Buffy and Spike hadn't talked since that night. Every time he went to talk to her, she would either ignore him or be called away from him. He noticed Willow trying to talk her into doing something, but she kept shaking her head vigorously. He knew then that they were talking about him.
Willow was trying to talk her into speaking with him, but Buffy wasn't ready. Just looking at him from afar was tough for her. Her strength wavered, her eyes watered, and her heart broke a little more.
Buffy had explained the whole situation to Willow, spilling all of the details of her heartbreak and how much it hurt, how badly she still wanted to be with Spike and how she wanted to trust him again, but she didn't know what to think. What's worse is that she was ready to just forget everything that had happened, but that nagging feeling in her stomach, that little twinge, was telling her that something, some little morsel of what Drusilla had told her, was true.
Willow had been the supportive friend, telling Buffy that she hated Spike, hated Drusilla more, and that she was totally on Buffy's side. But the more Willow thought about it, the more she knew that Spike was being sincere and that he wasn't the bad guy. Willow wanted nothing more than to see her happy. To see them both happy. They deserved that in every way.
Willow fought against Buffy's words, trying to tell her that Spike wasn't lying, and that Drusilla was being an evil bitch. But no matter what she said, Buffy would shake her head, and at some point, Willow was sure that Buffy was ignoring her.
It was time to get ready for the end of summer dance, so Willow had the perfect opportunity to corner her and talk some sense into her. Once Willow was ready, dressed in her little green summer dress, she brought her girls over to mingle in The Swans cabin and knocked on Buffy's door.
“Who is it?” Buffy asked, praying to anyone who was listening that it was one of the girls and not Willow or Spike.
“It's me, you decent?” Willow hollered over the giggles coming from the group of girls behind her.
Buffy sighed and slumped further into her bed. Willow was the second to last person she wanted to speak to, but she couldn't just ignore her. “Yeah,” she said, rolling onto her back so she could talk easier. “Come in.”
Willow opened the door and smiled sweetly at her friend, softly closing the door behind her. “Why aren't you dressed?” she asked, knowing full well why. Buffy wasn't going to go to the dance. Buffy gave her a 'you-know-why' look, so Willow skipped it. She nodded her head and decided to change the subject. “You okay?” she asked, knowing it was probably the worst possible question she could have asked; not exactly changing the subject.
Buffy stared at her incredulously, her eyes still swimming with pain and sadness. “Yeah, I'm fine,” Buffy said sarcastically. “Peachy actually. I was planning on sitting here in my room, alone, marveling at how completely happy I am.”
Willow sighed at walked towards the door. She knew Buffy wanted a friend. She just had to make her see it and admit it. “Okay, I will let you get back to it, then.”
“No!” Buffy hollered, causing Willow to smile and stop in her tracks. “Please, don't go. I'm sorry for snapping at you.” Buffy sat up, still clutching Mr. Gordo to her chest. She knew what Willow wanted to talk about, but Buffy wasn't in the mood. Maybe if she said something to derail Willow's thoughts, she would let it slide? “I like your dress,” Buffy pointed out, hoping that that would be enough to slip passed the inevitable discussion of Spike.
Willow turned around with a beaming smile on her face. She had picked this dress out of the two she had brought, hoping that it would make her crush, Oz, drool with lusty wrong feelings. She let out a girlish giggle and rushed over to sit beside her friend. “I know, right! Isn't it adorable?! I brought two dresses. The other one was a pale pink but I thought that—Hey!” Willow said, pointing a finger at Buffy. “Nice try Missy, but you know why I'm here.”
Buffy giggled, slightly tickled by Willow's girlish outburst. “I know, I know. You want to talk about Spike, right?” When Willow nodded, Buffy sighed and placed her stuffed pig on the night stand, and then rose to play with the trinkets on her small dresser that she had been collecting all summer. “All right, here goes: I loved him. Still do. He broke my heart and my trust and I'm not ready to forgive and forget yet,” she said in one big rush of words.
Willow sighed dramatically, standing up and placing a hand on Buffy's shoulder. “Fine. But at least come to the dance with us? I don't want to have to watch over a dozen little girls,” she lied. She would have watched the kids, but it she did, Buffy would be at the cabin and not at the dance. Wilow wanted Spike and Buffy to talk to each other.
Buffy felt guilty at that. She had left Willow with a mess load of kids a lot in the past two weeks, shirking her responsibilities so she could be with Spike. As much as she didn't want to go, she would. Willow deserved to be kid-free and dance with Oz, without having to look over her shoulder to do a head count.
“Okay, I'll go.”
Willow clapped and stood up. She was happy that it had taken fewer words to get Buffy to agree to go than she’d thought. “Great. Let me help you get ready. I’m going to make you look perfect tonight.”
Willow gave up trying to get Buffy to listen to her, but she wasn't giving up on them. So she was going to do the next best thing.
It was time to see Spike.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
After Willow talked Buffy out of going in just shorts and a t-shirt, she told Buffy that she needed something at her cabin and left her to do her hair alone.
Willow walked the distance to Spike's cabin and found him behind it, smoking a cigarette. “You know those will kill you, right? And what about the kids? You could get fired for doing such naughty things in front the poor, hopefully smoke-free kids,” Willow said, giggling at her silly joke so he knew she was kidding. Well sort of kidding. When she got close enough, she pulled him into a hug, rubbing his back in a soothing manner. “How are you holding up?”
Spike reciprocated the hug, holding back the tears that threatened to fall. He had felt no comfort since last night, and he was clinging to whoever gave him a little. When she pulled away, he took a drag of his smoke to steel his nerves so he could speak. “I thought you would hate me by now. Don't girlfriends do that?” he asked, placing his bad boy exterior back in place.
“Cut the crap, William,” Willow said, not buying his cover at all. “I know you're hurting and so is she. You need to make this better.”
He caved. His eyes flooded with tears and he flicked his smoke away. It wasn't going to help him now. “She won't listen to me,” he said. “'I've tried.”
Willow saw the man in front of her, using what was left of his strength to hold his tears back, and she couldn't help pulling him into another hug. “I know that none of this was your fault. I have tried telling Buffy that, but she is too guarded right now,” Willow said, tears forming behind her own eyes as Spike clung to her. “I think she is just scared. She told me that she gave you her virginity. Is that true?”
Spike let out a sob and nodded his head. He hadn't even thought about that and how it must have affected her. “God, I'm such a git. I didn't even think of that! She must really hate me,” he said. “I never meant to hurt her.”
Willow pulled away from him, keeping him at arm’s distance. “You don't need to tell me that. And you didn't hurt her. Drusilla did. She is just afraid that it was true; that what Drusilla said is really your intention. I know that she should trust you and know that it isn't true, but she is going by her emotions right now, not thinking before acting.”
“What I think you should do is go to the dance. She will be there. Try to talk to her where she can't cause a scene,” Willow told him, hoping beyond hope that Buffy would comply.
Spike nodded his head and wiped at his eyes, trying to erase the sign of tears before he headed back inside with the kids. “I'll be there, Red. I hope you are right. I need her.”
Willow nodded and Spike leaned over and gave her a chaste kiss on the cheek. “Thanks.”
She watched him walk away and she smiled. Maybe... just maybe, things would turn out okay for them
TBC
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Thank you to Paganbaby and xaphania for prereading this chapter and letting me know that it is good. Thank you to Kiera Thornton for beta'ing!
Chapter End Notes:
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