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Author's Chapter Notes:
This took me forever to get the way I wanted it to be. For like two days, no matter what I did I couldn't get it to sound right or for the right things to happen. But I got it and I don't think I could make it any better. Thanks for reading = ) Reviews are highly appreciated!
She let out a deep breath and looked into his eyes. "Is it okay if I skip the Mommy and Daddy never loved me part?"

"Start from the beginning, pet," he said and started to rub her upper arm.

"Well, I don't think my parents were too thrilled about having me. I don't even know if my mom kept a single baby book. They were never really around when I was growing up. My dad was always out on some corporate trip, sleeping with his secretaries. My mother, she used to be a high class, always look good, popular with the fellow stepford wives type woman. But as I grew older, and as my dad strayed more, she fell more and more in love with alcohol. She usually locked herself in her room, drinking herself into a stupor, then went out to a local bar and picked up the first college or university boy she could find, fucked the life out of them in a cheesy motel, then came home to her nice cold husbandless bed. I found this out from some of my peers gossiping about what their mothers talk about." She sniffled a little then continued. "We never got along well as a family anyway. Whatever show we put on at my dad's parties or functions that we were forced to attend, was all put on. All a show for his bosses or co-workers. 'Hey, look how fakely perfect my family is,'" she mocked her dad and gave a fake smile.

"I hated celebrating Christmas and Thanksgiving. Any family gathering actually. It always felt fake, all the smiles and the laughter. All of it put on for the holiday. It was nice when I was younger, because it felt like I was finally having a day with my family. But as I grew older I realized I was only being 'graced with their presence' for the day, and the next day I was left feeling like 'what's next? How do I act today?' you know?" She looked at him and he nodded.

She took a deep breath and exhaled. "As I've told you, my parents are upper class. The 'No nonsense, pay your taxes, flaunt your job title' sort of people. My parents even tried to choose my boyfriends. I never liked anyone they chose for me, so naturally I rebelled also. I knew the one way I could royally piss them off would be to date someone who was beneath me in their eyes. So I looked for the cutest guy and pursued him." She looked up at Spike and smiled sweetly. "I never meant to fall in love with him," she said softly, then looked down at her hands.

Spike was racked with jealousy, but his stoic face never faltered. He kissed her forehead and urged her to continue. "Every time me and Angel would fight it would always be about my father..."

~FLASHBACK~

"Why does it always have to be about my family?" Buffy asked him softly as she sat on his bed, wringing her hands as silent tears fell down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Buffy. But I can't deal with how your parents look at me. Like I'm trash. I know I don't deserve you, but not for the reasons they think. You are the kindest, most caring and loving person I have ever known. I would do anything to stay with you. I just can't take how they treat me, you and our relationship. You have to understand," he told her calmly, taking her hands in his. "I love you, Buffy. But I can't deal with this anymore. Us hiding, taking stolen moments with each other. So I'm leaving, I'm going to leave town so that it's less hard on us. I'm sorry Buffy. But we can no longer--"

"Angel! Please don't say what I think you're going to say. Please don't leave me again," she pleaded with him, throwing herself into his arms.

He slowly wrapped his arms around her tiny frame and hugged her to his chest, breathing in the scent of her hair for the last time. "I'll never forget you, Buffy. I never meant to hurt you. Can we be friends?"

Buffy jumped up and looked down at Angel. "Friends?!" she yelled at him, extending her arms out from her sides. "You want us to be 'just friends'?"

He stood up and tried to pull her into another hug. "Yes, I don't want to lo--"

"Lose me? You don't want to lose me? You will never lose me Angel! Don't you see? I gave you everything! My heart, body and soul. What do you do with it? Break it! You broke me... Again," she said and backed away from him crying with more force.

They stood there in silence for a few moments. Both breathing in the last few moments they had together. Buffy stood straighter, wiped her tears and took a deep breath. "Maybe... Maybe my parents are right."

"What do you mean?" he asked and took a step forward.

"About everything."

He went in for another hug, but she pushed him with all the strength she had in her, knocking him down to the floor. "They are right. You're beneath me," she regretted it the second it came out of her mouth. She refused to show it, but she felt it.

With shaky legs, she walked out of Angel's room, out of the front door, then started to run. She didn't stop running until she got to the abandoned mansion that he had promised to buy for her, where he had made love to her for the first and second time. She slowly walked to the master bedroom, then curled up on her bed and cried.

~END FLASHBACK~

She was crying again. Why couldn't she stop? She hadn't cried this much since that night. She hated it then, and she hated it now. She just wanted it all to stop.

Spike pulled her up into his lap and started to rub her back soothingly. "Shh, pet. When you're ready. It's okay, I've got you," he whispered in her ear, trying to be as comforting as he could to the broken girl in his arms.

She looked up at him and he wiped a falling tear from her cheek. "You alright?"

She leaned him and kissed him chastely on the lips, so faint he almost didn't feel it at first. "I'm alright Spike. I have you now," she whispered.

And then she smiled. It wasn't a huge, beaming smile. But it was real. That was good enough for him... For now.





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