”William, wait!” Reluctantly pulling her head back a little, Buffy ignored his grunt of protest and put her hands on his shoulders. “This is... We can’t do this.”
He immediately let go of her, staring at her in disbelief as her words started to sink in. “What do you mean, ‘we can’t do this’? You’re the one who jumped me, remember?”
“Okay, that is so not...” Buffy stopped with a frown. “I did, didn’t I? Oh God, I’m a slut!” She quickly took a step back and wrapped her arms protectively around herself, her cheeks turning bright red.
Watching her move away from him, William felt like she had just punched him in the stomach. He quickly covered up, though, refusing to let his real emotions show, and gave her an accusing look. “Right. Mind telling me what bloody game you’re playing at here, pet?”
“Game? I’m not...” Her voice trailed off as realization hit her, and she took a hesitant step towards him. “William, it’s not that I don’t want to. But this is wrong. Don’t you see? You have a girlfriend.” To tell the truth, selfish as it may be, Buffy couldn’t care less about Drusilla’s feelings. But the mere thought of sharing him with anyone, let alone that cold hearted bitch, suddenly made her feel sick.
“Oh.” William was quiet for a moment, feeling like a right git. Truth to be told, he had almost forgotten about Dru. “Right.”
“Do you love her?” Buffy lowered her eyes, not wanting to look at his face when he answered.
He let out a sigh. “Look, it’s kinda complicated...”
“How is it complicated?” She looked up then. “Either you love someone, or you don’t.”
“I love you.” It was his turn to look away, thereby missing the look of complete awe on her face. “Told you once. Won’t just go away.”
Her heart was beating almost painfully hard in her chest. “And what about Dru? How do you feel about her?”
“I...” William hesitated, having no idea how to explain his relationship with Drusilla. But he realized that Buffy wasn’t about to let it go. And in all honesty, he couldn’t blame her. Suddenly he was terrified of saying the wrong thing and scare her away, this time for good. “What Dru and I have...” He swallowed. “...s’got nothing to do with love.”
Eyes widening in surprise, Buffy waited for him to go on. But he remained silent, keeping his eyes on the floor. She took yet another step closer. “Then why are you...?”
“S’a bloody joke, all right? My so called relationship.” William rolled his eyes, turning away from her and walking over to the railing. He was tired of pretending, tired of lying to himself. “Was never about love,” he muttered. A part of him couldn’t believe he was actually telling her this.
“I don’t get it.” Buffy’s voice was barely more than a whisper. “If you never loved her...”
“It’s safe, all right?” He sighed, looking down at the people below him. “I know Dru doesn’t care about me, so I don’t have to worry ‘bout hurting her. I go and pass the time... with someone. But that’s all it is, is time, ‘cause – God, help me, Buffy – it’s still all about you.”
Swallowing hard, Buffy walked up behind him, then stopped, a few feet away. She opened her mouth, then closed it again, wishing he would turn around and look at her. He didn’t. She took a deep breath. “Tell me you want me?”
“Does it matter what I want?” He sounded bitter.
Buffy bit her lip, finally moving to stand beside him. “It matters,” she mumbled.
William finally turned towards her, his face softening. “I’ll always want you, luv.” A pause. “Even if you’ll never feel the same way.”
She nodded, her bottom lip trembling. “What if I do?” He didn’t trust his voice enough to speak, so he just looked at her as he waited for her to go on, praying that it wasn’t just some sort of cruel joke. She managed a small smile. “I’ve missed you.”
Inhaling shakily, William nodded. “Missed you too, pet. You have no idea how much.” He cupped her cheek and looked her deep into the eyes. “No other girl could mean anything to me.”
“William, I...” Buffy brought her hand up to cover his. “I love you. I’m sorry it took me so long to see it.”
He could feel tears welling up in his eyes at her declaration, and – not wanting to come out as a complete nancy-boy – he did the only thing he could think of to distract her. He kissed her. If Buffy was taken by surprise, she didn’t let it show. Instead she just wrapped her arms around him, clinging to him almost desperately as she eagerly returned the kiss.
