“Well, I guess were all set then.” Said Dr. Kriegel, looking at a full dressed Joyce flanked by Buffy and Dawn on either side, and handing Buffy a piece of paper and three pill bottles.
“You’ve got my home phone number, pager number, and here, these are the medications I talked to you about. The sedative and so forth, painkillers.”
Buffy nodded her thanks. “Right. No problem.”
“Now, if this is gonna be too much for you, we can make your mom perfectly comfortable here.” Dr. Kriegel tried in one last dish effort to get Joyce to stay.
“No.” Buffy stated strongly. “No, no, I-I got this. We really, really appreciate-“
“You look just like your father when he cries.” Joyce said to Buffy, cutting her off with one of her slips.
Turning her attention back to the doctor, Buffy did her very best not to show how much her mother’s actions were starting to scare her. “I-I told you she’s been-“
Dr. Kriegel nodded his head in understanding. “I know. Joyce?” he called.
Joyce just continued to stare at Buffy in a daze.
“Joyce.” He calls again, getting her attention. “We’re all done here. Why don’t you take your girls home now.”
Joyce nodded, completely unaware of her slight episode. “Yes. Yes, thank you for all your help, doctor.”
Dr. Kriegel nodded. “I’ll see you tomorrow Joyce.” He said, walking out the door.
“Oh, let’s get the hell outta here.” Joyce said with a sigh, as all three of them made their way out of the room and out of the hospital.
Walking through the door of the Summers home, Buffy quickly put down Joyce’s bags and turned to watch Dawn helping Joyce through the door.
“Oh, it’s nice to be home.” Joyce sighed.
Closing the door behind the pair, Buffy flipped on the lights, but didn’t notice when Joyce winced and put her hand to her eyes.
“Buffy, no, that light is too bright. It’s too bright.”
Buffy rushed to turn off the light, as Dawn rubbed Joyce’s shoulders.
“Oh, okay, okay!” Buffy said hurriedly.
“It’s too bright. Buffy, it hurts. It hurts, it hurts my eyes.”
“It’s off, it’s off. You know what,” Buffy turned to Dawn, “Dawnie, why don’t you turn off the lights in the living room.” She then turned back to Joyce. “And I will take you upstairs and we’ll shut off all the lights up there. Okay? Come on.” Buffy said, leading Joyce upstairs as Dawn hurried into the living room to turn off all of the lights as asked.
After Buffy and Dawn had managed to get Joyce situated in her own bed, the two had gone back down stairs to watch some TV.
It wasn’t 20 minutes later that both girls were alerted by the sound of clinking dishes coming from the kitchen.
“Joyce?” Dawn called out, getting up off of the couch and leading her way into the darkened room with Buffy following.
As the girls entered the room they saw Joyce bent over with her head in the refrigerator, and could hear a sizzling noise coming from the stove.
“Oh, my-“ Buffy gasped, rushing over to the stove and turning it off, lifting the pan off of the burner and coughing as what she guessed was at one point some type of food.
Dawn stayed back and just watched as Buffy dealt with the problem. After everything that had happened at the hospital earlier, Dawn knew to be weary of Joyce’s sudden mood swings.
“Mom, wha-what are you doing?” Buffy asked, taking note of her mother’s annoyed look, and straight posture.
“I’m making breakfast.” Joyce snapped angrily before closing the fridge and looking Buffy up and down. “And you shouldn’t eat any more, you’re disgustingly fat.”
Buffy’s face turned down with hurt, while Joyce’s face contorted in confusion.
“Oh, Buffy, I don’t know what I’m doing.” Joyce said putting a hand to her head, and Buffy and Dawn moved forward to take Joyce’s arms and lead her out of the kitchen and back up the stairs.
“You just need some rest. We’ll put you back to bed.” Buffy said, supporting her mother as they made their way up the stairs.
Once in Joyce’s room, Buffy left Dawn to help Joyce into bed as she went to fetch the pill bottles and a glass of water from the washroom.
“Ok, here we go.” Buffy said, coming back into the room, handing her mom the pills then the glass of water. “That will help you sleep. Come on, let’s get you all tucked into bed.” Buffy offered, taking the glass away and placing it on the night stand.
