Buffy and Kim were still watching the movie when Lucky got up off the couch and hissed at the door. Buffy noticed her neck started tingling, the same way it tingles when a master vampire is in the area. This tingling felt familiar but she shook her head thinking it couldn’t be. Just then she heard a familiar roar at the door and she grabbed Lucky and Kim followed behind her as she saw the blonde-haired vampire at her door roaring her name. She stood in shock thinking, ‘How did he find me and more importantly why is he here?’
Even with those questions pulsing through her head, she could only whisper a soft, “Spike?”
Kim looked at Buffy in confusion, “You know this guy?”
Buffy shook her head as she corrected Kim, “No, I know this vampire.”
She then turned towards Spike and putting her free hand on her hip as the other hand still held on to Lucky. Her mind was feeling clearer and she was now able to refocus her thoughts again. The shock had disappeared and all that was left in its place was anger. Buffy demanded, “Why are you here?”
Spike tried to look braver than he felt declaring, “I’m here to help you.”
Buffy rolled her eyes as her annoyance showed. She didn’t expect to see him again and really wasn’t in the mood to deal with him or really anyone. Yet she was here in her house with two visitors all in the same night. She turned away from the door still hugging Lucky, determined not to look at Spike as she waved her free hand towards the door behind her, “I don’t want help. Go away! Why can’t people just leave me alone?”
Spike hit his hand against the barrier and roared, “Bloody hell, Summers. I’ve come so far, at least let me in.”
Buffy looked at Kim who just shrugged obviously not knowing the danger of letting a vampire into your home but at this point, Buffy didn’t care. If Spike had come this far to kill her, he deserved the fight and honestly, she was tired of running from everything in her life. She was so tired of trying so hard to escape. She didn’t even glance back as she responded tiredly, “Come in, Spike.”
Spike stepped over the barrier and followed her as she walked back into the living room. He looked around in surprise, “You are living in this dump? It looks like a condemned building, Buffy. You could do much better. Think of your house in Sunnyhell. Your mum did well and it’s great. Aren’t you missing it?”
Buffy stared at Spike in disbelief as she put Lucky down to put her hands on her hips, “If you are planning to take me home, you have come for nothing. I don’t plan to ever go home. You might as well leave now.”
Spike decided a new approach was in order. This wasn’t going to end well if he kept this up and he really had searched long and hard for her. Sure the girl wasn’t going to go home just yet but he was sure some kind of good could come out of this. He let out a deep breath trying to calm himself as he ran his fingers through his hair. He then tried to catch her eye but gave up as he stated in as collected voice, “I’m not here to bring you home or anywhere else. We both lost our loves.”
Buffy looked up at his statement and took a good look at him and saw he was as broken as she felt but shook her head, “I don’t want to talk about that. You are welcome to stay tonight as long as you promise to keep your fangs to yourself including Lucky. If you even take so much of a lick, I’ll stake you so fast you won’t even be able to swallow it. Understand?” At Spike’s nod she continued, “I’m giving Kim the only other room I cleaned upstairs. I sleep on the couch. You are welcome to take the floor or you can leave.”
Spike nodded deciding not to fight with her with sunlight coming in a few hours. He was getting what he came for. He came to see the Slayer and see if she was alive and well and she seemed alive but he would hardly call her well. She seemed bitter and angry. She was even more angry than when he had seen her fighting against him. He hadn’t believed that was possible until he saw her now. She had a major chip on her shoulder but he could understand why. He wasn’t feeling all that great either knowing Dru had left him for a bloody chaos demon. What could a demon with dripping antlers give to a girl anyway? ‘Course Buffy had to kill hers or be killed so he wasn’t sure which was worse.
Buffy disappeared from his sight choosing to give him the benefit of the doubt as she took Kim upstairs to the bedroom she had been working on cleaning. When she first arrived she had thought she might want to stay in the bedroom but had found the television was great company and hadn’t touched it since. It would work well for Kim’s needs. She returned back downstairs once Kim seemed settled in and ignored Spike seeing how he wasn’t getting into any trouble. Buffy took her dirty blanket and curled up on the couch in silence.
Lucky walked over to Spike and he looked down at the cat remembering how his mum had a cat and he couldn’t help but pet the cat. It had been so long since he had actually been in a house much less been welcomed in one. This house may be dirty but it at least had a cat. Lucky went back over to Buffy and settled down on her lap to contently purr. He glanced up to notice Buffy had been watching him. He returned her look, cocking his head to one side, curiosity shining in his eyes as he tried to figure out what she was thinking but she looked away before he could figure it out.
As he laid down on the hard wood floor, she felt obligated to ask, “Mind if I turn the television on? I have been sleeping with it for noise lately.”
Spike shrugged welcoming some noise, “Don’t mind at all.”
