Chapter 18

Spike paced the length of the office’s waiting area, beyond nervous about what was going on in the room before him. He wished that he could be in there with her, but knew she had to do this on her own, no matter how much it killed him.

He sighed in relief once the door finally opened to reveal Buffy, her face all red and puffy as if she’d been crying. He went to her instantly, taking her in his arms and kissing her forehead. Glancing up at the red headed woman standing there, he gave her a smile and then focused on Buffy. “Wait for me outside, okay?”

She nodded and walked away, without argument.

Spike turned back to the therapist. “Thanks again for doing this in such short notice, Red. I know how busy you are.”

Willow Rosenberg smiled, waving her hand in the air. “Hey, what are friends for? You’ve always been there for me. I’m glad to help.”

“How is she doing?”

Willow let out a breath. “She’s been through a lot; it was hard to get her to open up. I can’t tell you what we discussed; you’ll just have to wait until she chooses to talk to you. I think she wants to, she’s just scared of how you’ll react.”

He was confused. “Why would that scare her? She knows how much I love her.”

Willow agreed. “I know, but she’s still really young. This is all pretty new to her, Spike. Just give her time; she’ll come around when she’s ready.”

Spike accepted her answer, giving her a quick hug and peck on the cheek. “Thanks again, love.”

“Don’t mention it; I’d like to see Buffy again next week. I think we made a lot of progress today, but everything can’t be solved in only one session.”

He nodded. “I’m sure that can be arranged. I should get going now.”

“You should visit the house more often, Spike. I know Xander would love to see you, it’s been far too long.”

“I would like that, we’ll talk soon,” he said, and with a wave, left to join up with Buffy, hoping that things would finally start to get better for her.


* * * * *


Spike went to open the door when he heard someone knock. He was surprised to see Angel standing there, but took a step back and let the other man into the house, closing the door once he entered.

“We need to talk, Spike. I know I’m still not your favorite person, but you need to know the truth about what happened with Drusilla.”

Spike wondered why he would bring that up after all this time, but only nodded. “Fine, let’s hear it.”

Angel took a deep breath before he began. “I was with her that night because I was upset; I got a call from my dad that my mom passed away. Drusilla was the first person I saw and I confided in her. I was devastated and one thing lead to another, it was never about hurting you. It was just one friend comforting another, and we never meant for things to go that far, or for you to find out the way you did. I know you may not believe me, but I’m really sorry.”

That was the last thing Spike expected to hear, not knowing about his mother. “Dru never told me any of that.”

He nodded. “I made her promise not to say anything. I didn’t want anyone feeling sorry for me. I figured it would be better if you hated me, so I acted like I didn’t care about what happened. I planned on leaving after that, anyway. I figured it would be easier that way. My dad told me that my sister was having a hard time dealing with my mom’s death. I knew he couldn’t handle her on his own, so I went back home to help out. I never told anyone where I was going, I just left. It turned out that neither one of us could really help her.” A pause. “Haley started acting out, disrespecting us, hanging with the wrong crowd; no one could get through to her. It was when she was nineteen that everything fell apart. She met a guy and decided that she was going to run away with him. I tried to stop her, but she never listened to me. My dad was too busy getting drunk most of the time to even realize what was going on with her, he just gave up. She took off and we got a call from the police a few hours later.” Angel felt tears in his eyes as he relived one of his worst recollections, but knew he had to get this off his chest. “They…They found Haley’s body washed up in the river. She was raped and stabbed; someone just killed her and threw her in the fucking water. We think it was the guy she left with, but he was never found again. We didn’t even really know who he was. I’ve wanted vengeance on that bastard for so long now.”

Spike sat down on the couch, stunned by all he just heard. “God, I remember Haley. She used to have a huge crush on me, but she was only thirteen at the time. She used to follow me around everywhere; it was flattering for a while.”

Angel smiled sadly at the memory, taking a seat next to him. “She practically worshipped the ground you walked on. Haley was a good kid; she just lost her way after my mom died. I wish I could have saved her.”

Spike shook his head. “It wasn’t your fault; there was nothing you could have done. You can’t blame yourself for what happened to her, Angel.”

“I just feel like history is repeating itself. That’s why I’ve been feeling so protective of Buffy. That’s all it ever was, Spike. I felt drawn to her because she reminded me of my sister, so young and vulnerable. I went to Ben’s place and beat the crap out of him; I just know he’s the one who hurt her. Of course he denied that he did anything, but I know it was him.”

“It was,” a soft voice responded from the stairs.

Spike stood up and went over to her. “What did you say, pet?”

Buffy took in a breath. “It was Ben. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything before. I wanted to so much, but he said he would hurt you and Dawn if I did. I couldn’t let that happen.”

He wrapped his arms around her, kissing the top of her head. “You don’t have to protect us, baby. I’m supposed to be the one protecting you. It’ll be okay, he won’t get away with this. I promise you that.” He held her tighter, a hard expression on his face as he thought about the man who robbed his girl of her innocence, and threatened to hurt his daughter. Oh, he would pay severely; Spike would make sure of it.





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