~Six weeks later~
“Buffy, let me in! Buffy! It’s me, open up!”
Buffy closed her eyes for a moment, letting out a groan. Not again! It was the same thing every night. She checked her watch. Almost midnight.
"Buffy, I know you’re there! Come on, let me in! I just wanna talk!”
Sighing, Buffy slowly made her way over to the window and peeked outside, hiding behind the curtain so he wouldn’t spot her. She immediately saw him, standing down there on the lawn. He bent down to pick something up, and a moment later, she jumped as a small rock hit the window. Okay, enough was enough. Rolling her eyes, she jerked the window open. “Riley, what the hell are you doing?!”
His eyes lit up when he saw her. “Hey, sweetheart! I need to talk to you. Can I come up?”
“A world of ‘no’!” Buffy glared at him. “Riley, you have to stop doing this. You can’t come here every night, just standing outside my window and yell my name. There are other people living here, too, you know.”
Riley’s smile faded and he suddenly looked annoyed. “Well, if you’d just talk to me, I wouldn’t have to. Just let me in already.”
She silently counted to ten, praying that when she was done, he would have magically disappeared. Of course, she wasn’t that lucky. “There’s nothing to talk about, Riley. Seriously, what part of ‘it’s over’ didn’t you get?”
He snorted. “The part where you say it’s over. Come on, Buffy, you know you still love me!”
“No, Riley.” Buffy suddenly didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. A part of her actually felt sorry for him. But the whole situation was just so ridiculous. “I don’t love you.” She paused. “In fact, I don’t think I ever did.”
Silence.
Buffy bit her lip, waiting for some kind of reaction. Half expecting an outburst, she considered letting him in after all, just to spare the neighbors from this freak-show. That was when he burst out laughing. She frowned, wondering if she had finally driven him over the edge. She had expected screaming, pleading, possibly even tears. That, she was used to by now. But not this. “Okay, mind telling me what’s so funny?”
Riley quickly sobered up. “Sorry, honey. But you obviously don’t know what you’re saying. If you’d just come down...”
She just wanted to scream in frustration. No matter what she said, he just refused to take it in. Riley was still talking to her, arms waving in the air, but she had stopped listening. There was no point, anyway. Resisting the urge to shut the window with a slam, she closed it quietly and walked back to her bed, sitting down with a sigh.
When she had first ended things with Riley, she had expected him to mope for a little while and then move on. But it soon became painfully obvious that he wasn’t about to give up that easily. The first time he showed up – drunk – outside her dorm room calling out for her, she hadn’t given it much thought, just told him to leave. But he came back again the next night, and the night after that. That was almost a month ago.
Then she had moved out of the dorm and into a small apartment, certain that he would leave her alone after that. But no. It hadn’t taken Riley more than a week to find out where she lived, and Buffy realized he must have gotten her new address from one of her friends from school. She sure as hell hadn’t given it to him. At least he had not managed to get her new phone number; she had changed it as soon as she had come to the realization that he wasn’t about to let her go just like that.
Buffy had been going out with Riley for almost a year and their relationship had been quite serious, at least as far as he was concerned. She, on the other hand, had always felt like there was something missing. In all fairness to Riley, he was not a bad guy, and there had been moments when she had almost convinced herself that she could love him. Almost. But in the end, it just wasn’t enough. Riley wasn’t enough.
Then he had proposed to her, dropped to his knees and offered her a ring and everything, and she realized that she didn’t have a choice – she had to put an end to their relationship. Because no matter how nice and sweet Riley was, she couldn’t fool herself anymore. She just didn’t feel the same way about him, and staying with him wouldn’t be fair to either of them. A part of her wished she had been strong enough to walk away a long time ago. Maybe then, things would have been different now. Maybe then, she would have been happy.
