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An hour later, and Buffy was still on the floor in front of the couch. The tears wouldn't stop. She hadn't cried this much since the day after it happened, when the shock left and reality sank in.

She cried for everything she could think of, everything that had ever happened to her. She cried for her mother, her father, and she cried for Spike. Because in that moment she was so close to him, she could see it. Hell, she could feel it. The grief and despair that rolled off of him. The look in his eye, and the tremble in the hands that held her. He needed someone just as much as she did.

But she couldn't understand something. Even though her father had abandoned her, basically told her he didn't want her, she still turned to him. She wanted her daddy to hold her, she needed him to comfort her. He was all she had left.

But he hadn't wanted to her, sent her away to people she hardly knew anymore, that were battling demons of their own.

But Giles was here, he tried to reach out to Spike, only to be shoved away. She couldn't understand why Spike wouldn't accept love from his father.

But she would.

~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy walked down the sidewalk, kicking herself for turning down Jenny's offer to show her around.

' I'm gonna get kidnapped. I know it. Oh God, please let me find that dummy.' She thought to herself as she looked up and down the streets looking for anything resembling a bleached head.

She turned a corner and heard music coming from a block or two away. A group of kids around her age were heading that way so she trailed behind them. She followed them to a doorway, with a small neon light above it.

The Bronze. She thought she had heard that somewhere before, but couldn't remember where, and since she had been all over and he was no where else, there was a good chance he could be in there.

She thanked God she had grabbed her purse when she paid the cover charge, and thanked the bouncer for opening the door for her. The small place was packed with people, and she sighed at the thought of trying to find him, in this sea of bodies. She flinched when someone bumped into her, having not been around anyone since the funeral.

She scanned the crowds with no luck, and decided to make her way to the bar. 'God, knows he likes to drink.' She made her way over and searched the stools for him with no avail.

She nearly screamed when someone touched her shoulder, and then relaxed when she remembered Spike doing it before. "God, I've been looking all over for you." She ground out in a irritated voice, turning around to be met with a pair of brown eyes.

"You've been looking for me? Well, that's good. Because I've been looking my entire life for you." The guy looked her up and down as he spoke, leering at her legs and chest.

Buffy was ready to turn and run, when a strong hand wrapped around her elbow.

"She's with me." Buffy turned to look at Spike, relieved that he was here, and a little thrilled at the look in his eyes.

Possessive.

The guy held his hands up, palms outward, "Hey, Giles. I was just leaving. No hard feelings." Buffy turned to look at Spike and watched his eyes follow the boy until the dancers camoflouged him.

He looked down at her then, "What the bloody hell are you doing here?" She frowned at his harsh words and pulled her arm away.

"I was looking for you. I wanted to talk to you." He turned and started walking away from her, speaking over his shoulder.

"There's nothing to talk about." She raced in front of him, putting a stop to his descent.

"Yes, there is. I- I'm sorry. I just- it's tearing me up inside, you know?" She looked back at him and noticed his eyes soften at her confession. "And- and you're right. I haven't talked about it, and I'm just wasting my life sitting around. She- she wouldn't have wanted that."
A tear fell at her whispered words, and she was surprised when Spike wiped it away with the pad of his thumb. She looked up to see his eyes watering, and gave him a shaky smile. "Forgive me?"

His eyes crinkled as he gave her a smile, "I'm the one who should be apologizing, pet. I-I do know." The last part was said so low, she wasn't even sure if she had heard him right until his eyes got a bit hazy and his lower lip quivered. She knew she was about to lose him to his memories, so she latched onto his arm.

"Well, let's just consider it forgotten." She watched as he shook his head to clear his mind, the same way Giles had in her bedroom, so long ago. He gave her a small smile, and turned her around, pushing her toward the bar.

"Let me get you a drink, pet. What do you want?" He motioned the bartender over.

"Just a coke, is fine."

"You got it." He turned around and gave their orders to the waiting man. After he had left to fetch their drinks, Spike turned to look at Buffy, here amongst all this people she looked tiny and frail, but Spike knew she was stronger than most people could ever think of being. She had went through so much and was still gentle and caring. He thought of the way she had dragged him to his room that night, after he had blatantly ingnored her since the night he found her in the shower.