After making sure that her mother was comfortable, Buffy moved away from the bed to pick up the bath robe that Joyce had carelessly dropped on the floor.
Leaving Dawn to sit on the edge of the bed, stroking Joyce’s hand in a comforting gesture.
Just as Buffy was about to leave the room, Joyce sat bolt upright in bed, and gasped in fear, looking straight at Dawn.
“Don’t touch me! You – you thing!” Joyce yelled, cowering back in the bed.
“Joyce, please!” Dawn cried, backing up and looking helplessly to Buffy.
“Get away from me!” Joyce yelled again, as Buffy came over to wrap her arms protectively around Dawn.
“You’re nothing, you’re, you’re a shadow!”
“Mom-“
“I don’t know what you are or how you got here!” Joyce continued to rant.
“Mom, its Dawn.” Buffy intervened, edging Dawn towards the door. “Dawn, hunny, why don’t you go to your room for a second while I put mom to bed?” Buffy suggested, ushering her out the door.
With a nod Dawn hurried down the hall and into the relative safety of her room.
“Dawn? Honey, what’s wrong?” Joyce called, coming back to herself just as Dawn left the room.
“She’s…just tired. We all are.” Buffy says, coaxing a worried Joyce to lie back down. “Come on, go to sleep. I’ll check in on you in a little bit.” She says, closing the door behind her as she leaves.
“Dawn?” Buffy calls, knocking softly as she opens the door to see Dawn sitting on the bed with teary eyes.
“She hates me.” Dawn whimpered, looking down at her lap.
“No.” Buffy whispers with conviction, coming to kneel beside the bed.
“She called me a thing.” Dawn’s lip quivered.
“She loves you. Ok? She’s not herself.” Buffy reassured her. “Remember, I told you she would have these little episodes. It’s not her, it’s the sickness, remember?”
Dawn nodded, whipping the tears from her eyes, as Buffy pulled herself up to sit beside her daughter on the bed, and wrapping an arm around her.
“She called me a thing, mom…”
“Dawn-“
“I know, she doesn’t know what she’s saying, but…she’s not the only one. When I was in the waiting room, they were wheeling in a man on a stretcher and he called me a thing too. And then there was the weird guy outside the magic shop; he said I didn’t belong. He said I wasn’t real. But I am real.” Dawn raised fearful eyes to Buffy. “You said I was. You said I was real, mom.”
“You are Dawn. You are just as real as me or Spike or Dru. You’re just, well, as Giles would say ‘more para, than normal.” Buffy smiled, stroking Dawn’s hair soothingly.
Dawn smiled slightly, and leaned fully into Buffy’s side.
“Is Joyce going to be ok, mom?” Dawn asked the same question from the other night.
With a soft, pained sigh, Buffy kissed Dawns head, and gave the same answer as before: “I don’t know Dawnie…I really don’t know.”
“I wish that someone had bothered to tell me that there would be tennis being played!” Joyce said angrily, laying on her back on the bed with her knees bent and her hands either side of her head. The blankets are shoved to the end of the bed.
“I just didn't know. Those eyes ... Those eyes, they're like gasoline puddles!” She yells, before lowering her voice to whisper, “Tell me. Tell me because I need to know why, why are you staring at me like that?”
In her room, Dawn lay on her bed, listening to Joyce’s rambling through the thin walls unwillingly.
“What are you asking me? You are asking me, aren't you? Is this a test? And if this counts for the final grade, I need to know now!” Dawn’s face contorted into a mixed expression of fear and sadness.
“Okay, there are teachers, and they put this on the syllabus, but they do not stare down at you, they do not cling, they do not look down on you....”
Finally, out of a frightened frustration, Dawn grabbed her pillow and pulled it over her ears, trying to blot out the sound of Joyce’s sobbed ramblings.
“You know there are people who are nice, and they give you presents, even when you are bad.”
Back in the kitchen, Buffy had decided to try taking her mind off of everything that was happening, and forcing herself to focus on the dishes that were lining the kitchen sink. Turning on the radio, Buffy made a feeble attempt to drown out the sound of Joyce’s delusional ramblings.
