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Chapter 4

Spike was sitting at the table, the food growing colder by the minute. She had been in the bathroom for at least an hour. He had no clue what was taking her so long. Of course, if he hadn't had a shower in a couple of weeks, he too would take a while, but only half the length of time she was taking. He knew he should have waited longer to cook the steaks.

Spike got up from his seat and was heading for the bathroom to see if she was alright. He turned the corner to the hall and collided with her tiny form.

Buffy ran into his chest, letting out a small 'Oomph' before she grabbed his arm for balance. "Spike? What are you doing?" She asked him, one hand clutching his arm and one splayed on his chest.

He couldn’t take his eyes off of her. She was glorious. Gorgeous. Effulgent. Her hair was hanging down on her shoulders in light brown waves, her skin was clean and glowing, and her scent was purely tantalizing. All he could do was stare at the blond, slightly damp, bombshell.

She looked into his eyes and watched the emotions swirl around. She saw admiration, wonderment... Longing? She had never been looked at like that, it was unnerving her. She took her right hand off his arm and waved it at his face. "Spike? Earth to Spike!"

He snapped out of his daydream with a shake of his head. "Uh" He cleared his throat and took his hands off of her shoulders. "Sorry. I came looking for you. You were taking a while." He brought his hand up and ran it through his hair. "Dinner is getting cold."

She nodded at him and he put his arm out to point her in the direction of the dining room. With her in front of him, he adjusted himself to relieve the tightness in his pants.

________________________

Dinner had gone smoothly. Buffy all but devoured it, mumbling her praise to Spike about the taste. *Like I'd give my girl anything but the best... Wait, not my girl. She doesn't want you, mate. She’s not your girl* He thought to himself as he cleared the table. "Feel free to go pick out a movie or something. I'll join you in a minute." He said with a soft smile and left the room.

Buffy entered the living room and her eyes popped. *Wow* About two feet from one wall was a large black leather couch, a love seat beside it forming an L shape, blood red satin throw pillows at the corners. A glass table sitting on a chrome stand, the glass tinted a opaque black, with silver coasters on the top, was in front of the couch, a book shelf stuffed full of books behind the couch against the wall. Across from the couch was a 41" plasma wide screen TV that was wall mounted above a medium sized entertainment unit with glass doors. Inside the entertainment unit was a PS3 and a DVD player on the top shelf and rows of games and DVD's on the bottom shelf. On one of the side walls there were shelves full of cds.

Buffy smiled and walked around the leather couch, running her hand along the back as she soaked up the room. She walked over to the entertainment unit and opened the glass doors gently to look through his movies. Like a typical manly man, he had mostly action, horror and car movies. Crammed way at the back was the movie The Notebook. Inspecting the cover she decided that was what she wanted to watch. She walked back to the couch and her feet met with a soft white woolly carpet. She smiled and curled her toes up, feeling the softness caress her skin.

She sat down on the leather couch, put a pillow on her lap and started to read the back of the movie case. "What did you pick out, luv?" Spike asked and set down two cans of Pepsi, a bowl of popcorn and a bowl of dill pickle chips.

"Thanks. I picked out The Notebook." She smiled and held it out to him.

"Alright." He said and went to go put the disc into the DVD player.

"That's it? No arguments?" She said with a raised eyebrow.

"Nope, I kind’ve like this movie. It’s nice."

"Wow. I expected you to grumble about it being 'poncy' or 'poofy' or whatever you bloody Brits say." She said and took a sip of her Pepsi.

"Oi! I don’t say poofy." He grumbled and settled in beside her and put the bowl of popcorn on his lap.

________________________

"Stop the movie." Buffy said sternly, closing her eyes and clenching her hands into fists.

Spike picked up the remote and paused the movie. It was only half way in. "What’s wrong, pet?" He asked her with a concerned look.

"Nothing. I'm tired." She said and stood up. "I want to be alone. I can take the couch."

"Elizabeth." He said and stood up in front of her. "Talk to me." He brought his hand up and gently placed it on her cheek, turning her head so she could look at me. "Tell me what’s wrong."

"It's nothing. That scene just... brought up some bad memories. That's all."

"Wanna' talk about it?" Spike pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her and resting his chin on her head.

Buffy was about to push him away, but she felt warm, safe, comfortable and cared for there. She hadn't felt that in a long time. She felt alive. Like someone actually wanted to know if she was okay. Quickly making up her mind, she pulled back slightly and looked up at Spike, making sure he was looking into her eyes."Kiss me." She whispered pleadingly.

"What? You want me to.."

"Kiss me." She said again, cutting him off.

"You don't want to ta--" He was cut off by her lips crashing against his.

