Scraped knees were easier to fix than a broken heart...
She looked down at her white sundress, playing with the hem as she thought about what had happened in the last couple of days. What Drusilla had told her was just... hurtful to hear. She didn't know if it was true or not, and she wanted to trust Spike. She wanted to so badly, but she was just so hurt and she couldn't look past that.
The funny thing was, she didn't regret anything that had happened between them. Maybe Spike was being sincere and what Drusilla had said was false, she didn't know. Maybe Drusilla was right and Spike was planning on 'getting back at her'. Either way, Buffy couldn't change what had happened during the last two weeks, and she wouldn't want to. At the time, everything had been so perfect. He loved her and he was with her. He treated her with so much kindness and love, she could only love him more for it.
What bothered her was why had Spike not recognized her from the beginning if he was only here to hurt her? Second of all, how did he know that she was going to be working here for the summer? There were so many holes in the story, she didn't know what to believe...
Then it hit her. She remembered everything that Spike had told her.
~FLASHBACK~
Spike sat down in front of her, poking at the food on his tray. “Kids can be so infuriating sometimes,” he said then took a bite out of his mac ‘n' cheese.
“Bad day?” Buffy asked, reaching across the table to rub his arm.
“A little bit, yeah. Don't feel like talking about it right now though.”
“Okay.”
They sat in silence for a bit, not knowing what to say. Buffy let out a little sigh, she hated awkward silences.
She searched for something to talk about, but couldn't think of anything. Then, she looked up at him and her eyes landed on his scar. She remembered him saying that his ex did it, so she went with that. “Tell me more about your ex?” she asked, suddenly feeling uncomfortable with her choice of conversation topic.
“Drusilla? Why?” he replied through a bite of his food.
She giggled. “Eww, Spike. Chew, swallow then talk.” She swiped a fallen strand of hair behind her ear and picked up her fork. “I don't know... just want to know about her, I guess.”
Spike was confused for a moment, wondering why she would want to know. Girls usually didn't want to know much about a bloke's ex-girlfriend, but he didn't mind. He put his fork down and took a deep breath. “Not much to say, really. She was nice at first. All with the 'I love you's’. But then she went all... well for lack of a better word, she went crazy. I'm talkin' voices in her head, ‘I can tell the future’ crazy.
“She was always lookin' for ways to make me suffer or get angry. I don't know what changed her. I remember this one time she told my parents that she was pregnant when she really wasn't. That was a mess and a half to clean up. I still expect her to show up and do something to fuck me over. I just hope she doesn't.”
“I see. Why did you stay with her after she lied to your parents?” Buffy asked, slightly worried about what Dru was going to do when she found out that Spike was now her boyfriend.
“I stayed with her because I had no one else.”
Buffy's face softened and she picked up her fork. “Oh.”
~END FLASHBACK~
Buffy internally kicked herself. Why hadn't she known? Why didn't she think of this when Spike was pleading with her to trust him? How could she fall into Drusilla's trap?
She needed to make things better with him, she couldn't stand this pain in her chest anymore. Though it was now dulled with the new knowledge that Spike had been sincere, she was still pained at being away from him for so long.
She looked up from her dress only to find the man in question standing right in front of her, his arms crossed and a a small frown creasing his forehead, lips downturned. His hair was curly instead of slicked back and his eyes held such sadness it made her heart break even more. He was hurting like she was, so how could Drusilla be right?
Buffy wanted to find Drusilla and do something to her that would make her feel the same amount of pain that she had caused them.
But God, did he ever look gorgeous. The dimly lit room cast shadows over his face, accentuating his features. He was wearing his usual, tight black pants and a black wife-beater shirt. Her breath caught in her throat and her body tensed. She missed him. She wanted him. She just didn't know how to fix it.
“Buffy.” Spike said, half whispering and half whimpering. “Can I talk to you?”
