Previously on Bring Me To Life…
“You don’ say,” he smirked, his arms banding around her waist and hauling her closer, encouraged by her flirtatious behavior. “However did I manage that, hmm?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” she inclined her head, looking playfully at him through lowered lashes. “Maybe because you didn’t go all fangy and grr on me when I offered you my neck?”
Part 4
Flabbergasted, Spike could only stare at the girl in his arms, completely speechless for the first time in his unlife. Bloody hell! She fucking knew? That he hadn’t expected and right now he couldn’t say what he was more shocked about… the fact the cheeky bint knew what he was or that she hadn’t dusted him on the spot. Or pulled away from his arms for that matter and instead, just looked back at him with a mixture of amusement and pride at having thrown him completely off.
“I-you…” His hands fell from her waist as he took a couple of steps back, his mouth opening and closing as he tried in vain to form any intelligible words.
Buffy had bitten the inside of her cheek not to giggle at the stunned expression on his face, but when he began doing his best impression of Willow’s fishies, she just couldn’t do anything to stop her bubbling laughter.
She could barely recall a time when she’d laughed quite like this, and it definitely hadn’t been in the last few months for sure. It was… liberating; as if she were stepping out of the shadows that had permeated her life since the night she died and came back to life. As if the fragmented shards of her soul were somehow melding back together, giving her the chance to feel more like the Buffy she’d been before, but not quite the same. One couldn’t live through something like that and come back unscathed. She was living proof of that. However, she was better now and it was because of Spike. Who cared if he was a vampire? It wasn’t like it would be a first for her, now was it?
By all rights, the blond vampire knew he should feel offended, or at the very least slightly miffed that she was having so much fun at his expense, but he couldn’t bring himself to. Not when her jade green eyes were shining with mirth, the shadows that had filled them and made them look haunted a little over an hour ago, having all but disappeared. Did it matter that she was laughing at him? No, he answered himself quickly, not at all.
Didn’t mean he couldn’t have a little fun himself, though.
He shook his head, chuckling. “You got me good there, Slayer,” he tilted his head to the side, a little smile playing on his lips, regarding her with interest.
“I did, didn’t I?” she beamed at him, wiping tears of joy from her beautiful green eyes. He noticed the moment she realized what he’d called her, the emerald depths widening and her grin turning into a confused frown.
“Y-you… know?” she asked, rolling her eyes at her own naïveté. But of course he knew; it was clearly etched in the mischievous gleam in his eyes and the playful smirk that teased those sinful lips of his. He wasn’t a mere fledging; he was a vampire in control of his demon. Much more so than Angel ever was of his. He exuded power and sex-appeal, and made her knees buckle with just one glance of those gorgeous baby blues of his. He was more than that, though. He seemed caring and compassionate; how else could she explain why he hadn’t attacked her on the street, or why he helped her even knowing she was the Slayer?
“I do. Had no bloody idea you knew what I was, though, pet.”
“I might not be all that vampire-savvy yet, but cold hands and lack of a heart beat scream man of the undead persuasion to me.” She scrunched her nose in a way he found utterly adorable. “Why didn’t you kill me?”
He blinked. Good question that, he mused. Why hadn’t he? He could’ve if he’d wanted to. Bag his third Slayer without that much of a problem. He hadn’t wanted to, though. The girl drew him in like a moth to the flame and he’d rather be burnt by her radiance, than try to off her. “Kill you? Why would I kill you?”
“Thought me being the Slayer would be enough reason for most vampires.”
“I think you’ll soon learn `m not like most vampires, love.”
She couldn’t stop the warm smile that came unbidden to her lips at his answer. “Yeah, I’m starting to see that.”
He took a step forward, his hand coming to rest softly on her cheek, his azure gaze piercing and intense as it captured hers. She shivered at his touch, at the emotions she could see swirling in his eyes, knowing they were mirrored in hers. Attraction, confusion, desire, longing, need… A deep abiding need to belong to someone, to be one with them. Not just in a physical sense, either. On a deeper emotional level, the likes of which she hadn’t experienced… yet.
“You didn’t answer me, though,” she said, nuzzling her nose in his palm; surprising herself by how much she enjoyed his touch. “Why didn’t you kill me? You know as I do, I probably wouldn’t have fought you… much.”
“Don’ rightly know,” he sighed, his thumb tracing her bottom lip, his pupils dilating until only a tiny sliver of the indigo irises could be seen when the tip of her tongue peeked out to taste his skin. “Or maybe I do… you make me feel things I have no business feelin’. Things I shouldn’ feel, but I just can’ not feel.” He took a deep breath and then asked, “Why didn’ you kill me, love?”
