"Explanation separates us from astonishment, which is the only gateway to the incomprehensible."
~ Eugene Ionesco
"Never explain – your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway."
~ Elbert Hubbard
Then both of them jumped up when they heard someone knock on the door loudly. “Hey B, it’s time for dinner and some ass-kicking. You ready?”
Buffy and Spike didn’t answer and looked at each other and then the door was opened. Faith and Robin stared at the blonde couple in total shock.
Robin spoke first saying, “Spike, why aren’t you dead?”
Faith just stood there in silence and Buffy said, “I made a wish and surprise?!”
Faith said, “Oh my God. You’re back to sleeping with the dead!”
Buffy stood up and said, “He just got back sometime last night and…” She trailed off looking down at her clothes. She was dressed in Spike’s shirt and nothing else. Spike had on only his pants. She shook her head saying, “Um this isn’t what it looks like.”
Spike busted out laughing “Really for once this isn’t what it looked like.”
Robin looked at Buffy, “You made a wish? You messed with magic? I thought Willow was the witch. Did Willow do this?”
Buffy shook her head, “I saw Anya last night. She gave me a choice for a vengeance wish. I chose Spike. Wasn’t a hard choice really.”
Faith blinked, “You could have had the whole world and you wished for Spike back? B, I knew you were dying without him but that’s a harsh wish. Can’t a person die around here without being sucked back down to earth?”
She turned to Robin, “Please tell me that if I die, you will bury me and let me stay buried?”
Robin looked at Faith and smiled, “If you die baby, I’ll die with you and definitely won’t be having you dug up.”
Faith smiled satisfied with the answer and then turned to the duo, “Well you two want to get some food? We can wait outside while you guys get your clothes issue sorted out.”
Buffy smiled for the first time, “I’m hungry. You want some food Spike? I don’t know exactly what you are… I let you choose in a way.”
Spike replied, “We will be out soon.”
Faith and Robin left leaving Buffy staring at Spike. Spike repeated her words as the door closed, “What I am exactly? What did you do exactly? What was your wish?”
Buffy replied as if nothing was wrong, “I wish for Spike to return in whatever form he would be happiest in, right in this very room.”
Spike didn’t know what to say so Buffy continued, “What form were you happiest in?”
Spike shrugged, “I guess whatever form you liked the best. Of course I love being a vampire. I couldn’t stand being weak and helpless and mortal. So that was a given hence why the vampire form. I went to all the trouble to get a bloody soul so I’d like to think that stuck. Perhaps we can have Red check that out. I wouldn’t want a chip again so can I hit Wood to see if my chip isn’t there? I promise I won’t kill the guy. Just want to knock him around a bit.”
Buffy laughed, “Sure just warn him first?”
Spike went over to her bag and took out some clothes handing them to her, “Best get dressed, pet. Faith and Robin probably aren’t the most patient.”
Buffy nodded choosing a pink tank top and black pants. She started to pull off Spike’s shirt and he turned around. She laughed thinking of how she got the shirt on in the first place. She whispered, “You can turn around I guess. You just saw me.”
Spike shook his head keeping turned around, “Temptation pet. We’d never get out of here.”
Buffy laughed and pulled the top over her head and then went to work pulling on some underwear and her pants on. She handed Spike his shirt and he turned around pulling it back on taking a sniff noticing it smelt of her.
He grinned and leaned down to pull his duster on as she put her socks and boots on. He offered her a hand and she accepted it and he pulled her to her feet. He turned towards her, “Let’s go. I’ll need some blood eventually. I’m feeling quite peckish.”
Buffy nodded and followed him out of the door.
Buffy gasped and pushed Spike against the wall before noticing he didn’t dust. She stood there and whispered, “It wasn’t a dream. It was a vision.”
Everyone was staring at her and then their eyes got even bigger at Spike as he stood with a little ray of sunlight over his head.