She lowered her head, looking at her pink painted toenails, wiggling them a bit in her sandals. “I... I don't think that is such a good idea,” she replied. Her heart was screaming yes, but her mind was telling her not to go with him. Not yet.
“Then will you at least dance with me?” he asked. When she said nothing to him, his arms fell to his sides and he sighed. “Please, Buffy...” he got down on his knees and took her hand in his, praying she wouldn't pull away. When she didn't, he breathed a sigh of relief. “I'm dying here. Just one dance?” he pleaded.
Buffy glanced up at him, her eyes filling with tears as he looked at her with nothing but love in his eyes. One of his hands came up, brushing the soft skin of her cheek before pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. She couldn't help but lean into his touch, she craved it.
As if on cue, slow music started and she sighed. “Okay. One dance.” She mumbled and stood up, never taking her hand from his as he led her to the dance floor.
When you walk into the room, I wanna find a hiding place
We used to laugh, we used to hug, the way that old friends do
But now a smile and a touch of your had just makes me come unglued
He stopped and turned toward her, pulling her into his embrace. He wrapped his arms around her waist and she wrapped hers around his neck, resting them on his shoulders. They started to sway and she leaned her cheek against his chest. 'This is nice...'
He let himself smile for the first since that night. Here Buffy was, in his arms and leaning into him. It made his heart sing! He leaned down and gently kissed the top of her head. 'God, I missed her... Now, if I can just get her back...'
Is it fact or fiction?
Oh, the way I feel for you
It's so complicated, I'm so frustrated
I wanna hold you close, I wanna push you away
I wanna make you go, I wanna make you stay
Should I say it? Should I tell you how I feel?
Oh, I want you to know, but then again I don't...
It's so complicated
Buffy couldn't help but think of how perfect this song was. Everything was complicated. She did want to tell him that she loved him and wanted to just... start from where they left off. But, there were so many things that she wanted to know. She pulled away from him slightly and a look of fear washed over his face. Was he scared that she was going to stop dancing with him?
Like hell she was! She felt so warm and safe and... loved while she was in his arms. She wouldn't give that up just yet.
She looked into his eyes and felt like she was drowning. There was a mixture of sadness, love and happiness swimming in his cerulean orbs and she couldn't help but smile. She knew... She just knew that she didn't care what had happened before, she didn't want to live her life without him and with this pain in her heart in his place. She wanted to be happy. She wanted to be happy with him.
She was going to talk to him.
“Spike,” she said. “Take a walk with me?”
Spike looked sad for a moment, he didn't want to stop dancing with her—ever—but he couldn't pass up the chance to talk with her either. He smiled a little and reached behind his neck to take both of her hands in his. “Sure. Lead the way.”
She laced her fingers with his, and side by side they left the gym.
Willow looked up at Oz as they watched the pair leave the room. They turned to look at each other and both smiled from ear to ear. “Looks like they’re going to make up!” Willow exclaimed, and pulled Oz into a hug.
Buffy led Spike down the same path they had first taken so many years ago. She would have taken him to the cliff, but that was ruined for her now. Drusilla's nasty words and the tears that had fallen from both Buffy and Spike's eyes ruined the place that she used to hold so dear. It wouldn't be a good place to take him to try and make up with him.
With the cliff out of the question, she took him to the other place they shared together. The swings.
When they reached them, she got on the right swing, and he went on the left one. Just like they used to. They sat in silence for a bit, both knowing exactly what to say, but not how to say it.
Spike watched as she slipped her sandals off and dug her toes into the soft sand, softly swinging from side to side. She craned her neck back, looking up at the deep blue of the night sky, her hair hanging behind her as she looked up at the bright twinkling stars.
She could feel his eyes on her, watching every move she made and she couldn't take it anymore. She had to talk to him.
She turned her head towards him, loving the adorable way his head was tilted. She wanted him to wrap his strong arms around her and kiss her breathless, but first...
“I miss you.” They both said at the same time.
TBC