It was like electricity, a tiny spark to her lips that quickly rippled through her body in jolts. His soft lips massaging hers in a passionate kiss. She felt as if she was on fire. Her skin was slowly raising in temperature as he softly placed his hands on her hips and pulled her body tightly to hers, allowing her to feel his growing erection. Quickly, her fingers went the hem of his shirt and brought it up over his head, breaking the kiss to pull the shirt over his head.

They stood looking at each other, panting from the intensity of the kiss. She reached for her shirt and started to raise it up to take it off. "Wait." Spike said and stopped her hands with his own.

"Why n--" Her words turned into a moan as he started to kiss her again, sweeping his tongue across her bottom lip for entrance.

He took the material in his grasp and pulled up slowly, letting his kisses trail from her lips, to her jaw line, to her neck. "Are you sure about this, pet? We don't have to do any--"

"Yes. Do it." She said with a breathy voice. "Please."

He nuzzled her neck again before he pulled her shirt completely off. He leaned back to look at her and was greeted with already bare breasts. *No bra? She must have put it in the wash with her other clothes.*

She watched him as the arousal filled his blue eyes, turning them into dark pools of lust. She brought her hands up and touched his muscular torso, loving the way his muscles seemed to twitch under her touch.

"Fucking sexy."

"Bloody gorgeous"

They spoke at the same time. Buffy let a wicked grin slowly appear on her lips as she thought of the things she was going to do with his body. Suddenly, Spike found himself with a very horny Buffy wrapped around him. Her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. "Take me to your bed, Spike." She whispered into his ear then nibbled the lobe.

He just groaned and started to walk towards his room, then to his bed. He put Buffy down gently and started to kiss his way down her neck to her chest. He took a nipple into his mouth and bit down softly. Buffy moaned and put her hands in his hair as he switched to the other nipple, rolling his tongue over it. He desperately wanted to just release his hard cock from his increasingly constricting jeans and pound into her, but he wanted to make sure she was ready and received a good set of foreplay in the mean time.

She was dripping wet. This would be the third time she has had sex, but it never started out or felt like this. The way he was kissing and nipping his was down her body was driving her insane with need. When his hands came to the waistband of her sweat pants she lifted up her hips to give him some assistance, excitement climbing as her pants slid down further.

As he slipped her pants off he inhaled her musk deeply. She was already wet for him and his mouth watered at that thought of tasting it. He ran his legs up her smooth legs and parted them at the knees. Kneeling on the floor between her legs he dipped his head and let his tongue slide up her folds, capturing her sweet juice on his tongue. They moaned in unison as he started to devour her whole, alternating between flicking her clit and thrusting his tongue into her channel as far as it would go.

Buffy arched her back as Spike added two fingers into the mix. "Oh, Spike... guuuhh!" She moaned as she squeezed her thighs together, trapping his head between them. Feeling herself near orgasm, she fisted her hands into the sheets. "Oh god... Oh! I’m gunna... I’m gunna...ooh...come!"

When he heard her moan her impending orgasm, he doubled his efforts. Flicking her clit faster and quickening the pace of his fingers, curling up to probe her g-spot. She started to moan louder so he extracted his fingers, replacing them with his tongue, catching her juice as she came.

As the tremors in her body started to fade, she reached down and pulled his hair up so he was looking at her. "Fuck. Me. Now!" she growled.

"No need to tell me twice!" he said as he striped his pants and socks off. He pushed her up so that they could both fit on the bed. He settled in on top of her and was about to thrust in but then stopped. "Condom." He sighed and went to pull away to get one.

"No. It's ok, I had the Depo shot just before I got kicked out. Good for a year or two after the shots are stopped. Please, I need you inside."

He nodded and settled back on top of her as she wrapped her legs around him. "Slowly... This is only the third time I've done this." She said and guided him to her entrance.

He nodded again, afraid to use his voice. He slowly pushed into her. They both took a sharp intake of breath as he sank in deeper.

*God, she's so tight!*

*Uhh... He's so big!*

Finally he thrust the rest of the way in and stilled his movements. "You okay, luv?" He asked and kissed her softly on her lips.

"Yeah... Go... Move, please!" She gasped as she wiggled her hips, begging for friction.

He kissed her again as he started a slow rhythm. With one arm holding him from crushing her, he used his other hand to play with one of her nipples. As the kiss deepened and grew with passion, his thrust picked up pace, hitting her at the perfect angle to cause his pubic bone to grind on her clit. She broke the kiss so she could take in some much needed oxygen.

"Uhh, Elizabeth. So bloody tight. Hot. Perfection." He said as he caught her nipple between his teeth.

