"It raises the level of emptiness that you feel for the loss of a good friend."
~ Tom Delay
Buffy awoke with Spike gently shaking her whispering in her ear, “Buffy sweetheart wake up. Please wake up. Please you need to wake up.”
Buffy opened her eyes and looked around her. She first saw Spike’s blue eyes looking deeply into them and seeing so much concern and love for her. Suddenly it crashed down on her. She was pregnant with Spike’s child and it was taken from her. She collapsed in his arms in tears.
He picked her up into his arms and looked over her, “It’s over, pet. You seem ok only weak. I have you, nothing will happen to you. Who did this to you, love?”
Buffy didn’t answer and just sobbed so loud it was echoing off the empty walls. Spike looked up as a flash of red and black filled the room and Willow whispered, “Oh Goddess. We are too late. Oh Buffy I’m so sorry. There was a barrier and I couldn’t break it. It was using dark magic and I didn’t want to tap into dark magic and…oh goddess, Buffy I’m so sorry.”
Spike looked at Buffy and Willow not understanding. He held Buffy close to his arms as Willow was held closely to Oz. Oz looked up at Spike meeting Spike’s eyes and Willow whispered, “Buffy we will get her back. I promise, I’ll do everything in my power to get her back. Giles is on the phone to the Coven right now to get help.”
Spike looked really confused and Oz finally explained, “Buffy was pregnant but the seer took away the baby and placed it in herself instead.”
Spike looked down at his Buffy who was broken in his arms and couldn’t help but cry as well smothering kisses all over her hair and face promising her as well as himself, “Oh Buffy. We will find whoever did this and make it better. We have to.”
Spike had tucked Buffy into the bed upstairs after making sure she was sleeping peacefully. He was thankful the house had contained some old furniture upstairs in the attic that the precious owners hadn’t bothered to take with them. They were pieced items that needed replacing but provided a place for Buffy to rest her head. He had always managed with Oz’s help to drag down a beat up table along with some other chairs to hold the research part at. He came downstairs to meet with Xander and Anya who had rushed back hearing the news, picking up Giles on the way back. Dawn had wanted to come but didn’t know the whole story. All she was told was Buffy had been taken but was now safe. They didn’t want to ruin Dawn’s education with too much worry.
The room sat in silence as Willow admitted, “I’ll have to go back to the Coven to see if I can help with their efforts. The seer is too powerful for me to track her alone. Perhaps with the pool of all the power together, we can find something.”
Anya whispered softly, her heart filled with pain for Buffy’s loss, “Can I go too? I know I’m not a powerful witch but I have centuries of experience in spells and magic. I might be able to help.”
Willow smiled at the offer, touched that Anya cared so much, “I’m sure you can help lots. What will you three do?”
Giles replied, “Research about the seer, you said her name was Wilda? We can do some research on mystical pregnancies, as well as transferring of fetuses and perhaps see if I can find anything that has to do with tracking someone using black magic.”
Willow nodded satisfied with his answer. She would ensure that they received books to help get them started, “Let’s go Anya. Oh yeah.” She closed her eyes and produced two mugs of hot blood for Spike and chicken noodle soup in a bowl with a glass of orange juice, “Those will stay warm and cold accordingly until you are ready to drink those Spike. Soup of course is for Buffy along with the juice.”
She paused looking at the other two at the table and closed her eyes producing some beers and three trays of snack food. She looked at the three of them explaining, “Sorry I can’t do more but I’ll need my strength. Those came from the bar downstairs. Up to you if you want to tip a bit more than usual next time you go down there but it was in the plate to toss so I think it’s safe enough not to worry about eating it. Be back soon with news I hope.”
She disappeared in a black and red flash while Anya disappeared into a pile of smoke. This left the three guys sitting around a table. Giles chuckled as in the corner of the room about 15 books appeared. He grinned saying, “The Coven always keeps their promises. Let’s research.”
Xander grabbed a book about prophecies, Spike and Giles each took a book in Latin to learn about black magic, and Oz grabbed a book with a fancy cover about good magic. Spike took two more books and nodded upstairs, “I want to be there when she wakes up.”
Giles and Xander nodded in understanding as Spike went upstairs and crawled in bed to hold the sleeping Slayer while settling down to do some reading.
Spike read for 2 hours straight no breaks until he felt Buffy stir under him. He was just finishing up the second book finding out about ways not to have black magic traced. It wasn’t too helpful with explaining ways to track it though so it was frustrating.
Buffy opened her eyes whispering, “Spike?”
Spike placed a gently kiss on her forehead and bookmarked the page he was reading and closed the book laying it on the stand by the bed.
She asked in a quiet voice, “I feel so empty. How can I feel so empty for something I never knew I had?”
Spike hugged her tighter, “It was a part of you, pet. Everyone is working on finding a way to get her back. Willow said it was a girl. Since Willow knows this, I think that means we might have a good sign on getting her back. Plus didn’t your mum promise a happy destiny and future?”
Buffy fought back the tears that were trying to fall as she whispered, “I’m scared Spike. I know I had a lot of trouble telling you that before but now is different and I’m really scared. What if I never get her back? What if that is our only shot at kids? I never really wanted kids but now that I know I had one, I want her back. I want us to be a family. Spike what happens if we can’t get her back?”
Spike started to rock her in his arms as she quietly sobbed. He couldn’t stop a few tears from falling as well as they landed on her hand. She looked up at Spike and spoke in a desperate sounding voice “We have to get her back.”
She wiped the tears away from his face and then away from hers snuggling in his arms, “What were you reading?”
“A book in Latin pet, you can’t read it but it was talking about how to make sure black magic isn’t traceable. It hadn’t said anything about how to trace it yet but I had a few chapters yet to finish that might say it.”
Buffy frowned, “Who’s downstairs?”
Spike spoke gently to her, “Giles, Oz and Xander are all researching. Willow and Anya went to the Coven to see what can be done to trace the seer.”
Buffy whispered, “I read in a book of Giles once about tracing blood. Since it’s our blood, can’t we try that? Perhaps the magic she’s using as a barrier only is working on her and not the baby.”
Spike smiled at Buffy placing a gently kiss on her nose, “That’s a good idea. Good job kitten. Let’s call Willow.”
Buffy frowned as she admitted as defeat entered her voice once again, “I didn’t plug in my phone.”
Spike smiled, “Willow did this morning before her nap saying it was beeping at her from inside your other pocket.”
Buffy wiped her eyes one last time, “I guess we should go downstairs and face the music and place that call to Willow.”
Spike got out of bed pulling Buffy with him as she leaned against him for support whispering, “I still feel empty Spike.”
He nodded and pulled her close, “I know, sweetheart. We will make it better I promise.”
Buffy smiled whispering, “I like sweetheart after all.”