Yo Mama
I see you in your office sending and receiving cheques
Andrew Wells looked longingly at the view behind his blinds as his colleague passed his office. William Huntington was a fine specimen of a man and seemed to partake in not one iota of work. Andrew sighed and went back to what his stepbrother had asked him to do for the day: type up the sales reports while Angel sent out the cheques. Andrew just prayed he didn’t screw anything up like last time.
But I know the quest for money comes from a quest for sex
Michael, Liam Angelus’ father, had married Buffy Wells after the widow and widower had met in a park and fallen in love. Michael had died and Buffy was left in a house with a stepson a few years short of her own age and her easily impressionable son still struggling out of the shackles of teenage-hood. Liam had taken over Michael’s business and Buffy was a regular at the corporate parties and balls that the former CEO’s widow was expected to attend. She also popped into the offices occasionally to see how her Andrew was coping. He was unguided and she worried about him and his lack of father figures. Liam was a bully in business and he had only agreed to give Andrew a job after many hours of nagging.
So I cut to the chase and forgot about my job
William Huntington had always noticed the dashing blonde woman sweeping through the offices, stroking the little wimp’s arm as he clung to her side. William had also noticed the looks his broody bloody boss shot towards Andrew. Seething hatred mixed in with a sick lust directed at his stepmother. William could not wait to have her, his job be damned.
And decided to stay home with yo mama on my knob
Angelus left the offices with whiskey already on his breath, heading towards the local bar to pick up whatever blonde slut he could find.
I can see you’re laughing so I guess you think it’s funny
But while you’re getting drunk I've been getting honey
Tonight’s would be a diseased whore called Darla. He’d have to down half a bottle of Jack before being able to stop thinking about his stepmother.
And by tomorrow night you will be hung over and sick
William caught her arm after she left Andrew at his tiny office with a kiss on each cheek. She must have been so young when she first married.
“Hello?” her lips inquired and William was entranced.
“Hmm?”
“William, is it?”
“I’m sorry ma’am, here’s the lift.” His sculpted arm shot out towards the closing elevator and watched her behind swish through the lift doors.
“God, I want you right now.” Buffy whispered from the corner of her mouth, delicate handkerchief covering her moving lips from the security camera.
And I'll be at your home with yo mama on my dick
William smirked.
Yo mama's on the top of my things to do list
William was so glad his father had gotten him a job with his best bud from uni. Meant he could get off early. In his boss’s stepmother.
Thinking you’re the man but I am bringing news
William loved the Angelus’ house. It was large enough that even if Liam came home early, he wouldn’t hear the rutting in the dining room until he was setting the table.
Our manhoods’ being measured by the women that we choose
William never felt as manly as when he was pounding Buffy into that mahogany.
And you can’t earn respect if all you ever pick is sluts
The bar was crawling with CEOs in tailored suits and a general aura of money stunk up the air. None of the men paid much heed to the brooding git who chatted up the clingy gold-diggers and prostitutes who dared to walk into the upper echelon bar. Liam Angelus was going to get a disease that night.
So I’ll stay at your home and let yo mama suck my nuts
William was going to get one too. Bloody love, it was a bitch to catch and when you caught it, all it could do was make a wreck of your body from head to toe. Would shake and rattle you and tear your nervous system to pieces and stop your heart more times over than a cardiologist would ever recommend.
And William had no cure for Buffy.
Yo mama's on the top of my things to do list
He fantasised some days, trying to dwindle away the hours at work.
Eat more fruit plant more trees
In his mind, he would feed her grapes as she was draped naked over his body in the middle of the office.
Learn to shoot travel overseas
He would take her back to England and they’d go out to his uncle’s estate. The annual foxhunting would have her atop a horse with her curls floating out from a gorgeous tweed hat as the blood lust burnt through to her bits.
Wash the dog, read a book
He’d have her in a home he owned, tucked up beside him in bed while they each read a book with the dog at their feet before they drifted off to sleep in each others’ arms.
Find three Chinese recipes to cook
She’d be cooking in the kitchen when he came home from a day doing nothing but writing about her.
Learn to waltz and speak Maltese
They’d dance under the stars and fuck till dawn, when some farmer found them still wrecking the grains.
Perment to invent a better Fetta cheese
He would invent ways just to see her during the day, and have her over that fucking table.
The highest they get is number two
But all those fantasies were secondary to the one he was currently receiving.
