She turned around, “You said something about a stream where we could bathe…”
Spike nodded and walked past her and she followed without a sound. She had so much she wanted to say but didn’t know how to say or what exactly to say. Things were swirling around in her mind so fast she could barely keep up.
She watched as a stream came into view and she smiled thinking that she would again be clean. It would wash away all her aches and pains and would hopefully help them heal faster. Her clothes might even wash up well. It was too bad that they couldn’t sew the rips and tears but beggars can’t be choosers.
She dove in with her clothes on not even caring about the idea of getting wet. She was just dying to be clean. Spike laughed and took off his leather coat laying it aside thankful that so far no real harm had come of it.
The one time it was close, it had bellowed out behind him and the back had been twisted near his head therefore protecting it from the rocks. He followed Buffy’s lead and jumped in fully clothed. It was amazingly deep for a stream. Perhaps it was more like a river but it had almost no current, which he found strange. He could see no real reason for the stream to exist either.
There was a shoreline but that was at the bottom of the cliff. The stream just collected into a pool at the end, which is where Buffy swam off to.
Spike followed and together they swam and teased and splashed each other happy to be clean and feeling pretty good. Buffy’s blood had healed Spike back to almost perfect.
Buffy was well fed and had been healing the last day and night from her cuts on her leg. She was feeling well rested as well. She laughed with joy as she felt his hand grab her wrist pulling her close to him as he smirked, “I’ve got you now. What ever will you do with yourself?”
Buffy laughed and offered, “I’ll sink!” She swam under the water and beneath him to come up behind him splashing him with a big self-made wave.
He turned around to get a mouth full of water and was thankful he couldn’t drown. He sputtered out the water and Buffy laughed as she swam away again. They played in the water a good two hours before Spike finally broke up the fun, “We need to get going. We have a long way down the cliff and we need to make sure we can get far enough to chose a level with shelter.”
Buffy nodded in agreement and got out of the water followed by Spike. She shook off her clothes and flipped her short hair around spraying Spike with water. He shook his head at her and chuckled. He was enjoying seeing her happy.
She had spent all of the time that he had known her unhappy. Between her two one-night stands and Riley leaving her as well as Angel, her mother dying, her sister almost dying and her death, the girl had been through a lot. She deserved happiness and he was really excited to be the one to introduce her to it.
She needed a chance to be wild and free. She needed a chance to be herself whether that was in the sunshine or in the darkness with him. He realized he was sounding like a poof and was thankful no one could hear him. He realized that in his whole time of being in this dimension he never once missed his bond. He wasn’t able to sense Dru or Angel in this world but it didn’t seem to matter.
Usually they had acted as comfort, knowing that somewhere in the world they were out there living. Here they were unable to be sensed and Buffy was all that filled his head. He felt free as well. He wasn’t being held down by sunlight, or by vampire rules. He wasn’t expected to growl, vamp out or to protect the world. He could just be Buffy’s friend and lover. That was enough for him.
He noticed she was looking at him and nodded towards the cliff to signal her it was time to go. She turned without a word starting down the cliff.
Buffy mumbled, “I thought going down would be easier than going up. In a way it is but in another it’s not. It’s a lot easier to drop down to the next level but it’s harder to keep balanced.”
Spike nodded in agreement but still thought coming down was a lot easier. They were making great headway actually. They had been climbing down over 5 hours and it was almost evening and they had made it close to halfway. He figured at halfway they would stop for the night, hopefully finding shelter.
Buffy seemed in higher spirits today and was awfully chatty. She was talking about different ways she could raise money for the house expenses. Spike offered suggestions including him assisting, kicking Willow out, or her finding her niche.
He was partial to the assisting. He wanted her to go back to college and figured that by helping her with money, she could get some help from the school and he could help as well. He had gotten an education when he was growing up before he was turned so he figured Buffy should have the same advantages. Buffy didn’t seem totally opposed to the deal especially when he declared it would be legally gotten money, not just stolen.