She was floored by his soft, honest admission and his question, her heart beating faster in her chest as she tried to put her thoughts into words. “I-I… wasn’t sure you were a vampire at first and then you didn’t seem, hmmm, inclined to kill me, so I figured perhaps you had a soul, like… you know, Angel?” she supplied, wincing a little at his growl and the way his eyes flashed amber. God, she shouldn’t find that hot, should she?
“`M nothin’ like that soddin’ git.”
“`Kay, so… I take it no soul, then?” she said, a small smile softening her features to show she wasn’t judging him.
“Bloody right, that. No soul.”
“But you know him, right? From before, I mean?”
He exhaled through his nose and nodded. “Yeah, me an’ the wanker go way back. He’s my grandsire.”
She blinked. “Your grandsire?”
“Means he made the woman who turned me into a vampire, love.”
Buffy felt a pang in her chest at the faraway look in his eyes when he mentioned this woman, wondering where she was, what she meant to Spike. “So, you’re kinda like family, then?”
“Sort of, yes.” He shrugged. “Hadn’ seen him in a while, though, an’ we didn’ exactly part in the best of terms.”
Suddenly the brunet vampire’s reaction inside the Bronze made a whole lot more sense to her. Didn’t mean he didn’t deserve to have his ass kicked anyway.
“So, you have no soul and Angel is your grand-whatever.”
He chuckled. “Right.”
“Doesn’t mean you’re evil, though.”
“Doesn’ mean `m not, either,” he smirked.
“Yeah, because an evil vampire can control himself from sinking his fangs into the oh so willing girl’s throat.” She rolled her eyes at him teasingly.
Spike took another step toward her, pressing her against the wall and reveling in her sharp intake of breath, despite knowing it had little to do with fear or maybe because it didn’t. He didn’t know anymore. Didn’t bloody care, either.
“Perhaps I was jus’ lullin’ you into a sense of false security,” he purred, licking the side of her neck and noticing for the first time the twin punctures that marred the otherwise flawless skin. He barely held in the proprietary growl that rasped his throat then, barely suppressed the urge to bury his fangs in her throat and erase any other marks that weren’t his. This was not the time for that, though, and that was the only thing that stopped him from demanding to know who dared hurt his Slayer. “What’s this?” he asked in a hushed whisper, his fingers shaking slightly as they touched the scarred tissue.
Buffy had closed her eyes, unable to control her body’s quivering response to having him so near her neck, to his velvety, enthralling tone, until he asked her about the one thing she’d done her best to block… and had actually managed to, at least for a little while. And just like that the fear, the helplessness she felt back then, came crashing upon her.
He sensed more than saw the change in her. The tension, the rising panic, the trepidation… and called himself all kinds of an idiotic fool for unwittingly being the cause of her pain.
His arms closed around her body when he felt her trying to put distance between them, to escape, and pulled her towards him, his hands caressing her back in soothing circles. Slowly, she stopped fighting him, leaning against him for comfort as her tears started to flow.
He turned them around until his back was resting against the wall, lowering himself until he sat on the ground with her on his lap, promising her that everything would be alright, that he was there for her, that she wasn’t alone in this. Promises he vowed himself he would keep, no matter what.
Buffy could barely believe that a vampire—a soulless vampire, at that—seemed to know exactly what she needed. Her parents, her watcher and her friends hadn’t even known there’d been something wrong with her until it practically slapped them in the face… and some of them still didn’t know. She could barely believe that Spike was letting her cry in his arms, not pressing her to share with him what was wrong, merely holding her, showing her more care than anyone else had since that fatidic night.
She needed him to know, though. Needed to tell him all she had kept bottled up in her chest. Broken, soft words came forth and she told him about the Master, the prophecy, her death, Angel’s betrayal and everything she’d gone through since then.
He listened to her in silence, knowing she needed to let it all out. It took all of his self-control to remain calm—at least on the outside—as he heard her. To stop himself from going into the club and beating the souled wonder into a bloody pulp for the part he’d played in this. He’d never been one for torture, that was more Angelus’ style, but for him he would gladly make an exception. Figures the pompous git couldn’t be bothered with trying to stop Bat-face before he harmed his girl. Spike knew if it’d been him, he would’ve stopped the sodding Master or dust in the intent. Just a couple of hours in her company and he would’ve gladly given his unlife if it meant she could live. If it meant she wouldn’t have to go through this, hurt like this.
