Let Love out of the Dark:
In a few hours Tara will be dragged back into their dimension and the First will become corporeal. Buffy sits at the breakfast counter and lets her mind wander. A part of her is upset about bringing Tara back, after her resurrection anything that will pull someone out of heaven is an atrocious thing in Buffy’s mind, but she’s been assured that this will not be a resurrection. As she understands it, it will be more like when Anya and Willow brought that vampire Willow into this realm. She will show up here in the same form as she is there, whatever form that may be; but certainly she will not go through what Buffy did.
Buffy only wishes that she’d have time to give Tara her own goodbyes. ‘Giving goodbyes’ is how she and Willow are referring to this now. Her best friend has found a way to come to terms with this spell by that phrase. It isn’t much but it’s something she never got to do and for that Willow is grateful for the opportunity, even if it will pull at her heartstrings later. Buffy however will seek out the First while they perform the spell in order to pick a fight with it in a safe location. If she succeeds Tara will most likely be gone by the time she returns home.
There is however one other thing at the back of Buffy’s mind that’s bothering her. This could be it for her and she knows it, but that’s not a problem. Buffy has no worries or fears of death. Dying is one thing that she’s become far too familiar with over the years and she knows that if it is her time that she will welcome it; however she doesn’t think she can go if she leaves anything unsaid. Last night she felt something with Spike, something strong and she woke up knowing exactly what that feeling was.
Buffy takes a deep, unneeded and yet necessary breath to calm herself and stands up from the counter. After going over the basics in the living room earlier Willow had left to gather supplies for the spell; Dawn had gone with her for which Buffy was glad that she wouldn’t be alone and the rest of the room emptied. Spike, went into the basement as the rest of the potentials came back upstairs, and Anya had made her way outside. Now Buffy stands before the basement door building her courage to enter.
--
Anya sits in the white lawn chair in Buffy’s yard. On a chain around her neck is a ring and Anya has pulled it out from its resting place beneath her blouse to stare at the shinning stone in its setting. Maybe it’s the impending apocalypse that has everyone opening up, she doesn’t know, but she has seen something in Xander recently that makes her rethink all her wishes of vengeance against him. Sure in the past few days she’s seen the jealous overbearing and completely incorrect Xander that she had wanted to disembowel; but she has also seen a Xander who stood up to Robin Wood for his friend; a Xander who she can see looking past the things that would normally send him into a rant and accepting them. Something about the young man has changed, has grown, and Anya isn’t sure exactly what to think of it.
The squeaking of the patio door is heard. Anya spins around to see Xander walk out onto the porch and she quickly hides her engagement ring beneath her blouse once again. Slowly he makes his way toward her and sits in the seat beside her.
“Hey,” Xander says a little nervously.
“Hey.” Her reply is soft.
“So uh,” Xander stares down at his folded hands in his lap. “This might be it…”
“Yeah, well… we’ve all heard that one before… you’re not going to propose again are you?” Anya realizes that her words are sarcastic and a little too harsh, but it still stings thinking of how he left her. Xander’s face pales. “Xander, I’m sor…”
“No… I deserved that.” In those words Anya has another moment to add to her collections of ways that Xander has grown.
“You know Xander… I know that I tend to be the first to get hostile in conversations when you and I are alone… then after that it’s just a hop away from the merry-go-round of rotating knives where I blame you and you blame me and then we both end up torn to shreds…”
“Please tell me there’s a but coming in this sentence.”
“But… I don’t mean to…”
“I don’t mean to either.” Xander says with a hopeful tone to his voice. “I um… I’ve been thinking a lot lately.”
“About what?”
“About how sometimes what we think is the right thing to do is sometimes not so right, and how sometimes what we think is wrong ends up being what we need to do… I just, I’m trying to say that… Anya, I should have married you.” Anya’s face turns to him then and her eyes well up with tears. “I still love you Anya.” Anya’s eyes tear up, then she leans into Xander and he wraps his arms around her. Their lips meet and Anya’s eyes close sending trails of tears down her cheeks.
“I love you too,” Anya says when they finally pull away.
--
Sunnydale High has been nearly empty for the past few weeks, and after Principal Wood mysteriously resigned the campus was closed for good. No one, however, seemed to care. In the depths of the basement the Seal of Danzalthar lies once again uncovered, and five young men and women sit at the points of the pentagram across its surface. A knife moves from one hand to the next slicing wrists as it goes. The First, in the form of Buffy, moves around the room looking on as the blood pools onto the seal.
