Bittersweet Setting Sun:
Dawn is lying face down on her bed wiping a few stray tears from her face when she hears her bedroom door open. Dawn turns over to see her sister entering the room. Buffy closes the door behind her and takes a few steps closer to the bed. A moment passes where there is only silence, then Buffy sits beside Dawn. In all honestly Buffy doesn’t know what to say, she’s already put Dawn through so much from being the slayer and having to save the world. Dawn has already attended one funeral for her and Buffy doesn’t want to make her have to go through that again, but being the slayer she knows that she has to keep the bigger picture in mind.
“Dawnie…” Buffy begins to say.
“Don’t… don’t tell me you have to do this to save the world… I’ve heard it already okay, just leave me alone,” Dawn replies with a shaky voice.
“Dawn, I’m not leaving you… I’m not going anywhere… I just need…”
“You need to die?”
“I need to be stronger… I’m the one that has to fight this, and if I don’t do this I’ll loose that fight.”
“I understand that… I know… it’s just… unfair.”
“I know… you have to believe me though Dawn, if there were any other way I wouldn’t do it.”
Dawn’s blue eyes are glossy with unshed tears as she looks up at Buffy and sees the honesty that’s reflected in her words. Dawn didn’t mean to get all weepy on Buffy; she’s just tired and stressed out as everyone in the house is. She looks up at her sister and can see the love Buffy has for her in her eyes. They have been through hard things before and they always worked out. In that moment Dawn convinces herself that this will too.
“You’re positive that you’ll keep your soul… we wont have to… we wont have to kill you if things go wrong?”
“Things won’t go wrong,” Buffy says pulling Dawn to her and kissing the top of her head. “I promise.”
--
Spike makes his way up the basement stairs. The door swings open allowing him to enter the kitchen and as he does he sees the faces of the scoobies staring at him. The silence in the room is deafening as he enters the kitchen. Spike’s stance and posture as he steps before them speaks volumes. They can tell that he’s changed his mind by the look on his face, but they can also see how hard it has been for him to come to that decision. Much harder then it had been for them to come to accept Buffy’s choice and they lower their heads as he passes feeling completely uncomfortable with words.
Spike walks through the dining room and is about to proceed into the living room in search of Buffy when he sees her walking down the stairs. She walks slowly and comes to land in the entrance way just as he makes it there. For a moment she simply stares down at the floor as does he, then they both look up at the same time to stare into each other’s eyes. Neither needs to say anything, there is a silent understanding of the conclusion they’ve come to and each of them sees pain in the other’s expression for what must be done.
“Thank you,”
“You sure about this pet?”
“…Yeah… yeah I am,” Buffy says averting her gaze once more. When she catches Spike’s eyes again he sees tears welling up in her green orbs. Instinctively Spike reaches a hand forward to wipe her tears away, he hesitates for a moment not sure if he should touch her, then moves his thumb against her skin wiping the wetness away; Buffy just looks up at him with all her heart and soul.
“We’ll do this later… spend the rest of the day in the sun with your friends,” he says and Buffy nods then turns her head and walks into the kitchen without another word.
--
Buffy had taken Spike’s words seriously. During the rest of her day she walked down to the beach with Dawn, laid in the sand beneath the sun feeling it’s warmth upon her skin and trailed her feet in the water. Then she wandered around town for a short while taking in how everything looked in the sunlight. How it reflected off store fronts and glimmered in puddles. She watched the people moving around her so innocent and naive. They knew nothing of the world in which she lived. They knew nothing of the impending apocalypse, and they knew nothing of how valuable their lives are. They’re the lucky ones.
For the first time in weeks Buffy ate a decent supper savoring every bite and then after dinner took a long bubble bath and viewed her image in the mirror longer then she ever had before, she wondered if she would ever forget what she looked like and tried to take every feature of her face into her memory. She planned to lock this day away in her mind so that she’d never forget a single detail of it - of her last day alive.
Now Buffy sits on her front steps with Willow on one side of her and Xander on the other watching the sun set in the sky. They sit in silence watching as its light grows more orange with every second and as it does Buffy wishes that time would simply stop to allow her to take in its beauty for just a little while longer. Buffy finds comfort sitting there watching the silent falling of the sun, then all too soon it’s vanished completely beneath the horizon. Xander and Willow give her a warm loving hug as Buffy shuts her eyes for a moment recalling the memory of the sun. Then they sit for a short while longer as the sky darkens.
