Chapter Two

Buffy did her best to slide back into a normal life. Except for the occasional nightmare in which her sleep was haunted by creatures with claws and fangs, she felt she was handling it surprisingly well. In one of their morning chats over coffee, Joyce tentatively mentioned that she and Hank had expected Buffy to have more trouble adjusting to the outside world than it seemed she was.

Buffy shrugged.

"I don't know, Mom. I guess I should feel more confused—and sometimes I do. Honestly. I mean, I'm having to relearn my way around the neighborhood and the city's still a pretty big mystery." She peered at her mother and said with a smile. "I do know my way to the mall, though. You really don't need to keep taking time off work to take me shopping."

Joyce shifted uneasily. "I'm sure that's true, honey. But you know, I'm just not comfortable letting a girl your age--"

"I'm almost twenty-one, Mom," Buffy reminded her flatly.

"Yes, but..."

Buffy's face tightened into the expression her parents were beginning to recognize as her "You may think I'm fifteen, but I'm not; and I've been taking care of myself for quite a while " look. Joyce quickly backed down, just nodding and reminding herself that Dr. Swinson had given Buffy an explanation for her seemingly easy adjustment to the world and her surprising confidence in her ability to deal with it.

"I know you think it's odd, Buffy," she'd said in response to a question during one of Buffy's weekly visits. "But you have to remember, in your imagination, you've been living in the world all this time. As far as you're concerned, only the past couple of months when you began to emerge from your delusion have been spent here at Shady Pines."

Dr. Swinson had explained away Buffy's ability to be fairly current on slang, pop culture references and styles of dress by reminding her that she had spent large amounts of time just sitting in the dayroom, carefully restrained and sedated.

"Even though you were often lost in your own world, you were being exposed to a steady diet of television, and your subconscious was probably absorbing information from the shows that were on—regardless of whether you were aware of it or not."
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Shortly after Buffy's return, Joyce had taken her to the nearest mall to purchase some new clothes. Even if Buffy had wanted to wear the same things that had appealed to her as a teenager, they wouldn't have fit her marginally taller, more slender body.

Over cookies and iced tea in the food court, they talked a bit about Buffy's concerns about fitting in.

"You don't think it looks too 'I just got out of a mental hospital'?"

"No, honey. I think it looks fine. But if you want to, we can make an appointment with my hair dresser and you can get it cut some other way."

Buffy studied her reflection in the glass tabletop.

"I guess I'll leave it long for a while. It's what I'm used to. "

Joyce nodded. "It's probably not a good idea to make too many changes right away. Give yourself a chance to figure out who Buffy is now that she's all grown up."


It was on one of those shopping trips that Buffy began the process of weaning herself away from the constant supervision and attention. Beginning with not being completely financially dependent upon her parents. Although Joyce always insisted she could buy whatever she wanted, Buffy was only too aware of the money her parents had spent over the past several years just to keep her confined and safe from her own imagination.

Without consulting either parent, Buffy decided her first step should be to complete her education, and she called her old high school to get information about earning a GED. Information jotted down and in hand, she began her quest for a high school diploma.

She took a bus to the testing center, talked briefly with one of the counselors there, and took a sample test. Mildly surprised at how easy it was, she asked if she could take the real test right then. The pleasant woman laughed and suggested she come back in a few days, prepared to spend all day taking the five tests involved. She sent Buffy home with a study book and the time of the next scheduled test.

Three days later, Buffy walked out feeling confident and wondering if she would be able to keep her secret until the diploma came. She was home in time to greet Joyce at the driveway and smile mysteriously at her mother's questions as to where she'd been. Joyce responded to Buffy's happy hug with enthusiasm, but some trepidation.

"I'm glad you're so happy, honey, but can't you share why?"

"I will, Mom. As soon as I have something to share."

Two weeks later, they were all seated at the table when Buffy sprang her news on them.