For a couple of minutes, it was just the two of them. Nothing else existed. Then, the world came crashing down again. Sighing, Buffy buried her face against his chest. “Hate to bring it up, but there’s still that little thing about...”
“Dru,” William finished with a grimace, tightening his grip around her as if he was afraid she would run away. “I know. I...” He sighed. “I’ll deal with it. I promise.”
Buffy pulled back a little, giving him a hopeful look. “When? Tonight?”
Hesitating for a moment, William cast a look at his watch. It was almost one in the morning. Judging by how Drusilla had reacted when he left her a few hours ago, he wasn’t sure it would be such a good idea to go back to her house tonight. Especially not since he intended on telling her that it was over. He didn’t doubt for a moment that she would be furious. Not because she loved him. No, she just couldn’t stand the idea of anyone standing up to her.
Then again, he really just wanted to get it over with. To tell the truth, he wasn’t very proud of himself. As a matter of fact, the more he thought about it, the more pathetic he felt. What kind of person would be with someone they didn’t really love, just to pass the time? Obviously, Dru wasn’t the only one who was selfish here. Thinking about it that way, he deserved her rage. He should just go back there and face her. It was the right thing to do, after all.
“Yeah.” He hugged her close, not wanting to let her go when he had finally gotten her back. “I’ll just go talk to her and be done with it.”
Buffy smiled in relief, hugging him back. “And then what?”
“Then I’ll...” William stopped, hesitating a little as he realized that – after breaking things off with Dru – he would most likely be out of a place to stay. “Mind if I crash at your place? Probably be hard to get a room at this hour.”
“No, I don’t mind.” Buffy leaned in to give him a soft peck on the lips. “Just as long as we both agree to take things slow, if you know what I mean?” She glanced at him, suddenly feeling nervous. “I mean, we obviously have a lot to talk about, before we... I don’t think I’m ready to...”
“Buffy...” William interrupted her. “Know what you mean, pet. Feel the same way. Don’t wanna screw things up by moving too fast, anymore than you do, so don’t worry about it. I’ll just sleep on the couch, if that’s okay with you.”
She opened her mouth to object, wanting to tell him that it wasn’t necessary, but then decided against it. Because she didn’t know about him, but she for one wasn’t sure she would be able to sleep in the same bed as him and keep her hands to herself. Sleeping in separate rooms sure would be safer, although she didn’t doubt for a second that it would be pure torture. Forcing a smile, she nodded. “Probably a good idea.”
His face was a mixture of relief and disappointment, but he quickly covered up. “Right.” He was silent for a moment. “Should probably get going, then.” The last thing he wanted to do at the moment was leaving her. But the sooner he would sort things out with Dru, the sooner he could get back to Buffy. And then, he would never leave her again.
“It’s for the best.” Buffy nodded in agreement. “You have to end things with her before we’ll go any further.” She paused, looking down at her feet. “No matter how much I love you, I will not be ‘the other woman’.” She rolled her eyes.
“Hey...” William put his hand on her cheek, forcing her to look at him. “You would never be ‘the other woman’. Don’t you get it by now? It was always about you. No one could ever compete with you, not even close. Not Dru, not anyone. You’re the one, Buffy.”
A tear rolled down her cheek. “We’ve wasted so much time...”
“Yeah, well, not anymore.” He smiled, gently brushing away the tear from her face. “It’s gonna be okay, luv. We’ll be okay. You’ll see.” He silently prayed that he was right.
“Yeah.” Buffy nodded, eagerly. She closed her eyes as he kept stroking her face, happily leaning into his touch. Things suddenly seemed a little too good to be true, but if this was a dream, she never wanted to wake up. They had both been miserable for so long, but now, finally, everything seemed to be just right. Finally they were together, and if she would have anything to say about it, nothing would ever come between them again.
TBC