She was disappointed. She wanted him to hear the song live, right from her mouth. 'I'll do a couple of songs first, then I'll do his song. He will come. I hope...' She thought to herself as she let her stylist put the finishing touches on her makeup.
She had a white tank top on with black leather pants, her makeup was minimal so she could look natural. She didn't want this gig to be a huge event like her usuals. She wanted it to be like she was performing for friends and family in her hometown.
The manager of the club stepped forward, obviously nervous and speechless and she thrust her hand out toward Buffy. “He-Hey.. I'm Wi-Willow. You m-might remember me from high school?”
Buffy searched her face for familiarity, but came up with nothing. Buffy shook her head, giving the shaking girl a frown. “I'm sorry, I don't remember you,” Buffy took Willow's hand, and shook it.
Willow pushed some hair behind her ear and waved her hand. “Oh, that's okay. I wasn't popular like you were. I just wanted to thank you for playing at my club tonight. We are completely packed!”
Buffy smiled and nodded. “I see that. I'm really excited to play tonight. Being back in my hometown is just...” she paused, trying to find the right words. “It's amazing.” Buffy pulled Willow into a hug, surprising her.
Willow hugged her back, amazed that she was so nice. Usually, other famous people weren't so warm. Willow pulled back and smiled. “You're on in 3 minutes. You ready?”
Buffy's face broke out into a beaming smile and she nodded her head vigorously. “Yes. Very ready. I'm so excited! But I have a question.”
“Sure, anything.”
“Do you know if William Pratt will be here tonight?” Buffy asked, her hopes high.
“You mean Spike? He's always here.”
Willow lead Buffy to the stage side and pointed to a man with sharp cheekbones and slicked back hair. He was sitting by himself and he looked... somber.
“There he is.”
Spike sat in his chair. He decided to skip drinking tonight. He wanted to enjoy the show without any alcohol in his system, and hoped that he might be able to talk to Buffy after her set. He looked at his watch, growing nervous as he saw there was one more minute until she came out.
He thought back to the last time he had saw her. Her face glowing as they lowered the crown onto her pin straight hair. Her pink prom dress matched her skin tone beautifully and made her eyes shine. The smile she had on was like a ray of sunshine, her happiness warmed his heart. He would never forget when she looked at him that night and how her face fell slightly. She tilted her head and a sympathetic smile took over her happy one. It was then that he knew that she was sorry for what she had done.
A blast of cheers and applause pulled him out of his reverie and his head shot up to look at the blond woman taking a seat at the stool in front of the microphone. God, she was just as beautiful as she was in high school.
Music started to play, fast and upbeat and she thrummed her fingers against her thigh as she counted her way into the song. Then, to his amazement, she looked at him. Right into his eyes and he felt himself melt. She knew. She knew who he was. He was too shocked to smile, to move, to do anything. So he just sat there with a passive look on his face.
He notice her smile falter and her fingers stop moving. She waved at her band mates, telling them silently to stop what they were doing. The crowd groaned and she finally took her eyes off of him. She looked at everyone in the crowd and then she sighed.
She pulled took the microphone off it's stand and he saw a look of fear wash over her face. Her mouth opened and closed a couple of times, as if she was fighting for the words to say. He tilted his head to the side, intrigued by her behavior and waited for her to begin.
Buffy knew what she wanted to say, she just didn't know how.
Standing up there in front of at least 150 of her fans in the small space, each of them looking up at her expectantly, and she was at a loss for words.
She looked over at him again, seeing his face tilted to the side as if begging her to say what he needed to say and she found her courage. She brought her other hand up and placed it over her other hand. Now gripping the microphone with both hands, she began her little speech.
“As most of you probably know, Sunnydale is my hometown. It's really amazing to be back, to feel the support and the love everyone is and have been giving me is just... well, amazing.” She giggled lightly, and then sighed. “But being here.. has also brought back some memories that I wish that I could go back and do over. And that's what the first song is about.”
“I wrote it two days ago, about a boy in high school that I let down. He is here tonight--” she looked over at him but made it seem like she was just scanning the crowd so she wouldn't bring attention to him. “You know who you are.”
She sat down on the stool and placed the microphone back in it's holder, adjusting it so it was where she needed it. “It's called 'Caught in the Crowd'”
She motioned to her band and they started to play the soft tune.
