It bothered her. The feeling of not knowing. The uncertainty she felt as she packed up what was left in her shack than had been her home for the last 2 weeks.
Spike wanted to help her. That she understood. The thing that got to her, was why Spike was paying for hotel room for her. She was totally thankful for it, but she didn't understand why she couldn't just stay at the shelter he worked at instead. Spike had said something about not having a lot of room there, only one shower, and that most nights she would end up sleeping on a floor instead of a cot. But why was he paying for her to live in a hotel?
No matter how many times she asked him she always got the same answer. "Because I just want to make sure you’re safe. Besides, I have the money to do it. So shut up and appreciate it." He would tell her and add that undeniably sexy smirk.
So she left it alone. He was waiting for her anyway; she didn't want to keep him waiting for long.
When she got all of her stuff into the trunk and slid into the passenger seat beside him, she caught him smiling at her. "What?" She asked and looked the other way.
"It's nothing. Just have a couple of thoughts that I want your opinion on." He said and lit a smoke, exhaling it out of the open window.
She was silent until he pulled the car onto the road and headed toward the hotel. "What kind of thoughts?"
"Thoughts about closure. I think you need it. I need it. Maybe we can do it together."
"What do you mean closure?" She asked and wrinkled her nose at the foul smelling smoke that had escaped being sucked out of the car.
He caught the look she gave to his smoke and he felt bad for smoking in the car with her. Maybe it was time to kick the habit. But he couldn't help but smile at the adorable way her nose crinkled.
"Well for me, I want closure on my parents. As for the Drusilla thing, well I'm already on to healing over that," He said and threw another smile her way. He took another drag of his smoke as he thought of the next words to say. “ And for your closure, I was thinking I could get us a couple of plane tickets, fly out to your hometown and confront your parents. I don't know if I can help you with the whole Angel business, but I would like to try"
"Spike, you already are helping me. Just unloading everything I did on you last night helped me a lot. I uh..." She said and shifted her weight a little, turning her face to look outside the window. "I never told anyone about Angel. He hardly knew anything about my parents either. I never really talk to anyone about my feelings."
"You bottle up your emotions. I get that. It's unhealthy, but I get it." He said and threw out his smoke so he could take her hand in his. "I'm happy I helped though."
"So am I." She said and moved closer so she could rest her head on his shoulder.
The rest of the car ride progressed in comfortable silence. Both of them stealing secretive glances at the other as they carried on with their thoughts.
When they reached the hotel parking lot, Spike went to go get the hotel room booked as Buffy pulled all of her belongings out. She was surprised at how much she had bought for herself since deciding to stay in New York. She had two blankets, some more clothes than she started out with, her stuffed pig Mr. Gordo, candles, her guitar, some tablature books, a guitar tuner, two more notebooks than she started out with and a couple of keep sakes from the journey she had been on inside a shoe box. She piled it on the walkway in front of a couple of rooms and waited for Spike's return.
"Room number 6," He said and passed her the room key, picking up some of her stuff as he led the way to her room. "You never did tell me anything, pet." what she gave him a confused look he went on to explain. "About your opinion. Your opinion about the closure thing. You don't need to worry about money. I have more than I need." She opened the door and he went in and put her stuff down on the bed. "I know your probably wondering why I want to do this with you so bad, but I can't explain it. I can't even try to explain it because I really don't know."
"Can you please try?" She said and sat down beside her stuff.
He knelt down in front of her and took her hands in his."I guess... I guess it's because I want someone to be there with me when I get closure and I figure you might want someone there too."
"I get that. What I don't get is why you want to spend so much money on me. I'm used to scraping by with a little amount of cash and then here you come with a, from what you tell me, impressively big bank account that I don't know how you acquired, and you want to spend a hefty amount of it on me. It makes me feel terrible. Makes me feel like you think I need that from you." She said and looked down at their joined hands. "I just need a friend, I don't need your money. I will admit that closure sounds really nice, but not at your expense."
"If I told you it was part of my getting closure, will it help you feel better?" He said as lifted her chin with his fingers so he could look her in the eye.
"What do you mean?"