"Oh my god, Buffy!" Joyce was almost speechless as she looked over the diploma, staring at her daughter with new respect. Hank, too, as he listened to Buffy's explanation about making the arrangements and taking the bus to the testing center and back, had to admit that she had shown herself capable of more than he was willing to credit.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," he said. "It's just that, to me, you're still Daddy's little girl, you know? And I worry."

"I know that, Dad - Mom. And I understand it. Really I do. But I have to start living my life. And I want to live it as an adult—not as fifteen-year-old Buffy whose mom and dad go everywhere with her."

"All right, honey. You've made your point. We'll try not to be so smothering or so protective. If you promise not to go running off to see the world or something."

"I wasn't actually thinking about going much farther than the mall and the community college. Since I've got that diploma, I may as well see how well I can handle college-level classes."

Buffy made a mental note to ask Dr. Swinson how her subconscious could have learned enough from a television set to pass a test designed for students with much more than a freshman year of high school, when in reality she'd not set foot in one for years. But for the time being, she pushed that disturbing thought aside in favor of taking advantage of the situation and using it to move closer to adulthood.

Her next step was to find a job. Preferably one that would allow her to attend college classes if and when she got in. Accepting Joyce's offer of a ride to the nearest mall, she began to wander up and down the corridors, hoping for inspiration to strike. She was contemplating looking into a waitressing job in one of the restaurants attached to the mall, when she spotted the "help wanted" sign in the window of a small bookstore. On a whim, Buffy entered the store and inquired about the job.

The friendly store owner introduced herself as Marcia and listened carefully to Buffy's stammering explanation for why she wanted to work there.

"So, you've been abroad for the past few years?" Marcia's innocent question had Buffy scrambling to come up with something better than "not around here".

"Not so much abroad, as just... not able to do a lot of things other girls do. That's why this will be my first real job."

"Were you ill?"

"Yes. Yes, I was. But I'm fine now, and ready to catch up on the things I missed. Like college and working."

After more discussion, during which she glossed over her hospitalization as best she could without actually lying, Buffy found herself employed, and with hours that could be flexible enough to allow her to attend classes at the community college.

As she met her mother outside, Buffy couldn't keep the happy smile off her face and Joyce quickly responded to it.

"You look pleased," she said, pulling away from the curb.

"You'd be pleased too if you had just gotten your first job," Buffy said, too excited not to blurt out her news.

"Oh Buffy! That's wonderful. Wait until your dad hears about this."

Hank was equally pleased to hear that Buffy was now, not only a high school graduate, but an employed high school graduate.

"That's wonderful, sweetheart. You don't know how good this makes me feel. It makes it all worth it. Every bit of it."

Buffy's happy smile faded a bit. "Every bit of what?"

"Nothing," Joyce said, sending her husband a glare. "It's nothing, honey. We're just really, really happy to have you home again. And yourself."

"Your mom's right, Buffy. I didn't mean anything - I was just remembering how l much I missed having our family dinners at our own table rather than the Shady Pines cafeteria; and how happy I am that we're all here again."

"Speaking of dinner," Joyce said, "I'd better get started on it. Do you want to help me, honey?"

"Oh, sure. I'd love to. Just let me put my stuff away and I'll be happy to show you how awesome I am in a kitchen." Buffy smiled and ran up the stairs with her bags, completely missing the looks that went across her parents' faces.

"How the hell does she know if she's awesome in a kitchen?" Hank growled. "Do you think she--"

Joyce shook her head, even as she admitted, "Dr. Swinson said this might happen. All her memories from the past five years are from that imaginary world she thought she was living in. As long as she realizes that the memories are only memories of an imaginary place and imaginary events, we're supposed to try to ignore it when she talks about them."