Swallowing, she tried to hear if he was still out there. If he was, he had clearly given up trying to get her attention. Hopefully, that meant he had left. Although that thought was a relief, Buffy knew he would most likely be back again tomorrow. She wished he would just accept the fact that their relationship was over; then they could at least stay friends. After all, Riley had been a big part of her life for quite some time.
Suddenly she felt an almost desperate need to get away. It didn’t really matter where she would go; she just had to get out of the house. Because right now, anything would be better than staying there, thinking about what she had lost. All because of her own stupidity. Jumping up from the bed, she grabbed her jacket and quickly slipped through the door, out into the night.
“What do you mean, ‘you’re going out’?” Drusilla blocked his way, arms over her chest and a sulky expression on her face. “We have plans for tonight.”
“Oh, do we now?” William shook his head in exasperation. “You know, I happen to have plans of my own. Intend to get pissed. Alone. So just get out of my way.” He pushed her aside and headed for the door, but she grabbed his arm to stop him.
“Don’t you dare walk away from me!” Drusilla took a deep breath and then pouted, clearly deciding to change her tactics. “Come on, Spike, don’t be like this. Are you still mad about what happened before? I said I was sorry.” She managed to force a single tear to roll down her cheek.
He rolled his eyes. “I told you; don’t call me that. And you’re off you’re rocker if you think I’m just gonna forget about it. You slept with another guy, Dru. In our bloody bed!”
Drusilla let out an exaggerated sigh. “Yes, William, I did. Do you wish to know why?” She didn’t wait for him to respond before she went on; “Because I wanted to. Because I was horny and you weren’t here. Because I could. I have done it before and I will most likely do it again. Are you satisfied with that explanation, or do you want me to go on?”
William refused to let her see how much her cruel words actually hurt. He had become quite talented when it came to keeping his true feelings to himself. “M’out of here. Don’t wait up.” He turned to leave, but she tightened her grip around his arm, her long, dark red finger nails digging into his skin. Hissing in pain, he gave her a warning look. “Just sod off!”
She let out a giggle. “Oh, did I hurt your feelings now? Are you going to leave me? Well, think again!” A cold smile was playing on her lips, a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “You can’t leave, because you have nowhere else to go. Face it, Spike, you are nothing without me.”
He swallowed, knowing that she was right. Drusilla had entered his life at the point when he was certain he had hit rock bottom, taking him under her wings and turning him into the man he was today. She had gotten him to change the way he dressed, the way he talked, hell, she had even convinced him to bleach his hair and start wearing contacts instead of his glasses. He was a different person now, at least on the outside. It was just what he needed; to put everything that reminded him of his old life behind him. And he owed it all to Drusilla.
Of course, he didn’t love her. Or maybe in some odd way he did, at least he felt something for her, but he knew he wasn’t in love with her. His heart would always belong to someone else. When he had told Drusilla about it, she had just laughed. Told him that he was naive to think that such a thing as true love could ever exist. Love is nothing but a weakness, she said. He didn’t want to believe that, but deep down, he couldn’t help but wonder if she was right.
His heart still ached whenever he thought about Buffy. He had seen her around town a couple of times, but they hadn’t really spoken since his pathetic attempt of telling her how he truly felt about her. Truth to be told, he had pretty much avoided her after that. She had tried to talk to him a couple of times, but he had done his best to ignore her, too embarrassed to face her again. Not to mention that he still hadn’t managed to pick up the pieces of his broken heart since she told him about Riley’s proposal.
The expression on Buffy’s face when she first saw his new look was indescribable. He didn’t know why, but for some reason, he almost thought he saw pain in her eyes, like she had lost something. It didn’t make any sense, though; she would never see him as anything other than just a friend. Or at least that was how it used to be, he thought bitterly. Because now, they weren’t even that. The painful truth was that right now, he was nothing to her at all.
Drusilla was still talking – William had long since come to realize that she just loved hearing her own voice – but he had stopped listening. Jerking his arm away from her, he walked out of the door without looking back. He didn’t know where he was going, he just knew that he had to get away.
TBC