“Be careful of your thoughts. Thoughts become words.
Be careful of your words, Words become actions.
Be careful of your actions. Actions become habits.
Be careful of your habits. Habits define character.
Be careful of your character. Character defines destiny!”
~ Unknown
Buffy frowned suddenly realizing something, “I never got you blood. Oh I’m so sorry and it’s too late now. God I’m such a bad girlfriend. Day one of you being back and I’m trying to kill you.”
Spike shrugged not wanting to admit how bothered he was, “I can’t die I guess so it doesn’t really matter.”
Buffy sat quiet for a moment, snuggling deeper into his arms, while she thought. She gave her blood willingly to Angel but then again it was to save him. She had tried every other option including killing Faith but the only option she had left was to give him her blood.
She gave to Dracula willingly. Well actually she was under a thrall so that wasn’t willingly and the Master had stolen the blood.
She had given it to the vampire the other night willingly but she wasn’t herself. Now she was herself.
Spike wasn’t going to die but he was going hungry and it was her fault. She felt bad and she wanted this relationship to be right this time and by starving him, that wasn’t making things right. She could never manage to make things right but at least tonight she could feed Spike.
She whispered, “Spike?”
Spike replied, “Buffy, luv, what is it?”
Buffy took a deep breath and spoke in a rushed tone, “Iwanttofeedyou.”
Spike sat up in bed dropping his arms down to not hold Buffy anymore as he stated, “What did you say?”
Buffy repeated herself only slower feeling a little more confidence, “I want to feed you.”
Spike repeated still in shock, “Feed me? What does that mean?”
Buffy responded as calmly was possible although her heart was racing, “I didn’t get you food. You’re hungry. If you drink from me even a little goes a long way. I’ve heard you say that before.”
Spike blinked, “Um Buffy not to insult you or anything but I haven’t had human blood in over 2 years and I don’t remember that so much. Before that it was closer to 4 years almost 5. I don’t know if that’s such a good idea. I’m used to otter or pig now.”
Buffy giggled a little, “Otter? Angel drinks otter blood?”
Spike nodded and Buffy continued, “Well I seriously don’t mind you drinking a little from me. It could be like your welcome home present. I really want you to drink from me. I want to give you my blood.”
She hesitated then looked into his eyes whispering, “Please Spike?”
Spike sighed knowing he could never resist her pleading eyes. The Summers’ eyes were deadly.
He closed his eyes for a minute praying to whatever powers-that-be who existed that this wasn’t a bad idea. Then he opened them looking into her green eyes that seemed so sure of this action. He whispered one more time, “You sure pet? It will hurt.”
Buffy whispered, “I’m sure you will be as gentle as possible. I just really want to share it with you.”
Spike spoke in hushed tones, “You have no idea what it means to have you trust me to bite you and stop in time.”
Buffy smiled and tilted her head to the side but Spike had other ideas how to do this. He wanted it to feel good for Buffy. Spike knew he wanted it to be something she never forgets in her forever on earth.
He titled her head towards his and kissed her. Buffy eagerly turned in his arms and kissed him back trying to pour everything she was feeling into the kiss so he would feel sure she wanted this. He felt the gentleness of the kiss yet the passion that was in it as well.
Spike and Buffy kissed and kissed and kissed until he was so lightheaded he would have sworn he needed air. Her hands left his neck and venture downward over his back tracing her nails lightly down the trail she was taking.
Spike heard Buffy moan although the only part of her that he was touching was her neck and lips. She moved to completely straddle him as she deepened the kisses trying to move her body as close as possible to his.
As Spike felt her rubbing herself against his erection, he let out a deep and loud groan. He felt himself fighting the urge to take this to the next step but he was mostly afraid.
He hadn’t slept with Buffy since the night in the bathroom. It hadn’t been completely mutual and he still felt horrible about it. Spike was sure she still had to have nightmares about him doing such things to her but based on her movements and the fact she was pulling his shirt up and over his head, she didn’t seem to have such nightmares.
He groaned into the kiss and moved his hands to lift her tank top as well. Buffy eagerly helped and then hugged him close to rub her breasts against his chest. Spike groaned again and couldn’t resist a glance down to see her naked from the waist up. He whispered softly, “So beautiful. It’s been so long and you are still as beautiful as I remembered.”
Buffy closed her eyes after seeing the passion in Spike’s eyes and let his words flow over him.
Usually in their sex fests, number one, they weren’t gentle and number two, she made him be quiet. Sure sometimes he didn’t listen and did manage to say a few nice things during the act. At those times, she was just so focused on getting off she didn’t stop him but she had never welcomed them but this time would be different.
Spike waited taking in a deep breath that wasn’t required. He was waiting for Buffy to yell at him or snap at him for telling her how he felt during sex but it never happened.
He watched Buffy’s eyes closed in passion and she opened herself up fully for his actions. By now she would have usually been pulling clothes out of the way, never removing them just to get them both off.
He felt a smile form on his face as he imagined that perhaps she really did love him and finally would let him love her the way he always wanted to.
That gave him hope and turned him on even more so he kissed her lips deeply, feeling her gasped from the pleasure of someone kissing her so passionately.
Her hands moved to cup his face as she kissed him again with such passion herself. He groaned into the kiss and then peppered her face and ears and neck with kisses. He didn’t want to bite her yet. He wanted to enjoy her body.