"There is only one path to Heaven On Earth, we call it Love."
~ Karen Goldman
Buffy was resting. She had no idea where she was but she felt at peace. She suddenly remembered feeling like this when she had died after saving Dawn from Glory. She sighed. She was back in Heaven and she knew that everything was ok. This place was quiet, peaceful, and she didn’t feel the need to do anything. One thing was different though, she found she still missed Spike. She was in Heaven, and she had to spend the rest of her eternal life missing Spike?
She was suddenly angry. How can she be in Heaven and have to spend it wasting away. She had accepted death to get away from this feeling. She screamed in frustration and then suddenly there was a bright light in front of her. The bright light came closer and closer and Buffy didn’t understand what was happening. Was she being pulled out again? Did Willow already find out she was dead and was taking her away? Why was this happening to her?
She wanted to feel nothing. She wanted peace. Tears started to fall from her eyes as the bright light was finally right in front of her. The bright light died down and in its place was her mother. Buffy blinked in confusion not understanding what was happening to her. Buffy whispered, “Mommy?”
Joyce replied in a soft tone that almost sounded like singing to Buffy’s ears, “Yes baby, it’s me.”
Buffy whispered, “But mom you’re dead.”
Joyce nodded and said, “So are you. We don’t have much time. There is only about 10 minutes between death and a decision being made.”
Buffy looked confused but only whispered, “Am I in Heaven?”
Joyce shook her head, “No you are in the holding ground for Champions. Usually there is about 10 minutes between life and death but there are exceptions that have to go to trial. Yours was pretty easy to determine. You are to be given a choice. I begged for a chance to see you again.”
Joyce rubbed her hand over her baby girl’s hair and whispered, “Buffy you have to make a decision. This death wasn’t supposed to happen. You were supposed to die in another way at a really old age. But the decision has consequences.”
Joyce looked up and said, “I’m hurrying, learn patience. I have about 3 minutes. Yes yes I know!”
Joyce looked over and Buffy and sighed, “Let me give you a hug while I explain some more to save time.”
She wrapped her arms around Buffy saying, “Baby you weren’t supposed to die yet. You have a beautiful destiny in front of you. They won’t let me see it but I can tell you, it was beautiful from what the other angels said. Buffy, do you want to die or do you want to go back and see what your destiny will bring you? There will be happiness, I promise. The world isn’t ready for you not to be in it and it needs you. Will you trust me and agree to go back? You have a beautiful life ahead of you, I really do promise. Trust me?”
Buffy sighed and hugged her mom tight, torn. She didn’t want to die but she missed Spike. That emotion was enough to make her want to die. She had never felt so dead inside before. She whispered to her mom, “I miss Spike. That’s why I gave in to death early.”
Joyce nodded and hugged her even tighter saying, “It will get better. You just need time. Will you agree to go back? If you don’t, then you will go to Heaven. Heaven is beautiful but it’s not ready for you yet. You have a long life ahead of you.”
Buffy looked at her mom and said, “Why can’t you come with me?”
Joyce frowned and wiped her daughter’s tears away, “It was my time. Another messenger was needed and I was chosen to be it. I saw how good you were and how hard you tried. I watched over you last time you were in the holding ground here and frowned at how long it took them to make a decision. Then Willow took it out of our hands before we could decide. Your love for Spike has always kept you from Heaven. Your love for others and their love for you is what kept you alive for so long. It’s time Buffy, you have to make a choice. Will you go and follow your destiny?”
Buffy nodded and said, “I will. I’ll trust you Mommy.”
Joyce gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead and said, “Be safe child.”
Buffy felt a warm spark hit her all at once and her body ached. She tried to open her eyes but she couldn’t. She heard a familiar voice of Faith yelling, “Buffy, Buffy, wake up!”
Buffy woke up and looked around finding herself in her apartment lying on her bed safe and sound. Her body ached but she looked at Faith for answers.
Robin said, “We found you last night. Faith was restless and couldn’t sleep so we found you in the cemetery. You must have hit your head although we couldn’t find any marks on you.”
Faith grinned saying, “I see Angel’s mark healed up. I didn’t think vampire bites healed up but yours did.”
Buffy stood up and rushed over to the bathroom looking in the mirror. Sure enough, there were no marks on her neck at all. She frowned and couldn't make any sense of it but didn’t ask. She smiled noticing the only scar pretty much that could be seen on her was the mark on her hand. She rubbed it and looked at Faith and Robin and whispered, “Thanks for bringing me here.”
Faith grinned saying, “What are friends for B? You and me have to stick together. We are the original chosen slayers after all.”
Buffy nodded and tried to smile for Faith’s sake, "Thanks again. I do appreciate it."
Buffy yawned feeling really tired and Faith said, “We should let you get some rest. I’ll swing by tonight for patrol okay? We can do the eating out thing again if you want. I’m not big on cooking and Robin here never really learned.”
Buffy nodded in agreement saying, “See you two tonight.”
Buffy sat down on the bed and whispered, “I hope this gets better. I still miss Spike so much.”
She closed her eyes imagining the way Spike’s cool arms felt around her making her feel safe. She cried at the feeling realizing she would never again feel it. She tried to hold on to the feeling but it was slipping fast. She cried herself to sleep wondering why she agreed to come back to this horrible place.
Buffy felt herself being shaken awake. She thought at first it was Faith but instead she saw Anya. She felt so frustrated. First she dies, then she’s brought back and now dead people are haunting her. Then she thought out loud, “Oh God, now I have to deal with the First!”
Anya got annoyed, “No, I am most certainly not the First thank you very much. I can touch you and the First couldn’t do that. Get a grip on yourself. I’m here to give you a vengeance wish. You deserve one after all you have been through.”
Buffy was so confused, “What is going on Anya? Am I dreaming? That’s it isn’t it? I’m dreaming. Great I’m dreaming of dead people and not even the dead person I want. I want Spike!! Dammit powers-that-be do you hear me? I want Spike!”
Anya smiled saying, “Is that what you would wish for? Would you wish for Spike back?”
Buffy nodded and figured it was a dream but it was what she wanted most. Perhaps some part of the dream would help her heal. Anya put her finger in front of Buffy’s lips saying, “Hold on before you make your wish listen up for a quick second. It has to be precise. Do you want Spike back pre-soul or soul or even human? Do you want him to have a chip or not? You have to be specific or the powers-that-be will do what they want.”
Buffy nodded and knew just what she wanted. She rubbed the spot on her hand that was still there and whispered “I wish for Spike to return in whatever form he would be happiest in, right in this very room.”
Anya changed form, “Wish granted.”
Anya then changed back into normal form looking at Buffy apologetically, “I’m sorry I can’t stay but I have to go meet up with the demon that promised me humanity. I get to keep some powers this time around since it’s a thank you! Then I’m off to see Xander. I’ll see you soon Buffy.” She nodded her head and disappeared.