We rode side by side in the morning on our bicycles
We never even spoke or faced each other
but on the last hill we'd race each other
When we reached the racks we'd each go our own way
I wasn't in his classes, I didn't know his name
When we finally got to speak, he just stared at his feet
and mumbled a sentence that ended with 'Will'
She looked over at him, praying that he hadn't left. But he was still there, that same look of intrigue on his face as he watched her sing.
She let a small frown play on her lips as she tried her hardest to convey her emotions to him.
I didn't know then what I know now
I dumb and I was proud
And I'm sorry
If I could go back and do it again
I'd be someone you could call friend
Please, Please believe that I'm sorry
When no emotion passed his face again, she took her eyes off of him and looked at the rest of the people in the crowd. She had to make him believe that she was sorry.
She needed him to know that.
When the kids called him weird he didn't try to deny it
Every lunchtime he'd spend it walking by himself
Around the boundary of the grounds until he heard the bell
Well, one day I found him and joined him on his walk
We were silent for awhile until he started to talk
I told him my family was fighting in court
He said his step dad and him always fought
She couldn't help but smile at this part of the song.
It was when they had set the grounds for friendship that she had later obliterated.
She looked at him again, knowing this time she wouldn't take her eyes off of him. He had straightened his head, now just looking at her in a cool manner. Like he wasn't even affected by the words of her song. She wanted to weep, run of the stage and leave Sunnydale and never come back.
But she wasn't going to turn her back on him again. This time, she would do something right.
He told me all the bands that I liked were junk
I said I never heard the songs The Sex Pistols sang
I laughed back and him and then the bell rang
I was young and caught in the crowd
I didn't know then what I know now
I dumb and I was proud
And I'm sorry
If I could go back and do it again
I'd be someone you could call friend
Please, Please believe that I'm sorry
She was starting to shake. This was the first time she would ever admit to having hurt him the way that she did. She never told anyone or sang about it before. Her nerves were getting to her, but she powered through them, using all of her courage to get through it.
His face was a little softer as he listened to her words. He was surprised that she had remembered so much about their short friendship. He had remembered every detail, but didn't expect her to.
He shook his head and tuned into her music. He saw the way she was lightly shaking, so it must have been a crucial part of the song.
The corridors were crowded as we came out of the rooms
Three guys I knew pushed him into the cement
Threw away his bag and said he had no friends
He yelled that he did and he looked around
He tried getting up, but they pushed him on down
Thats when he saw me and called out my name...
She couldn't take the intensity of it all, so she lowered her head, taking in all the shame the next words held for her.
She looked back up at him as her eyes filled with tears. She felt so terrible to this day, and she hoped he realised that.
I didn't know then what I know now
I was dumb and I was young
And I'm sorry
If I could go back and do it again
I'd be someone you could call friend
Please, please believe that I'm sorry
As she sang the rest of the song while staring at him, watching him watch her as she spilled everything that happened.
He still looked so passive and she couldn't help but let the built up tears fall down her cheek. He didn't like the song, he didn't forgive her. She knew this would just be bad.
She shouldn't have come. She shouldn't have written this silly song...
When the music was finished, the crowd was silent. She sat on her stool, just staring at William.
Still, silence...
She couldn't take her eyes off of him. But her body had different ideas. She slowly stood up, planning to run from the stage until the crowd all of a sudden burst into applause. She was absolutely stunned by the crowds enthusiasm.
She scanned the crowd starting from the left, basking in the praise that didn't really mean a thing to her. It only meant something if he approved.
Finally, her eyes landed on him, the roars from the fans still as loud as they started, and yet they were both unmoved by it.
Slowly, he stood up and she felt like a cold bucket of water was poured over her.
What surprised her, was instead of walking away from her, he walked toward her. Taking wide, proud strides to the stage and then he jumped on it.
They stood there in front of each other, the crowd's immediate silence lost on them.
Finally, he broke into a smile and pulled her to him, clinging to her as she dissolved into a fit of tears, sobbing and whimpering how sorry she was.
When she pulled back, she placed a hand on the side of his face and he leaned into her touch. “I really really am sorry, William.” she said softly, loving the way his arms felt around her waist.
He tilted his head, his smile never faltering. “I know, luv,” he said simply, making her squirm and wait for his next words. “I knew you were sorry a long time ago. I never held it against you.”
She choked out another sob, the feeling of self peace washed over her as he stared at her with ultimate forgiveness in his eyes. “Took you long enough to say it though, didn't it?”
And then he kissed her, a soft chaste kiss which she reciprocated instantly.
She was forgiven.
The End