The thing about making a decision in life that no one really considers, is that wanting something and reaching for it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to get it right then, if ever. This particular truth was becoming more and more evident as the weeks progressed, and the only thing Buffy could do was bide her time.
She had a very busy college life that was almost regimental between classes, her internship and her friends. She had a little free time but none that seemed to coincide with the object of her desire’s daily routine. Their paths had yet to cross since Spike’s status changed from ‘off limits’ to ‘single’.
She had paid attention to Gunn’s ramblings enough that she knew Spike was doing fine, had his car, and pretty much kept to himself these days. But with a four day weekend coming up Buffy wanted better details.
Thankfully, Charles had slipped from the position of boyfriend material to friend almost seamlessly. They still could be found studying, though more often in the quad or in the caf and he’d come by for a few hours last Friday to watch Die Hard, Xander’s movie choice for the night.
Buffy tried to hint that she should see if Spike wanted to come over. After all he only lived a few minutes walk away from her house where the group had congregated.
“He’s doing a little plotting these days.” Gunn had chuckled.
Xander’s attention was drawn from the glowing embers of an explosion on the television screen. “Against his ex?”
Gunn outright laughed at that. “Hell no. He hasn’t even talked about her much. He had a friend, Annie I think was her name, check in on her. I guess she was trying to get Dru signed up for rehab placement or something. But she got picked up for possession, got herself thrown in the poky.” He shook his head at the way some people were willing to live for a synthetic high.
“Anyway,” He continued, trying not to linger on a situation he couldn’t do much about. “He’s been trying to figure out how to play Romeo to some new girl.”
The stone that suddenly embedded itself into Buffy’s throat had nothing on the boulder now weighing her down as it pressed southward in her stomach.
“New girl?” This was Willow, eyes darting towards Buffy, noting the pale skin of the blonde’s face. “What new girl?”
Oz didn’t have to look at Buffy to see she was completely thrown. He could imagine his reaction if Willow hadn’t wanted to be with him. But Willow and Xander both tried to sneak peaks at their friend. She was visibly shaken immediately. Both watched as she quickly tried to compose herself.
Soon there was a smile forming on her face, which made no sense considering her feelings for the peroxide blonde. They’d heard more than their fair share about Spike these last weeks so her reaction was a more than a bit strange.
“Like what?” Oz asked unexpectedly.
Gunn eyes the usually stoic man. “It’s hard to explain. If he were a woman I think I’d have to pull up some Psych 101 and say he’s nesting. He’s always busy and anytime I do see him there’s something different at his place.”
Ok, for a minute there, Buffy was able to fake that she had happy feeling for Spike moving on, heck she even forced a smile. But now she couldn’t even pretend not to be confused. “What’s that got to do with this girl?” She asked with a little anger seeping into the words. No one else seemed to notice though.
Gunn shrugged. “Don’t ask me. He’s not telling me anything. And the one time I asked he told me to, and I quote, “Shut your bloody gob or you’ll jinx the whole thing.” Unquote.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Xander asked, obviously incredulous.
“That’s what I said.” Gunn admitted.
That had been the end of that conversation. Obviously whatever floozy had caught her man’s attention had him acting oddly. She hadn’t seen him in nearly a month now and even Gunn said he was hiding out lately.
She stared out her window in the family room, just standing and thinking wearing shorts and one of her famous tent sized T-shirts. It was a pretty evening with stars dotting the sky in competition with the electricity of the streetlamps.
Now, even as she remembered the little that Gunn had shared last week, Buffy wanted to act. It was Friday once again, and thanks to the joys of institutionalized learning she had a house to herself while much of the student body went away to enjoy the first real freedom after midterms. There were more than a few empty dorms and homes in the city for the four day weekend.
Even Oz and Willow were gone, although they had opted for a trip to San Diego to visit some of Oz’s family. Xander was off on a retreat that would involve 3 conferences in 2 days and resting by the pool for another day in Honolulu.
He’d been saving for a year and had just barely scraped enough together to go. The advances in security for networks was the main topic. He was so excited when Buffy saw him Thursday after his last class that she though he might pee his paints.