"Feels... So good! Spike, fuck me! Harder! Faster!"

Obeying her commands, he lifted up a little and unhooked one of her legs from his waist and put it on his shoulder, changing the angle and giving him easier access to her clit. Her moans became louder as he worked his thumb against her nubbin, bringing the closer to the edge.

"I'm so close baby! Just like that! Uhhhhn!!" She moaned and thrust her hips to meet his.

He looked down and watched his cock disappear into her almost-virginal quim and felt his building climax. "Come for me, luv. You're making me feel so good. You like this, Elizabeth? You like my cock thrusting into your tight quim?"

"I love it Spike. Uhh! Feels Ama--" Her orgasm took her by surprise, making her scream instead of finishing her sentence.

He felt her body tense and the flutter of her walls. He let himself go and spilled his seed inside of her. He collapsed on top of her, leaving them intimately joined. "That was amazing, Elizabeth." He said and kissed her forehead.

Buffy looked up at him and nodded. Then she abruptly burst into tears.

Chapter 5

"Elizabeth?" Spike asked as shook her a gently. "Pet, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you? Do you regret it?" She wouldn't stop crying, so instead of asking her what was wrong, he pulled her into a hug. Holding her lightly and whispering soothing words.

She couldn’t control it. The tears she had been holding in for the last 6 months came pouring out. All her angry, frustration and sadness had finally consumed her until there was nothing more than a sad little girl, crying on Spike's shoulder. 'That's what you get for bottling everything up, idiot!' she scolded herself. Her parents, they never really tried to care for her. She was constantly traded from nanny to nanny growing up. Her father was always gone on some corporate bullshit and sleeping around with anything that walked and had boobs. He never made any attempt at all to be involved with her life. He would hardly even acknowledge her when she was around. Instead of trying to get him to take notice on her life, she had just let herself fade to the background.

Her mother was an alcoholic. Always drinking some sort of liquor, finding some young boy-toy, screw said boy-toy's brains out in a sleazy motel, then come home and sleep off the alcohol. Buffy knew she was always drunk and sleazy because Hank was always trying to cover it up so he could save his career. To keep that 'perfect family' facade everyone loved. He always found a perfect excuse. She guessed her parents had an agreement to stay married yet screw the rest of the world population in the meantime. Her mother ignored her most of the time, only intervening when Buffy didn't date the right boy or wasn't getting the best grades in school.

To say she violently disliked her parents would be describing her feelings lightly. She never understood why they could be so neglectful to her, yet run her life at the same time. It was driving her crazy because she had all of this guilt for not being a good daughter and for hating her parents.

Then there was Angel; her life, her salvation, her godsend. He was always there for her. Picking her up when she was down, and helping her put her life together. She missed him terribly and wanted nothing more than to be back with him. She couldn't find him though. She looked everywhere. His house in Sunnydale, his father’s in L.A, his brothers in Colorado and now she was in New York. She had used up the rest of her money in her bank account for bus tickets and this is where she had to stop. This is where she decided she would start her life without her parents and without Angel.

Sobs were taking her body over, and she started to shake. She noticed Spike had slipped his shirt over her head to try to cover her up. She was grateful for that. She knew why she had attacked him like that earlier. She knew it was wrong to do but she couldn't help it. He was creating new feelings, and she couldn't understand them. Instead of trying to figure it out, she took drastic measures and pretty much raped him in the living room. She hated herself for that, she shouldn't have done that.

She was crying for a good 20 minutes when she finally trusted herself to speak. "I'm sorry, Spike." She said and pulled away from his embrace to go to the couch.

"Aye! Where are you going?" He asked and took her wrist in his hand.

She wrenched it back and stared at him grimly. "Don't touch me. I'm leaving. Thanks for letting me have a shower and dinner." She said as she started to get dressed.

“Elizabeth. Please don't go. We have to talk about what just happened. You can't just shag a bloke silly, burst into tears then leave. I'll probably end up with a complex. Tell me what’s wrong. Trust me." He said and got up, she shot him a daring look he held up his hands in surrender. "I won't touch you. I swear."

"I don't want to talk. I just want to get my stuff and go." She said and ran her fingers through her hair to get some of the knots out.

"Your clothes aren't dry yet. I still haven't put them into the dryer. Please just stay."

"Stop doing that!"

"Doing what, pet? I'm not doing anything."

"Stop talking to me like you care. No one cares. No one wants me. Not my parents, not Angel, not you. Just leave me alone!" She said and ran out of his room.

He stood there shocked for a minute. 'She doesn't think I care for her? I must be doing something wrong.' He thought to himself. He shook his head, picked up some sweat pants and ran after her, slow enough not to spook her. "Wait!" He called as he caught up to her.

