Author's Chapter Notes:
A huge thanks to my beta pixiecorn and a big thanks to Edgehead for the awesome banner
Chapter 5

Stay here with me

Spike settled comfortably in his bed, sighing contently as his body begun to relax. It had been a long night after Angel’s appearance at the Bronze. He had walked Buffy home but after she confessed to not being tired, they had stayed up for hours eating Ben and Jerry’s while watching boring chick flicks.

Buffy had fallen asleep some time later, her head on his shoulder as she quietly snored. It wasn’t until he was sure that she was in a deep sleep that he carried her into her room and lay her in bed. He had gone to take a shower before heading to bed himself, closing his eyesas his body finally relaxed. Spike almost jumped out of his skin at the blood curdling scream that echoed through the Summer’s house.

Jumping out of bed and racing across the hall he was thankful for two things, one, that Joyce was out of town for the week and two, that he had decided to sleep in his boxes for a change instead of sleeping naked like he usually did.
 
He ran into Buffy’s room and watched as she tossed and turned under the covers. Imminently he knew what was happening, having seen it a hundred times before. 
Over the past week the nightmares had been coming less and less.

Moving across her room, he grasped her shoulders and tried to shake her from her nightmare.

“Buffy luv, wake up.” He pleaded, shaking her gently. Buffy’s eyes shot open, filled with fear and shinning with tears.

“Spike,” she whispered, clearly confused.

“I’m here.”

She let her tears fall as she had many nights before,laying her face on his chest as he rocked her gently.

“Your okay, luv. I’m not going to let anything happen to you ever again, you just let it out… I’m here, I’ll catch you… I promise I’ll always be here to catch you.” He whispered gently as he ran his hands through her hairtrying to calm her.

They stayed like that for what seemed like hours before her breathing calmed and she started to lay down.

“You get some rest now.” Spike whispered as he stoodfrom the bed and made his way towards the door. Buffy sat up, her gentle plea stopping Spike at the door.

“Spike would you…” She took a breath. “Would you stay here?” He turned to face her, certain he had heard wrong but from the look on her face, he knew he hadn’t.

Surveying the room, Spike knew he was going to be camping on the floor.  “Oh well.”  he thought.  “I’ve slept on worse.”  

“Sure,” he nodded. “I’ll just grab a pillow and blanket from my room to make the floor a bit morecomfortable.”

“No… I mean… here.” She whispered as she moved over and pulled the covers back. With a hesitant hand, Buffy placed it on the bed next to her, indicating that’s where she wanted him. Spike looked stunned and uncertain of what to stay, he had fallen asleep in her bed before but this time was different.

This time he was only in his boxes.

He always fell asleep on top of the covers and generallywould return to his own room before she woke up. This changed everything. She was asking him to stay.
Buffy had never done that before tonight, he was sure if his heart could beat it would have exploded right out of his chest.

“Would you just hold me?” she asked, looking scaredand unsure. Buffy’s heart was racing. Would he say no? Laugh at her request?

When he nodded his head ‘yes’, Buffy almost sighed in relief.
 
He moved back across the room, slipping under the covers and held an unnecessary breath when she curledup next to him. Buffy lay her head on his chest and smiled to herself as Spike wrapped his arms around her.

She had never felt as safe as she had in that moment. With Spike’s arms around her she felt like nothing in the world could touch her or hurt her. Sighing contently, Buffy closed her eyes.

It felt so right there with him, so real, more real than anything she had ever experienced before. With a deep sigh, she just hoped that one day she could tell him that. Letting her body sink further into his arms, Buffy finally fell into a dreamless sleep.

Spike had been laying there for an hour watching her. Buffy was still asleep in his arms, her brows coming together every now and then, obviously in the middle of a dream. It was dark in the room and he knew it was at least 7am. Joyce had been kind enough to fit the house with thick dark drapes so Spike could move around the house during the day time.

He heard Buffy make a noise and glanced down, watching as she began to stir and thinking on whether heshould leave the room before she woke up. But no matter how much he told himself he should leave, he couldn’t bring himself to go.
 
Her eyes started to flutter open as she smiled gently at him, she looked so beautiful. Her blonde hair was a tussled mess, wild and untamed, her face void of any make up and her skin bare, aside from the white singlet and matching panties that were hugging her hips. Seeing the lacy material poking out just above the covers, he slowly brought the covers up to fully cover her, shielding her from his gaze.