"My plan to get closure involves me going to the storage place that has my parents stuff in it, going through it and picking out certain things that I might want to keep, and spending some of their money. Basically moving on with my life. As for the bank account thing, my dad was the owner and operator of a organization called 'The Watchers Council'. They are very popular in London. He hired the best trainers in the world to work for him. They trained ever kind of fighting style you can think of. It's a academy for self defense classes and the like." He took a deep breath and went to sit beside her.
"When I was born, my dad was so happy that he got a will immediately. In the will it said that when he died I could either take over at his job, or take a percentage of the profits and pass the job onto another family member that wants it. I took the percentage and passed the job to my cousin Rupert Giles. I didn't want to stay in England anymore and I knew Giles would take care of it. I tried to get out of the percentage but the stupid bloke wouldn't let me. So that's how I got my 'impressively large bank account'." He said and picked up the stuffed pig that was sticking out of her back pack.
"Mr. Gordo," She said with a faint smile. He raised his eye brow at her and she clarified. "The pig. His name is Mr. Gordo."
"I see." He said simply and raised the pig to cover his face. "So what do you say Buffy? Gunna help a poor bloke out?" He said with a high pitch voice, moving Mr. Gordo's arms as he spoke.
She laughed and hit his arm playfully then snatched Mr. Gordo away from him. "Do you really want me to help you?"
"I don't want you, pet," He said and moved closer to her. She was about to look away from him with a sad look on her face but he stopped her. He looked deeply into her eyes and smiled. "I need you to help me. No one else knows what I'm going through, and I don't feel like spilling my heart out to another stranger."
"Fine, I will help you." She smiled at him and leaned in for a kiss.
"Wait." He said and pushed her back a little. "I want to see that again."
She looked down at her body confused then back at him. "See what?"
"I want to see you smile again."
She smiled and slapped him on his arm again. "You're so cheesy you know that."
"I know, but you love it. Otherwise you wouldn't be smiling right now." He said and ducked the pillow she threw at his head.
"Self righteous jerk!" She squealed and ran over to pick the pillow back up as he advanced on her with the his own pillow.
"No not self righteous. I'm just sure of myself." He said with a smirk and brought the pillow down over her head.
She didn't say anything back, instead she laughed as she attacked him with her pillow.
________________________
She didn't know how long it had been since she had that much fun. She was sure it was with Angel. Although moments of unadulterated fun were few and far between, she had never had that much fun with him. That thought started a whole other chain of thoughts so she decided to stop thinking so much. Angel wasn't a part of her life anymore, not physically anyway. He had a huge role in her life, one that will never be truly forgotten, but she didn't want to dwell on the bad anymore.
It was part of her steps to recovery with Spike. 'That's right,' she thought to herself 'Think Spike. The nice, sweet, charming, unbelievably hot and sexy almost-boyfriend Spike.' She smiled.
That's another thing. She hadn't smiled this much in a long time either. She never wanted this feeling to go away. This budding happiness that was inside her was all to do with Spike. She was determined to keep him around for a long time, and if that meant that she had to bungee jump off it top of the Brooklyn Bridge, she would do it.
That thought scared her. It really scared her because one, she was willing to bungee jump off the Brooklyn Bridge to keep him around, and two, she never felt that way toward anyone before. It made her want to.. "You're not going to pull away from him! You're not going to shut him out! You are going to go with the flow and you're going to be happy doing it. You can take whatever comes next. You can do it together." She said out loud as she lay down on her bed.
She wasn't going to pull away. Spike was the best thing that happened to her since Angel and she wasn't going to loose that by her own doing. No way, no how.
She stood up and sighed. It had been 2 hours since Spike had left her to do her own stuff in the hotel. Her hands itched to pick up the phone to call him but she refused to become dependent on him. She wanted to need him and want him, but be independent doing it.
Instead she went to finish setting up her room, then she would go for a shower. She decided she would call Spike later that night.
________________________
"Hello Harm." He said as she sat down in front of him.
"Hey Spikey! Oh my God, I've been waiting all day to see you! I wanted to tell you that I got promoted today!" She squealed and clapped her hands together.
"That's great Harmony. I'm proud of you. But I needed to tell you som--"
"So I wanted to celebrate! I was thinking we could dress up, go to a couple clubs, dance ourselves into a horny frenzy, drive back to your place and dance some more... Only you know, horizontally." She giggled and picked up her menu.