Cause number one on my list of things to do is
She was on her knees now, taking him in hand and using those lips on his balls, sucking and nipping as if he were her favourite piece of chocolate cake with real pieces of chocolate jutting up from the rich, velvety frosting.
Yo Mama
And now she was guiding him back to her bedroom, leading him by his dick.
She’s always on top
She pushed him down onto her marital bed, his long, lightly-haired legs knocking the oblong wooden chest at the end with a thud. The tie that was still hanging off his neck in front of his bare chest and half clothed arms was swiftly recalled.
Buffy climbed up on the bed, her tanned, smooth legs brushing against the skin of his thighs as she positioned herself to free him of his business shirt.
The shirt was soon gone and Buffy was lowering herself down inch by inch. And William was lost within her.
In my dream I was a cop and I stopped to arrest her
William dreamt about her last night.
Never met a whore more hardcore so I frisked her
It spawned from what she had let him do to her the day previous.
Steamed up the Beemer and needed the demister
She had taken William out of the city limits in her big BMW and they fucked until his dick ran out of energy and the windows had fogged. Then Buffy went to town in cleaning up like a good little housewife.
When she licked my colon cleaner than a clyster
She licked up every speck of spunk that hadn’t made it into her pussy then rimmed him until it was time for them to pick up Liam’s sister from the airport.
Got another blister from playing naked twister
William had ached with the bites and grips Buffy had inflicted upon him after he first caught site of Drusilla.
Raw on the floor with yo mama and yo sister
One glimpse at Liam’s sister had the fantasies running wild in his mind. William loved the look of Drusilla. She was like a dark princess, sucking his cock in his daydreams, making him feel guilty as soon as he zoned back in and saw Buffy again.
Hadn't even kissed her but she still let me fist her
But Buffy got off on his fantasies. Made him whisper them in her ears. She’d come around his cock as she rode him on his desk, the naughty words floating through the space and time between them.
But she would always turn the tables on him.
“Are you imagining Drusilla right now? Fucking your cock and reaching around to plunge her little fingers into your hole? Do you want to see me fuck her? You want to watch as I slide my tongue into her pussy? Will you jack off?”
Drusilla was dropped back to the house William loved and Buffy was dropping her wet quim down to meet the tickling hairs at the base of his penis.
He came so hard the first time that he broke the automatic pencil sharpener. Those things had a ten-year warranty.
I let her drive home pissed and said “hasta la vista, baby.”
Now, as Liam was pulling up into the driveway, William’s dream of the inebriated, well-sexed woman driving away from his uniformed body drifted out of his mind. Buffy looked at him, her eyes clearly saying she’d see him later in the week. He knew he had to leave behind the tasty memories of their time together with her sated body but his heart was telling him never to leave the silky sheets of her bed.
He ran half-naked to the bus stop.
The looks he received when he piled onto the bus while buckling his belt was enough for him to, just for a second, question whether all this was worth it. Whether she was worth it.
Abso-fucking-lutely.
Fin
Author's Chapter Notes:
The is for the bestest beautiful bloody brilliant dampersandspoons birthday. Even though I'm pretty sure she has an aversion to songfics as much as I do. Before or during reading, I suggest you swing by youtube to watch/listen to the song this story is based on. The language is pretty foul :D
Beta: The presumptuous xtanitx . She is mega awesome. Any mistakes are my own. Cause I needed to fix up continuity problems by adding sentences. Woo magic sentences.
heerleader: The fembot ssddgr because she is pretty and can kick her legs up to places I cannot compute as existing.
Disclaimer: BtVS characters do not belong to me. Neither does Butterfinger's lyrics to the song Yo Mama. I'm purely using them for entertainment, no profit. But maybe Evil Eddie from Butterfingers stumbles across the post and I'll happily let me be on the top of his list of things to do *evil grin*
Beta: The presumptuous xtanitx . She is mega awesome. Any mistakes are my own. Cause I needed to fix up continuity problems by adding sentences. Woo magic sentences.
heerleader: The fembot ssddgr because she is pretty and can kick her legs up to places I cannot compute as existing.
Disclaimer: BtVS characters do not belong to me. Neither does Butterfinger's lyrics to the song Yo Mama. I'm purely using them for entertainment, no profit. But maybe Evil Eddie from Butterfingers stumbles across the post and I'll happily let me be on the top of his list of things to do *evil grin*