Chapter 8
It took Buffy all of three minutes to realize what had just happened. She had seen that last look on his face many times in their last year together, she knew immediately what it was, it was guilt. She had also seen the flashing yellow eyes the night before he had went and got his soul, the night in her bathroom. She had seen the same look on his face then as well. It had been, in basic terms man fighting against monster.
If Buffy hadn’t spent the last year researching Claims and Spike, she wouldn’t have even understood what had just happened. The thing was though, that she had. Some might have called her obsessed, but she understood now, why she had been the way she had. Spike had been her destiny, her soul mate or rather demon mate, and she’d be dammed if she was going to let him get away again
She slammed through the closet doors, wiping the tears from her eyes. Barely taking note of the designer clothes that lined the walk-in closet. She found the first pair of tennis shoes and shoved her feet in them hoping they would fit. Amazingly enough they fit perfect. She then ran into the bathroom throwing her hair up in a loose pony tail. Buffy was in such a hurry to get to Spike and make him see that he had done nothing wrong that she almost barreled into the blonde vampire standing outside her bedroom door.
Buffy immediately realized this was the woman she hadn’t met yet. The one who had told the rest of them that she didn’t want to get involved with this insanity, that she wasn’t going to be a part of putting all the Cullen’s in danger. This was Rosalie, Emmet’s woman. “Sorry,” Buffy breathed.
“Do you think its wise going after him? He seemed so… angry.” Rosalie questioned.
Buffy studied Rosalie a moment, for the one who had not wanted to get involved, she had a sea of emotions flowing in her eyes, compassion, envy, sorrow, pity and anger where just a few. Rosalie must have overheard the conversation Buffy had with Spike.
Buffy nodded, “He was but…” she sighed “That’s not why he ran from me. He doesn’t run when he’s angry.” She couldn’t help it, she laughed at the memories. Spike had never been one to run when he was angry, he faced whatever it was that was bothering him head on. “He beats the shit out of whoever is pissing him off, either with his words or his fists. He’s only ever run from me when he’s felt guilty about something.”
“I… I don’t understand. You sounded scared and I heard your heart rate increase.” Rosalie looked confused and a little worried.
“I was more afraid of what he might say to me, than anything he might do. Spike has always had the ability to cut me to shreds with his words, because he’s always been able to read me so well.” Buffy began to walk around Rosalie, “that’s why I have to go after him, he has to know everything.”
Buffy took off at a full out run not even bothering to use the stairs, she catapulted herself over the side of the railing and landed on the first floor taking off in a sprint through the front door towards the woods. Buffy barely noticed Edward and Bella pulling up in his Volvo because she heard a feral roar off in the distance. She tore off in the direction at the moment her feet hit the ground outside of the Cullen’s home.
Edward had no idea what was going on but he imagined that it couldn’t be good. He was about to tell Bella they should probably go find out what was going on when Alice came running through the front doors. “Edward you need to go after them there future’s just disappeared,” she paused “bring Bella with you, I think it’s the dogs.” She said the last bit in a disgusted tone.
Edward immediately got out of the car and began cursing under his breath. He sighed as he walked over to the passenger side door and opened it for Bella. “We better go after them. There’s no telling how Jacob or the pack will react to someone who can actually look like a monster.”
Bella agreed with Edward and nodded her head, but she was secretly very excited that she might get a chance to see her best friend Jacob Black. She had not seen Jacob since he had snitched on her about the motorcycles she had been secretly riding behind her father’s back. “Do you think the pack will hurt Buffy or Spike?”
“I don’t know. I imagine as long as Buffy finds him first they will have no choice but to back down. They will not attack a human.” Edward answered as he hoisted Bella into his arms, “you better close your eyes. I wouldn’t want to make you dizzy again.”
Bella did as Edward asked and tightened her arms around his neck. Closing her eyes tightly, before she felt Edward begin to move at an impossible speed though the forest.
***********************************************************
Spike didn’t know how long he had been running when he finally let the demon take control, but when it finally tore through to the surface completely Spike saw nothing but red. The anger at Angel’s betrayal that had been on the back burner until Spike had been far enough away from Buffy’s scent came boiling to the surface.