"As fun as that sounds, I wanted to tell you tha--"
"And if you are wondering, I'm willing to over look you ignoring me for as long as you did. I want my Blondie Bear too much to hold out for long." She leaned over the table to kiss him but he turned him face and she caught his cheek.
"I want to tell you th--"
“What was that all about?" She said and crossed her arms.
"I would tell you but you kee--"
"You have never done that before you know. You’re behaving really weird Spikey. For like a really long time and if yo--"
"HARMONY! SHUT. UP!" She hollered and she squeaked. He didn't care that he had just got half the attention of the other people in the little restaurant. They could mind their own business. "Are you ready to listen to me?" He asked and raised his eyebrow, when she nodded he continued. "I want to break up," He said and raised his hand when she opened her mouth to cut him off. "I tried calling you earlier but you must have been in your meeting getting all promoted. Now, I have met someone else. I'm sorry Harmony, I never wanted to hurt you but this just isn't working out. I'm going to leave you 20 dollars. Buy whatever you want on the menu and eat it on me. Good bye Harm, it was fun while it lasted." He said and got up from the table, placed a twenty dollar bill on the table and left.
What he didn't notice was the incredibly mad blond sitting alone at the table he just left.
________________________
"Hello?" She asked as she answered the phone.
"Hello, luv. I see you called earlier but I was out. Is there anything wrong?" Spike asked and clutched the phone to his ear, prepared to run over to the hotel if he had to.
"No no, nothing is wrong. Just got a little lonely. So I was thinking. Maybe I should get a job. Nothing special, just like... A waitress or something. Just to put some money in my pocket. Then I want to get my diploma. You think that is a good idea?"
"Pet, you know that's a brilliant idea. You didn't even have to ask and you know it." He said and smiled into the phone.
"I know. I just wanted you to know. How was your day?"
"It was good. I was thinking that I should take the next couple of weeks off of work though. Just to get you situated in your room, get over to the storage area with you, then fly out to... what did you call it again?"
"Sunnydale."
"Yes, Sunnydale. Fly out there and talk to your parents. Sound good?"
"It's your job. You can do what you want with it. Are you sure you want to do this though? I mean, I'm not sure how this is going to work."
"Buffy, I haven't seen anything of that belonged to my parents in almost 4 years. It's time that I face my past and come to terms with my parents’ death. I should have done this a long time ago, but I didn't have the balls. Now I do.
"Are you saying that I'm your balls, Spike?"
"Something like that, yeah." She chuckled and shook his head. "I'm just kidding. What I mean is, now I’ve got the support and the strength to do it. Either I’ll become a sodding baby and cry a bunch, or I could tell you about my childhood and my parents. If I go with option number two I’ll be stronger for it you know? Finally tell someone about them so they’re not just a memory to me anymore."
"I understand. I'm glad you want to include me in this."
"Me too, luv." He heard her yawn and decided to let her get some sleep. "It's late, you should get some sleep. But I don't want you to do anything tomorrow. Relax and enjoy your room, okay? I’ll be there around 5:30 to pick you up after I get off work, alright?"
"Mmm hmmm. I will relax tomorrow. I promise. Sleepy now." she whined. "I'm sorry, Spike. I’ll talk to you tomorrow."
"Okay, luv. I missed you today." He said and blushed, happy she couldn't see.
"I missed you too. Goodnight Spike."
"Goodnight." He said and waited until he heard the click of her phone before he hung up.
He leaned back on the shelter bed he slept on when he worked and stretched out. Tomorrow he will wake up, go out on his rounds, talk to Anne about getting a couple of weeks off work, then go and see his girl.
He couldn't hold back the smile that came to him. She wasn't his girl yet, they hadn't made the complete declaration. But he knew it wasn't far from happening.
[Reviews - 153]
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Chapter or Story |
Chapter or Story | 
Chapter or Story
Has been viewed 2740 times
- Text Size +
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Chapter or Story |
Chapter or Story | Chapter or Story - Text Size +
Author's Chapter Notes:
I'm sorry this took me so long! I've been so caught up with everything thats goin gon right now. My aunt is back in the hospital, for the third time in a month. Ive started another story with ive written 2 chapters on. And ive been getting distracted from all of the hott UK boys on BlogTV! *snicker* I ask them to say "Bloody hell"... It's surprising though, because they get asked to say that alot! Anyway, enjoy the chapter! And keep an eye out for my new story called Years Gone By.