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Chapter 3

Spike stepped through the portal, eager to get on with the quest that his Slayer and he had been asked to go on. Personally, he had no desire to clean up after Angelus again, but he knew Buffy would never allow Hell on Earth. Any Earth.

Buffy gave Faith a small smile before she followed Spike. She had just spent thirty minutes listening to Angel rant about Spike, justify his own actions concerning the Senior Partners, and generally make an ass of himself. Buffy was happy to get away from the dark-haired vampire.

Faith watched as the hope for their existence disappeared through the swirling vortex. She let out a sigh before she asked, "Is there any way to watch what's happening?"

"Sure. Just give us a few moments to close the portal," Willow answered. "Can you get us a mirror?"

Faith went to find a mirror in the storeroom. When she returned to the main part of the Magic Box, Willow and Tara were just finishing with Hope and the portal. Faith placed the mirror on a hook on the wall above Giles' desk. The Scoobies plus Angel, Gunn, and Illyria gathered around as Willow said a simple spell to view the Crystal Heart dimension.

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Spike stepped into the sun-drenched dimension. He involuntarily cringed despite having the Gem of Amara.

"Good thing you have that thing again," Buffy said softly when she saw the bleached blond vampire standing in the sun. "You practically glow in the sun."

"Yeah, guess so." Spike smiled. "Time to see if I freckle." He gave Buffy a wink.

Buffy rolled her eyes. She glanced around at the trees. "So, which way?"

Before Spike could answer a seven foot tall white-skinned demon stepped out of the trees. It very much reminded Buffy of one of the clone aliens in one of the Star Wars movies that Andrew had forced on the Scoobies before Buffy had left them.

"Welcome, Slayer." The demon nodded its greeting. "I am Griz." Then, it turned to Spike. "Ah, the vampire who sought his soul. You, my dear boy, are the talk of the millennia."

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"He has a soul?" Willow's jaw dropped.

"Yes, he does," Tara said in a firm voice. "A very nice one by the looks of it." She wasn't quite sure why Buffy wouldn't let her tell the rest of the Scoobies about Spike's soul. She figured it had something to do with Buffy wanting them to accept him just as was, without knowing he had a soul.

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"I'm famous." Spike grinned at Buffy. He wiggled his eyebrows as he curled his tongue behind his front teeth.

"I am here to take you to your first trial," Griz said. "Walk this way." The demon walked away from the Slayer and the vampire in a strange slouching way.

"Is that a joke?" Buffy whispered as she watched the demon's stride. She'd seen enough strange comedy shows.

"No clue, luv." Spike shook his head. He'd seen the exact same shows as Buffy. "Let's get this over with." With that said the blonds followed Griz into a clearing.

Griz turned to face Spike and Buffy. He raised his arms in the air, and in a booming voice announced, "For your first trial you must relive your worst memories."

Buffy gulped. She hoped that Spike's worst memory wasn't what had happened in the bathroom. She didn't want the vampire to relive the guilt that came with that particular memory. Little did she know that Spike was thinking the same thing.

"Who'll go first?" Griz asked.

"I will," Spike replied. He stepped forward. "My worst memory is when I failed Buffy."

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"Failed Buffy," Xander said. "I wonder what he means." His only answer was a shrug from the other Scoobies.

Then, the Scoobies watched as Spike ran up a rickety tower to where a young girl was tied. They gasped when the blond vampire was casually tossed over the side. More than one of them gasped in horror as the girl -- that they realized was Hope's counterpart-- bled, and the portals to Hell opened.

"Oh, my God," Faith gasped. "She's gonna have to kill her sister." The dark-haired Slayer was glad that here in her dimension that they had fled Sunnydale when Glory had appeared.

The Scoobies leaned forward as Buffy spoke to her sister for a few moments before she ran to the edge of the tower, and she launched herself out into the portal opening. The scene changed to the Scoobies gathered around Buffy's body. A broken, bloody Spike crouched in the shadows crying.

"She sacrificed herself," Hope murmured. "Do you think that had something to do with the resurrection she mentioned?"

The Scoobies turned to Hope with renewed horror.

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"I can't believe you're still feeling guilty about that," Buffy said in a soft voice. "I never blamed you."

"I know, pet." Spike put his arm around Buffy. "If I had done as I promised, none of the next two years would have happened."

"Maybe, maybe not," Buffy sighed. "You were right about one thing. I had a death wish." She gave Griz a sad smile. "My turn. I know what mine worst memory is without you even showing me."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I wonder if that's Buffy's worst memory, too?" Willow said. "I would think dying would be at the top of mine."

The Scoobies watched as the scene in the mirror changed to Spike and Buffy standing a dark cavern. The vampire glowed like the rising sun. The gang was unsurprised at the love on the blonds' faces, but they gasped when Spike and Buffy's clasped hands burst into flames.

"That had to hurt," Anya stated. "Vampires are way too flammable." She gasped. "She's leaving him."

"He's burning up," Giles said. "What is he doing? Why didn't he go with her?"

Tara tilted her head. "He's saving the world." She blushed when the others looked at her. "In his memory, he was still soulless, but in hers he had it. I could see it."

"Why would that idiot get himself cursed?" Angel muttered in a fit of jealousy. Spike always was a follower.

"It's not a curse," Tara said. "The soul is William."

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"So, um, how is this a trial?" Buffy asked when her memory stopped.

Griz looked at the Slayer with a solemn gaze. "What if I told you I have the power to change one of these events?"

Buffy's eyebrow shot up. "What's the catch? There's always a catch!"

"No catch," Griz said. "I can change one of these events, and you will go live your life as if this trial never happened."

"What about Faith and the others?" Buffy asked.

"They will all die when the demons overwhelm their world," Griz replied.

"Let's go talk, Spike." Buffy led the vampire to the other side of the clearing. "What do you think?" she asked in a very serious tone.

"As much as I want to change your death, Slayer," Spike said thoughtfully. "Without the Slayerettes, our own dimension would be overrun like the Rogue's."

Buffy nodded in agreement. "If I stop your death, the Uber-vamps would have overrun everything anyway."

"What's past is past." Spike smiled. "Without our experiences, we'd be different people."

"We don't want to change anything," Buffy called out. "Our past together is what it is. All of it is important."

"Excellent choice," Griz announced. "You passed the first trial."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"That was a trial?" Angel scoffed. "Nothing happened."

"Maybe not to you," Tara said. "I'm pretty sure it was significant to them." She indicated the pleased looks from Spike and Buffy in the mirror.

"It takes a strong person not to correct a past tragedy," Illyria said in her cool voice. "Most mortals would have taken the demon up on his offer."

"Most of us have at least one thing we would like to change," Giles agreed. He thought about the friend he and his other buddies had sacrificed to Eyghon, just for the sake of more power.

"Sometimes, I wonder what it would be like if Darla hadn't killed Jesse," Xander said. "That would be something I would change."

Willow nodded. "Or if Buffy hadn't died." She furrowed her brow. "Guess we kinda know that one though."

"I talked to Spike a bit," Gunn muttered. "In his world, Cordelia is dead and Fred is Illyria."

Illyria tilted her head. "Fred would have been an adequate shell. No better or worse than this one."

Angel stared at Illyria, a brooding look on his face. She looked so much like Cordelia, and yet, not. "I guess there are things I'd change if I could."





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