Daymares:

Buffy had made her way up to her room just moments before sunrise and now she lies in her bed tossing and turning unable to sleep. The time she spent with Spike hours before she vanished into her room had kept her calm, but now without him there she feels anxious and fearful of the dreams that she knows will plague her mind once she lets her exhaustion defeat her. Buffy fights back her panicked thoughts and manages to get a few hours of sleep in, however they are hours that are short lived for as she feels the daymares creeping into her slumbering consciousness she snaps awake again and again.

By eight am Buffy realizes that she isn’t going to find any real rest this morning, but that’s alright. Her need for sleep is a lot less then it was when she was human and so she decides to get up and see what’s going on amongst the living.

--

Buffy makes her way to the end of the stairs. In the living room she can hear Willow, Dawn and Giles talking amongst themselves. Through the floor board below her she can hear Xander and Anya giving the slayers in training a lesson of some kind of which Andrew keeps interrupting with what sounds like Star Wars references. Outside a woman is walking her dog while listening to a walkman, down the street a car fails to stop at the sign and in the kitchen leaning against the back door Spike is smoking a cigarette.

“Thought you’d still be sleeping,” Spike says without turning to face Buffy as she walks into the kitchen. “You sleep a lot more when you’re young… not so much by the time you get as old as me.”

“Can’t sleep.” Spike turns to face Buffy then, a look of intrigue crosses his face.

“That so?”

“I keep having nightmares… or well, daymares I suppose.”

“Right, so you thought you’d come walk around among the living for a while… or I guess not since you’re in here with me.”

“I just… I don’t know.”

Buffy finds herself flustered, she’s not sure what led her into the kitchen instead of the living room where her friends are. She’s not sure why she came to talk to Spike instead of them. She looks into his blue eyes from across the room as if searching for an explanation in them; however she doesn’t have enough time to find one as she hears Giles’s voice behind her.

“Buffy, you’re up… good.” Buffy turns to face Giles. “I wanted to go over a few things with you.”

“Oh, okay… what do you need?”

“I wanted to go over the dream you had that led you to… to make this decision, and see if there’s anything else you dreamt that would be of use.”

“You should probably tell him about the other ones too pet,” Spike says.

“You’ve had other dreams?”

“Uh, yeah… the night, or well day before last and then I couldn’t sleep today, I kept waking up.”

“Well that is interesting… we must look into this immediately.”

--

Buffy takes her place in the living room where Xander and Anya have also joined Willow and Dawn. Giles and Spike follow after Buffy. Willow, Xander, Anya and Dawn take up the couch and lay comfortably sprawled across it. Spike leans in the doorframe looking over the room while Buffy and Giles take their seats in the two arm chairs. Buffy sits down and finds herself unable to sit comfortably. She looks at Giles with uneasy eyes waiting for his questioning to begin. The only sign of comfort Buffy has in the room is from Spike standing against the frame of the French doors.

“Alright… why don’t you start by running through the first of your dreams,” Giles says.

“Whoa, wait, there are more?” Xander asks.

“Oh, uh, yeah, there’s two… I mean I dreamt a little this morning, but I don’t remember any of it.” Buffy pauses for a moment then sees that all eyes are on her. “Ok… so my dream. I was walking in the woods and I saw a light, but then Spike was there.”

“The evil undead was in your dream?” Buffy ignores Xander’s accusing tone.

“You said,” Buffy’s now looking at Spike as she speaks, “that I should let you lead me into the darkness… and then Mom was there and my face was changed and… she told me this is what I needed to do to win, and that’s it.”

“Well… that’s very interesting,” Giles says.

“What about your other dream?” Willow asks.

“Yes… I think we’ve already seen the outcome from your first dream.”

“I um… I was in the same woods, but I was running… no, I was chasing someone and we were moving so fast, and then we stopped and I was looking at her, at me… it was the First.”

“Did it say anything?” Giles asks leaning in.

“Yeah, yeah it did… it said give me what I want.” Kennedy’s eyes open wide as she hears the phrase since the First had said similar things to her as well.

“What does it want?” Dawn asks.

“To make all our lives miserable obviously,” Anya chimes in.

“It said something else; um… something about killing people or being able to kill people, but it was more specific then that. I don’t remember exactly… does that make any sense to you guys?”
“Was it something like it wanted to feel a neck crack in its hands or taste the blood of its victims?” Spike asks.

“Yeah.”

“It’s said similar things like that to me.”

“What does that mean?” Dawn asks.

“It wants to be corporeal… the first is formless, it wants to have shape.” Willow says.

“Exactly… it wants the one thing it doesn’t have.” Giles says.

“To physically kill people?” Xander asks with a slightly disgusted face.

“Yes exactly… Buffy this has been very helpful… Willow, Dawn will you help me in the dining room? I have a few theories I want to research.”

--

Buffy is sitting on the back porch steps in the safety of the shade. She looks out into the sunlit yard and realizes that this is the closest she will ever get to feeling the warm rays of the sun on her skin ever again. She’s focusing on a tiny white butterfly dashing about and finds herself jealous of it. It flutters around the last of her mom’s tulips which still bloom, there used to be more but ever since her mom died they haven’t gotten the care they’ve needed. The line of the shadow is a barrier that she will never again be allowed to pass. Buffy listens as the door behind her squeaks. Spike steps out onto the porch and sits down beside her.

