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Author's Chapter Notes:
Sorry for the long wait for this update, it was never intended to be a long story so the wait has no excuse - ive just been super tired between school and trying to get the hell out of it :)
I will do my best to have this done by the end of August - but please keep in mind it's just a short fic
Buffy’s eyes widened and misted over.

“I’m sorry, I can be such a selfish bitch, like I’m the only one in the world who knows loss.”

Spike just shook his head and gave a small but genuine smile, “You’re not a bitch, you’re still grieving. Some sarcasm from time to time is bound to happen, especially when you’ve locked yourself away from people and are just getting back into the swing of things.”

“Was that a dig at my hermit-ism?”

“A little, but somehow I feel justified in teasing a bit”, he added a wink to let her know he really wasn’t mad at her outburst.

They both picked up another slice and ate in silence until the pizza was gone.

Spike wiped his mouth and looked at her, “You’re the only person who hasn’t immediately asked what happened to my wife.”

Buffy shrugged, “If it’s my business I’m sure you’ll make it my business, I’d like us to be friends and I don’t want to push you.”

“She committed suicide.”

Buffy’s eyes widened but she stayed silent, if he wanted to go on he would. And he did.

“Her name was Druscilla, I called her Dru. She was my dark princess but the dark got a hold of her. She was seeing therapists, I went with her every other day, just tried to be there as much as I could, you know?”

Buffy nodded.

“But it wasn’t enough I suppose. I know she loved me with all she could but she wasn’t well, and she loved the darkness more. She wasn’t the regular type of depressed – if there is such a thing; she just didn’t want to be alive, kept talking about how death wasn’t the end just a new beginning. Mentally she’d never been well but you can’t help who you love I suppose. She did it when I was at work, when the call came over the radio it didn’t even register that I was on my way to my house before I got there. She had called it in, told the dispatcher to tell me she loved me with her last breath. I was the first one to find her. After that, well, I came here” he finished with the saddest smile Buffy had ever seen.

“I’m not going to say something trite like ‘I’m sorry for your loss’ Spike, there are no words that will console you.”

He nodded softly and she continued.
“But I will say I’m happy that you know she loved you, sick or not, and that you loved her too.”

“Thank you.”

“Come on, I’ll walk you back to the shop, no one will attack you with the hermit Summers at your side.”

He couldn’t help but laugh as he threw some money on the table and gave the owner a small wave before leaving. “I won’t argue with you there, your hair looks like a bloody birds nest.”

Buffy’s hands flew to her head and she laughed, REALLY laughed and it felt fantastic. “Why didn’t anyone tell me?”

“I suspect it’s funnier not to.”

Buffy swatted him and stepped into the sunny streets, taking a moment to bask in its warming rays.

“I’ve been inside for so long, it’s easy to forget how going out can make you feel so good.”

“I know what you mean.” Spike agreed.

Buffy raised an eyebrow, “Don’t you dare tell me you go out often, you’re too pale to have been in the sun anytime recently.”

Spike chuckled, “Hey now, I didn’t say I go out during the day, sassy bint.”

“I don’t know what that means but I’m going to take offence.”

“Do what you will, just brush your hair first ok?”

And then, for reasons unknown to the both of them, he ran away laughing like a kid and she couldn’t help but chase, another small part of their grief giving way to the light of a new day and new friends.



Anya and Willow watched from behind the windows of the Magic Box and smiled.

“I told you raven feathers wouldn’t work as well as canary feathers.” Anya said smugly.

Willow took a deep breath and sighed, “Anya, I keep telling you, we’re not real witches and I wasn’t doing a spell, I was reciting the inventory’s Latin names so I could practice for my class tonight.”

“Say whatever you want Willow, but when’s the last time we saw either of them look even remotely happy?”

Willow nodded, “I know. It’s nice to see them together like that. I think they could both use a new friend right now.”

“I think they could both use an orgasm”

“Oh my goddess Anya, is that necessary?”

“I tend to believe orgasms usually are or else what’s the point?”

A small cough brought their eyes down to the little girl holding a small unicorn figurine.

“What’s an orgamin?”

Willow closed her eyes and prayed to whatever goddess was listening for help.

Anya smiled and knelt down, “Well sweetie, first off it’s not called an orgamin it’s called…”



Outside:

Buffy and Spike stopped running when they got to his shop, breathless and laughing.

“I can’t believe we just did that” she gasped out.

“Was a bit odd wasn’t it ducks?” he chuckled after taking a few deep breaths.

“Odd, but definitely of the good. Back to work for you?”

He ran a hand through his hair and mock-sighed, “Ya, but I don’t wanna’.”

“Thank you for everything today Spike, I had a really good time.”

“I did too. If I’m not overstepping my boundaries, do you think we could go for a movie and coffee later this week?”

Buffy struggled with an answer, and seeing her like that saddened him.

“All friendly, with only friendly intentions, I promise. I just like your company.”

“I like yours too and honestly I don’t know why the idea is bugging me, I would love to get to know you better but…”

“But you feel like you’re betraying him?”

She nodded softly. “I’m sorry but I can’t.”

“I understand, I do hope to see you from time to time though, have a good day Buffy Summers.”

She smiled and turned to walk away, when a large lighting bolt flashed through the sky and it began to rain. She wasn’t overly spiritual, but for some reason she felt as though Angel was trying to tell her something, something she couldn’t see through her grief and something she couldn’t want through her pain – live, be happy – the rain seemed to tell her.

She turned to Spike and smiled, “Is it too late to change my mind?”

Spike nodded his head in mock seriousness, “Yes, in the last 15 seconds I’ve decided to rebuke my invitation.”

She laughed, “How about Saturday night, around 8 o’clock?”

“Sounds good, now get in or you’ll end up soaked”

Buffy shook her head ‘no’, “I haven’t felt the rain in months, see you Saturday.”

A smile graced his lips as he watched her walk away, not knowing what had changed her mind but not dwelling on it either, he enjoyed her company and was glad to be able to get more of it, and that was that.

A chill went through him and he looked around, almost expecting to see someone as he remembered his mothers words from so long ago, ‘the rain holds many spirits William, each drop a voice that can be heard if you only listen’.

Had Buffy heard something? Her change of mind had certainly seemed to come out of thin air or so it had seemed at least. He turned around and entered store, trying to shake the feeling that something huge was coming.





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