[Reviews - 83]
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Microsoft Word Chapter or Story | ePub eBook Chapter or Story | Printer Chapter or Story

Has been viewed 2712 times

- Text Size +




Spike stood in the kitchen humming as he mixed Will-Sawyer's formula.

Buffy watched him from the doorway, knowing that he was a million miles away. She softly stalked over behind him and grabbed his hips.

"What are you doing?"

Spike jumped at least a foot in the air and let out an unmanly screech. He whirled around panting, his eyes as wide as saucers.

Buffy tried to hide her smile and keep up her innocent facade. She wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in his chest to hide her guilty and victorious smile.

He pulled her away from him and she was caught.

"No you don't, you little minx. You knew just exactly what you were doing."

Buffy dropped her head, letting a small pout form on her lips. She looked up at him and batted her eyelashes twice, knowing it was his weakness. She ran her hands up his arms, letting them settle on his shoulders where she began to softly caress them.

"Are you saying that I willingly scared you? My husband, my love?" She batted her eyelashes again.

Spike had been caught in her web, but he would be damned before letting her know it. He looked at her straight on, praying that his own facade was convincing.

"Yes Buffy, that's exactly what I'm saying."

She let her arms flop back to her sides and a genuine pout appeared on her face.

"Yeah, well. You suck."

Spike smiled and pulled her to him, clutching her even tighter when she half-heartedly struggled. He nuzzled her neck before moving to her ear.

"Not half as good as you, my love." He purred.

Buffy melted in his arms and he picked her up, sitting her on the countertop.

They kissed with passion that had been put away since the baby was born.

He kissed her letting his hands roam across her body. He softly massaged her breasts, making sure not to squeeze to much.

He let his hand drift under her shirt, running it softly up her stomach.

But when he reached scars, he jerked away like he was scalded.

His hand was still under her shirt when he jerked back, so he pulled her along with him. She grabbed onto his shoulders and barely managed to catch herself before she fell face first onto the floor.

"What is wrong with you?!"

Spike grabbed onto her and steadied her, but kept his distance.

She looked up at his face and her anger intesified and lessened at the same time.

His body was rigid, his eyes and teeth were clenched tight, and he was nearly shaking with need.

"Spike. Spike!"

His eyes opened to look at her.

"What in God's name is wrong with you?"

"We can't."

She jumped down from the counter and jerked away from him.

"Why?"

"Because you're not rea-"

"This has got to stop!"

He looked up, stunned by her outburst.

"You are driving me crazy. Spike, I'm fine. There is nothing going to happen, alright?"

"Oh, fine are you? So fine that you have to take bloody pills, huh?"

He was telling the truth. When Buffy's blood pressure started rising, she had to quit breast feeding Will and start taking blood pressure medicine.

"Spike, I'm alright. I'm even thinking about not taking them anymore."

He was in front of her gripping her arms in a second.

"You better take every bloody pill prescribed to you, do you understand?!"

The look in his eye was deadly, but she wasn't afraid.

She was hurt.

"Do you?!"

"Yes, Spike."

She jerked her arms away from him, grabbed Will-Sawyer's formula and shoved her way past him.

She barely got out of the kitchen before the tears fell.

~~~~~~~

Blue eyes stared up at her, almost questioning as Will sucked on his bottle.

She smiled and hugged him to her.

"Momma's sweet boy." She said, placing a kiss on his forehead.

He finished his bottle and she pulled it away, giggling when he followed it, still sucking.

She sat the bottle down and layed him over her shoulder, patting and rubbing his back until he burped.

She cradled him in her arms and looked down at her beautiful boy.

It amazed her how he looked just like his father.

She had seen pictures of Spike when he was born and it was just as Giles said in the hospital, he was a spitting image.

He hardly looked like her at all. But every now and then he would do something, and she could see herself in him.

She softly ran her fingers through his dark hair, playing with the soft beginnings of a curl. He was going to have curly hair. She wondered if he would have to wear glasses and hoped eyesight would be something he got from her.

She smiled as his tiny fist clutched at her breast. She wished that she could still breast feed him, it was so much healthier.

But she had to take the medicine.

That thought brought a frown to her face and the argument in the kitchen back to the surface.

She tried not to be angry or upset in front of Will, because it made him cranky too. Almost as if he knew his mother was in pain.

She understood what Spike was doing.

Really she did.

But it drove her insane.

He put her on a pedestel, she wasn't allowed to do anything and she hardly went anywhere. He was just trying to protect her and keep her safe, but he was smothering her as well. It had been nearly six months. She was fine, her blood pressure was normal and only the barely there scars remained on her stomach.

But they would always be there.

He hadn't wanted to make love at all, he hardly even held her.

Not because he didn't want to, but because he was afraid to.

She stood up and placed the sleeping baby in his crib. He snuggled down and she draped a soft blanket across him. She folded her arms across the side of the bed and layed her head against them.

How much more could she take?

