Time appeared to be standing still, and William didn’t even realize he had moved until he heard the clatter of the knife, falling to the floor. Then he snapped out of it, managing to catch Drusilla just before her legs gave in and she collapsed in his arms, her hands pressed against the open wound in her stomach.
There suddenly seemed to be blood everywhere, and William looked around the room in panic. “Buffy!” he then hollered, silently praying she would be close by. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Seeing how Drusilla’s eyes started to become glassy, he grabbed hold of her chin in a desperate attempt to force her to look at him. “No, Dru, keep your eyes open! Gotta stay awake, you hear? Don’t fucking do this!”
She tried to focus on his lips moving, but found it harder and harder and she couldn’t understand why her eyelids suddenly felt so heavy. “William?” she whispered, slowly raising her arm and watching her hand in confusion. Then she turned her eyes back to him, blinking as her vision became more and more blurry. “There’s so much blood. Is it mine?”
“Shh, don’t talk, just...” William got interrupted as Buffy came rushing into the kitchen, only to stop dead in her tracks at the sight in front of her. The relief of seeing her almost made him weep. “Buffy, call 911! Now!”
“Oh my God!” Buffy stared at the two of them in shock for a moment, then spun around and ran out of the room in search for a phone.
Assured that help would come, William turned his attention back the the barely conscious woman in his arms. “Don’t bloody dare dying on me, you selfish bitch!” he sputtered, slapping her face to keep her from drifting off. “Why did you do it? Listen to me, you stupid cow! Why?!”
Drusilla blinked again, then started coughing. She inhaled, shakily, and let out a soft whimper. “It hurts...”
“No bloody kidding?!” He glared at her, his face a mixture of horror and fury. “How the bleedin’ hell could you do this? What the fuck were you thinking?!” Tears of anger and shock were spilling down his cheeks, but he didn’t even notice.
“I...” A weak moan escaped her throat as the realization of her actions started to sink in. “I just wanted...” Her eyes started welling up as well. “I’m afraid, William. Please, don’t leave me...” She reached out a trembling hand toward his face, but he flinched away from her touch.
Yet, he remained where he was. “M’here,” he muttered. “Ambulance is on its way. Just stop talking.”
“I think...” Drusilla’s voice was barely more than a whisper. “...there’s something wrong with me. Think I need help. Will you...?” As her voice trailed off, Drusilla’s eyes rolled back in her head. Her face became slack. And all there was left was silence.
“Mr Pratt? I’m Dr. Rupert Giles, but you can just call me Giles. Terribly sorry for keeping you waiting.“ The man looked to be in his early forties, and he made a sympathetic appearance as he came to stand in front of them.
William jumped up from the chair, Buffy following. They had been sitting in the small waiting room for what seemed like hours, although none of them had said much since they arrived at the hospital. Now he took a deep breath. “Is she...?”
The doctor held up a hand in a calming gesture. “I assure you, Ms. Reynolds will be all right. Naturally, she has lost a lot of blood, and will most likely feel very tired when she wakes up. We will keep her here a couple of days for observation.”
He was afraid to ask, but did so anyway. “And the baby?”
After a brief moment of silence, Giles shook his head. “There was nothing to be done. I’m sorry.” A pause. “Were you the father?”
William was quiet for a moment, then shrugged. “Guess I’ll never find out.” Giles looked a little confused, but clearly decided not to question. After explaining that Drusilla would probably be out of it for the rest of the night, and that they were most welcome to come back and visit her in the morning, he excused himself and left.
Buffy watched her boyfriend in silence for a moment, then stepped over to him and took his hand. “You okay, baby?”
“Yeah,” he responded automatically, then let out a bitter laugh. “Second thought, ask me again tomorrow. Maybe then, some of this will make any sense.”
She gave him a sad smile, giving his hand a squeeze. “It’s okay to be sad, you know. You were together for a while, even though it ended kinda badly. I understand if you’re feeling...”
“Wanna know how I feel?” William interrupted her. “I’m bloody pissed off, s’what I am. How could she do something like that, Buffy? I mean, yesterday she wanted me to come to the ultrasound, and now...” He swallowed. “Could’ve been my kid, but she didn’t even care. Hell, she had no fucking right to...!” Unable to continue, he slammed his fist furiously into the wall.
