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The next week went by like a century.

Spike had went through withdrawls that would rival a twenty year heroin addict's.

He had been sober since the night he called her. And now he wanted a drink more than ever.

Because he was aware.

He wasn't in a drunken haze anymore, now it slapped him in the face that she was really gone.

But then, she wasn't.

Because even though she was a hundred miles away, she was all around him.

Everywhere he looked she was there.

He would remember things that had happened, things that she had said.

Her scent, her image, things she liked, everything reminded him of her.

And how she was gone.

~~~

"Dad?"

Giles looked up at Spike who was standing in the doorway of his study.

They had talked almost everyday since the floodgates had opened. It would never be the same as it once was.

But maybe it would be better.

"Yes?"

Spike scratched his eyebrow with his thumbnail and looked at the floor to hide his tears, but Giles saw them.

"Come sit."

Giles looked at the couch beside his armchair and Spike plopped down, resting his head against the back.

"Now, which one is it?"

"Buffy."

Giles nodded his head, already knowing it was the absent blonde causing today's tears.

"She- I miss her. So much. God I can't- I don't know what I'm going to do!"

Giles gave him a sad little smile, and squeezed his arm.

"You go on, try to live. Try to let it make you stronger instead of weaker."

Spike gave him a look, "Like you have?"

Giles pulled his hand away and sat back against his chair.

Spike sighed and sat forward trying to catch his father's eye.

"I'm- I'm sorry. I didn't mean that -"

Giles gave a humorless laugh and pulled his glasses away to wipe his eyes.

"But it was true. I'm not giving you advice from personal experience, Will. I'm just telling you what I would have done if I had another chance."

He looked at Spike, a lone tear cutting a path down his cheek.

"Actually, if I had another chance-" He paused, pondering what exactly he would have done. "I would take us away. Just the three of us. I don't care if we had to run forever, never settling down, it would be worth it. Just to have her back. Just to hold her again, tell her how much I love her. And I would fight, my God, I would fight for her. Anything that came our way. Nothing would touch her. I would be there to protect her."

He finally ran out of breath and sat back, closing his eyes.

He sat back up and looked at Spike with glassy eyes.

"I don't have another chance. But you do."

Spike sat forward on the couch, listening intently.

"You have to do this on your own. But there's no reason she can't be beside you." Giles grabbed his hand, "Because if you love her, truly love her as you say you do, then you have to fight. You have to overcome this inside you, you have to face it."

Spike turned tearful eyes on him, and Giles gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.

"I can't do it without her."

"Then you have to let her in. You have to push your damned pride out of the way, and let her help you. That's why she's gone, son. You pushed her away." Spike opened his mouth to protest, "It's the truth. Even if it didn't look like it or feel like it, that's what happened. You're so afraid of being hurt that you hurt yourself. There is a chance that you could get hurt, actually it's more of a probability. But there's an even bigger chance that it'll be wonderful. That it would be so good you think your heart might burst from it. You have to take a chance, William."

Spike let the words sink in.

Could he risk it? Could he risk what was left of his heart?

*I love you, William*

Yes.

~~~

The front door opened and they sat up, wiping their eyes.

"Rupert?"

Spike listened as Jenny walked through the house toward the study. He looked back at Giles and could see the anticipation on his face.

"You know Dad-"

Spike clapped his father on the back and watched as Jenny appeared in the doorway,

"Maybe you do have a second chance."





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