[Reviews - 55]
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Microsoft Word Chapter or Story | ePub eBook Chapter or Story | Printer Chapter or Story

Has been viewed 2950 times

- Text Size +




Author's Chapter Notes:
thanks for all your reviews! i love you all
here's another chapter for you
“I never said you were icky. You are definitely not icky.” She corrected causing Spike to smile. “It’s just-I don’t want to-” Buffy stopped herself, took a deep breath and then let it out. “It makes me feel old. There is a thirteen-year gap between our ages. That means that when I was 23 your were 10!” Buffy exclaimed reluctantly. It sucked…all the guys around her age were either assholes, married, or she didn’t find them attractive. Now finally she meets someone who is a complete honey with a side order of bad-boy, very single, and absolutely gorgeous-and yet he’s the one that happens to be too young for her. Damn the Powers That Be for punishing her so cruelly.


Chapter 3: Windows To The Soul


“So?” Spike didn’t see the problem on the other hand. Age wasn’t something that really mattered to him if you find yourself attracted to their personality as well as their looks. And she was beautiful. He found it hard to believe that she was 36 when she told him but he could she the maturity in her eyes…something that he rarely found in the women he went out with which disappointed him. He needed someone like himself.

Being put in a bad situation in his childhood, Spike learned how to grow up fast, therefore he saw the world through mature eyes.

“‘So?’! That doesn’t bother you? Plus I’m sure you’ve got plenty of girls out there just waiting to snatch you up.” Buffy stated bitterly. Guy probably just wants to bag an older woman for the experience, and then run to tell his little friends about it. Damn kids these days…got not respect. As that thought ran through her head, Buffy suddenly felt like a cynical old women. She visibly cringed.

“No, it doesn’t and I’m not the kind of guy that goes around looking for someone to shag. I like relationships…and being with that one person. When they’re right for you. I’m just waiting for the right one and I know that’s what you’re doing too.” Spike claimed looking at her with this sincerity that floored her.

For a second Buffy felt her heart beat faster, and she nearly let it show on her face that that statement had been true. Then she thought better of it, and shut it down completely, and fixed him with a bored look with her arms crossed over her chest. “So all of a sudden you think you know me? After dinner and a coffee?” she asked in a flat and disbelieving tone.

“Noo…it’s in your eyes. They’re the windows to your soul, and you can practically see every emotion and feeling played out in them if you look hard enough. You get this look in them that just screams for that one person.” Spike took a bit of a pause, letting Buffy absorb all that was just said. “Which is sad because you may never find that person.” Spike assumed in a matter-of-fact way, causing Buffy to bow her head in an attempt to hide the tears building up. “If you keep pushing people away.” He finished firmly, after seeing her head turn down.

Buffy’s head shot up to look at him, tears lining the rims of her eyes. Was he trying to say that he could be the one if she just gave him a chance? Or was he letting her know for the next guy that comes along?

Spike knew he’d get that reaction out of her. He wanted her to see that it was okay to let other people in and to take chances. He could tell that she was the type of person that shut people out when she had a problem, and thought with her head instead of her heart.

He was the opposite. He never hid his feelings…they were what made him human. Thinking with his heart was always number one, even if it ended up hurting him in the end. At least he was truthful to himself.

Maybe her letting tears fall in front of him was the first step at letting those emotion shine through her eyes, rather than be a dull light behind them.

“Stop shutting people out, Buffy.” He continued softly. “Stop closing out your emotions.”

“I don’t shut-” She stopped herself when she realized that she just did it when he told her that he was looking for the same thing she was. “Okay maybe I do…but I have my reasons.” She argued with a slight waver in her voice. For the first time that night Buffy felt like she should have brought a coat as a chill ran through her spine.

“What? Have you been hurt in the past by men…your ex-husband? Trust issues…maybe it was the fact that you shut him out too much that he left.” Spike continued thought after thought.

Flashback

“This relationship won’t work, Buffy if you leave me out of everything! Let me in…let me help you!”

“Why don’t you tell me what’s wrong? We’re suppose to be sharing are lives, and to me it feels like you’re living in one that doesn’t have me in it.”

End flashback

“-or maybe it’s just-” Buffy came back to Spike’s voice, and out of her memories.

“Okay, can you just stop it!? God!” Buffy cried out, turning to him with tears streaming down her cheeks. She hugged herself, in a way of comfort. His words cut her deeper than she thought they would, and it scared her how much he could shake her up like this. It was almost like he knew her better than she knew herself. And that scared her even more.

“See…sadness isn’t exactly the best emotion to feel but it’s still an emotion.” Spike concluded, with an apologetic smile. He didn’t want to see her cry but if it helped…

“So…” Buffy started, sniffling and wiping away tears. “You said all that…just to get a reaction out of me?” She asked quietly. At his nod she asked him another question. “Has anyone ever told you that you should be a psychiatrist?”

Spike smiled knowingly. “My mum, and all the time. But it’s not what I want to do with my life.” Spike continued, starting to walk down the sidewalk.

Buffy starting walking as well as they continued down the quiet road. “And what do you want to do with your life?”

“Write. I love writing.” He told her looking towards the girl on his left. Buffy knew what he was talking about now when he said you could see the feelings of others if you look into their eyes hard enough. All she could see in his was passion. He was passionate about writing as she was about painting.

“What kind of writing?”

“Everything. Lyrics, stories, screenplays…hell even poetry.” He said it all with a grin that let her know it was his life.

“You write poetry?” she said with a gleeful smile.

“Yeah…a lot of people find it wimpy and silly but I find it-”

“Freeing?” Buffy finished, cutting him off.

An even bigger smile grew on his face if it was even possible. “Yes! Exactly…do you write poetry?” he asked hopefully.

“Um, no but I do read it a lot. And I base a majority of my paintings on my favorite stanzas.” Buffy admitted in a happy tone.

“Um…” Spike started, looking up at the sky in a thoughtful manner. “I do not see why I should e'er turn back/ or those should not set forth upon my track,” He recited looking over at Buffy.

Buffy broke out into a huge smile. “To overtake me, who should miss me here
and long to know if still I held them dear.” Buffy finished off the end of the poem with shining eyes. “Robert Frost. Impressive.” She said with raised brows and an awed smile.

“That was the first poem I read of his…I was eight. I didn’t really understand it then, but I memorized it anyway.” Spike reminisced.

Deciding to pick up their cars from the Pub the next morning, the two of them continued walking down the road until they stopped in front of Buffy’s house. Her now very empty house since Angel had moved out. Spike walked her up to the porch, and the two stood there neither wanting to end the night.

“Thanks for tonight Spike…you made me think about a lot of things.” Buffy stated softly.

Spike grinned at her. “Does that mean you’ll think about going out with me again?” he tucked a lock of her golden hair behind her ear, lightly grazing the shell.

“A definite yes.” She replied, the smile never leaving her face. She pulled her card out of her purse and handed it to him. Leaning up slightly, Buffy gave him a tender kiss on the cheek. “Give me a call.” She flashed him one more smile, then unlocked the door and stepped inside shutting the door behind her.

Spike stood there in shock. She was unbelievably gorgeous and she was interested in him. This night just couldn’t get any better. He smiled happily to himself while looking down at the card in his hand and did a cute little skip down the stairs and make his trek home.


Chapter End Notes:
hope you liked that nice long chapter....please review!



You must login (register) to review.