Buffy smiled slightly as she reached for the next rock to scramble down to the next ledge. She was here climbing down a cliff with Spike and actually having a fruitful conversation. Not just a fluffy meaningless conversation but a real, true, life altering kind of conversation. She decided to fully participate, “I don’t know what I want to do with my life. Do Slayers even get lives? I always figured I’d die early and I wouldn’t live to see 20 much less 21.”
Spike chuckled, “I hate to break it to you, pet, but you mostly didn’t make it to 21.”
Buffy couldn’t stop herself from admitting, “I almost wish I didn’t.”
Spike jumped down next to her and she watched as rock stumbled further down the cliff and then her eyes got big as he swung her around briskly, “Don’t say that. Everyone missed you when you were gone. Hell, I’ve never cried so much in my bloody life and Dawn was right there with me keeping up. We never wish for a second that you didn’t make it back. Granted I would have liked you to not bloody remember where you were and how different things were but Slayer, love, Buffy…
You were given a second chance at life and a good one at that. No matter how bloody hard life gets, just remember you were given a second chance to make it all better. Not many people come back from death knowing there is something better out there. What you have to do is live this sodding life the best you can and the only way you can do that is by celebrating it.”
Buffy sat down for a rest knowing he had more to say. Spike didn’t disappoint her as he sat down next to her bending his legs and resting his elbow on each and pulled out a much needed cigarette, lighting it before finally whispering, “My life before and after being turned wasn’t all fun and games either. As you already know, Drusilla turned me after being rejected and made fun of by my peers. My father died when I was young, my mother was dying and well my life sucked as you often put it. I had nothing really going for me so I chose death. I didn’t realize it wasn’t all fun and games.
Angelus was a horror to live with and I constantly had to come up with new ways to be accepted into his little group. He taught me to be the worst vampire there ever was and I fought back to become what I am today.
My point isn’t to bloody bash Angelus or to say my life is harder than yours. My words aren’t always perfect but my point hopefully is clear. Life is what you make of it. You can either see it as one long chore as you wait for the afterlife, or it can be the best you can make it enjoying it while it still lasts knowing you might not have a third chance. You’re a brave soul, Buffy. Braver than most any person I’ve seen and your heart is full of love.”
Spike looked at her noticing her hands were folded as well as her legs and she was studying him or at least looking at him as though expecting him to continue. He sighed, “We should continue. We have a few ledges left to finish.”
Buffy nodded and stood up before whispering, “You really think I can make this life worth living?”
Spike nodded, “Imagine school for something you love, then a good job if you so choose, a house you own and adore, your sister well adapted and getting through life with college and friends. Perhaps you might even have a boyfriend and your friends getting along without needing you holding their hand every few minutes.”
Buffy nodded and then sighed, “Sometimes I almost feel as though my friends brought me back because they expected me to solve everything. Money was gone, Dawn was a wreck, you were lost, slaying was hard, and the bot wasn’t doing all its job from what I gathered. With all that, they brought me back from the dead just in time to deal with it all. It’s just been so damn hard.
I’m just me, Buffy, who happens to be the vampire slayer. I barely graduated from high school, died before even finishing my first year of college and I’m trying to raise a teenager who barely has had a chance to exist. I’m so tired of the responsibility of being alone. I feel like I’m drowning and I wish it would just end.”
Spike took her hand in his wanting to say so much but knew the time wasn’t right. He would instead show her what he meant by being there for her no matter what the future brings. She sighed and squeezed it catching his meaning and wanting so much for it to be true. She wished she could stop for the night here but knew Spike was right; they had further to go before they could stop to find shelter.
She gave his hand another squeeze and then started to make her way down the cliff again. Spike and her would take turns going first. Sometimes he would go first to catch her when she dropped if the jump or sliding was too much for her to do alone or she would make her way down with Spike close behind her to catch her if she fell. Sometimes she would help him down as well.
Together they worked slowly down the cliff mostly in a comfortable silence with both of their minds heavy in thought.