Gunn was around. He wanted to go to some big bash but with his graduation approaching and a thesis still in need of researching for completion, there just wasn’t the option to leave.
And Spike…? As far as she knew he was staying in town. He was here, in her own neighborhood in fact.
She stared out the window into the stars before taking a few steps and walking to, then out the front door closing it behind her as she grabbed her key from the side table.
It was a nice night. A great night really. No need for a jacket, and yet cool enough that the lack of a breeze wasn’t noticed. She didn’t think of where she was going, there was no question to be answered there.
She didn’t think at all really, just focused on getting to his house, although she had no plan once there. The paved walk of the streets were uneven in a few places and in her haste she tripped a few times, stubbing her exposed toe in the sandals she’d barely had the mind to slip on. It stung for a moment but she was in determined-mode.
When she went around the final corner and down his street, she noticed the lights of his home were all off. No porch light and the lights of the front windows were dark as well. But his car was parked within his garage, door open with a very feint illumination sneaking out past the metal monster.
She kept walking along the opposite side of his street, peering around his car as she strode parallel to his home.
She didn’t see him, but she could hear a muttering and the clang of metal tapping metal. Although the wide frame of his Desoto took up most of the single car garage she could make out his shadow against the walls. The back of the structure was more brightly lit from what seemed to be a single bulb encompassed by a thick wired frame all attached to a thin cord mounted on the ceiling.
A wave of nostalgia hit her as she remembered Hank, her father, had something like that when she was a kid. She had always thought it was so cool, how the wire would wind itself inside a case next to the garage door opener.
She was smiling lightly when she heard her name being called. She looked back into the garage to see Spike wiping his hands with a grease covered towel. “Buffy? What you doing standin’ there?” His voice was surprised but he smiled back at her.
She was stuck. It couldn’t be helped as she stared at him. A white wife beater splotched with dark marks that matched the smears on his arms and the one across a cheek revealed way too much primely muscled Spike for her at once.
Not only was his shirt clinging to his sweaty skin but it was riding up his front to allow a peak at his stomach and the belly button that lay atop a light line of hair disappearing beneath grey sweats that hung low on his hips. All in all he was a mess, and just about the most amazing thing she’d ever seen.
She tried to swallow past her now dry throat, the feeling all too familiar. It seemed that, with her new way of looking at things, her body had gone back to its initial responses to this man.
“Holy cripes.” The breathy whisper barely audible.
Spike took a few steps further down the drive. “Sorry pet. Can’t hear ya.” He turned for a split second and tossed the towel onto the ground near his open toolbox next to the back tire.
She watched the movement then shook and shivered as a blaze of heat went up her spine and back down to settle in her womb.
Get a hold of yourself.
He called back to her. “Come on over here Buffy, no sense yellin in the street.”
She nodded automatically. He could have asked her to bark like a dog and she would have started yelping quick as she could.
A smile on her face, she walked over to him only to be assaulted by the strong masculine scent of work and sweat. And god help her, he smelled even better than she remembered.
He walked back towards the garage and opened the passenger door leaving her on his driveway to try and figure out what to do now that she was seeing him. After all, this was what she’d been waiting for. Talking to him, seeing him, stealthily convincing him to love her for now and all time.
You know, a very simple plan.
He came back out still smiling, a cigarette between his lips and she just stared at him before asking with unshielded disgust. “You smoke?”
And the smile left for an instant before he took a drag and blew the smoke into the air. Without prompt she watched the grey white swirls lay against the royal blue of the sky and disappear up and out into the atmosphere.
True, it was terrible and a nasty habit not to mention, not exactly good for the environment or anyone’s health but when she looked back at him to see his lips wrapped tightly around the filter and his cheeks hollowing as he took another full drag, she could find it’s appeal. At least for watching.
“Not usually,” Spike told her as he studied her eyes letting out another steady stream of ghostly gray. “But occasionally the mood hits me.”
Something in his voice made her smile, but this time a more comfortable smile. There was a quality in his words that rang of their old short conversations in the Desoto coming back from Comm 101. “Like when you’re making a mess of your engine? Didn’t you do enough damage to it with the accident?”
