"The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of love and acceptance."
~ Brian Tracy
Buffy awoke stretching her arms and legs noticing she was still dressed from last night. She stood up next to her bed thinking what strange dreams she had. She frowned missing Spike again and was determine not to cry herself to sleep. She frowned even deeper realizing it was afternoon already.
She picked out some clothes and went into the bathroom to shower. Sometimes the water helped a little but this time it didn’t. All she could think about was that dream she had with Anya in it. The frown returned to her face as she thought it was bad enough Spike haunted her every breath but now Anya haunted her dreams. God, she was losing it. How could her mother say things would get better? What kind of wonderful destiny is this?
She got out of the shower wrapping a towel around her and went out into her room to get dressed. She stepped over a pile on the floor not even thinking about what it was.
She barely looked as she dropped the towel and went to pick out her clothes. She suddenly heard a loud groan and jumped up on her bed getting ready to fight. She was naked but at the moment she didn’t even think about it as she prepared to protect herself.
She looked around the room seeing nothing but then her eyes fell on a certain black duster that was lying on the floor in a pile. Buffy blinked knowing that she didn’t have a black duster and she suddenly jumped off the bed going over to the duster and noticed it was more than just a duster. It was Spike. She collapsed on the floor next to him, out cold in a dead faint.
She woke up with a blanket pulled over her and she was in her bed. She shook her head thinking the dreams she has had lately. Man, first her dying, then her mom, then Anya, and now Spike. She was officially losing it. She screamed up in frustration as the tears fell again, “Why are you torturing me like this? I saved the world. I was so good. I did what everyone expected from me. I even gave you more Champions! What do you want from me?”
She heard a voice reply, “Bloody Hell Slayer. Glad to see you’re awake and okay but can’t you tone it down a tad?”
Buffy blinked and looked on the floor next to her bed. It was Spike. His hair was a little longer than she remembered and a little less blond at the tips but it was Spike. Her Spike was lying on the floor next to her bed. She jumped up almost landing on him and then knelt down saying, “Oh my god. Are you real? Are you some sort of sick joke? Have I finally lost it? What’s going on? Why are you here? Am I dead? Is that it?”
Spike blinked at her and said, “No clue pet. I’m mostly as confused as you are. I remember fighting a ton of demons. I remember one holding a stake and I remember feeling pain soar through me before there was nothing but quiet and peace. Then next thing I remember I’m being flung into this room that was so tiny with a bleeding headache that just got worse with you yelling like you were. Did you do a spell? Did Willow do a spell?”
Buffy blinked as tears fall that had been building up before she backed away from the room and tripped over her shoes that she had pulled off last night and landed on her butt. She stuttered, “You’re really here. You’re okay. You aren’t dead. You’re here.”
Spike looked down and pulled his duster around Buffy so he could think clearer. The sight of her naked was having an effect on him and he really wanted to get a handle on things before he dealt with temptation. In horror he stated, “What did you do?”
Buffy looked down at her hands and whispered very softly, “I was given a choice to live out my destiny. I remember your words that I had to live and chose life plus mom said I had a great destiny in front of me and I wasn’t supposed to die like that.”
Buffy looked at Spike realizing she was rambling and tried to focus on his question realizing she had no idea what it was, “What did you ask?”
Spike shook his head saying, “Damn Bloody bint. I asked you what did you do to me!”
Buffy frowned and pulled the duster around her enjoying the smell of leather and smoke and smiled sighing happily.
Spike repeated her name, “Buffy.”
She snapped out of her dreamy state and said, “Anya gave me a vengeance wish.”
Spike looked confused and said, “What does that have to do with me?”
Buffy replied very softly that she was almost surprised Spike could still hear her, “She said I had to be specific in my wish and I was very specific. My wish was for you.”
Spike stood up holding his pounding head saying, “You used your vengeance wish on me? You gave Anya a bloody wish? What is wrong with you? What did you not torture me enough when we were alive? I wanted you to know me as a champion. I wanted you to remember me powerful and good. Not like some bloody ponce. Why did you bring me back Buffy?”
Buffy frowned and whispered the words she used with him last year, “I’m not ready for you not to be here.”
Spike kicked the wall ignoring the dent he put into it, “What the hell does that mean? Does it mean that I can’t die in peace? Does that mean you will always want me around but never really want me? What does that mean?”
Buffy looked at him and shook her head whispering, “This isn’t right. This isn’t what is supposed to happen. I was given a wish as a thank you saying I deserved it. I wished for you back. You were always there. I didn’t get to apologize for what I did to you for all those years. I didn’t get to really say I love you and that I still do. We never got to really date or really make love and I wanted all of those things. Dammit this isn’t how it’s supposed to be?”
Buffy was pacing by now just totally upset. She was losing it. She was so confused. Spike acted like he didn’t even love her anymore. She finally collapsed on the floor sobbing loudly.
Spike sighed and wrapped his arms around Buffy holding her tight wishing the tears to go away. She fell asleep in his arms and he picked her up off the floor and shook his head realizing she was still wearing his duster and he didn’t want it to get ruined in the bed and wanted to be able to really feel her as he touched her.
He pulled it off and laid it on the floor and then pulled off his shirt pulling it gently on her. He didn’t understand what was going on but she was obviously a wreck. He sighed crawling into bed next to her and held her close eventually falling asleep himself.
Buffy tossed and turned in her sleep while dreaming. She was dreaming that she was running. She was running from something and suddenly her mom was in front of her saying, “Why are you running Buffy? You can’t die anymore.”
Buffy stuttered saying, “What about Spike? He can die, I have to protect him.”
Joyce shook her head saying, “He can’t die either. It was our gift to our two living champions. The gift of immortality.”
Buffy heard Spike’s voice saying, “Wake up Buffy. It’s just a dream. I got you, you’re safe.”
Buffy opened her eyes and blinked finding herself being held in Spike’s safe arms. She smiled at him and didn’t know what to say. The last few nights she had slept with Spike they didn’t really wake up normally. One night she had left a note and the other she was distracted by the First.
He whispered, “Morning Cutie.”
She giggled knowing he always knew how to make everything all right. Buffy frowned then remembering their earlier conversation, “Are you mad at me for bringing you back?”
Spike shrugged not sure what to say. He wasn’t really happy but wasn’t really angry either. He was in Buffy’s life again. She was accepting him holding her. He whispered, “Can you tell me why you chose me and not your honey?”
She blinked, “Who’s my honey?”
He said in an annoyed tone, “Angel, your honey pie.”
Buffy rolled her eyes, “I don’t love Angel. I love you. I didn’t even think of Angel when Anya asked. Besides why would I want him back? He’s responsible for your second death.”
Spike stared at her saying, “Say it again Buffy?”
Buffy looked confused, “Say what again?”
Spike said, “You know. The part where you used the word love.”
Buffy smiled and brought her hand up to cup his face saying, “I love you, Spike.”