Biting her lip, Buffy put her best efforts into forcing herself not to cry. But it was only after a few dishes that the dam broke, and great heaping sobs wracked her tiny frame.
Even with the music playing, and being a floor up, Buffy could still hear Joyce’s ranting:
“Does someone know you're here? Because they should have told you that at the gate. You are ‘not’ supposed to be here. I need to rest now. I-I don't like the way you're staring at me!” A pause. “Did they tell you that at the gate?”
With another ragged sob, Buffy reached over to turn the volume up on the radio until, finally, nothing could be heard but the cheerful music, and Buffy’s tears.
“Stop staring at me, I don't like it!” Joyce yelled at the ceiling.
With a sudden squeal, the small cockroach like demon, that had been tormenting Joyce ever since Buffy and Dawn had left the room, dropped from the ceiling, making Joyce scream in terror.
Hearing the shriek, Dawn jumped up from her bed to race down the hall to Joyce’s room.
“Get off me!” Joyce managed to scream again, just before the slimy little demon crawled up into Joyce’s chest, spitting a suffocating slim on to her face.
Dawn opened the door just in time to see Joyce thrashing on the bed with the little creature on top of her.
With a gasp, Dawn moved into the room, grabbing the coat rack, shaking the clothes off of it, and attacking the creature that had turned its head to face her as soon as she had opened the door.
Rushing forward, Dawn managed to shove the demon off of the bed, and watched as Joyce pulled the now hard slim off of her face.
There is a slight lull as Joyce continued to gasp, sucking air into her lungs. Dawn ignored her, doing as her father had taught her and focusing all of her attention on the threat, and where it might be. Thanks to the small amount of training she received from both parents, Dawn was semi prepared for icky demon which launched its self at her from behind the bed.
Deciding on a quick plan of action, Dawn turned and ran down the hall and into her room, leading the demon away from Joyce. It wasn’t until Dawn reached her room that she realised that ‘to my room and away from Joyce’ was as far as her planning went. With fearful eyes, Dawn turned and ran back in to the hall, and in to the washroom.
“Buffy!!” Dawn screamed.
Unfortunately, the music, combined with the running of the tap, and Buffy’s tears, Dawn’s cries went unanswered.
Running through Buffy’s room, Dawn darted back into Joyce’s room to see her sitting up in bed, clawing at her face and gasping. Closing the door, Dawn pulled an exercise bike over to barricade the door. Rushing over to the opposite entrance, Dawn slams it shut.
Finally, taking a huge breath, Dawn reared back and used the lungs her mother had given her.
“MOM!”
Hearing her daughter’s yell Buffy dropped the towel she had been using to dry her face and spun, racing out of the kitchen, up the stairs and down the hall. With a gasp, Buffy opened the door to Joyce’s room to see Dawn and Joyce on the bed with Joyce still whipping slime off of her face.
“What? What is it?” Buffy breathed.
“There’s something out there, mom. It’s after Joyce!”
With a nod, Buffy moved slightly back from the door.
“Ok, you guys stay in here. Don’t leave this room.”
Just as Buffy closed the door, the gross little demon dropped from the ceiling to land on her face.
Struggling, Buffy tries to get a hold of it, unable to get a good grip, Buffy urged forward, slamming it into a wall, before slipping and tumbling down the stairs.
With a pained squeak, the little demon crawled away.
“I have really got to stop using the stairs as a weapon.” Buffy quipped, rubbing the back of her neck, looking around in confusion and starting to move slowly through the darkened house.
Going into the kitchen, Buffy grabbed the largest knife off of the knife rack, and spun, continuing her search.
With a sudden shriek the demon attacked Buffy from a darkened corner, lunging at her head again. Prepared this time for its attack, Buffy wielded the knife against her forearm with the tip pointing towards her elbow, and the sharp edge facing the demon. Bringing her arms up to protect her face, Buffy waited for the perfect moment before pushing her elbow forward and slicing the little creature diagonally across its chest. With a pained squeal, it fell to the ground, trying to crawl away. Seeing its escape attempt, Buffy quickly moved forward, stabbing it directly where she assumed the heart to be.