She had ran into the bathroom, slamming the door and locking him out. The tears still hadn't stopped. 'Why can't I stop crying? I don't want to cry. I want to go back to being numb. What is he doing to me?' She thought to herself as she started to pace the bathroom floor.

"I do care for you, don’t you see? I don’t usually invite homeless teens into my home. How old are you anyway." Suddenly he was sweating, what if she is like 16? 'Oh god! You should have figured her age out before, you pillock!'

"Don't worry Spike. I'm almost 18. You won’t get into trouble for statutory rape." She said snidely through the door.

"Okay, good. I’m 22. Wait! No, I didn’t mean that!" he yelled through the door.

"Whatever, Spike. Leave me alone."

"Fine, I'm going to go put your clothes into the dryer, get you a bottle of water and I'll be back." He said and waited for her to reply.

When he got no response he left to go to the laundry room. A million thoughts about Elizabeth were going through his head. Why did she think he didn't care for her? Why had she just burst into tears? She had been responsive during sex, looking and acting like she was enjoying herself like he had. He was totally confused by her actions after he couldn't help but think she was having regrets. He was going to get to the bottom of this, even if he had to talk to her through the door.

He had finished putting her laundry into the dryer and started to go to the kitchen. He was side tracked by the sound of her voice through the bathroom door. Gingerly, he brought his ear closer to the door, resting his hand on the wall beside him.

"I can't fall for him. I love Angel. It meant nothing. Meaningless sex. Meaningless great sex. God, why doesn’t he want to be with me? Why do they always leave? Don't depend in him, he will leave you. Move on Buffy."

She was barely audible, but he heard most of what she said. He started his walk to the kitchen again, more thoughts coming from what she had said. "At least she doesn't regret it" he laughed sarcastically at himself. "He will leave you. She thinks I will leave her. Who's Buffy?" He asked himself and took two bottles of water from the fridge.

He shook his thoughts out of his head. ‘Don't focus on that, mate. Focus on her.' He gave himself a pep talk as he got closer to the bathroom. "Elizabeth, I have water for you. Open the door so I can pass it to you."

"No."

"Okay, I will set it right here on the floor." He bent over and put it down. “Now, I will take some steps back, so you can get it yourself, without me seeing you." He said sadly.

"O-okay." Her words were as shaky as her hands. She reached for the door and opened it slowly. The bottle of water was sitting there like he said it would be, so she grabbed it then quickly shut the door again. "Th-thank you, Sp-ike" She stuttered.

"No problem pet. I did that because I *care* about you." He said and took his place in front of the bathroom door again so it was easier to hear her.

Buffy took a sip of her water and watched the door. She really wanted to fling it open and jump into his arms, seeking solace for her broken heart. She wouldn't let herself though. She refused to become dependent on him in case he didn't want to keep her around. Maybe she could just talk to him. Let him know why she is so broken so she can start to heal herself. She hasn't spoken to anyone since that night 6 months ago. She was broken inside and she wanted to be whole again.

They both stood in silence, looking at the door expectantly. Both were expecting the other to come through to door and accept each other’s company and embrace. The silence was grating on Spike's nerves. He was about to say something when he heard a shaky voice from the other side of the door.

"M-my real name i-is Buffy." She said and took a step towards the door. "Buffy Summers."

"My real name is William Pratt." He said and took a step towards the door.

"I had my heartbroken by my parents, and my first love." She said and took another step.

"Me too." Another step.

"I have a hard time letting people in, because I'm scared. I'm scared to lose myself so completely and end up broken again." She was right in front of the door now. One hand resting on the door as if it was on his chest, and the other on the door knob.

"I know how you feel, pet. I'm right there with you."

"I feel pulled to you." They both said at the same time. "Like I need to be closer to you." Spike said.

"Because if I'm not close to you, I feel cold and alone." Buffy said, more tears coming to her eyes.

"Then come closer, Buffy. I want you to come closer." Spike reached for the door knob.

Before he could get his hand to the door knob, Buffy had already opened the door. "I'm ready to talk." She said stepping closer to him.

"I'm ready to listen." He told her, bringing his hand up to her cheek, brushing away a tear.

"Not just me, Spike. I want to know about you too. I tell you my story and you tell me yours. Please?"

"Yes. I can do that. Come 'ere." He said and pulled her into an embrace. "We will help each other."

She rested her head on his chest and nodded. They were going to talk to each other. They were going to let the other in and talk about their past. Both of them were terrified, but excited to finally have that weight lifted off their shoulders.


Chapter End Notes:
First smut for me!! Hope you readers enjoyed it.



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