He roared his fury to the heavens and began trying to take the forest apart. “How could you!?” he roared to no one, slamming his fist hard into nearby tree and snapping the trunk in half. “How could you do this to us Angel!?” He screamed again, kicking the same tree and toppling it over. “Is it because of Conner, is tha’ why!?” Spike didn’t realize there were tears streaming down his face. “I trusted you, even when I promised myself I wouldn’!” He screamed bringing another tree down in his fury. “You made me believe in you!” Spike stomach tied into knots at his realization and he began to dry heave. “Oh… God, I helped you.” A heart breaking sob tore through the vampire’s throat and he fell to his knees and wept.
Spike was so far gone in his grief, he did not sense the pack of wolves that had been watching nor did he feel Buffy approaching him. She had been close enough to hear Spike’s screams and they tore her apart. She hadn’t known Spike had been back long enough to form a connection with Angel. And that, in her eyes, made the betrayal so much worse.
Buffy knelt down next to Spike and gathered him in her embrace. Tears that had dried up not minutes before began streaking down her face, at seeing the man she loved so thoroughly broken. “I’m so sorry, Spike,” she whispered, kissing the top of his head and rocking him. “I love you so much.”
Spike slowly raised his head looking in Buffy’s eyes. “I don’t see why, I’m not worthy of you, Buffy, I never was.” Spike tore his eyes away turning his head at the shame he was feeling.
“God, don’t say that, never say that! Do you have any idea what my life has been like this past year without you?”
Buffy’s life the past year had been spent mulling over old volumes and learning as much as she possibly could about the similarities in vampire and slayers. She also had discovered that it was not that uncommon for a slayer to mate with a vampire. That on some level they were of the same make up. She had learned that in the past five hundred years it had happened twice, in both accounts the Slayers where killed by the Watchers Council. When she wasn’t at H.Q. mulling over old volumes, she was in Cleveland spending time with Faith and getting thoroughly sloshed. Robin had died from his wounds and it had hit Faith pretty hard. So on some levels Buffy and Faith had really connected.
She hadn’t realized until now, right now, until looking in Spike’s ocean blue eyes, how much she had been screwing up. She had let her grief completely consume her, and the funny thing was she truly couldn’t give a shit. Buffy didn’t care that Giles had felt the need to take her away from slayer training duty because she managed to get ten of her slayers, including herself, thrown into jail for starting a bar fight. She didn’t care that Faith, of all people, had to sit her down and actually tell her she was being reckless and irresponsible, because in reality Spike deserved so much more than just her disregard for duty. She should have started a fire in his name, and made it so big and bright that the heavens trembled with fear for taking away what belonged to her. God, she should have done so many things, but when one loses oneself it takes finding yourself again before you see clearly. For the first time in so long, Buffy finally saw, and the revelation warmed her heart. She was home, being with Spike felt like home, and as long as they were together nothing could stop them.
Her happiness was short lived, Spike suddenly stiffened in her arms and pulled away, his eyes narrowed at her and angered jealousy flashed across his face. “Actually now that you mention it, I’m quite aware of what you’ve been up to. How was Rome, Slayer?” Spike asked with a sneer.
Buffy’s hurt at his actions was quickly replaced by confusion, “Rome?”
“Oh don’t you dare play dumb with me. I saw you, Buffy.”
“Huh?” She honestly had absolutely no clue what he was talking about. She had been to Rome once for a day, but just to get Dawn situated in her new school. Buffy hadn’t even spent a full twenty-four hours.
He was right in front of her now their noses almost touching as he glared daggers at her. “Still nothin, well how about this, two words, The Immortal.” Spike spat the last bit and grabbed Buffy’s shoulders.
Buffy’s brow furrowed, she should know that name. God, where had she heard that name before, and then it all clicked…
**FLASHBACK**
“It has come to my attention, that I may have given you too much responsibility since the destruction of Sunnydale,” Giles sighed, no one mentioned Spikes death since Sunnydale. He removed his glasses and began to polish them. “So, as of this moment, I am taking you off of active Slayer duty.” Giles held up his hand forestalling any argument from Buffy.”A decoy is being created as we speak, she will be stationed in Rome with Dawn and Andrew…”
“But…”
“This is not negotiable, Buffy!” Giles yelled. “We cannot have the demon community thinking that our best and longest lived Slayer has lost her bloody mind!” Giles paused, “What in God’s name were you thinking!?”
**FLASBACK**
“Hello!” Buffy said into her phone.
“Hey, Buffy,”Andrew’s voice wafted over the phone.
“Andrew? What’s wrong, where’s Dawn?”