“It’s weird to think that I can’t just walk across the yard right now, that if I did I’d go up in flames,” Buffy says.

“You get used to it after a while.”

“Do you ever stop missing it?”

“Walking in the sun? No… not ever.” Both Buffy and Spike are silent for a moment. He looks to her then, concern in his eyes.

“Come on, lets get out of here,” Spike says as he stands up.

“What? Where are we gonna go, its daytime.”

“I’ll show you.” Spike puts a hand out to Buffy who’s still sitting on the steps. She looks at it for a moment then takes it and he helps her to her feet.

--

Willow notices Buffy and Spike walk toward the front door with blankets in each of their hands. A look of confusion crosses the red head’s face and she stops in her tracks to watch the pair prepare to leave.

“Uh, Buffy… are you going somewhere?”

“We’re going out… I’ll be back in a little while, I promise.”

Spike glances at Willow then pulls the door open and runs out into the light of day throwing the blanket over his head in the process. Buffy watches him for a moment and then does the same. Willow makes it to the door just in time to see them disappearing into the electrical tunnel through a man hole and after a moment of shocked staring she closes the door.

--

The smoldering of her exposed fingertips when the sun touched them had felt just as painful and hot as she imagined it would, but the burns on her uncovered hands were healed by the time her feet landed on the floor of the dark electrical tunnel. Buffy and Spike left their blankets strewn across the ladder that led up the manhole once Spike explained that they would not need them where they were going. Now they walk through the pitch black tunnel toward a destination that to Buffy is still unknown.

“So where are we going?” Buffy asks following beside Spike.

“Look, I… I know I can never make up for taking the sun away from you, but there are a few things that you’ve gained being a vampire… I’m taking you to where I can show you that it’s not so bad to be what we are.”

“So in other words that’s an 'I’m gonna be vague and not tell you' line then?”

“You’ll just have to wait and see Summers.”

--

Buffy isn’t sure exactly how long they’d been walking but what she does know is that she’s getting restless. Time seems to drag on and yet be completely meaningless all the same, then their course changes. Buffy has followed Spike as he moved down the tunnel walking down various corridors and moving without hesitation, but now they are not walking into another branch of the tunnel system. In the side of the tunnel is a hole, a rough rocky hole, and Spike turns to walk down it. Buffy pauses for a moment, but then continues to follow. The hole is a little smaller then the tunnel, but also shorter. Soon Buffy can see light at the end.

The hole ends. Buffy and Spike stop to look out over the ocean, the makeshift tunnel runs through a cliff and lets out fifty feet above the surface of the sea. Above them the rock formation that the tunnel runs through juts out father then where they’re standing casting the surrounding area in shadow. A cool breeze pushes Buffy’s hair back as she looks out at the shimmering blue salt water. It’s a beautiful spot; however Buffy is still unsure as to why she’s here. Then, Buffy notices Spike taking off his leather coat. He throws it to the side and then starts to untie his shoes.

“What the hell are you doing?” Buffy asks as Spike sets his shoes to the side.

“Just trust me okay,” Spike asks as he stares Buffy straight in the eyes. She’s apprehensive at first but then her features soften. “Take off your shoes.” Buffy removes her shoes and sets them aside as Spike takes off his shirt.

Spike,” Buffy says in alarm from Spike’s half naked appearance.

“Don’t get your knickers in a twist, this is all I’m taking off… you however might want to loose your shirt.” Buffy gives Spike the evil eye, but then removes her shirt so that she’s only wearing her jeans and a white cammi.

“So what are we doing?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Spike reaches forward and grabs Buffy’s hands. “Do you trust me?”

Buffy searches Spike’s eyes for a moment as he takes her hands in his. She knows she shouldn’t trust him, not after what happened last year, but things are different now and his words are sincere. He’s different now and he’s also the only person who understands what she is.

“Yes,” Buffy says softly.

Buffy feels Spike’s grasp on her wrists tighten and then her arm is jerked. Buffy’s feet fall out from under her and then everything falls out from under her. The ocean breeze rushes at her from all angles and her hair flies wildly in all directions. Spike has jumped off the edge pulling Buffy with him and now they are both falling toward the water. It feels like they’re falling forever and the fear that rushes through Buffy is exhilarating. Then they hit the salty seawater and find themselves deep beneath the Ocean’s surface.

Buffy finds herself startled and afraid for a moment, however she soon realizes that without the need to breath being underwater is quite fascinating. The salt doesn’t hurt her eyes and the weightless feeling as she moves is incredible. Buffy looks at Spike as she swims, he’s smiling at her and she smiles back. Buffy follows Spike beneath the water as he swims farther out to sea and is unable not to notice the way his muscles flex with every stroke he makes.

Soon they are past where the cliff casts a shadow over the ocean and the rays of the sun shine through the water. Buffy realizes in that moment what this is all about. She is fascinated by the glimmering gold light and stares up at the sun through the surface of the water and closes her eyes allowing herself to bask in its glow, even if it’s through the water. She feels warmer here then in the shaded part of the sea, and Buffy knows it’s because of the sun. She smiles as she thinks that she is once again warmed by its rays. Spike looks on at her as she dances in the water. He took the sun away from her, but it feels good to give it back, even in such a small sense.






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