He was indignant. “Not making a mess of her. Just switchin out the spark plugs. All that bloody work and the shop doesn’t change the plugs.” He finished a little angry.
“Pfft. Even I can change spark plugs.” She added with a laugh as she looked him over again. She really liked to just look at him, and on any other day it might have stopped there but there was still that playful side of her that had to wonder about one small detail. “If you’re just changing the plugs why are you all, well, no offence but I think if we rung out that shirt we could clear a pint of oil easy.”
He looked down at himself and had to agree. In a swift motion he pulled the wife beater over his head and threw it on top of the towel in the garage. “Yeah, had a bit of a problem when the tools toppled into the engine. My own bloody fault for putting them up on the battery.”
*System Failure*
HIS. SHIRT. IS. OFF.
*The shut down process will now begin.*
“You didn’t tell me though, what brings you to my neck of the suburbs?” Spike asked her as he noted her licking her lips. She had this sort of ‘not there’ look on her face. He took another drag of his cigarette. Maybe he’d said something wrong, and he really didn’t want to say the wrong thing now that she was here.
*After power down you may reboot.*
“Not that it’s not a nice night for a stroll, and you’re perfectly welcome to come by anytime.” He smiled what he hoped was a polite, inviting smile. The plan was simple. Get closer to Buffy. Be her friend. Then politely wait until she and Xander stopped seeing each other.
Buffy suddenly realized Spike was talking, and she was expected to respond. Her gaze drifted over his torso one more time when Spike motioned at the sky and describing a ‘nice night for a stroll’.
*The system will now reboot.*
His scarred eyebrow went up and his tone suddenly changed. “Hey, how’d you know ‘bout the accident?”
*F8*F8*F2*F2*F6*F6*
*Anything!! Just don’t continue with the current application!!!*
He stood still now, really waiting for an answer and staring right at her. One small kink she still couldn’t predict the outcome of was the Gunn-knows-Spike factor. She didn’t want there to be a problem but she wasn’t sure who to talk to about it. Spike or Gunn? Neither had been her first choice, so she went with choice number three. She’d hoped to avoid the whole thing for as long as possible.
Avoiding didn’t seem to be working out for her lately, she realized.
Buffy hesitated another second before starting. “Gunn, I know Gunn.” She said in a scattered tone.
“You do? Huh, small world.” He brushed it off so quickly that Buffy didn’t even realize she was home free if she just kept her mouth shut.
“We only dated a few weeks, but now we’re good friends.” Even as she heard her words she realized two things. God that was so ‘after school special’ sounding, quickly followed by ‘me and my big mouth’.
Mid drag on the last of his cigarette Spike started coughing. “You-” choke, cough. “You dated him?”
Yup, big gigantic huge-mungous mouth of mine. Thank you. I appreciate all the help. Maybe later we can call Dawn and tell her Fluffy never got sent to a farm to help Mr. McDonald with his mice. Nope, he was run over by the ice cream truck. Stupid cat.
She fidgeted, tugging on her fingers but tried to keep her voice normal. “Yeah. He’s a really great guy.” She shrugged. “Just didn’t work out is all. And like I said, I got a friend out of it so its not like it’s a sad ending or anything.”
“This a few weeks back?” He had to ask. It was the first thing that popped into his head.
She just nodded.
“I see.” He wasn’t sure what to say. Either Xander was very open minded about the girl, or they weren’t dating. That was good news, right?
Well, almost good news. Now there was just one other complication He’d had a whole plan and everything, but how could he chase after her now. Gunn’s ex? You just didn’t do that. It was one of those unspoken rules. No dating your best mate’s exes.
“I need to finish up.” He suddenly said motioning to the car still with its hood up and the light shining from underneath. He tossed the last of his smoke into a rusty coffee can she hadn’t noticed by the opening of the garage.
She followed his hand and nodded again, this time a little defeat marring the movement. “Alright.”