~~~~~~~

Spike stood in the doorway and watched them. His family.

His life.

What would he do without them?

What would he do if every morning he didn't wake up beside Buffy, with Will-Sawyer across the hall?

He shook his head to clear that thought. He didn't even want to think about it.

He had hurt her. He saw it in her eyes.

He knew he was overreacting, but it's better safe than sorry, right?

She thought it was killing her? She had no idea.

He ached for her. Burned.

But the minute he got too close, he would curse himself for being stupid.

What if he hurt her? What if he pushed her to hard and her blood pressure hit the roof?

It would kill him. Or he would kill himself.

Because he would rather die than hurt her.

What he didn't realize was that he already had.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spike sat at his desk, grading papers.

He looked over at the clock and then back down at his work.

It was past ten and Buffy still hadn't come in from next door. After Will-Sawyer had woken up from his nap, Buffy had taken him over to his dad's.

That was at four o'clock this afternoon.

He looked at the window and then tried to concentrate on grading the paper in front of him. After checking the same question three times, he threw the pen down and scrubbed his face with his hands.

They should be home by now.

He got up and found his shoes, slipping them on. He closed the door behind him and jogged across the yard, not even bothering to knock before bursting in.

What he saw had him stopping in his tracks.

Buffy was sitting on the couch between Giles and Jenny, sobbing.

"What- what's going on?"

Buffy jumped up and wiped at her eyes.

"Nothing. Let me get Will and we'll go."

She walked down the hallway towards Giles and Jenny's room.

"What is going on here?"

Giles stood up and came over to him, patting him on the back.

"It's nothing, son. We were just talking."

"About what?"

"Nothing important."

Spike turned hard eyes to look at his father.

"I think it's something important if it makes my wife cry."

"Then you should already know about it, shouldn't you?"

Giles gave Spike a look just as deadly as the one he was recieving.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean tha-"

"We're ready."

Buffy walked in with Will's car seat and diaper bag.

Spike gave his father one last hard glare before going and getting the stuff Buffy was carrying.

"Here, I got it, love."

She stood her ground and held onto the bag and carrier even tighter.

"I can handle it."

Spike wasn't about to jerk the car seat away from her, since it held his sleeping son. He gave her a look and tried to pull her fingers away.

"Buffy, I mean it." He could see her eyes water and knew she was geting upset. "Buffy, come on, you're getting upset. Just give me the stuff so we can go."

She let out a humourless laugh as the tears began to flow and made sure he was holding onto the carrier before releasing it.

"You wonder why I'm getting upset."

She let out another laugh that was followed by a sob. She walked past him and out the door, not even stopping to say goodbye.

Spike turned and started to follow her out the door.

"Buf-"

He was stopped by a firm hand on his shoulder. He turned around to face his father.

"This has got to stop, now. I've stood by and I've watched this happen for months and I haven't said anything because I can understand to an extent. But this has gone too far. You've got to give her space and trust her, William. She's not going to let anything that's within her control happen to herself. She's got to much to live for. "

Spike dropped his head, he knew his father was right.

But the fear was still there.

Giles cupped his cheek and brought his face up to look in his eyes.

"Trust her, son. You're pushing her away. Have faith in her, she's never let you down before."

