Buffy returned home after an evening of work that had felt much longer than it actually was. She found Lucky curled up where she had left him as she ventured into the kitchen to make sure his dish was filled.
While at work, the boss had offered her a cheeseburger just as she was closing up. He had explained it was to be thrown away anyway and she had gratefully accepted it thinking it meant less money to be spent on food. Just as she was leaving, she had helped herself to a soda as well so she was now quite satisfied.
Wearily, she took off her boots to let her feet relax and plopped them up on the table as the cat prowled over to sit on her lap. Whether it was fatigue or just that her emotions were still so close to the surface, Buffy’s thoughts drifted back over the events of the last several days. She looked down at Lucky, stroking his head and started to speak aloud, “Lucky, I’m the Slayer. You know what a slayer does? Of course not, most of the world has no idea what I do. Well, I slay vampires and demons. I’m supposed to save the world and protect people, but instead people die because of me. How is that saving the world, Lucky?”
Lucky continued to purr in her lap giving no response to anything Buffy was saying but she wasn’t discouraged and continued, “I’m even nervous about keeping this job. I lied to the boss and told him name is Anne. Well it’s not a total fib, but my middle name is not who I am. The thing is, I just can’t deal with being Buffy right now. She’s the Vampire Slayer and I don’t want to be that anymore. I want to be done. I want to retire and live a normal life. Why can’t I just be normal? If I were, I wouldn’t be responsible for Merrik’s death, and Kendra and Jenny would still be alive. Maybe if I’m just Anne who works at a diner I won’t be dangerous to people anymore."
Buffy sighed, refusing to think on it anymore and not wanting to even touch the subject of Angel so she flipped on the television. Finding some old show that her mother used to watch, Buffy determined not to cry again. She was Anne now, not Buffy, Anne who lives in a house with her cat and works in a diner in L.A. This was her new life damn it and she was going to live it. No more slaying for this girl. She felt a little comfort with that statement as she curled up grabbing the blanket. Buffy rested her head on the back of the couch to watch the television until she fell asleep.
Spike awoke disoriented and a little panicky at finding himself in the mansion. He breathed a deep sigh of relief at realizing he was still able to walk and not back in the days of Angelus and Dru shagging virtually in his face. He dressed, vamp senses conveying it was indeed nighttime already and he would have hours to find Dru and make her love him again. Hopefully by sunrise he would be fucking her silly and he would have the unlife he wanted. He checked all their old haunts but couldn’t get a trace, so he headed over to Willie’s. Ordering a Jack and a nice glass of warm O Neg, Spike chatted up the locals to see if they had heard anything of Dru. Luckily, Willie had gotten word and with a little persuasion and a spot of violence, he finally spilled the news. Dru had arrived in town just last night with a Chaos demon and they’d raised Hell with the Slayer no longer around. At that point, Spike grabbed Willie by the front of his shirt and roared, “She’s gone?! Is she dead? How did she die?” Buffy was HIS slayer to kill, dammit!
Willie shrugged his shoulders carelessly, and no one else in the bar seemed to know anything. Dropping the bartender, Spike knocked back his drink and made off to hunt for Dru, “It’s high time my Dark Princess came home to her Spike.”
He spent almost 2 hours searching for Dru to finally locate her. She was unliving with a nest of vampires and the dripping-antlered Chaos Demon in an abandoned warehouse by the docks. Spike was tempted to just stake everyone in the place and pull the limbs off the Demon at the way Dru was cooing over him and completely ignored Spike’s pleas to come away with him.
Feeling his entire world collapsing around him, Spike finally understood; Dru had well and truly moved on to other things. She had about 20 vamps (two of whom had clearly been created as sex slaves), a new demon to fuck and 100+ years of his love and devotion meant fuck-all to her. In spite of the intense pain, he still didn’t want her dusted, so he advised her, “Dru, get out of town. Promised the Slayer we wouldn’t come back here and if you know what’s good for you, you’ll disappear.”
For the first time in the 20 minutes Spike had been standing there, Dru looked his way and sing-songed, “We are going to dance in the rainforests with the monkeys. You will not eat cakes with us in the dark anymore.” Then she turned to her doll and instructed her, “Miss Edith, say goodbye to Spike, we won’t be having tea parties with him anymore. He will be walking with the sunshine soon.”
