Author's Chapter Notes:
A HUGE thanks to my new beta Lovesbitch91(Chelsea) for going over this chapter you did a great job sweetie. Also a MASSIVE thanks to Edgehead (Mel) for making the awesome banner.
Chapter 15
Only ever you
Buffy woke with the morning sun streaming in on her face. She sighed contentedly, stretching and then rolling over to cuddle into Spike. Reaching for him, she only found air. Eyes popping open, she shot up in bed, grasping the sheet to her naked chest. She couldn’t believe it; she was alone. Jumping out of bed, she grabbed the first piece of clothing she could find and slipped it over her naked form.

She felt panic and dread flow through her, ’No’! her mind screamed at her. She couldn’t do this, not again. Moving to the bathroom she gathered up her clothes and returned to the bedroom. That’s when she saw him walking into the room. Placing her clothes on the bed she took a much needed deep breath, trying to calm herself as she turned to face him.

He smiled, obviously nervous as he moved towards her, and she swallowed hard at the sight of him wearing only a pair of black satin boxes. Passing her a cup of coffee he placed his on the bed side table before looking back up at her.

“We should talk,” he said calmly, but those three words sent alarm bells off in her head. Almost dropping her coffee as she placed it down, she quickly grabbed her clothes again.

“I have to go,” she said, practically running for the bedroom door. Grasping her arm to stop her from leaving, he begged.

“Buffy wait… you can’t run from this; we have to talk about it.”

“No, we really don’t,” she replied, turning to leave.

“So that’s it?” he spat, and she turned to face him again. “You’re just going to run out the door? Pretend this never happened? And then what? We avoid each other for a while, stop hanging out, you can jump on a plane and leave town again? Cause you know that always works out so well,” he almost yelled, enraged that she was just going to walk out of his life again.

“What did you expect Spike? I can’t do this; be here every day knowing what we’ve done together, how good we are together, what we could have had if only you could…” She sighed, stopping herself as tears formed in her eyes.

“If I could what?” he asked, stunned by her outburst. Did that all mean she wanted to be with him? That maybe she really loved him too? He couldn’t let her leave; he wouldn’t, not this time.

“It doesn’t matter, it’s just a mistake,” she whispered, turning to leave again.

“Don’t you dare say that,” he started, but this time she didn’t stop. She was really going to run from him. Not this bloody time! his mind yelled.

“Buffy, please, stop,” he begged; but still she kept moving. He knew he could get hurt, that she may laugh but it didn’t matter. He had to tell her the truth. Even if it meant more pain for him, at least he would know he did everything he could.

“I love you,” he yelled at her retreating form. She stopped, stunned, and turned to face him, sighing. Spike felt his heart break at the sad look on her face, almost like she was about to let him down gently.

“And I love you Spike. But it’s not enough… I know you will only ever love me as your best friend but I need more. I want it all,” she whispered sadly. But when Spike started laughing softly she felt rage boil in her. ”How dare he!!!!” her mind screamed. ”After what we just did together.” He saw her face turn red with rage and knew she was taking his laughter the wrong way. Quickly, he spoke.

“Luv, it’s not what you think. Yes I love you as my best friend but it’s more than that. It has been for a very long time, but I never thought you could…. After what I put you through…. Buffy I’m in love with you, all of you. And more than anything I want to be with you and only you… forever,” he said. She felt the inner rage quickly fade as her heart rate picked up.

“Very long time? How long?” she asked, stunned.

“Pretty much since that night you walked out four years ago. Honestly, probably even longer, but I was just too scared to face it.” This time Buffy started to laugh.

“Oh god! Years, four years…. I was so stupid, I ruined everything because I was so scared… I’ve wasted four year.” She moaned like she was in pain, and Spike knew immediately what she was upset about and moved, wrapping his arms around her.

“We were both stupid luv. If we had just been honest with each other… but that’s in the past now, it doesn’t matter anymore. All that matters is that we are here now, together… that is, if you’ll have me?” he asked, looking at her hopefully. She smiled and kissed him passionately as they stumbled back onto the bed together.

“I love you so much Spike, I’ve only ever loved you,” she confessed, feeling free finally.