Spike looked into his father's eyes and gave a small grin that was full of pride.

"No she hasn't."

Giles smiled and patted his cheek.

"That's right. Now go home and tell your beautiful wife what a fool you've been."

He smiled at his father and let them give kisses to himself and Will-Sawyer before bolting out the door.

Well, bolting as much as he could without waking the baby.

~~~~~~~

He Took Will into his room and changed him before laying him down for the night.

Turning on the baby moniter, he checked him one last time before turning off the lights and softly closing the door.

He walked to his bedroom door and could hear her crying on the other side. He opened the door and walked inside, and he couldn't help but smile when she rolled over and crossed her arms, facing away from him.

He undressed and then crawled in behind her, nuzzeling at her arm with his nose. She jerked her arm away and he pulled his head back just before it got smacked.

"Leave me alone."

He reached out to touh her again.

"Baby doll, come here."

She was off the bed so fast that he fell over onto his stomach, his arm still out stretched to touch her.

"Oh, I don't think so. Don't you dare come in here like this after you humiliated me!"

He sighed and looked down at the bed.

"I'm sorry."

She started pacing up and down the side of the bed, working herself up.

"You think that's gonna make it better? Well, you're wrong, buddy!"

He knew her blood pressure was rising. Her face was red and she was beginning to sweat.

"Buffy, calm down."

She stopped to look at him, knowing he was right. It felt like the room was a furnace and she was out of breath. She nodded and ran a hand across her forehead, sitting down on the bed.

He stacked her pillows up and pulled her back onto them, throwing the covers to the end of the bed. He pulled her nightgown over her head and grabbed a magazine off the table to fan her with.

She layed back against the pillows with her hand thrown over her eyes, trying to get her breathing under control. Spike fanned her and kicked himself for being such an idiot.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered.

She took her hand away and looked at his face, her anger melting.

"I've been trying so hard to help you that I wound up hurting you."

She gave him a smile.

"Spike, you've got to trust me. I'm not going to let anything happen to myself."

He smiled thinking of his father's exact advice.

"What's that smile for, sweet boy?"

"Dad. He said the exact same thing."

"He's a smart guy." She smiled.

He nodded his head and kept fanning her.

"I'll try. I'll try to be better, but I won't stop worrying."

"I know, Spike. And you shouldn't, but you can't let it rule our lives. People live with this everyday, I'm going to be fine."

She gave him a reassuring smile.

"I know, love. But I am going to put my foot down about one thing. You can't stop taking your medicine."

"I know. I was just saying that, trying to get you to see that I'm fine. You can stop now, I feel better."

He dropped his arm and let out a breath.

"Thanks, love. Was beginning to get sore."

She brought his face to hers for a kiss.

"Thank you, honey."

He responded with a kiss that took her breath away all over again.

He draped himself across her, using his hands to keep his weight off her. She let her hands travel down his back to squeeze his rear.

He thrust against her and pulled himself away with a groan.

"What? What is it this time?" She tried to pull him back down to her.

He sat up and she flopped back against the pillows, kicking her legs and groaning.

"Buffy, we can't. Not after you had that spell."

"Spike, I'm fine! How many times do I have to fucking tell you that?!"

He looked back at her red face, grabbed the magazine and silently began to fan her again.

"Buffy, please just do this for me."

"Spike, I want you. I need you. Please."

"Not tonight. I want you to go to the doctor tommorrow-"

"What?!"

"Just listen," She let out a disgusted sigh and turned her face away. "Buffy, listen to me."

She finally turned toward him and he caressed her cheek.

"Go to the doctor and talk to him. Make sure it's alright."

"Spike! It's fine, it's alright! Most women are having sex seven WEEKS after birth."

"You're not most women, Buffy."

She flopped back against the pillows and gave a huge sigh.

"You're set in stone about this aren't you?"

He gave her a smile.

"Yes."

She covered her face with her hands and rolled over, jerking the covers up around her.

"The things I do for you."

He cuddled up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Yeah, but you love me."

"I know. God help me." She muttered under her breath.

"I heard that."





You must login (register) to review.