Spike twisted the head of the vampire nearest him and just as he was about to dust another one, Dru turned to him again. Dancing gracefully in her white dress, she continued, “My Dark Prince is not mine anymore. He will belong to the Sunshine. My devoted Black Knight must now leave me and find his rightful place with the Sunshine. You should have never left the sunshine my love…” She laid her hand against his cheek and he could feel the chill from just that gesture. He had once thought love would always keep them together but now he understood they would never have that again. Sadly he watched as she continued her ranting, “Go back to your sunshine Spike.” As Spike looked on confused, Drusilla spoke again gently, “Go find your slayer. She needs you as much as you need her.” She smiled sadly as Spike studied her dark eyes, “You no longer need your dark goddess. Goodbye my love.” And with that, she gave him a gentle kiss and turned back to sit on her demon’s knee leaving Spike with no choice and no hope. Heartbroken, he turned and left.
Brushing off the dust from a random vamp he’d staked while wandering aimlessly, Spike looked up and found himself at the Slayer’s mum’s house. Seeing a light back in the kitchen, he knocked on the front door. He heard her call, “Just a moment!” as she proceeded towards the door.
Then the door opened and Joyce stood holding her robe closed as she said in a quiet voice, “Is Buffy with you?” Spike shook his head and she surprised him by saying, “We never properly met. You and Buffy were busy at the time. I’m Joyce. I was just about to make some hot cocoa, would you like to come in and join me?”
Gobsmacked, Spike followed Joyce into the house and before he knew it he was pouring out his heart. “Why did I come back here? Or why didn’t I just knock Dru out and take her with me when I found her again?”
Gently, Joyce pointed out, “What would be the point if you have to keep her knocked out forever.”
Ruefully, Spike acknowledged, “She made it clear she didn’t want me anymore.” At Joyce’s sympathetic expression, he continued, “But why was she going on and on about sunshine? What the hell does that mean? Don’t plan to be taking any daylight strolls any time soon! Not ready to dust yet, even without Dru. Dru’s off her rocker, she is…” As he trailed off, Spike realized Joyce had gone quiet. He remembered Dru’s comment about Buffy needing him. “Have you heard from Buffy at all?” he inquired.
She shook her head saying, “Wait here,” and she left Spike alone with his cocoa.
It finally brought home how kind and trusting Joyce really was. She’d invited Spike into her house, knowing what he was, and comforted him with hot chocolate and conversation. She had no idea what horrors existed in the world around her. In that instant, Spike decided she would forever be under his protection and before he left tonight, he would warn her never to invite anyone else into the house. Last thing this lady needed was to show that courtesy to Darla or Angelus.
Spike was suddenly angry at how Buffy had put her mum at risk. The lady knew nothing and was a victim waiting to happen. He sighed as Joyce came downstairs and handed Spike a letter. It read:
Dear Mom,
I’m sorry for everything I put you through. I ruin everyone’s life and I’m a hazard to be around. I’m supposed to be the chosen one but all I do is bring pain to people I care about. I have to go away for a while. I’ll be back someday I’m sure. I really do love you mom. Take care of yourself.
Love, Buffy
PS: Please don’t invite anyone in.
Spike handed the letter back to Joyce and said, “Mind what Buffy said, Mum, about the not inviting people in. Other vamps aren’t as nice as me.” Horrified at what he’d just admitted, he backpedaled, “I’m not nice! I’m evil!” Joyce hid a smile at that. “But I like you, would never hurt you. I’m William, by the way.” Astounded, he realized he meant all of it. He had always had a soft spot in his heart for his mum and Joyce reminded him of her. He felt a gentle pull on his heart that he hadn’t felt in a long time.
Spike suddenly recognized he truly wanted to help this woman so he asked, “Want me to see if I can find Buffy?”
Joyce stared at him and said with a pleading voice, “Would you?”
Spike nodded, “I’ll do my best. Thanks for the cuppa, Mum.”
Smiling kindly, she replied, “Anytime William. Anytime.”