Passions Brought to Light:
Buffy stands in her room facing the mirror above her vanity. Her arms are crossed tightly and her eyes are wet with tears. If she could see herself she would see a woman with a still expression, solid like stone with the darkest sorrow and regret etched into her face. Buffy stares at the nothingness that makes up her reflection then watches as the reflection of the door swings open. She turns around to see Spike standing in her room still holding his bleeding, bullet wounded stomach. Immediately Spike notices that she’s upset and he moves to stand before her. Using the hand that is un-bloodied by his wounds he wipes away a tear as it starts to fall.
“I could have killed him,” Buffy says in an angry and choked up voice.
“But you didn’t.”
“Spike, I… I attacked him, and… and I, I bit him… his blood, and the smell, and I wasn’t sure I could stop.” Her voice is loud and irate. Spike looks her straight in the eyes.
“But you did stop. You didn’t kill him Buffy.” Buffy's eyes search his and then she breaks down, the tears start to fall and she buries her face in Spike’s chest. He wraps his free hand around her and he shushes her calmly.
“Wh-what if I-I can’t stop next time… what if it just tastes too good?”
“Listen to me slayer, if you ever have to protect yourself like that again you will be able to stop… you’re not a killer Buffy.” Her sobs grow stronger and Spike holds her tightly.
Spike ignores his own pain as Buffy cries and deals with the thing she has become, the thing he turned her into. He knows she’s still a good person, he knows on the inside that she’s still the same. She’s still the slayer and a hell of a woman; he just hopes that she can see it too. Slowly Buffy’s weeping starts to ebb, her tangled cries become more spaced out and she gets ahold of herself. Spike runs his fingers through her hair and looks down at her as she pulls away slightly.
“You really believe that?” Her eyes search his.
“Absolutely.” His voice never wavers. “In a hundred plus years Buffy there’s only one thing that I’ve ever been sure of… you.” Her eyes well up again, but this time there is a smile playing at the corners of her lips. “Now you listen to me… I’ve been alive a bit longer then you, and dead a lot longer then that. I’ve seen things you couldn’t imagine and done things I prefer you didn’t, and I’ve also seen you. I’ve seen what you do, how you try… I’ve seen your kindness and your strength. I’ve seen the best and the worst of you and I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You’re a hell of a woman, Buffy… You’re the one.”
A choked laugh passes through Buffy’s lips. Salty tears fall down her cheeks again but for a different reason this time. Buffy sees Spike’s love for her swirling in his cerulean blue eyes and she believes every word he’s said to her. She knows it’s true. She sees him in that moment and suddenly the world makes sense. Buffy leans in to Spike and wraps her arms around his neck. Her fingers play with the hair at the back of his neck as her eyes meet his. Then she presses her body against his and brings her lips up to his. Spike doesn’t hesitate to respond. Soon his fingers are twisting in her hair and running up the back of her shirt as their kiss deepens.
Buffy lets out a moan as her fingers trail down Spike’s chest headed toward his jeans. Then she hits something cold and wet. She stops. Spike lets out a hiss of pain. Their kiss breaks and Buffy looks down to be reminded of the bleeding bullet wounds in Spike’s stomach.
“Oh, God… Spike, I completely forgot… I’m so sorry.” The moment is broken.
“It’s alright pet.”
“We need to get you cleaned up.”
--
Shiny twisted and bloodied bullets sit in a dish on Buffy’s end table. Spike sits shirtless at the edge of her bed as she wraps gauze around his waist. Pulling the bullets from his stomach had been painful for Spike, but Buffy had winced far more then the vampire before her when she had pulled them out.
“All done,” Buffy says taping the end of the gauze down. She looks up at Spike then and her eyes meet his.
The smile that had crossed Buffy’s face from being pleased with herself for treating his wounds softens. Eyes rock back and forth within their sockets as both vampires’ minds travel back to the kiss they shared before bloody bullet wounds had interrupted it. Buffy brings her hand up to Spike’s face and runs her fingers down his cheek. Despite the room temperature feel both their skin posseses her fingers feel fevered against his cheek, it isn’t the burning touch that he remembers from when she was human, but it still feels warm. Spike reaches out to her and wraps his arms around her waist.
In that moment Buffy thinks that if her heart could beat that it would be hammering in her chest. Her feelings for Spike seem as if they have grown even more just in the past few hours. She wants him in every way, and it’s different then the last time they had been together. Before Spike turned her Buffy had gone to him once again in need, what she feels now is want. It’s not just a physical desire; it’s an emotional one as well. Her yearning for Spike is so strong that she fears she might cry if a move isn’t made.
