Spike whipped his towel at Buffy, hitting her lightly on the butt as she ran to the pool. Both, she and Spike, had worked up a sweat from training and sparring. Spike had been very aggressive and eager; A sure sign that he would win the fight for Dawn‘s freedom. He was confident and sure of himself, and each attack had been carefully delivered.
Buffy knew though, that they were used to fighting with each other. She hoped he could fight that well in the battle. She was happy that she came back “wrong” to do so. Now that Spike was able to hit Buffy, she could continue to help him train. The Slayer still wanted to know why he was able to hit her, though. Buffy made a mental note to ask the Witches when she returned home.
She sprinted to the edge of the pool, and then jumped in the air as she tucked her knees to her chest. She entered the pool with a perfect canon ball. Spike followed by doing a perfect dive, hardly any splash was made. She turned around and swam towards her lover. She grinned and wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a kiss. The vampire tried to deepen the kiss, but Buffy giggled, and then swam away. They both laughed as they splashed and wrestled in the pool.
After hours of playing they were both tired, and Buffy had turned into a prune.
Spike pulled himself out of the pool, and then helped Buffy out.
“I think the maid must be serving us dinner by now. Hungry, luv?”
She nodded, feeling starved, since all she had for lunch was a meat and cheese sandwich and some water. They walked back to the room, hand in hand, and then she twirled around to strip her bathing suit. Spike watched her with a grin as she put a furry robe on.
“You are feeling mighty used to being naked around me,” he leered. Buffy blushed as she looked down at her hands. He put his finger under her chin, lifting her eyes to meet his. “I didn’t say that was a bad thing. It was just an observation. I like it. It shows you trust me. It will work out well when we live together after returning home to Sunnydale.”
Buffy looked at him in shock and was, in a way, insulted that he would assume such a thing.
Sure, they had a good time and she had fallen in love with him. But having him move in with her was a huge commitment-it would make it…real. Things were different in Sunnydale, more complicated. It wouldn’t be as easy for them there as it was in this dimension. She didn’t like how he decided it on his own, without having a conversation with her about it first.
She put her hands on her hips. “I didn’t tell you we were living together. In fact, I don’t even remember inviting you into my house, much less living in it. I know you have an open invitation and have pretty much since we met, minus that one-month of your life, but that doesn’t give you the right to just pick up and move in without consulting me first,” she frowned and quickly took off her robe to put clothes on. “I don’t think I like this arrangement anymore. I think I’ll ask the maid for a second room. It’s just too cramped in this room with you here.”
She picked Fuzzball off her pillow, and then stomped out of the room. Buffy looked for the maid, but when she didn’t see her, she headed out of the castle and into the gardens.
As soon as Buffy left, Spike stood up to pace. He had blown it. As soon as Buffy's face had shown shock, he had known he had blown it. He had been so busy in his head dreaming of their future together, he had forgotten that Buffy was not dreaming along with him. What a daft git he was. He wanted to slam his fist into something he was so frustrated. How could he make such a blunder as to let her in on what he was thinking? Sure it made sense that they would move in together after all they have shared here but he shouldn't have just blurted it out like that. Angry at himself and the situation, he paced back and forth hoping with all his might that she would come back if given a bit of space. She had always come back in the past...surely this time wouldn't be different, would it?
Meanwhile Buffy sat on the edge of the fountain, in the moonlight, admiring how much brighter three moons really made everything. Buffy admired the flowers, which were sleeping peacefully. She was alone in the garden; alone in her thoughts. Her mind was going crazy with thoughts as she rested her chin on her knees, and her arms hugged tightly around her legs.
‘How did things get so crazy? How did I end up here? Why did I have to fall in love with another vampire? Things didn’t work out with Angel. Would Spike be any different? Would he always stay with me? Or will he leave me like every man does in my life. How am I ever going to explain this to my friends and to Giles? They will be so disappointed in me and probably try and stake him. I would never let that happen, though. God, why is my life so confusing?’
She stepped off the fountain, going to lie under a tree in the garden. She was surrounded by flowers and sighed as she felt her stomach grumble. She hadn’t eaten anything yet. She didn’t care as she rolled over onto her side and let the tears fall.