Buffy glanced around, relieved to find that they were the only two people in the waiting room, and put her hand on his arm. “Sweetie, it’s okay. You’re allowed to be angry at her. What she did...” She hesitated a little. “William, I’m so sorry. About the baby, I mean. Maybe it wasn’t yours, but it...”
“Might’ve been,” he finished, squeezing his eyes shut to prevent the tears from falling. She wrapped her arms around him then, and he buried his face in her shoulder. They just stood like that for a moment, clinging to each other, then he pulled back a little. “Wanna know the fucked up part? Was actually starting to get used to the idea of becoming a dad.”
“I know.” Buffy gently cupped his cheek. “And some day, you will be. It will just be with a different mommy.” She tried to smile.
He felt his heart melt at her words, once again thanking whatever powers may be listening for letting him and Buffy find their way back together. Swallowing hard, he covered her hand with his, then leaned in to brush his lips softly against hers. “Am I a bad person for not feeling sorry for her?”
Buffy frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Drusilla.” William sighed. “Not sure what’s been going on in that twisted head of hers, but no one in their right mind would shove a soddin’ knife through their own body.” He paused. “Even said so herself, right before she passed out, that she thought something might be wrong with her. If that’s so...” He hesitated, not sure how to explain. “That mean I shouldn’t blame her?”
Seeing the genuine confusion in his eyes, Buffy felt her heart ache for him. She shook her head, firmly. “You’re not a bad person, honey. You have every right to blame her. She did a horrible thing, and...” She bit her lip. “You know, in a way, I do feel sorry for her. She can’t feel very good about herself, and maybe she should get some help to deal with... well, whatever it is she needs to be dealing with.”
William opened his mouth, but Buffy raised her hand to stop him. “Just hear me out. To me, it doesn’t really matter. She’s still responsible for her actions. And more importantly...” She looked him deep in the eyes. “She hurt you. And I can’t forgive her for that. Ever.”
His bottom lip was trembling and he managed a weak smile. “Not sure I’m worth the trouble, luv.”
She gave him a somewhat annoyed look. “Don’t ever say that again. You’re a good man, William. And I love you. I’m sorry you have to go through this. I’m sorry you’ll never know whether or not the baby Drusilla was carrying was really yours. And most of all, I’m sorry you had to get involved with her in the first place. Otherwise, none of this would’ve happened. If I...”
He cut her off before she could finish. “Don’t you dare blame yourself for this, you hear? Getting involved with Dru was my decision. I’m the one who screwed up, not you.” A pause. “And I love you, too. Don’t ever forget it.”
Before she got the chance to respond, Liam came rushing up behind them, looking wildly around the room. “Where is she? Is she all right?!”
William forced back a groan at the interruption, turning around to face the other man. “Doc says she’ll be fine. She’s asleep for now. You can see her tomorrow.”
Liam let out a sigh of relief. “Thank God!” He hesitated. “Thanks for calling me.”
Shrugging, William waved his hand in dismissal. “Forget it. Just thought you should know.”
The dark-haired man nodded. “Well, I appreciate it.” He hesitated for a moment. “If you guys wanna leave, I don’t mind hanging around here until morning.”
William frowned, glancing at Buffy before turning back to Liam. “You really do love her, don’t you?”
At first, he didn’t answer. Then he lowered his eyes, his face taking a dejected expression. “Love can be as painful as hate.” He raised his head. “I may love her, but I’m just a self-absorbed jerk. And Drusilla is...” He searched for the right word.
Buffy spoke up before William got the chance. “A crazy, self-centered bitch?” she suggested, helpfully.
Liam turned to look at her. At first, she expected him to yell at her for insulting Drusilla. But his face remained unreadable. Instead he just shrugged. “Quite a couple we make, huh?” For a moment, none of them spoke. Then Liam went on; “Doesn’t mean I’m giving up, though. That gotta mean something, right?” He got a hopeful look on his face, although it was obvious that he didn’t really expect an answer.
Buffy glanced at William, suddenly realizing how tired he looked. She couldn’t really blame him. It had been one long, not to mention crazy day. Forgetting all about Liam and Drusilla, she slipped her arm around his waist. “Wanna go home?”
He nodded gratefully, pulling her into his arms. Hugging her close for a moment, he then placed a soft kiss at the top of his head. “More than anything.”
TBC