“She thinks becoming a child of the darkness is enough, but tonight, when the sun falls the darkness itself will cower in fear… She thinks she can beat me, but I know she won’t. I will kill her and then I will watch as her friends and family, as the ones she loved, are torn limb from limb.”
A wicked smile crosses the First’s lips as the Seal of Danzalthar starts to open. Long twisted and dirty fingers with claw like nails reach out of the mouth of hell. Growling and hunched Turk-han’s emerge from the Hellmouth and the First watches as the last of three Uber-vamps move to stand before it. As soon as the sun has set she will set them loose with explicit instructions. Buffy may have made herself stronger by becoming a vampire, but being dead means that her home no longer belongs to anyone and thus the First knows that her minions wont need an invite to get in.
--
Kennedy walks into Willow’s room. The red-headed witch turns to face her and the two of them share a small smile. Kennedy takes a few steps into the room until she’s only a few feet from Willow.
“How are you?” Kennedy asks. Willow tilts her head at the question and shrugs her shoulders.
“I’m alright… how are you?”
“I’m fine… I mean… I’m fine with the whole Tara thing, I get that you really loved her, that doesn’t bother me.”
“But you’re not fine with something else?”
“Yeah… Willow, can I tell you something?”
“Of course.”
“The First came to me… right after Buffy d… before Buffy woke up, and it told me that we’re doing exactly what it wants us to do and I just… I think it was right.” Willow regards Kennedy’s words and she understands for the first time why Kennedy has been so resistant to this situation.
“Kennedy…”
“Look, I know you think you’re doing the right thing here and I know I can’t change your mind… I just wanted you to know how I feel.” Willow nods.
“I know what it’s like to not be sure what the right thing to do is,” Willow says, “but I also know that we always win… I just hope you trust me, this is gonna work.”
“I hope so.”
--
Buffy takes each step slowly and cautiously as she makes her way down into the basement where she knows she will find Spike. She’s glad that she no longer has a beating heart to race and distract her or breath to choke up her words. With each step she takes she runs through her words in her mind. She tries to think of how she will phrase it, but nothing seems to sound right. If you had asked the slayer a few months ago if she ever thought she’d be saying these words to Spike you would have gotten a firm no, but then again she never thought she’d be a vampire either and now Buffy isn’t surprised at all that the words she plans to say will be spilling from her lips. The last step comes up faster then Buffy expected even with her slowed movements and soon she’s standing on the cement floor of the basement.
Buffy sees Spike pacing across the room; he seems to be as distracted as she was walking down the stairs. It doesn’t take long for him to notice her and his pacing comes to an abrupt halt. They stare at each other standing still as statues for a moment then Spike ducks his head and their frozen moment is warmed.
“Spike…”
“Before you begin slayer, I think we should talk… about last night, and…”
“I agree,” Buffy’s voice cuts off Spike’s sentence and he looks her straight in the eye.
“Right, yeah… so about last night…”
“Spike…”
“No, I need to say this… I don’t know what that meant to you, but my mind has been racing since we woke up and I know you’re not going to tell me but I need to ask anyway… cause I could loose you tonight and…”
“Spike…”
“No, please just let me finish, and…” Spike’s words are cut off as Buffy rushes up to him and smashes her lips against his. He resists for a moment then gives in letting the feeling of her lips overcome him. Buffy feels him relax against her and once she’s positive that she’s silenced him completely she pulls away. Buffy and Spike stand mere inches from each other both scared beyond death of what will come next.
“Spike…” Buffy’s voice is feather soft. She looks down to the ground then her eyes flutter up to meet Spike’s hopeful ones. Blue eyes plead for her to open up to him; they beg her to tell him what he’s so desperately wanted to hear for so long. “I love you.” Her words are tender and Spike needs a moment to take them in and run them over in his mind before he can actually process what she’s said.
“Say it again.” Spike’s words are whispered as well. A part of him fears that he’s hallucinating; he had never expected to hear those words from her even with things going so well between them lately.
“I love you.” Buffy’s words are firmer this time and as they’re said the fear finally leaves her body. Her eyes search Spike’s and she watches as a smile creeps across his face. Buffy grins as well.
Spike leans down and captures her mouth in a passionate kiss. Buffy doesn’t think it’s possible to feel any more elated then she is right now. It’s as if something inside her has been unlocked and she can finally move about freely. Buffy’s fingers twist in the fabric of Spike’s shirt and then as tears of joy swell in her eyes she pulls away.
“I just… I needed you to know, you know… incase…”
“Shush… none of that. Let’s just have this moment. Don’t worry about tonight.”
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