The Slayer picked up Fuzzball, who had snuggled next to her and put him on her shoulder, where he rubbed affectionately against her neck in an attempt to comfort her. Her tears became full-grown sobs as she curled up in a ball from the inner pain.
She hated that she always thought of other people before her own feelings. She hated that her gut reaction was to always flee. She had left Spike, who was the only person who had always been there for her. He had always stood by her side, even when she beat him up for it. She felt more sobs rake her body as she thought about how much easier life would be if she just had a partner. She shook her head violently as she tried to shake her feelings of love out of her. She never meant to fall in love with Spike but she realized that is what she was, head over heels in love with Spike. She wanted Spike. She sobbed even harder as her body shook from the pressure and power of the tears.
Fuzzball curled up on her shoulder, resting his head against her neck as she just continued to cry. She cried for the fact her sister was being held hostage, for the fact she might be taken away, by the social workers, by the fact she could have died in a car accident and how much she couldn’t relate to her. She cried for herself and how much she had lost. Angel had left her, Riley had left her, her mother had died, and the only person who she felt close to was Spike who was supposed to be evil and everything she was to be against.
She cried for Spike, as well, and everything he did for them. No one respected him or thanked him for it. He had been going against his very nature because he loved her. Spike really loved her, didn’t just pretend to love her, or say he loved her so much that he was leaving her but he stayed and loved her. She cried for her desire to be with him, but knowing her friends would never approve.
She hugged Fuzzball tight as the tears started to subside. He snuggled against her hand and she sighed wanting to feel Spike’s arms around her.
Buffy whispered to Fuzzball, “Is it bad to want Spike? I thought it was when I was in Sunnydale, but how bad can being in a relationship with someone who loves me really be bad?” She laughed, thinking it funny she actually wanted a response from the little ball of fuzz. “I just…life is tough and he makes me happy. He reminds me every minute I’m with him that there is something worth living for. He gives me hope, even if in the most unconventional ways, and he brings me back to life. Fuzzball, I want Spike.” She closed her eyes, rubbing her face against his fur as she stood up and went back inside.
Buffy entered the room to find Spike who was pacing still in his robe. Silently, she put down Fuzzball who ran over to the leaves Buffy had placed on the floor earlier and began to eat one. Spike looked up at her saw her red eyes, and rushed to her side, giving her a huge hug. Neither said a word as more tears fell from both of their eyes.
Silently, Buffy removed her clothing and Spike removed his robe to climb into bed together. Buffy placed Fuzzball on her pillow before curling up against Spike’s chest and closing her eyes to will sleep to come. Sleep came in a matter of minutes because of the safe, loving feeling Spike’s arms created around her.
She had a busy afternoon and night, with no energy due to lack of eating. Spike kissed the top of her head, realizing nothing was accomplished tonight but at least Buffy came back into his arms.
He closed his eyes, smelling in her scent along with the smell of salt and drifted off to sleep; thankful she was with him still.
When Buffy woke up from hunger pains, Spike was sleeping. Her eyes were still burning from the tears she had spent earlier so she carefully, as to not to wake Spike, crawled out of bed and sat down to eat a hot breakfast that the maid had, obviously, placed for her.
She offered Fuzzball some leaves and continued to eat while she did some thinking. Should she talk to Spike about what was discussed last night or were things better left unsaid? She looked over at him sleeping as she nibbled on her freshly cooked hot meat and eggs, and wanted so badly to wake him up and talk to him before she lost her nerve, but knew they both needed their sleep.
She planned to go back to sleep herself when she had a full belly. She kept meaning to ask him about how often he really needed to feed to be healthy. She just assumed once a day, but perhaps Vamps need it more. Lately, he had been feeding a lot more at a time from her. She didn’t mind, but perhaps that’s why once a day worked so well for him. He could fill up on her and have it last 24 hours or so before he was hungry again.
She closed her eyes as she drank down some water, thankful her belly was feeling fuller. She nibbled on some crackers with cheese and gobbled up some more roasted bacon-like strips and yawned, realizing that she definitely needed more sleep. Without thinking twice on her actions, she crawled back into Spike’s arms and smiled because she felt safe as he automatically wrapped his arms around her to hold her close as she fell back asleep.