“God, Buffy, I love you so bloody much,” he groaned out, kissing her again and rolling them so she was now lying under him. He had to have her, needed to be inside her again, and he knew she felt it too.

“Spike, make love to me,” she whispered. He groaned in response as he kissed her again. Within minutes their clothes were gone and they were lying naked. Taking no time for foreplay he slid into her heat; this was not like the night before.

No, last night they had gone slow, explored each other. But now, in this moment, they simply needed to be close to each other, to know they were together, forever, and nothing and no one would keep them apart.

Buffy moaned at the feel of him slipping in and out of her body, loving having him inside her. It felt so right, so perfect, like they were made for each other and each other alone.

“Oh god Spike,” she moaned in his ear, feeling that familiar burn start to build in the pit of her tummy. Running her nails slowly down his back she started to slowly meet him thrust for thrust.

“Oh Buffy, so good, always so bloody good,” he moaned in pleasure. She was so perfect, so tight and he loved being with her, in her and now she was his, He couldn’t believe it; he was sure she would laugh at him when he had confessed that he was in love with her but no, she loved him to, wanted him just as much as he wanted her.

She was his, only his. He needed to make it official, needed to show her he only wanted her forever and he knew just how to show it. He could feel his climax nearing as he leaned his forehead against hers and looked at her. She had her eyes closed but he needed to see them while she came.

“Open your eyes luv,” he whispered. Looking into her now open globes he smiled. “Want to be looking you in the eyes while you cum,” he whispered huskily, sending a bold of sparks straight down her body and to her clit.

“You’re mine Buffy, only mine… say it, tell me you’re mine,” he almost begged her.

“Yes I’m yours Spike, only yours, and you’re mine.”

“Oh god, yes; only yours,” he groaned when he felt her spiral out of control, inner walls clamping around him as she moaned his name in release. Her climax sent him quickly into his own.

“Oh god Buffy, love you, love you so bloody much,” he groaned in his release.

“I love you too,” she smiled. Slipping from her, he rolled to his side. Pulling the blanket up over them, he watched her smile shyly.

“What now?” she asked.

“What do you mean pet?”

“Well, what happens now? Are we dating or not? What does it all mean?” He knew what she needed. Saying he loved her wasn’t enough; not after everything they had gone through together. No, she needed more; and truth was, so did he. Smiling, he stood from the bed, slipping on his boxer shorts and moving over to his dresser to grab something out of the top drawer. Turning to face her, he saw she was now sitting up and leaning against the head board, sheet wrapped around her small frame as she watched him curiously.

Walking back to her he knelt by the bed, praying her wasn’t making a mistake and that she wouldn’t laugh or run from him. Checking out the dark blue velvet box in his hand, Buffy gasped in shock.

“It was my mom’s. Dad gave it to me when I turned eighteen. Said mom wanted me to have it for when I meet the girl of my dreams; and Buffy, I have. This may seem sudden, but we’ve known each other almost our entire lives and the last four years without you where torture for me. I never want to be apart from you again,” he explained, taking a deep breath before continuing.

“I love you more than anything or anyone else in this world. You’re it for me Buffy; I don’t need or want anyone else but you…. What I’m trying to say is… Buffy will you marry me?” he watched the conflict on her face, thinking for sure he had scared her off, and desperately needing to fix it.

“I don’t expect you to marry me tomorrow or even next month… I mean I’ll wait till your ready; a year, two years, God, even five years if you’ll just say you’ll be mine,” he babbled. She couldn’t help but smile; she could see the fear in his eyes and knew what he was thinking, but it couldn’t be more wrong. He had simply shocked her.

“Spike I love you… of course I’ll marry you,” he smiled brightly, placing the ring on her finger and jumping onto the bed with her, hugging and kissing her like a crazy man before finally pulling back.

“I mean it luv. I’ll wait. Whenever you’re ready, I will be too.”

“I don’t want to wait,” she replied, shaking her head. “Let’s start planning now.”

“Really?” he beamed.

“Spike, I love you and I only want you, always have. There is no one else for me and I don’t want there to be… let’s get married.” He started kissing her again; tackling her to the bed they started laughing happily. He couldn’t believe it; she had said yes.

Life was finally perfect.


Chapter End Notes:
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