“Shouldn’t take a tick. If you haven’t got any other pressing plans, you want to come in and maybe watch a movie or something? ‘Fraid all I have is beer, milk, and water to offer but seems you and I are just about the only ones left in this burg for the next few days, wouldn’t be right not to entertain each other.”
He was lightheaded by the end of his invitation but he’d said it. Granted, he said it all in one breath afraid to pause long enough for her to turn him down, but he’d gotten it all out. After all, he’d decided it was time to break a few rules. And right now Gunn wasn’t foremost on his mind.
“Oh.” Her eyes were wide and she stared back at the dark windows of his home. A sudden chill ran through her and she knew she was going to accept. “What kind of movie? Cuz I’m not so sure I’m up for any blow ‘em up thrillers tonight.”
Now feeling confident she was on her way to agreeing, he walked back into his garage and towards the hood glad to hear her sandals clapping against the cement as she followed. “Maybe a comedy then? I’ve got a wide selection.” he said as he lifted the hood, freeing it from the long rod that had held it ajar.
She watched the play of muscles under his skin as he walked and moved, reached and twisted while putting everything he’d been using in his mechanics back in its place. She wanted to groan when he bent to retrieve the grease covered remains of his shirt and the towel. The fleshy globes of his buttocks peeking out from the back of his sweats and the sight was quickly acting as a magnet to her fingers now desperate to touch him.
Her voice croaked out the first few syllables before it smoothed out when she made a plea disguised as a suggestion. “How about I pick out some viewing possibilities while you clean up?”
“Fair enough.” He said as he lead her past his car to the door that would take them from the garage into his home. He pressed the glowing red button of the mounted garage door opener on the wall before going inside and holding the door, watching Buffy cross the threshold. There was a soft click as he switched the lights on.
What she saw wasn’t really what she had expected. Not from what she knew of the guy. As she walked through the kitchen she was surprised to see a glass topped wrought iron based kitchenette. Atop it was a bundle of what she assumed where fo-flowers with beautiful shades of purple and reds shooting out from the black vase.
The white tile shone and set off the black faces of the cabinet’s. It was elegant, and sophisticated.
She tried to remain impassive. It wouldn’t help if she told him she was shocked he lived in such a well put together home. For as she looked forward she saw the living room, which was equally well decorated.
The high backed sectional with black smooth fabric covering well stuffed cushions only asked to be lounged on. Just in front there was a coffee table with a glass top to match the kitchenette and iron legs again. Underneath sat familiar plastic boxes and wires of gaming systems.
Spike shut the door behind her and walked in the family room and out of her vision when he went around the corner. “Make yourself comfortable. The movies are in the cabinet by the telly.” He called out.
She walked with measured paces further into his home to be shocked again at the wall of entertainment devices lining the wall.
“Oh my god.” She whispered when the 62” flat screen came into sight along with the shelves of stereo equipment. She let her fingers run along each one. A receiver for what looked to be 7.1 surround sound. Her deduction was confirmed when she took a better look at the walls to see several mounted speakers and the bass amp tucked beside a closed cabinet just along the same wall as the TV.
Spike could see her from his spot in the hall. She was engrossed in the technology, most of which was so up to date that the average consumer wouldn’t consider buying it just yet. But it fascinated her, and that had been part of the point. Of course he also liked the toys, and now he didn’t feel at all bad for splurging, just this once.
But he had to hurry. With clothes in hand he ducked into the room behind him so he could shower.
Buffy’s fascination for all things electronic faltered when the sound of running water sounded from the bathroom. The imaginary visions of a wet, soapy Spike cleaning up made her question the notion of being in his home. Was she really going to be able to stop herself from making a fool of herself or accidentally straddling him in the middle of the show?
“Oh come on Summers, so far you aren’t breaking down the door to the shower.” Which she thought was pretty darn impressive. Either that or downright stupid, because after all just feet away was a wet soapy Spike.
With that in mind she turned her attention to the cabinet she assumed had the movies. The handle made a popping sound as the latched released on the wooden frame and the door swung open. Within were 7 shelves each filled to maximum capacity. “How many DVD’s does he have in here?” She asked the empty room.
