Chapter 5
Spike knocked on Dawn’s door, opening it when he didn’t hear anything from inside. He found her sitting up in bed, the stuffed pig that her mother gave her years ago clutched to her chest. He didn’t know what to say, but she beat him to it.
“Why her, Dad? Out of everyone in this world you could have hooked up with, why did it have to be one of my friends? Is she the only one, or have there been others?”
He shook his head, moving further into the room. “She’s the only one. We didn’t plan on this, it just happened. You remember my business trip to LA a few months ago? Well, that was the first time I met Buffy. It was in a bar, and she had me believing that she was twenty-one. We had one night together, she left the next morning, and that was it. We never expected to see each other again, but when I saw her here and realized just how old she was, I was repulsed with myself. Finding out that she’s a friend of yours, but also that she was a teenager? I hated myself after that, but I couldn’t stop wanting her. I guess she felt the same way, I don’t know how else to explain it. I’m sorry about everything.”
Dawn took in this new bit of information. “That doesn’t change the fact you were sleeping with someone who’s only a year older than your own daughter. What if I was the one having sex with a guy your age? How would you feel then?”
Spike shuddered at just the thought of that, seeing her point. “I would lock you up until you’re thirty.”
“Yeah, I imagine Buffy’s parents would feel the same way if they found out about you. Not only that, they would probably have you arrested, no matter what she told them. Did you ever think about what that would do to me?”
He took in a deep breath. “No one is going to find out about this, I’m trusting you not to say anything.”
She rolled her eyes. “Please, like I really want anyone to know that my dad is a huge pedophile.”
Spike clenched his jaw, trying to keep his temper in check. She had every right to feel the way she did, but that didn’t mean he had to tolerate her speaking to him like that. “Buffy will be eighteen soon…”
“And then what?” she said, cutting him off. “You’ll go out in public, hold hands for all to see, get married? I’ll finally have the big sister I’ve always wanted, but wait; she’ll be my step-mother, and only a year older than me, too. Do you not see how seriously messed up that is? Whether she’s legal or not, you two will never have a normal life.”
“I love her,” was all he said, giving her a firm look.
Dawn scoffed. “Right, keep telling yourself that.”
Spike had to leave before he ended up saying something that he would regret. “Get some rest; we’ll talk about this in the morning.” He left the room, closing the door behind him and resting his head against it, wondering just what tomorrow would bring.
* * * * *
He didn’t get any sleep all night, too concerned about what Dawn said, and too worried about Buffy. Spike wanted to talk to her, but didn’t think he would be welcome right now. Making things right with Dawn would have to be his first priority. He may be in love with Buffy, but Dawn was still the most important person in his life, nothing could ever change that. He knocked on her door, once again hearing nothing but silence inside, but this time when he opened it, the room was empty.
* * * * *
Buffy was surprised to find Spike on her doorstep, and confused as to why he would show up there after what happened the day before.
“What are you doing here?” she wondered.
“Dawn is missing. We talked last night, things were said and when I went to check on her this morning, she was gone. I was hoping that maybe you knew where she was.”
Buffy shook her head, concern for her friend clouding her features. “I haven’t seen her, and right now, I’m probably the last person she would go to, but Connor might know where she is.”
Spike nodded and led Buffy to his car; they had a girl to find.
* * * * *
“Where the bloody hell is she?!”
Connor took a step back, not about to let the older man intimidate him.
Buffy placed a calming hand on Spike’s arm. “It’s really important that you tell us, Connor. She could be hurt.”
He shook his head. “Dawn made me promise not to tell. I don’t know why, but she’s really mad at both of you. I don’t want her to get mad at me, too.”
Spike grabbed the boy by his shirt, getting into his face. “If you don’t talk, that will be the least of your problems.”
Connor gulped. “Okay, but you didn’t hear it from me. She said she was going to see her mom, that’s all I know.”
Spike let him go, turning back to Buffy. “I know where she is.”
* * * * *
They found her at the cemetery, laying in front of a tombstone, tears streaming down her face.
Spike walked over to Dawn. “We really need to talk.”
She sat up, wiping at her eyes and noticing that Buffy was standing behind him. “I’ll make things easier for you. I want to stay with Aunt Jenny.”
“Look, I know you’re upset, but running away isn’t going to solve anything.”
She laughed humorlessly. “You’re really one to talk. You ran away a long time ago. I can’t even talk about Mom anymore without you biting my head off. At least at Jenny’s house, a part of her is still alive. I just can’t be here anymore.” Dawn stood up, moving over to Buffy. “I need to know one thing,” she started, taking a deep breath. “Were you ever really my friend?”
Buffy couldn’t stop her tears from falling. “Yes, of course I was. You’re the only real friend I’ve ever had, things were never supposed to be like this. I’m so sorry, Dawn.”
She nodded. “I guess there’s nothing that can be done about it now. You were the one I trusted more than anything. I would have expected this from Faith, but not you. You knew how I felt going to that school and dealing with disgusting comments from everyone about my father, you’re even worse than them.” Dawn glanced back at Spike, giving him one more look. “I already called Jenny and she said that she would be happy to have me. I’m leaving first thing tomorrow.”
Spike watched her walk away, not doing anything to stop her. He could see the anguish clearly written on Buffy’s face, moving to comfort her, but she wouldn’t allow it. “So, is this how it’s going to be now? You won’t even let me touch you?”
“It has to be. This was all a big mistake, Spike. We never should have gotten involved again. Look at what it cost us? Your daughter and my friendship with her, none of this is worth that. We can’t see each other anymore.”
Spike shook his head. “I won’t accept that. I know Dawn better than you do. She’s feeling betrayed and heartbroken right now, but she will come around. She’s not actually going to leave. We can still make this work, Buffy. I love you.”
Buffy didn’t think it was possible, but that made her cry even harder. “I…I don’t love you. I have to go,” she said through her tears, running out of the cemetery and not looking back.
Spike was left standing there, his whole world falling apart.
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