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Author's Chapter Notes:
Buffy and Spike come face to face after four years and some secrets are reveled.

A huge thanks to my Beta Serendipity (Christine) for going over this chapter for me, thanks so much hun! Also a huge thanks to Edgehead (Mel) for the awesome banner
Chapter 17

Secret number two.

Buffy couldn’t believe the events of the last few hours, once Cordy had realized that Dawn was her niece she had to know everything about the toddler: when she started walking, what was her first word, and more. Of course, it had ended with Buffy calling Joyce as Cordy just had to meet her in person.

The second Dawn had walked into the house, Cordy had been right in front of her asking if she wanted to play, and of course Dawn lived to play. That had been over an hour ago and Buffy hadn’t heard a word from either of them since.

Smiling, she stood on the back steps watching Cordy push Dawn on the swing. Sipping her hot coffee, she had been so engrossed in watching Dawn and Cordelia that she hadn’t heard the front door open.

“Hello Buffy,” the familiar voice took her by surprise. Spitting her half mouth full of coffee on the grass below, she quickly tried to gather herself, wiping her chin as she heard him laugh

“Scare you luv?”

Finally turning to face him, she put a smile on her face.

“Just a little, how are you Spike?” she replied, trying to stay calm when on the inside she was going mad; her heart was pounding, palms were sweating and her mind was screaming how gorgeous he still was and how much she still wanted him.

“I’m well and you?”

“I’m good,” she smiled, turning back to watch her daughter play again. Spike couldn’t believe his eyes, she was just as he remembered her but there were small changes; her hair was longer, skin was darker, her frame was smaller and she no longer held that innocence in her face. It was clear she was a woman now and that her life had been stressful.

“That must be Dawn.”

Turning to look at him, Buffy nodded.

“Um yeah, Dawn Cordelia Summers.”

“You named her after Cordy?”

“Yeah.”

“She’s beautiful Buffy, how old is she?”

Swallowing a lump in her throat, she smiled trying not to look nervous.

“A little over three years old,” she answered quickly.

His mind reeled, that would mean Buffy had met Dawn’s father within weeks of their fight, it was clear to him then that she had most definitely moved on.

“So, how long have you and her father been together?”

“Actually we aren’t together.”

“Oh,” he replied hopeful. “So he just sees Dawn then?” he asked probing.

“Actually no, he has never met her,” she whispered, feeling guilty.

“What a ponce” he couldn’t help but say.

“It’s not his fault… it was a one night stand and I never saw him again.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry Buffy.”

“I’m not, she’s my world, I’m just grateful to have her,” Buffy smiled.

“So, there’s no one special then?” he asked.

Looking up at him, Buffy started to speak but was stopped when Dawn ran up to her laughing as Cordy ran behind her.

“Mommy mommy, aunt Cordy’s going to tickle me!” she squealed, hiding behind Buffy.

Buffy laughed softly at this.

“Oh no, well mom will protect you I promise,” Buffy smiled down at her.

“Who’s that?” Dawn asked, pointing at Spike.

Looking down at the little girl, Spike smiled.

“My name's…” he started, only to have Buffy interrupted him.

“Spike, his name is Spike sweetie.”

“Spike? That’s a silly name,” Dawn giggled.

Spike loved kids; they were so honest it was refreshing. Spike laughed with her.

“That’s what I keep telling him,” Cordy smiled.

“Well, I guess it is a little silly, but it’s only a nick name my real name is William.”

Buffy felt panic well up inside her, heat flood through her as she watched his real name slip from his lips, she couldn’t stop it and she knew what would happen next.

“Really? My daddy’s name is William,” Dawn smiled brightly. Both Buffy and Cordy cringed as Spike listened to her, a shocked expression forming on his face. “I’ve never met him, but mommy says he’s a good man with big blue eyes just like mine.”

It was in that moment, that Buffy knew the cat was out of the bag. She watched as Spike knelt before their daughter and studied her eyes.

”Oh my god!” his mind screamed, Dawn was his daughter. Standing up he tried to compose himself but he couldn’t stop the tears that started to burn his eyes as he looked at Buffy, who refused to look him in the eyes.

“Um Dawn, why don’t we go inside and play? It’s starting to get dark,” Cordy suggested, ushering the young girl inside and leaving Buffy and Spike alone.

“Please tell me it’s not true,” Spike started. Buffy felt her heart break, a part of her had always feared that Spike wouldn’t want Dawn. “Please tell me you didn’t keep my own daughter from me for three years.”

Buffy sighed in relief, he wasn’t upset because Dawn was his, but because she hadn’t told him.

“I can’t,” she whispered, still looking at the ground.

“Damn it Buffy! How could you not tell me I fathered a child?” he snapped.

Finally looking at him, she tried her best to explain.

“I’m sorry, I tried to call every day, to write and tell you about her, but all I could think about was that last conversation we had. I didn’t want to complicate your life and I didn’t do this on purpose, I was on the pill but it seems not everything is one hundred percent,” she sighed.

“I have a three year old daughter and I know nothing about her, do you know how that makes me feel?”

Trying to fight back tears, she could feel her heart breaking at his words.

“Her name is Dawn Cordelia Summers, she was born on the eighteenth of September at six fifteen in the morning, after seventeen hours of labor. She was six pounds nine ounces and forty eight centimeters long,” she told him.

He listened in amazement.

“Seventeen hours?” he asked stunned.

“Yeah, by the time she was born I thought I was going to die,” Buffy laughed. “She started crawling at six months, walking by the time she was one year old, her first word was mom; she’s sweet and smart, she has your eyes and my lips but most of all, she has your cocky attitude, she says what she thinks, which sometimes gets her into trouble.”

He laughed at her last words.

“I had noticed that.” Shaking his head, he sighed. “Buffy, telling me all this doesn’t help me know her, it doesn’t make up for the three years I have lost with her, I should have been there for all that… I want to spend time with her.”

Buffy smiled, happy that he wanted to be in Dawn’s life.

“I’m sure she would love that, we could go to the park and the beach…”

Spike was quick to cut her off

“Actually, I would prefer it if it was just Dawn and myself.”

Buffy couldn’t help the sting that went through her heart

“Oh,” she replied.

“I want to get to know her one on one, Buffy and right now I’m still pretty angry with you.”

Buffy smiled, nodding.

“Of course you can spend one on one time with her. Here is my mobile number so you can call and arrange a time to pick her up,” she smiled, passing him one of her cards.

“Thanks,” he replied, before going inside to see his daughter.

Buffy couldn’t stop the tears that slipped from her eyes, she was happy Spike wanted to be in Dawn’s life, but at the same time she was crushed he clearly wanted nothing to do with her.

Her heart was breaking, it had been four years. She had thought for sure she had moved on, but all it took was seeing him just once and she realized she hadn’t. But, it was more than clear that he had but no matter how she felt she knew she had to try and have a civil relationship with Spike for Dawn’s sake.


Chapter End Notes:
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