Having been standing out on the porch for what seemed like hours – when in reality, it couldn’t have been more than fifteen minutes at the most – Buffy nearly jumped when the front door finally opened and William appeared in the doorway. Feeling like she had been holding her breath ever since he went inside, she was beyond relieved to see him.
That was, until she saw the look on his face. Refusing to meet her eyes, William walked past her without a word, leaving her to stare after him in confusion. “William?” She grabbed his arm to stop him, her heart beating painfully hard inside her chest. He stopped, not pulling away from her, but still not looking at her, either. Now she was becoming afraid. “What happened?”
“Let’s go.” William avoided her question, and she could suddenly feel the tension rolling off him in waves. Looking at him with big eyes, Buffy then glanced at the door, for some reason almost expecting Drusilla to stand there, laughing and saying something like ’you didn’t think I’d let him go that easily, did you?’ But the door remained closed, and Drusilla was nowhere to be seen.
“But...” Buffy swallowed, a million thoughts rushing through her mind at the same time, making her feel like her head was spinning. What was going on?
“Later.” William did look up then and their eyes met. He gave her an almost pleading look, silently begging her not to object, and she realized that while he was clearly upset, it was at least not directed at her. Inhaling shakily, Buffy nodded without a word. She couldn’t exactly blame him for wanting to get out of here.
Once they had finally made it back to Buffy’s place, she didn’t know whether to scream, cry, or simply throw things in frustration. William hadn’t said a word on the way back, and she had not dared to question him again. Closing the door behind her, she couldn’t take the silence anymore and crossed her arms over her chest. “Well? You better start talking, because I’m freaking out here.”
William opened his mouth, then closed it again. As he slowly made his way over to the couch and sat down, Buffy remained standing by the door, for some reason afraid to move any closer. Wrapping her arms protectively around herself, she gave him an expectant look. However, nothing in the world could have prepared her for his next words.
“Drusilla’s pregnant.” He kept his eyes on the floor. “Says it’s mine, but she can’t know that for sure, right?” When he was met by nothing but silence, he finally raised his head, giving her a fearful look. “Buffy?”
“Oh my God...” Staring at him in shock, Buffy could feel it all slipping away from her without being able to do a thing to stop it. “Please, tell me you’re kidding?”
Swallowing hard, William shook his head. “You gonna leave me now,” he whispered, the fear and desperation so evident in his voice that it nearly broke her heart. It made her snap out of it, though, and she was at his side before her mind had even registered that she was moving.
“Are you...?” Carefully sitting down next to him, she put a trembling hand on his knee. “Could there be even a slightest chance she’s lying?” Please, God, tell me it’s possible, her mind was screaming.
“Dunno.” His voice was trembling now. “Showed me the soddin’ test, looked pretty real to me.” He let out a bitter laugh. “Fuck!”
“Okay. Safe to assume she not lying, then.” Buffy was quiet for a moment, desperately trying to force back her emotions but not quite succeeding.
“Told me she was on the pill,” he muttered, almost too low for her to hear. Suddenly he felt like he was going to be sick.
Giving him a look of bewilderment, she was unable to keep the sarcasm out of her voice. “And you what? Just took her word for it? God, William, how could you be so irresponsible?!” He looked at her for a moment, then merely shrugged, the shame written all over his face.
Closing her eyes and silently counting to five, Buffy struggled to stay rational. “All right. What’s done is done. Now I guess the question is; what are you gonna do about it?”
William got a startled expression on his face. “I – I don’t know.”
Buffy couldn’t help but take pity on him; he seemed to be so lost. As far as she was concerned, this was a complete nightmare. And she could only imagine how William must be feeling. She took a deep breath. “Well, you said so yourself – she can’t know for sure it’s really yours. Until we know...” Hesitating briefly, she then went on; “I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”
“Oh, you have got to be joking!” He stared at her in utter disbelief. “How can you say that? How can you just sit there and take this so bloody lightly?!”
“Are you kidding?!” Buffy glared at him, rational thoughts forgotten. “If you think for one second that I’m taking any of this lightly...” She had to bite her tongue to prevent the tears from welling up in her eyes. “If you must know, I’m about this close to losing it.” Jumping up from the couch, she started pacing angrily back and forth.
Eyes widening, William got up as well, although he made no motion of approaching her. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “I’ll leave if you want me to.”
Buffy stopped abruptly, knowing that was the last thing she wanted. In fact, the mere thought of him leaving now made her absolutely terrified. A part of her was still in shock, confused beyond words, but she also knew that this had to be just as frightening for William. Who was she kidding? It had to be even worse for him. For a moment, she felt like the most selfish person ever. She hadn’t even asked him how he felt about all of this.
“Please, don’t go.” Taking a hesitant step towards him, she then stopped, a few feet away. Suddenly, all she wanted was for him to take her in his arms and promise that everything would be okay. Their eyes met, and she realized that he probably needed the same thing from her. Shaking her head, Buffy tried to clear her thoughts. “William, I’m sorry. I’m not being fair. I’m just...” She hesitated. “...scared.”
William watched her in silence for a moment, then rolled his eyes and walked over to her. “Makes two of us, then.” He tilted his head to the side. “Buffy, you don’t owe me anything. But I need to know one thing. If I have to do this without you, please, just tell me now.” For a moment, she was almost certain she saw tears in his eyes.
“I love you.” The words were out of her mouth before she realized she had spoken them, and more importantly, she knew it was the truth. Finally closing the gap between them, Buffy stepped right into his arms. “I’m right here,” she told him firmly. “Not going anywhere. Whatever happens, we’ll deal with it.” She could feel at least some of the tension leave his body as she slipped her arms around him.
“Oh, thank God!” William chuckled, although it came out more like a sob. For a moment, they just stood there, clinging to each other. Then he pulled back a little, his eyes searching hers. “Don’t know what’s gonna happen,” he admitted. “Don’t want it to be mine, hell, I don’t want anything to do with her. But if it is...” He swallowed, lowering his eyes.
“You need to do what’s right,” Buffy finished with a nod. “Just as long as you remember that you have no responsibility towards Drusilla. Just towards the baby, should it turn out to be yours. And who knows? It might not be.”
“Yeah.” William looked down at his hands, realizing how badly they were shaking. The whole situation seemed unreal to him, and he couldn’t help but wish it was all just a bad dream. But if it was, he didn’t wake up. He should have known it was all too good to be true when Buffy told him that she wanted to be with him. Maybe there would always be something that prevented him from being truly happy.
Buffy could see that he was still pretty shaken, and while she couldn’t really blame him, it only made her more determined than ever to make sure Drusilla would never be able to come between her and William again, whether or not she was actually carrying his child. Although hooking up with Dru hadn’t been one of his smartest moves, he sure as hell didn’t deserve this.
She managed a small smile. “We’ll be okay, William. You’ll see.” Strangely, she realized that while she was trying to assure William, she was actually starting to believe her own words. There was just no way in hell Buffy would give up on them now. So, Drusilla wanted to play? Well, she didn’t know who she was up against. Maybe it was time for her to find out.
TBC