To say he had a large number would do no justice to the collection and as she read over the titles she realized he hadn’t been exaggerating. There were historical time period themes next to horror mixed within teen movies and romances and action films. She kept looking over the range of choices, trying to decide on some of the comedic titles scattered throughout.
All the time she was too aware of the water being shut off and the sound of shower curtain rings clanking together as the curtain was opened and closed. She couldn’t help playing out the actions he would be taking in her head.
She could feel her face flame as the images came to her unbidden. Still, she grabbed some movies with titles that seemed familiar. She shuffled them in her hands and sat herself on one end of the plush couch just in time to hear the door in the hallway open before she heard Spike’s bare feet against the hallway’s carpeted floor.
When he walked into the room he wore his more traditional black jeans and a clean black T-shirt with his hair slicked back which relaxed Buffy a little bit. This Spike she could deal with much more easily. This one was more familiar.
He veered into the kitchen and opened the fridge. “Anything to drink for ya?”
“Maybe just some water.” She said, not really wanting beer.
There were a few moments of silence as he grabbed a glass from one of the cabinets and turned on the tap to fill it. He walked back and fell into the middle of the couch after setting the drinks on the table.
He glanced at her hands gripping the stack of DVD cases.
“Let’s see what you picked out.” Spike took the pile from her and perused her choices. There were an array of faces he pulled when he read through her selections. “You sure about this one?” He asked as he held up Waterworld. “Most people don’t fancy it. Isn’t it that one where Costner spent millions and didn’t make hardly anything off it?”
“I think he actually made nothing off of it. I might be wrong, but I don’t think he made enough to break even on the whole thing.” She said trying to remember. “But I always liked it. Just the idea of the earth becoming one big ball of water. Well, almost.” She corrected herself and shrugged. “The story isn’t that great I guess but I still liked the concept for it.” She finished and sat forward to grab her water. She really needed a good gulp right now.
Hell, now he wanted to watch it as well, so he set on the table and pulled put another curious choice. “And this?”
She blushed a little and took another quick sip before grinning, a little at herself this time. “What, Bram Stoker’s Dracula?” She cleared her throat. “I like vampire movies.” Her tone was a little defensive but she smiled.
All the while he seemed to be trying very hard not to laugh. He shook his head a little. “Alright. Drac’s in then.” And he set the case next to Waterworld.
He glanced again at the remaining titles and nearly choked at one of her choices. Instead of asking her about that film he decided to find out her thoughts on The Net first. “You a big Sandra Bullock fan then?”
She glared at him. “No, I’m a cyber geek. It’s all about this cyber girl and how her whole identity is messed with by some big bad guys. It’s good.” She said, eyes serious.
“Supposed I’ll have to give you that one. Birds of a feather and all that.” And he added that to the other two cases on the table.
He still had the last of her choices in his hands, but he was fairly sure she wasn’t aware of her selection’s title. The problem was, he wasn’t so sure he wanted her to realize he had it either. Granted, most of his DVD cabinet was filled with movies he’d just grabbed on his recent shopping spree, but this one he’d had for awhile now. As he deliberated how to ask her how she’d come up with the final choice he reached for his drink, taking a swig to prepare.
“Well I did grab one that’s a total guy movie.” She said as she eyed the small pile on the coffee table. Thankfully her haste to grab the familiar had produced and eclectic array of choices.
So when he took a drink and promptly started choking yet again in a surprised guttural cough she couldn’t imagine what the problem was.
He gasped for air, the beer having gone down the wrong pipe in an embarrassing attempt to hide his shock at her words. He leaned forward and out of habit she immediately thumped his back a couple of times, her palm coming down just between his shoulder blades as she tried to help him compose himself.
“Are you ok?” She asked worriedly.
A few more small gasps and another attempt to clear his throat later, he finally was able to look her in the eyes. “’S just, not sure you’re up for this one.” He said handing her the case for the movie in question.