With a sigh, Buffy moved away from the body to make her way up the stairs and into Joyce’s room.
“It's gone. I killed it.” She said, moving into the room and sitting in between Joyce and Dawn on the bed.
“Oh god.” Joyce sighed with relief.
“It's gone? You promise?” Dawn whimpered, cuddling into Buffy’s arms.
“I promise.” Buffy said, putting her arms around both Dawn and Joyce as they hugged her, putting their heads on her shoulders. “Everything's all right. Everything's all right.” She whispered, soothingly.
The next day all available scoobies were at the hospital, there to support Buffy, and wish Joyce good luck.
As the nurses prepped Joyce for surgery, Buffy alone sat by her side. Joyce winced as the IV entered her arm, and both let out a sigh when the last nurse finally left.
“Buffy, uh,” Joyce cleared her throat. “I'm gonna ask you something, a-and if I'm, if I'm being crazy you just tell me, okay?”
Buffy nodded “You got it.”
“The other day ... well, actually, I'm, I'm not sure when, the days seem to all bleed together...”
“It's not important.” Buff reassured her.
“No, I guess it isn't. I do know I was ... pretty out of it, and I had ... not-not a dream ... exactly, more like I had this ... knowledge, i-it just came to me like ....truth, you know? Even though it didn't seem...possible, even though I shouldn't even think such things.” Joyce trailed off.
“What?”
“That Dawn...”
Buffy looked at her with interest.
“That Dawn... she really is yours, isn’t she?”
Buffy looked concerned that Joyce might be having another episode. “Mom, we talked about this already, remember? Dawn is my daughter, mine and Spike’s.”
“I know, I just…with all of the unexplainable things that seem to happen around you, I have to say…this one I am most proud of.” Joyce said with a peaceful, yet proud expression.
Tearing, Buffy nodded. “Me too. And yes, she really is mine.”
Joyce nodded, “And she's important. To the world. Precious.” Again Buffy nodded. “As precious as you are to me.”
Buffy managed to smile through the tears now making their way down her cheeks.
“Buffy, I need you to know…If anything happens, if I don't come through this-“
“Mom-“
“No, listen to me. I need you to know how proud of you I am. With all that’s happened, with everything you’ve done, you have turned into an incredible person. And no one could ever ask for a better daughter. I know that you and I haven’t always seen eye to eye when you were growing up. And for that I want to apologise-”
“Mom…” Buffy croaked with emotion.
“I’m sorry for all of the added stress and pressure that I put on you over the years. I’m sorry for not understanding, for not trying to understand. I’m sorry – I’m sorry that I didn’t listen to you. And, I’m sorry if you ever felt neglected or ignored.” Joyce purged with a sigh of relief, as though releasing a heavy burden. “I love you Buffy. And I want you to know. No matter what happens, I will always be here for you.” She said, running her hand down Buffy wet cheek, gently whipping the tears away.
“You are by far the one thing in my life that I am most proud of.”
Buffy allowed tears to fall, but refused to break down. She had to be strong. Later, after she dropped Dawn off at school, and the house was empty, Buffy would allow herself to cry, to release. To rest, just for a moment.
“I love you too mom.”
Joyce smiled, wrapping her arms around her little girl.
“My sweet brave Buffy. What would I do without you?” Joyce whispered into Buffy’s long soft hair.
With a sigh, Buffy and Joyce reluctantly pulled apart as a nurse entered.
Walking out the door and into the waiting room, Buffy looked at her friends.
Her family.
With more strength then she really felt, Buffy moved forward and into Giles’s open arms.
“It’s alright Buffy.” He whispered in her ear, holding her tight. “We’re here. All of us are here for you. You’re not alone. Everything will be fine.” He whispered reassuringly, ignoring the tightening pressure around his ribs.
With a shaky nod, Buffy moved back to give him a winsome smile before moving out of his embrace and over to Dawn.
Everyone was silent as Joyce was wheeled out on the gurney. With one arm up behind her head, Joyce smiled calmly and waved slightly as she was pulled backwards, watching her daughter and her family until the very last minute, keeping eye contact even as the surgery ward doors swung shut with a soft whoosh.
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