But the truth was she scared him. When he had heard her sobs over the sound of his music, he had tripped over his nightstand in his haste to get to her. And when he had ripped open that shower curtain and saw her huddled in the bottom of the tub, he cried along with her. He did know what she ws going through. He had been going through it for seven years now. For those few moments when Buffy was crying on his shoulder, he forgot about the hate and pain, and only thought of making her's disappear. But when his dad stormed in, the memories cames stampeding back, and he had wanted nothing more than to crawl in a bottle and live out the rest of his days there.

"Here, man. Two cokes." Spike turned around and retrieved the cokes, handed Buffy hers, and steered them toward an empty table. When they got settled in away from the crowd, they just sat in a comfortable silence, enjoying the others presence.

Spike found that his gaze kept drifting back to Buffy, and he watched as she looked at the people on the dance floor, her eyes sparkling with something he was sure hadn't been there in quite a while.

A slower beat came over the speakers, and Spike watched as Buffy stared longingly at the couples slow dancing. He contemplated asking her, but he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to himself. A soft sigh pulled him out of his musings, and he turned his head to see a small smile crossing her face.

Any resistance on his part flew out the window at the beautiful smile tugging on her lips.

Buffy looked over when Spike stood up, and looked into his eyes after glancing at the hand before her. She could see how anxious he was, and gave him a dazzling smile while placing her hand in his. He let out a breath, and smiled at her, dimples shining.

He pulled her to the dance floor and placed his hands on her waist. She slid her hands up his arms and let them settle on his shoulders, tilting her face up to gaze into eyes as stormy as the ocean.

*Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart*


They started swaying to the beat of the music, their gazes never leaving the others. Buffy wondered how Giles and Jenny could be so blind. She could see the pain in Spike's eyes, the same pain that had been there when he swaggered into the dining room her first night here. But now, there was something else. A spark. A twinkle that hadn't been there before. Buffy wondered what had put it there, never even thinking that it was because of her.


*Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit restless and I dream of something wild
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit helpless and I'm lying like a child in your arms
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit angry and I know I've got to get out and cry
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit terrified but then I see the look in your eyes
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart*



God, she was beautiful. Spike stared into her deep green eyes and felt something strike in his heart. Felt the embers begin burning for this tiny girl. He hardly even knew her, but he felt that he could share the secrets of the world with her.


*And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight*


Spike pulled her closer to him, sliding his hands up her waist and around her back, clutching her to his chest. She closed her eyes at the feel of his strong hands caressing her back, and slid her own hands over his shoulders, down to rest against his shoulder blades. She could feel the knots and pressure there and began massaging them slowly. Spike's forehead fell forward against her own as he let out a soft moan at her actions.


*Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart*


"Buffy." It was a mere whisper of breath, but she felt it hit her heart like a sledgehammer. His soft breath against her face was the sweetest thing she had ever felt, and his hard body pressing against hers warmed her like fire. Never had she felt anything like this in her life, and she was loathe to let it end. She fisted his shirt in her hands and pulled him impossibly closer to her.


*Turnaround bright eyes
Turnaround bright eyes
Turnaround, Every now and then I know you'll never be the boy you always wanted to be
Turnaround, But every now and then I know you'll always be the only boy who wanted me the way that I am
Turnaround, Every now and then I know there's no one in the universe as magical and wondrous as you
Turnaround, Every now and then I know there's nothing any better and there's nothing I just wouldn't do
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart*

Her soft body pressing against his was the sweetest torture in the world. Her hands were clutching his shirt as if she was afraid he was going to leave. But she had nothing to worry about. He wasn't going to leave, he couldn't. Not when she was whispering his name like a prayer.

*And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
Well be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight*


"Spike." He lifted his head at the soft sigh of his name and met her eyes with his. Her hands slid up his neck and cradled his cheeks, her thumbs softly caressing the sharp edges. She pulled his head to hers, and their lips met in a kiss that would change their lives.


*Forever's gonna start tonight*





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