His arms tightened around her middle, hauling her even nearer, as he realized how close he’d been to not ever meeting her. He dreaded to think what might’ve happen if her friend hadn’t saved her that night. Dreaded to think he wouldn’t have known her other than as another slayer fallen in the line of duty. Wouldn’t have felt her warmth seep into him, the radiance of her smile illuminating his night, the electricity seizing his body as he kissed her, her fragrance stealing his senses and making him forget a creature of the night like him shouldn’t dream of touching an angel like her.
She didn’t seem to care about that, though. The blonde goddess in his arms was telling him things not even her ‘friends’ were aware of, things she hadn’t shared with anyone else but him, and he felt… humbled by her trust in him. And for that, he fell for her a little more. For her strength, her weaknesses, all the little things that made her who she was. She wasn't just a Slayer, she was a girl. A young girl who’d wanted to enjoy all the simple things in life, to just live her life, but instead had been forced to mature all too quickly, to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders. Who had been forced to face her own mortality, her own demons and came out stronger because of it.
Buffy was mildly shocked—no, scratch that—very shocked by the platinum blond’s behavior. She wasn’t sure how she expected him to react to the whole sordid story of her death and posterior resuscitation, but it wasn’t like this. This quiet understanding of his, the way he’d allowed her to cry her eyes out all over his shirt without complaining even once, the soothing way he cooed and whispered sweet nothings in her ear, in which he touched her and offered her his strength, in which he consoled her in a much more compassionate way than she would’ve given a soulless vampire credit for. He was all she could’ve asked for and more than that, he was all she needed. The depth of her feelings for him scared her yet at the same time reassured her that she’d made the right decision by entrusting him with her deepest secrets.
She sighed softly against his chest when she finished her tale, feeling more than a little drained but lighter than she had in months. Perhaps there was some truth to confession being good for the soul, after all. Of course, it all depended to whom she was confessing it to. Somehow, she didn’t think it would have been the same with Angel.
And wasn’t that a kicker? Spike seemed to understand the depth of human emotion, the depth of her pain, much better than the souled vampire ever had—and boy, if she wasn’t relieved it was the blond man here with her and not the brooding vamp.
“Feel better, pet?” he asked, rubbing her back. The tremulous smile that graced her lips when she pulled back to look up at him, almost blinded him with its intensity.
“Much.” She leaned forward to place a soft kiss on his lips. A kiss that left him wanting for more. “Thank you.”
He shrugged nonchalantly. “I did nothin’, kitten.”
“You did more than anyone else has done for me lately, just by being there for me.”
“Well, figure it’s my job as potential boyfriend, yeah?” He winked at her and she giggled. And bloody hell, if she wasn’t a vision when she smiled, even with her face slightly red and puffy from crying.
“If you keep this up, we’ll be dropping the potential out of that phrase in no time at all.”
“Yeah?”
“Oh yeah,” she responded with a wink.
“Guess I’ll just have to apply myself then.” He cocked his head to the side, turning serious all of the sudden. “So, tell me, where do we go from here, love?”
“Anywhere you want, Spike. Anywhere you want.”
tbc
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Thank you to all of you who keep reading and reviewing! I truly can’t convey how much it means that you’re enjoying this story, especially since I’m having such a great time writing it. And of course, my muse and I are chuffed to bits that we managed to surprise the majority of you with the ending to chapter 3! *wide evil grin*
Un millón de gracias to my lovely betas, Tina and Deanna. I can’t thank you both enough for all you do for me, for your very helpful edits and suggestions. And thanks, as well, to Carrie, for reading the chapters through and offering me very good advice. Your friendship is invaluable to me, my darlings! Love you three to pieces! *huggles*
Un millón de gracias to my lovely betas, Tina and Deanna. I can’t thank you both enough for all you do for me, for your very helpful edits and suggestions. And thanks, as well, to Carrie, for reading the chapters through and offering me very good advice. Your friendship is invaluable to me, my darlings! Love you three to pieces! *huggles*
Chapter End Notes:
I’m more than a bit nervous over this chapter, it turned out quite different than I expected at first. I’d love to read your thoughts on it, if you’re inclined to share them with me.
Hopefully I’ll be able to keep this weekly schedule, if you still want more of this story, that is. ;)
Hopefully I’ll be able to keep this weekly schedule, if you still want more of this story, that is. ;)