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“Good God could they get any louder?” Buffy leaned forward as the headboard of the bed bounced forward from the impact of the wall behind it. She grimaced as she heard the loud moans and grunts of her former love through the wall and briefly wondered if the twelve seconds were over yet.

“Probably pet, we could give them a run for their money…considerin’ we’re still married ‘n all…” From the left side of the bed, Spike leered at her bronzed form carefully hidden under the forest green sheets. If he looked close enough he could just see the outline of her…right, listen to the girl when she starts talking. He blinked and tried to focus on what she was saying instead of the outline of her perky breasts.

“Not gonna happen Spike. I still don’t know what the hell my parents were thinking when they put us in the room next to the horny twosome over there. I mean, we weren’t allowed in the same room when we were engaged…what the bloody hell are they doing over there?!” She pounded on the wall behind her as a long wail emitted from the other room. “Liam never went this long when we were together…they have to be faking it…right? It’s been well over twelve seconds and if you count foreplay they still should have been done a good fifteen minutes ago!” Her head dropped back to the headboard only to have it bounce back forward as the wall vibrated again.

“Do you really have to bring up you and the poofter while we’re lying in bed together? With you all…are you naked under there?” He quirked a scarred eyebrow as he took in her bare shoulders and blushing cheeks. “’m gonna take that as a yes kitten. Feel free to rub that hot little body on mine if you get cold tonight.” He scooted his lithe body towards hers slightly until he came in contact with her heated flesh, grinning when she wrapped an arm around him.

“Guess I got used to sleeping without clothes after you left…”

“Didn’t leave willing pet, you kicked me out. Don’t forget that little fact when your re-telling that story to your mum ‘n da’. Now, go to sleep ‘n don’t mention you ‘n the poofter doin’ anything remotely sexual in my presence ‘gain.” He rolled to his side and pressed himself against her, holding back a gasp at finally having her back in his arms.

“Spike?”

“Yeeaah?” He groaned as she pressed herself back against him and woke up a certain part of his anatomy that had until then been only half asleep.

“I, uh, I-I just wanted to say that I, uh, Iloveyouandgoodnight.” She ducked her head into the pillows as she mumbled the last words, groaning as the words came out of her mouth.

He patted her arm before sliding his hand lower to wrap around her waist before leaning in and kissing her shoulder, “Love you too goldilocks.” With a sigh of contentment, he fell asleep wrapped around the love of his life in the floral-printed room of the cozy house in the English countryside.

Liam and Drusilla’s room

“They didn’t even try! All that banging and moaning and they didn’t do a blasted thing.” Liam propped himself against the headboard as he took in his fully-clothed counterpart.

“Don’t worry Daddy, the stars say that my dark prince will come back to me and sunshine will leave us.” Drusilla rocked from side to side as she giggled manically.

“I don’t care what your fuckin’ dark prince does! I just want Buffy back with me! She belongs with me! She’s my soul mate, we’re meant to be together. Should just fuck you and get rid of my frustrations since I’m stuck here in the Summers’ house of floral torture.” The Lord of the Brood scowled at the pink floral print of the comforter on the bed as he shifted his massive form on the bed.

“Liam, shut up! Have you actually heard yourself? She’s my bloody soul mate…you broke up with her to screw Darla, you idiot. The only reason I agreed to this engagement was to hopefully nail Spike for once. Buffy’s always gotten all the best toys and for once I’d like to take a ride on a good one.” Dru looked over at the pudgy man beside her disdainfully.

“I’m her champion.” He frowned sullenly as Drusilla moved around the room in preparation for actual sleep.

“Right, just stay on your side of the bed and don’t touch me.”

The next morning

Spike groaned as dream-Buffy licked the tip of his cock before wrapping her lips around him, gently nibbling on her way to the base as she ran her free hand over his abdomen. Her hot little hand searched lower and finally cupped his tightening sac as he grinned like an idiot in his sleep. This was the stuff dreams were made of, especially when the likelihood of having the actual performance was nearly nil. His eyes peeked open as he felt the cool rush of spring air hit his nude body. Dream-Buffy was still there with her mouth around his cock as he opened his eyes further and it took mere moments before he realized that it wasn’t dream-Buffy at all but rather the real one.

“BUFFY!!!!” He shouted her name as he came and finally flopped boneless against the mattress, carefully studying her grinning face as she lapped up the excess cum.

“B-buffy luv?” His voice sounded raspy even to his own ears as he gazed down to her wide grin.

“Morning. Time for breakfast.” She scooted off the bed and towards the bathroom before he could force the words to come out of his mouth.

Twenty minutes later he finally had control over his legs and had cleaned up enough to join the squabbling family in the dining room where an assortment of breakfast foods adorned the long table. His welcoming committee was mixed as he sat next to his smiling wife. Drusilla had greeted him with a wide smile and brief hello while Liam had chosen to just glare between him and Buffy.

“Where’s the ‘bit?”

“I’m starving…” The teenage time bomb took her seat next to her eldest sister as she piled food on her plate, uncaring of her mother’s disapproving gaze.

“Really Dawn the food will still be there if you take human-sized portions.” Joyce glared down the line as the trio non-so-subtly set down their loaded forks and continued chewing their food.

“So what’s the plan today?”

“Get together in the bloody park. Should be a soddin’ wonderful time.” Hank finally spoke up as he rolled his eyes at the younger people and avoid a slap from his wife.

“Just a little welcome home party for the happy couple. I figured it would give you the time to settle back in here and reconnect with the rest of the family and William…your Uncle Giles will be attending as well so don’t feel as though you’d be left out on the socializing.” Joyce watched the couple’s expressions as she stressed the word ’happy’.

Down the table, Spike glared at his plate as the unbidden image of Buffy shacked up with his uncle came to mind. He was brought back to reality when her hand brushed up against his thigh as she readjusted her napkin.

“Park sounds like it could be fun.” He grinned, not noticing the glares coming from the opposite side of the table.





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