Buffy leans into Spike and brings her arms around his neck. Instantly his arms around her waist tighten. Then her lips smash to his, hungrily and needy. Spike slides his fingers up her back, and their lips dance in a heated battle. Even when tongs are brought into a sword fight neither vampire feels like they’re close enough to the other. Buffy presses her body flat against Spike’s and brings her legs up to wrap around his waist. In the past being this close to him would have felt like being pressed up against a block of ice, but now it’s as if heat is radiating from him.
Spike stands up from the bed with Buffy’s legs still securely locked around him. Her blunt teeth are currently lightly pulling on his bottom lip and he lets out a passionate growl. Spike ignores the quick twitch of pain from his stomach as he stands and spins around then falls back to the bed now with Buffy beneath him. Their kiss breaks for a fraction of a second and both see the flecks of gold shimmering around in the emerald and sapphire of each other’s eyes.
Soft lips crush against each other once again while Buffy’s hands move down to Spike’s jeans and roughly pull at the fabric that covers his body. Vampire strength overcomes fabric as clothes are destroyed. Spike’s jeans crumple to the floor quickly followed by Buffy’s shredded shirt and her bra which has now acquired a broken clasp. Hands roam across skin and the feeling of heat overpowers them both. Buffy’s jeans are next to go and then there is nothing stopping them from becoming one. With a shifting of hips they are linked together in one fluid and powerful motion that threatens to send them both over the edge in that very instant.
Spike’s fingers roughly tangle in Buffy’s hair while Buffy’s are dragging down Spike’s back. Her vampire nails, sharp as razors, leave tiny moon shaped cuts as she digs her fingers in, although Spike doesn’t seem to notice the pain. He brings his lips to her jaw bone and leaves kisses up its side until he meets her lips once again. All the while they move perfectly together in their rhythmic dance.
As the hours move past the night disappears and the sun rises from beyond the thick curtains. Buffy and Spike however are lost in each other and fail to notice any changes in their surroundings. The shaking of the bed and creaking of its hinges goes unnoticed as passionate moans and murmurs escape soft lips and ravenous kisses trail across skin.
Emotions are building, muscles tightening. Buffy’s fingernails dig deep into Spike’s skin as his hips shift into her. Release floods through her body and her head flies back. Everything feels so intense and she looses control of her face. Her skin morphs and eyes turn yellow. Her body shakes as bliss overcomes her. She moans in pleasure letting the sound of her release pass over her fangs. Then slowly muscles relax and Buffy melts into the bed. Spike collapses atop her and just before sleep overcomes them both the ridges across her brow smooth and her face returns to its human form.
--
Spike’s eyes open to the sight of Buffy’s alarm clock. He lies on his side facing the end table and reads the numbers 12:13 written in red on the clock before him. Slowly the events of the night before filter into his mind and Spike spins around to his other side. A sheet now covers his torso and as he flips around he sees that Buffy is still asleep beside him. It’s obvious that she’s naked beneath the thin white sheet and Spike smiles as he realizes that his dreams of the night before had been a reality.
Eye lashes twitch and green eyes flutter open. Buffy sees Spike before her and a smile creeps across her face. The sight of him evokes feelings within her, feelings of the warm fuzzy kind and there are words that Buffy wants to say to him. There is an emotion more powerful then anything else that she wants to express, but there is also fear of actually saying those words, fear of destroying the moment, of jinxing the future, of a billion things built up within her and so she keeps quiet.
“Morning,” Buffy says softly, it isn’t the phrase she wanted to say, but it’s something.
“Morning love,” Spike replies and Buffy scoots closer to him. She pulls her naked form up against his and kisses him. Spike can tell that this all means more then anything ever has between them, but he’s too scared to ask just what it is. Spike simply lets himself fall into their kiss and twists his arm around her. He knows that if this keeps up that they’ll soon be repeating last night’s performance.
Then it all comes to an end as there’s a knock at the door. Spike turns over to face the door and Buffy props herself up on one elbow using her other hand to hold the sheet close to her body.
“It’s me,” Dawn calls through the door. “Willow wanted me to wake you guys up; we’re having a meeting downstairs.”
“We’ll be down in a minute,” Buffy calls and they hear Dawn’s footsteps trail off. Buffy looks at Spike then. “I’ll um… I’ll go get you some new clothes, I kind of… well, I’m stronger then I look, your jeans didn’t stand a chance.” Spike smiles and chuckles lightly knowing that his jeans must be shredded.
--
After getting dressed Buffy and Spike make their way downstairs where the scoobies sit and wait. They can hear the potentials in the basement and Buffy knows with her vampire hearing that she could zone in and listen in on their conversations if she wanted, instead she focuses her attention on the living room. Willow sits in the center of the couch with her arms crossed and Xander and Kennedy are on either side of her. Giles is cleaning his glasses at the front of the room and Dawn and Anya are sitting in the chairs.
“So what’s up?” Buffy asks as she comes into the room, but she already knows that it has to do with the First and the spell to bring Tara back. She had a night of bliss and now its time to get back to reality.
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