“Oh, it’s nothing like that. Well it’s just that…”Andrew sighed, “We just got word that Angel is here in town, and we think he might show up here. What do you want me to tell him?” Andrew asked.
Buffy was silent for a moment, “Well… we can’t blow her cover, Giles would throw a fit. Plus I’m really not in the mood for an Angel reunion any time soon, especially since he has become the new head of Evil Incorporated. Am I supposedly still dating that demon guy?”
“You mean The Immortal? Yah, your still dating him,” Andrew answered.
She sighed into the phone, “Just tell him I’m in love, and I’m trying to moving on with my life”
**END FLASHBACK**
“My Decoy,” Buffy murmured.
Spike almost didn’t hear her, “What?”
”It was my decoy, Giles thought it wasn’t a good idea to have the demon populous finding out his best Slayer had lost her mind. So he basically,” Buffy shrugged, “he made a new me.” She couldn’t help but laugh, “It’s funny if you think about it. Giles was so worried about me that he inadvertently kept me away from the one person who would make me normal again.”
Spike stared at her dumfounded for a moment. “Yah, real funny, I could see how it would be a laugh riot, if you’re anyone but me.” Spike rolled his eyes. “Christ, Buffy, do you have any idea what it was like thinkin you where with that wanker? That my death meant so little…”
“Spike…”
He was pacing now, “that what you said meant nothin…”
“Spike...”
“That you could just move on with you…”
“SPIKE!” Her patience had run thin and all she wanted right now was to hold the man she loved. “Can you just shut up and kiss me already.”
Spike stopped pacing and the scowl that had marred his face instantly softened into one of the most loving looks she had ever seen. “I thought you’d never ask,” he breathed, as he moved back in front of her. His eyes penetrating as he began to move closer. “Are you sure about this, if you don’t want me… I don’ know if I can hold back.”
“Don’t hold back, I don’t want you to.” Everything felt like it was in slow motion. Spike gently raised his hand and tucked a stray hair behind her ear as he stepped closer. His hand cupped her cheek as his thumb ran a slow path across her lips. Buffy shuddered and trembled from that small contact alone and before she could blink his lips smashed in to hers.
His lips where soft and demanding, and his taste was something Buffy had never been able to forget. She moaned and wrapped her arms around his neck, deepening the kiss as heat began to pool in her belly. The world around them melted away into non-existence.
Spike wrapped his arm around her small waist, bringing her flush against his chest, and began to walk them backwards, trailing wet kisses down her cheek until he reached her neck, where he then began to nip and suck. She moaned in approval. “Oh god, I’ve missed this,” Buffy hissed as one of Spike’s hands slid inside her camisole and found an erect nipple and pinched.
When she felt her back hit a tree she instinctually wrapped her legs around his waist and began to grind her soaking center into his cloth covered erection. “So beautiful,” Spike whispered in her ear and then bit the lob. Buffy cooed in response and Spike growled deep in his chest. “Your mine, you know that.” He snarled as he thrust himself hard against her pussy, eliciting a long strangled moan from Buffy. “Always have been, always will be.”
“Yes… always… pl-please,” The last was said on a whine. God she was on fire, her whole body was tingling. “I need…”
“Know what you need baby.” Spike said as he began to untangle her legs from his waist. Her scent was mouth watering and if he didn’t taste her soon he would bust. “But first,” He said dropping to his knees and hooking his fingers in her sweats, “I want a taste.”
The sound of a throat clearing halted Spike’s action and he whirled around to be met with two very familiar eyes. He growled in irritation. “Wes, is tha’ you?” he grited out
“Only in spirit, I’m afraid. I’m rather sorry to interrupt, but there is much to discuss and I don’t have much time.”
When Buffy’s lust induced haze cleared and her vision returned her gaze fell on the figure standing next to Wesley and her eyes widened in shock, “Oz?” she breathed.
“Hey, Buffy.”
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Author's Chapter Notes:
My deepist apologies for taking so long to update. I got the stomach flu and was out of it for a while. Anyway hope you all enjoy, this my first attempt at writing anything smutty so let me know what you think. Reviews make the muse happy!
Special thanks to my beta and long time friend Megan.
Special thanks to Xaphania for her absolutely exquisite banner!
Special thanks to my beta and long time friend Megan.
Special thanks to Xaphania for her absolutely exquisite banner!
Chapter End Notes:
Please Review! I need to know what you think.