Buffy frowned as she stated directly to Spike, “I don’t know why you have come here and not sure I care right now. You are around because I’m assuming you aren’t here to kill me. Are you here to kill me?” Spike shook his head and Buffy waved her hand continuing her little speech, “I don’t want you messing with Kim tomorrow. I have to work in the morning until late. I didn’t exactly invite Kim here but I hope you fed. She won’t be becoming a snack while I’m at work.”
Spike nodded in agreement, “Wasn’t planning to eat her anyway…you have a job?”
Buffy nodded, “I was thinking of giving it to Kim. I was planning to talk to Henry about it tomorrow when I take my paycheck home with me. She needs work and I think…I think I need to move on for a while.”
Spike didn’t say anything in reply as she turned on the television. Spike rolled on the floor trying to find a more comfortable spot but was failing. He let out a deep sigh wishing he felt more tired but instead thoughts were swirling around in his head. This was also early for his bedtime habits. Part of him wondered why Buffy hadn’t kicked him out on the streets but another part of him realized she didn’t seem bothered. He also asked himself over and over again why he didn’t leave now that he saw she was fine. That was what he had come for after all but yet he wanted to stay at least for the night and day. He finally just rolled onto his back staring at the television. Buffy surprised him by sitting up on the couch, patting the spot next to her, “Come sit by me. I can’t sleep and want to ask you some questions.”
Spike shrugged and did as she asked, hoping to get some insight into what she was thinking. She had let a master vampire into her house with her friend there. She hadn’t kicked him out when the sun was about to rise but instead offered him a place to stay. Plus she said he could stay at her house when she wasn’t around. Something seemed off. Buffy broke his thoughts as she turned to him and asked in a point blank tone, “Why are you here?”
Spike decided to tell her the truth, “I told you. Dru left me. I remembered I left you. I got to wondering about you and if you made it. I went off to find you after learning you were indeed alive.”
Buffy looked at him trying to determine if he was indeed telling the truth so she questioned, “How’d you learn I was alive?”
Spike looked down at his hands that were banging out a beat to the Sex Pistols song in his head. He felt uneasy as though he were fighting for the right to survive and knowing how stake-happy she was and how quick tempered she seemed, he probably was. He quietly explained, “Went to see your mum. She showed me your letter. I wanted to find you.”
Buffy looked at him skeptically, “You plan to take me home, don’t you?”
Spike shook his head as he looked at Buffy, “Not until you are ready, pet.”
Buffy nodded satisfied for now with the reply, and yawned suddenly felt tired so she whispered, “Get comfortable.”
Spike looked at her in total surprise as his mouth dropped open. He finally managed to close it to ask, “Why?”
Buffy wasn’t even sure what the real answer was. Her mind was spinning with thoughts she didn’t want to deal with and all she knew is she felt bad leaving him on the hard floor. It was either this or offer him a dirty bedroom. Determined not to analyze the situation she simply replied, “I’m tired and I feel bad making you sleep on the floor so get comfortable and I’ll get comfortable around you.”
Spike looked at her curiously but figured the couch was big enough so he curled up in a corner of the couch and she curled up on her side on the opposite end. She shared the blanket with him, carefully tucking it around both of them. Spike looked at her confused but figured, ‘What the Hell. She’s being nice for a change so I won’t call her on it. Probably just lost and lonely like me’
He felt tired as he curled up into the blanket and was asleep pretty quickly.
Buffy lay with her head resting against the couch arm thinking about what she will do now. She wasn’t ready to go home and wasn’t sure she would ever be. Seeing Spike reminded her that she definitely didn’t want to have to deal with people and hated the questions she would be asked. She didn’t want to think about the answers much less the questions. She had to admit though, she never expected to see Spike again. He looked like she felt. She could almost feel his pain radiating off him. She wondered how he could deal with living like that. She had to turn her emotions off to survive. She had to change her name, become a whole new person to go on living life. She sighed and tried to close to her eyes and relax so she could sleep. Finally she realized sleep wasn’t coming and decided to act on her stray thought of, ‘Perhaps I can convince Spike to talk to me.’
She wondered if he was sleeping so she whispered softly, “Spike, you awake?”
Spike stirred and replied, “What is it, love?”
Buffy bit her lower lip nervously as she started her planned speech, “I can’t sleep. Can you talk to me a little while until I’m tired? If you do, you can sleep all day while I’m at work tomorrow, I promise. But I can’t and I really can’t sleep. My mind is racing and I can’t get it to stop. Can you just tell me a story or something please?”
Spike sensed her desperation and replied, “What kind of story you want?”
Buffy shrugged not really understanding her own actions. Only thing she did understand was that Kim and now Spike had opened up feelings of loneliness and she didn’t like it. She figured perhaps she could learn something about him. She wasn’t sure if she was hoping for his story to remind her that he was some evil blood sucking vampire or something friendly and more human-like. She just was so tired of feeling lonely and wanted the company right now so she said, “If I promise not to tell anyone, can you tell me what you were like before? You know, before you were turned.”
Spike sighed not really wanting to talk about it but wanting to help Buffy so he said, “How about I tell you a story my mum used to tell me. Would that work?”