“I know it’s a war movie, but a good one.” she said matter of factly as she took the case from his hands. “Besides,” She continued now flipping the case over and reading the title. “Saving Ryan’s Privates?!?!” She dropped the case as though it was on fire. “Ok, THAT is not what I thought I picked.” She said very clearly pointing at the offending object now lying on the floor.
When he caught up with what mistake she’d made he had no other option. He gave her a half smile and raised an eyebrow. “So, not really in a porn mood then?”
Looking at him made that question so unfair, because just being around him put her in a porno kind of mood. She shook her head though, mostly to clear it but also to convince him that watching other people satisfying each other wasn’t what she had in mind. “No. No porn tonight, thanks.” She said even though her face flamed red and she could feel her own palms sweating.
A short nod came. “Right then.” He still smiled at the attractive blush that reached past her cheeks and down her neck to hide under the collar of her T. “Waterworld it is.” He declared as he leaned down to retrieve the fallen case.
“Jeezus, girl! What did you do to yourself?”
Buffy looked down at what had caught Spike’s attention to her exposed toes. She remembered scraping them tripping earlier but it hadn’t seemed to be bad. As she stared at the bit of blood crusted at the tip of her big toe, which was an interesting hue of blue, she realized that what felt minor looked terrible. “Oh, eww. That’s embarrassing.”
“Hardly. But I think you’re due a little cleanup yourself.” He announced as he stood and left the room turning towards the bathroom again. “I’ve got some bandages and antiseptic here, someplace.”
There was opening and closing of a drawer and what sounded like the medicine cabinet before she heard him heading back . “Here we go.” He came in with a box of bandages and a brown bottle of what she assumed was hydrogen peroxide along with some cotton. “Should be able to mend you with these.” And set them in a row on the table beside the movies.
“It’s really not that bad, Spike. It just looks, well, gross actually.”
A light chuckle sounded from him as he leaned down and she slipped the sandal from her foot. She immediately crossed her ankle over her knee and took a closer look. The tip of her nail had been bent back, tearing away from the skin.
“Hand it over.” He said crouched beside her now holding a fluff of cotton wet from the peroxide.
She scrunched up her face, attraction momentarily taking a second seat to preparation as she anticipated the sting of the antiseptic. She could feel the light grip of his fingers steadying the heel of her tiny foot just before the cool pressure of cleansing came. She winced slightly and pulled in a breath as the tiny bubbling and cool heat started to tingle around her abused toe.
“It’s not all that bad. Don’t be a baby.” He was grinning at her reaction. She was like a child suddenly, sitting here in front of him. Worn jean cut offs and a well used shirt hanging off her shoulders 2 sizes too big. Hair a little mussed and body scraped as if from playing.
She was endearing. And when her face relaxed to smile at his teasing, there was nothing more in this world he wanted then to be able to kiss her.
It was in his eyes. A look all too familiar to her. One she recalled seeing in the eyes of her clone in the looking glass of her bathroom. The same look she had just before she decided those restrictions she’d put in her head were moot.
That look she got when she finally admitted to herself exactly how much she wanted a chance, just a taste, one small break allowing her to see if anything could happen between them. That look was there staring back once more, but now from liquid azure so deep she knew she could drown in their seas.
His fingers crept slowly from her foot to cradle her calf while his Adam’s Apple bobbed as he tried to swallow his fear. If he didn’t take his shot now, then when?
She could see it coming, his light touch along her skin and the darting of his tongue so quick she might have missed it if there were any way for her to pull her gaze from him. But that was impossible. And when he began to lean forward she could only mimic him in wanting something she’d been waiting a year for.
There was a light knocking at the door before it swung open. “Hey Spike, I was going to go on a food run and wondered-” Gunn came into the door, not seeing the pair at first. But when he turned towards the couch, there they were.
“Buffy? Spike?” He studied their positions. Spike still held Buffy’s calf in his hand as he turned towards the voice of his friend. “What’s going on?”
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Well, it seemed like there was a low vote on having the blondes screw it up, so I promise.. well... I'll tell ya after.
Chapter End Notes:
I promise it wasn't the blondes. LoL Bad Gunn!! Everyone line up for the spanking machine. Gunn, better start crawling through.