--
After sunset Buffy came inside to find that Spike had been waiting for her in the entrance way. He stood leaning against the railing of the stairs. When his eyes met hers Xander and Willow vanished into the living room and Buffy lead the way up the stairs. Spike followed her quietly. Alone they went into her room and Buffy locked the door behind them. The sound of the metal lock reverberated through the room. Now they stand in the blue glow of the moonlight facing each other unsure of exactly what to say. Buffy slowly moves to the bed and sits down with her arms at her sides. Then after a moment’s pause Spike sits down beside her. Her hands sit flat on the bed, her elbows stiff and unbent while Spike’s are folded resting limply in his lap. This is it. Buffy turns to face him and Spike meets her gaze.
“Make love to me,” Buffy says softly. Spike’s face falls slack in shock.
“What?”
“I want one more time while I’m still… alive.”
“But you don’t want that with me love.”
“Spike… I care for you.” Her voice tells him that she’s determined.
“But you don’t love me.”
“Spike… please,” Buffy says softly looking up at him with her gorgeous green eyes and Spike wonders just how could he ever resist that. Her eyes are still pleading.
She doesn’t have to ask again. Slowly Spike draws Buffy into a kiss. He runs his hand through her hair and then gently pushes her down onto the bed. Buffy runs her hands over Spike’s shoulders pushing his coat off allowing it to slide to the floor. Spike leans down to the small slayer before him capturing her lips in a kiss once more allowing it to deepen and for passion to overcome them both. Spike knows this isn’t real, but he could never deny her a request.
Spike begins to unbutton her shirt as Buffy tugs his black t over his head. Then Spike pulls her up with him so that he's sitting up with Buffy wrapping her legs around his waist. He kisses her neck softly as he unfastens her bra feeling her arch into him. Soft kisses run over the spot he eventually will be ripping into with his fangs and Spike freezes for a moment. Then he pushes all thoughts of killing her out of his mind and focuses on making love to her one more time instead. As his thoughts refocus he thinks about her choice of words. She had asked him to make love to her. She’d never said it like that before, so tenderly, so true. For a moment Spike thinks that just maybe this actually matters to her more then just one last time, but he pushes that thought away as well.
With their clothes shed they find themselves beneath the sheets as the moonlight shines through the window. Spike pauses for a moment taking in the sight of Buffy below him. She's alive and her body is flush with warmth and passion. She meets his eyes with her teary ones as he enters her and holds his gaze. With a gasp of air they fall perfectly in sync with each other. This time they find themselves joined together differently then they ever have before. Buffy isn’t looking for Spike to help her forget, this time she’s come to him for a moment to remember. As heat causes her body to swell and her heart beat quickens Buffy finds she could cry at the thought of never feeling this passion rush through her veins again, but she doesn’t. Buffy holds back her tears and let’s herself live in the moment.
The world falls away as they dance through the night in a bittersweet symphony. They are enjoying every second of their union but saddened at the thought of what they will be doing after. Buffy’s impending death looms in the back of both their minds as they make love in the moonlight.
--
The gang sits impatiently around the table in the dining room. Xander twittles his thumbs while Anya pages through a novel. Giles and Willow simply sit with somber faces; Kennedy is at Willow’s side rubbing circles in her palm while Dawn rests upon her hands. The slayeretts, and Andrew, are eating dinner, they had ordered pizzas, but none of the scoobies have the stomach for food at the moment so they sit around the table with nothing before them, nothing but their thoughts.
“What’s taking them so long… it’s been over an hour now,” Xander asks unable to keep his thoughts to himself any longer.
“They’re probably having sex,” Anya says bluntly without even removing her eyes from the pages of her book.
“Anya,” Willow says in a warning voice.
“What? It’s what I’d want to be doing before I died.”
“I’m sure Buffy’s just taking her time to discuss with Spike her… fears about… about how this process will go,” Giles adds in.
“How long does it take… for her to die? How long does that take?” Dawn asks.
“Dawnie,” Willow begins to say.
“No… I want to know.”
“A while… he has to drain her completely… it’s a very long and painful process. Even if they have… begun, it may be some time before Spike emerges,” Giles explains.
“And we’re just supposed to wait here while he kills her,” Xander says with bitterness rooted deep in his voice.
“What else can we do,” Willow states.
“Stop this… Giles, he’s killing her up there don’t tell me you can just sit here and let that happen.”
“I’m with Xander on this,” Kennedy says. “I’ll go take him out right now, I know this is your friend and all Willow, but I don’t think this is the right decision.”
“I think Buffy’s made it very clear that we don’t have any control over this situation,” Giles replies. Kennedy looks to Willow and sees that she’s agreeing with the older man.
“We have to let her do this… she knows what she’s doing,” Dawn says softly.
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