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Author's Chapter Notes:
Okay so I've been on a bit of a hiatus. Between this site randomly being down and things in my life getting busy I haven't been able to update. But I'm updating now! And the next chapter of HCIF? will be up shortly as well. So sorry for the wait but please stay with me! I appreciate everything so far, thank you thank you thank you.
“Not that I’m aware of, either way I’m just doing my job.” Darla explained.

“This is ridiculous. I get sent here to save Spike from dying, meet his mother and find out that he would have hated me?” Buffy couldn’t stand this. She couldn’t stand that he didn’t like her and that his mother was amazing and that she had to be there in the first place to find out all of this first hand.

“Buffy, I know this is hard. I know this feels like more than you can bare but the powers think you can handle this, so you’re just going to have to trust them.”

“How can I trust someone or thing that I’ve never met. Everything they’ve forced on me has been like a knife and now their just twisting it around.”

“You just have to stick this out. Please try not to make this harder.” Buffy could tell by Darla’s tone that putting her through this was hard for Darla too. They of course were never close being as how what Buffy knew of Darla was that she had wanted her dead and that she had been with Angel for countless years. Though in the short time that she had been her guide they had tolerated each other and it seemed like Darla was starting to care more than Buffy realized.

Buffy decided that Darla was only doing what she was ordered to do so she calmed down a bit and walked to sit beside her on the bed.

“It’s just…really hard.” Darla nodded understanding. “I could really be here for months?” Buffy asked dejectedly.

“To you it will be, but when you go back it will be like you never left.”

“Somehow that’s even harder. I’ll have changed and everything will just…be the same.” Buffy knew somehow that she would come out different on the other side. Possibly because she was already different just from the nights events.

“Well that is the point. You’re supposed to learn something from this.”

Buffy remembered all too well. “Yeah, that I’m a total bitch and if things had been different…” Buffy was overwhelmed with guilt once more. Spike had been evil when she had treated him so badly, but it must have hurt more than she knew. Apparently women were treating him like he was nothing before they had an excuse.

“Somehow I don’t think they would send you here for that.” Darla was trying to reassure Buffy, but it wasn’t working.

“So is there a reason why you’ve shown up now? I mean clearly you’re not taking me back.”

“I am just here to tell you that what needed to be done is done. Though I’m sure you know that, and to tell you to just go with the flow.”

“Go with the flow?”

“Yes. As in, everything that his Mom is doing for you and staying here, that is where you were supposed to end up and you did. So keep doing it.”

“Oh, well okay. Where else was I going to go anyway?”

“Good point. Now sleep, they’ll probably be up early.” Buffy looked at Darla questioningly. They don’t even have alarm clocks, how could they get up early? “That’s just how things are done here Buffy. In this time I mean.”

“Oh.” With that Darla was gone leaving Buffy alone again in her new beautiful room. She decided to change and she washed her face with the basin on the night table. She got into the bed and found that no matter how comfortable sleep wouldn’t come.

The events of the night were going over in her head. Why had Spike let those people treat him that way? Why was he so mad at her for not liking it? Why did she feel so guilty about how she had treated him? When he had a soul she didn’t treat him poorly. Most of the time anyway. Was Angelus going to show up again? He seemed to show an interest. How long was she really going to have to stay there? Could she handle Spike hating her for months without going insane? How could she go back to her time with her last memory of him being that he hated her?

All of these questions were running through her mind over and over again until she finally fell into a restless sleep.

Buffy found herself back outside her house in Sunnydale. She was so happy to see her home again and ran up to it and in the front door. She looked around and found no one.

She walked into the kitchen where she found her mother standing doing the dishes.

“Mom?” Buffy asked not believing her eyes.

Joyce turned around and smiled brightly at her daughter. “Hi dear, it’s so good to see you.” Buffy was a little thrown off by the fact that her mother now had a British accent, but was too happy to see her to think much of it. She ran up to her mother and hugged her from behind.

“Oh mom I thought I’d never see you again.”

Joyce turned around and gave her daughter a proper hug before stepping back and looking at her with an unreadable expression. “Maybe if you’d have treated me better things would have turned out differently.” She said this as sweet as could be still in the British accent. She smiled at Buffy and turned back to the dishes.

Buffy couldn’t believe her Mom had said that to her. “Mom? Is everything alright?”

“Yes honey. You don’t have to feel guilty now, what’s done is done. I was just thinking that maybe if you had thought more about others you would have been home in time to save me.”

“What?” Buffy whispered. She couldn’t believe what her Mom was saying.

“Not to worry dear.” She told her turning back to look at her. “You should go talk to Spike, he’s in the basement where you left him. Do you think maybe you should have given him a better place to stay?” Joyce asked her this very pleasantly but it still cut Buffy to hear it. She couldn’t stand hearing her mother say these things so she did as she said and went downstairs to see Spike.

When she got to the bottom of the stairs she found Spike playing Jacks with a twelve-year-old Dawn on the floor. “She’s too young.” Buffy told Spike, almost as if she was asking him why.

“Well this is the age you last spent time with her properly.” Spike told her looking up but still picking up every Jack.

“Do you wanna play Buffy?” the young Dawn asked.

“You know she doesn’t niblet, go upstairs for now, I’ll let you know when she’s gone.” Spike told Dawn and Buffy watched her trot up the stairs after giving him a hug.

“I would have played.” Buffy told him.

“Because you felt obligated?” Spike asked.

Buffy didn’t know what to say. This was all too horrible, and what scared her was how true it might be.

“Spike what’s going on?”

“It’s your dream, you tell me.” He was standing now looking at her expectantly. She noticed then that he was looking at her the same way William did. Like he didn’t love her.

“I think I feel guilty.” Buffy heard footsteps on the stairs behind her and turned around hoping it was Dawn. She found William standing at the bottom of the stairs looking at her with disdain.

“Have you considered the possibility that you are guilty?” He asked.

“I-“

“Of course she hasn’t mate. She’s Buffy.” Spike chuckled replying to his former self.

“I-“ Buffy tried to interject again but was cut off by William.

“You’d think after everything you went through you would have picked someone different.”

“What can I say, I guess I like being made to feel horrible.”

“You know you don’t deserve it right?”

“I tried to tell you that!” Buffy yelled at William trying to make them see she wasn’t all bad.

“Of course you did.” Spike replied laughing at Buffy. “But as always it’s too little too late for you. Wait ‘til I’m dead and he’s a figment to realize we may be worth the time of day.”

They were both laughing now and Buffy was looking back and forth at them helpless. She started to cry. She cried so hard she fell on the floor. When she looked up at them they were standing together now looking down at her. They weren’t laughing anymore. They were just looking – judging.”

“You know what I think?” William asked Spike.

“She’s beneath us.” Spike answered.

“That’s exactly what I think.”

Buffy was willing herself to wake up when Anne materialized between Spike and William. “How could you use my poor boy so?” She sang at Buffy changing the words. Buffy began to cry again before she opened her eyes and was looking at the ceiling of the bed she had fallen asleep in.

She still had a tear in her eye which she quickly wiped away as she sat up. The whole dream – nightmare – flashed before her eyes and she had to push back more tears. She looked over at the window and found that the sun was just coming up. How was she going to handle this?


Chapter End Notes:
please review and tell me what you think. This is my first dream sequence!



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