Buffy nodded then realized Spike couldn’t see her nod so she said, “That’s fine. Is it happy?”
That wasn’t quite what Buffy had in mind but it would work. It was something to get her mind off her own thoughts that she didn’t want to think about. She didn’t want to think about her home, her friends, her family or Angel. She heard Spike chuckle and she felt the uncontrollable urge to move her head so she could hear his voice better. Before she could stop herself, she shifted her head so it was closer to him and felt him shift as well. She frowned as her mind started filling with reminders of the last time she was really this close to someone. Angel’s face popped into her head and she shifted even more trying to erase the thoughts from her head. Suddenly she felt Spike’s shoulder against her face and in a way she was shocked at her own actions but she was really craving the touch of another person.
Spike felt her head lean against his shoulder and he was shocked but said nothing as he shifted slightly to get into a more comfortable position for himself and her. He moved the blanket to cover both of them and decided it was time to tell his story before something else happened, “My dad was a gentleman. Know what that means, pet?”
He felt the Slayer shake her head so he went on to explain, “Well, gentlemen come from money. They get their money from factories, shipping, or something like that. My money came from two factories overseas. In fact, it’s still making money today in England, which is being transferred into my account all the time. Wolfram and Hart takes care of it for me. They know I’m a vampire and take care of vampires. But anyway this wasn’t supposed to be about me but about my parents’ meeting. So anyway my dad was a gentlemen and went to parties often. My mum wasn’t allowed to go to them because she was of a lower class. In those days, love, everything depended on your class and where you got your money. She was part of the working class and my dad was not, so their social circles would usually never cross. But that isn’t how this story goes.”
She felt him chuckle again and moved her head a little closer so she could feel the vibrations of his voice as he spoke, “She had just started working, becoming of age, and she did what her parents did, worked in a factory. It just so happened that she worked in one of the factories my dad owned. Well anyway, he was walking through the factories to inspect how the thing was run. He was learning from his dad and he really wanted to see what the inside of the factory looked at. While walking through, he saw a young lady with light brown hair who was singing softly as she worked. He immediately fell in love with her and knew it was wrong but couldn’t help himself. Their relationship was forbidden immediately. He had met her after work everyday and offered to spend some time with her. She refused him hundreds of times. My mum used to laugh and say that I was just like my dad, persistent but handsome.”
Then he chuckled recalling the memory, but continued with his voice a little quieter with emotion, “I don’t know if I agree with her. I can’t even keep Dru after 120 years of being with her.”
He paused trying to recollect his thoughts and then continued with his voice stronger, “But anyway, finally one day his father was downsizing the factory. He wanted to open up a second factory and the only way to do so was to get rid of some of the workers in this factory and then he could hire them back in the new factory. She was one of the chosen ones to be terminated. My dad saved her though. He swept her off her feet with his dashing good looks and persistence. Together, they were a match made in Heaven. He married her shortly after and then she had me. I was their only child. She loved me so much.”
Buffy who was so involved in the story asked quietly, “What happened to them?”
Spike hesitated, “Dad died in a war when I was just a child. Mum…well, it’s complicated.”
Buffy put her hand on his arm feeling the need to apologize. She was so wrapped up in the people of the story that she had forgotten sometimes things aren’t pleasant to talk about, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry. I was just curious.”
Spike shifted as he tried to sit a little taller and Buffy readjusted her head to accommodate him as he admitted, “She was sick and dying. Dru had given me life when my life was ruined so I figured I could save her by giving her life as well. I was thinking she would be healthy and never die and not be sick anymore. She was a beautiful woman and I looked forward to never having to lose her and Dru was so happy with the idea of having a family so I turned her. I had this image in my head that it would be perfect but it wasn’t so perfect. She wasn’t herself. The monster took her over and she was trying to shag me. She was running her mouth about how much I wanted her, which wasn’t true. I wanted her better not in that kind of way. In the end, I had to stake her. I killed her. My own mum was dead because of me. Not only did I kill her once but had to kill her again.”
His voice had broken on the last few statements and tears fell from his eyes, which he quickly wiped away. The room was quiet for a few minutes until Buffy decided to speak up, “She was going to die either way Spike. You know that right?”
Spike nodded and she snuggled closer to him in hopes of comforting him. He whispered, “Buffy, pet, can you sleep now?”
Buffy nodded and realized she enjoyed the way it sounded when he said her name.
She didn’t even attempt to say she was Anne now. Her name from his lips sounded perfectly right, and like she belonged to someone.
She yawned and asked, “Is it ok if I sleep like this?”
Spike smiled at her and without thinking kissed the top of her blonde head and whispered, “Sweet dreams, pet.”
Buffy whispered, sounding tired, “Sweet dreams, Spike.”
Lucky finally realizing they were settling, climbed on Buffy’s side purring and with that Buffy drifted off to sleep determined not to over analyze the situation at hand. Within a few minutes, Spike followed.