Buffy let out a little giggle, knowing he was embarrassed but she couldn’t stop the butterfly’s that fluttered in her tummy.

“Morning,” she whispered.

“Morning, luv. You feeling any better this morning?”

“Yeah, I am. I actually thought the nightmares weregoing to stop, I guess seeing him…”

“It understandable that it would bring everything up again, did you sleep better?”

“Yeah, I slept great.” Buffy smiled. “I can’t remember the last time I got a full nights sleep. You’ll have to sleep in here more often,” she laughed softly, causing her body to move against his. Spike groaned at the fell of her, growing hard at the thought of having her wrapped in his arms night after night. Shocked at his reaction he all but jumped out of the bed.

“Are you okay?” Buffy asked, shocked.

“I’m fine. I thought I could make us breakfast.”

“Spike, you don’t eat food, vampire remember?” She smiled, sliding out of bed and coming to stand in front of him in only her singlet and panties, making no move to cover herself. Spike closed his eyes, turning away as Buffy smiled.  “Always the gentleman. Who would of thought?”  She couldn’t help but think, shaking her head and grabbing her dressing gown from the bed side table and wrapping it around her body.

“You can turn back around now if you want.”
 
Spike slowly turned back to face her and was relieved to find her covered, how could she do that to him? Was she trying to kill him? The sight of her standing in front of him with barley a stitch on was enough to drive any man crazy, she was a goddess.

“I may not need to eat food but that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy it occasionally, so pancakes?” he asked deciding it was best to stay on topic.

“That would be great.” She smiled watching Spike walk towards her door, desperately needing to put some distance between them.

“Spike,” he turned to face her. “Thank you.”
 
“For what?” He asked, slowly walking back over to her.

“For last night and all the nights before that… for saving my life, getting me to the hospital in time, for keeping my friends and family safe,” she met his eyes.“For helping them to re-ensoul Angel, for taking over my slayer duties, for everything… I never got around to saying it and I should have of ages ago.” With shaky hands she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Spike in a hug.

 “Thank you.”

“It was nothing, luv.” Spike whispered, staring down at the woman hugging him.

“It was everything, you gave up so much for me to save my life. You turned your back on your nature, stopped killing people cause you knew I wanted you too, Drusilla…”

“I couldn’t be with her, luv. Not after what she helped Angelus do. It makes me sick.”
 
Buffy stepped out of his embrace and raised an eyebrow.

“Who are you? You know you’re a vampire right?”Buffy asked, stunned but laughing slightly, trying to keep the conversation light.

“We have a choice, Buffy, everybody does, even demons,” he met her eyes. “It’s just easier to be evil. Even at my worst there are things that I would never do and that was one of them, I look back now on the things I have done and… I don’t want to be a monster.”

“Your not…”

“Buffy, the things I have done…”

“Done. As in its in the past. You can’t change what’salready done but you can try to make amends and you are. You started with saving my life, I owe you so much.”

“You owe me nothing, Buffy.”

“Your wrong,” She met his eyes. “You’ve done so much, given so much, lost so much… How can I ever repay you?”

“Buffy, I didn’t do what I did so I could get something in return. I did it because I wanted to. Because you wereworth it,” he whispered.
 
Buffy felt tears rim her eyes and her heart hammer in her chest at his confession. Did this mean he had feelings for her? Taking a deep breath she looked up into his blue eyes, wanting so desperately to kiss him but terrified she would scare him off.

“What you did for me that night and every night since…” She leant up and placed a soft kiss on his lips,not daring to deepen it as she stepped back. “I won’t forget it.” She whispered, moving past him and down stairs.

Spike was stunned, she had just kissed him, Buffy Summers the woman of his dreams had just kissed him. He couldn’t move, the feel of her soft warm lips on his where still with him. Did this mean she had feelings for him? Feelings beyond loathing and disgust? 
No, no it was a thank you kiss nothing more. Shaking his head he knew that Buffy, the woman he loved with everything in him could never love him, he was beneathher. With a sigh he pushed the thoughts from his mind and walked across the hall to get dressed


Chapter End Notes:
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