Robin stated, “What the Hell? You aren’t dusting. Why aren’t you dust?”
Buffy repeated, “The dream was a vision.”
Spike shook Buffy getting her to look at him and he said, “What did you do now Buffy?”
Buffy shook her head repeating what her mom had told her, “It was our gift to our two living champions. The gift of immortality.”
Spike blinked, “I’m immortal? I’m the powers-that-be’s champion? Surely that’s not right. Are you sure?”
Buffy shrugged and grinned, “I think so. Hit Robin for me please?”
Spike shrugged and slugged Robin not feeling a thing. Spike chuckled, “All right! No chip! No pain! I’m totally and completely back!”
Faith couldn’t process this information but instead said, “I’m hungry. Can we figure this out later on?”
Buffy ate all that was on her plate and nibbled on some of what was on Spike’s plate. He grinned at her, glad to see her eating.
Faith laughed, “Well you get your dead guy back and your appetite comes back. Surprise, surprise, B.”
Buffy smiled and Spike responded, “You really weren’t eating because I wasn’t around?”
Buffy shrugged and Faith continued, “As much as I really hate to get in the middle of you two’s relationship, I want B happy. She was miserable when you weren’t around. Giles called me worried to death saying he thought the girl was suicidal for goodness sakes. She apparently wasn’t eating in England either and first night here, she ate about 10 bites if you count crumbs as bites. She wasn’t taking care of herself. She was pretty much as dead as a vampire.”
Robin frowned at Faith but said nothing and turned to watch Buffy and Spike’s reaction. Faith went to pay and Spike turned to Buffy and said, “I let you live a normal life. Angel said you wanted one and deserved one and he was right, you deserve better.”
Buffy’s temper flared and she ran outside the restaurant as tears started to fall. She walked towards the cemetery hearing Spike’s footsteps catch up to her. He fell in step beside her as he always did. He always was in sync with her, even when she didn’t know it or understand it.
They walked in silence until she finally said, “I was doing the best I could and Angel was busy ruining my life. He left because he thought I wanted a normal life but what I really found was that I wanted you. Angel was always doing what he wanted to do saying it was best for me. I’m a grown up. I think I know what I want and no one should have the right to choose for me. I’m the slayer, so I’ll never be normal. I can’t just be a normal human being who cuts herself and has to bandage herself up to heal. I can’t just go out on dates without killing vampires. I can’t even manage to mourn without dying.”
Spike blinked at that statement and saying, “You can’t mourn without dying? What does that mean?”
Buffy shrugged but Spike wouldn’t accept that answer, “What do you mean dying? You died again?”
Buffy nonchalantly answered, “Five times and counting. Well if you count the almost death that Willow took the bullet out of me.”
Spike shook his head ticking off the deaths, “Master equals one, well drowning, having been drained by your poofter boyfriend, being shot by Warren and jumping for Dawn. That’s four.”
He shook her again saying, “You let yourself die again when I died didn’t you?”
Buffy suddenly looked very sorry, “Yeah, but I was sent back saying I had some great destiny. Some vampire in the graveyard fed on me but I was sent back.”
Spike pulled her hair up and noticed she had no marks at all on her, not even Dracula’s, Angel’s or the master’s. In fact she felt completely innocent and not bitten at all. He whispered, “How? Your bite marks are gone Buffy. You smell fresh and innocent. You don’t smell even like a normal Slayer.”
Spike closed his eyes and tried to sense her. He could sense his Buffy was in front of him and his slayer sense tingled but she didn’t smell like a slayer. He whispered, “What did you do to us? Are we even normal?”
Buffy shrugged, “I did the best I could Spike. I wanted one thing. I wanted to be selfish for just a few minutes of my life. I wanted you. Was that so bad?”
Spike shook his head and began to walk again and Buffy fell in step beside him. Spike said, “Let’s go fight us some demons. I need violence to feel alive.”
Buffy didn’t say a word but she felt the same way.