Hank rolled his eyes and went into the living room, muttering to himself about over-paid psychiatrists who were more interested in hearing about Buffy's delusion than they were in curing her of it.

~~~~~~~~


Three weeks later, Buffy was enrolled in the community college's summer semester - due to begin in another week - and was already enjoying her job in the bookstore.

"Sure beats working at McDonalds or someplace like that," she assured herself as she sneezed on the dust she'd just brushed off a top shelf. She teetered briefly on the stepladder, grabbing the shelf to keep herself steady, then began reaching for the last bit of dust. Which was one reach too many, as she lost her balance and began to slip towards the floor.

Her about to be embarrassing and possibly painful descent was halted when a strong hand gripped one arm while a muscular arm went around her waist, supporting her until she had recovered her balance. When she was safely standing upright, the hands released her and their owner stepped back.

"Lucky for you I was passing by."

Buffy looked up into warm (familiar?) brown eyes that belonged to a tall, very handsome man. Even with her standing on the second rung of the stepladder, he was still an inch or so taller than she was, but the ladder put their faces close together, giving her an opportunity to study him in great detail. She blushed at the admiration in his eyes and moved back as far as she could without falling off the ladder again.

"Yes, yes it was," she managed to say. "Lucky, I mean. Thank you for saving me from possible pain and humiliation."

"Anytime, Miss...?"

"Summers. Buffy Summers."

"It was my pleasure, Buffy." He smiled again.

"Is Will here?" he asked, glancing down the long row of shelves towards the back of the store.

"Uh, no. No, he isn't. I actually haven't met him, yet. Not in person. We don't usually work the same shifts. I'm in school and-- And you really don't care about why we don't work the same shift, do you?"

"I can't imagine not caring about everything Buffy," the man said with another smile. "In fact, if you'll tell me when you get your next break, I'll come back and we can sit down in Starbucks while you tell me all about yourself."

"I...well..." Buffy stumbled, her actual lack of experience with men interfering with the imaginary experiences that dream Buffy thought she'd had. She had no idea how to respond to his polite, but very smooth come on.

"Come on," he coaxed, obviously sensing her reluctance, "If you need a reference, you can always ask Will the next time you talk to him. He's known me for years."

Buffy nodded. "No, it's fine. I'm sorry. My social skills kind of suck sometimes. I get off around 7:00 for a half-hour break."

"Great! I'll pick you up at seven, then. See you later, Buffy."

With a wave he turned and exited the store, leaving Buffy staring after him in confusion. She wanted to run after him and ask him his name, but the phone rang and she got off the ladder to pick it up instead.

"Books and Browsers. May I help you?"

"Hey, Buffy, it's Will. How's it going?"

"Will! Hi! I need... I mean do you know a... there was this guy, and he said he knows you, and...."

There was a laugh and a sigh on the other end of the line. "So, you're trying to say that Sean stopped by tonight?"

"Is that his name? He didn't tell me his name, he just..."

"I'm pretty sure I know what he just..." Will said, laughing again. "That's his MO when he meets a pretty girl. Don't let him sweep you off your feet, luv. He's a charmer, but—"

"So, I shouldn't have told him I'd go out for coffee?" Buffy asked in a small voice.

She could hear the smile in Will's familiar voice as he said warmly, "Of course you should, Buffy. It's just coffee. Enjoy yourself; just don't believe everything he tells you."

Buffy had given up trying to convince herself that his slight accent didn't remind her of Spike and Giles, and perhaps that was why they'd formed such a warm, if tentative, friendship over the phone. She could now even hear him call her "luv" and "pet" without flinching and picturing a vampire with shockingly white hair.

After some hesitation, she went with her gut feeling that she could trust him, and said, "I don't know much about guys - I've never - I mean I don't date much and I don't think I know what to do."

Frustration with her inability to be honest about where she'd been colored her voice and she could hear Will's concern as he said, "Buffy? If you're not comfortable going out with him, don't do it. Just tell him to come by sometime when we're both there and I can introduce you properly and come along as a chaperone."

"No," she said, standing up straighter and speaking firmly. "I'll be fine. I'm just being silly. It's not like I'm some teeny bopper who's never been on a date." She crossed her fingers behind her back and hoped she wouldn't have to explain that said dates had occurred when she was in her early teens.

"Of course not! Beautiful girl like you - probably had a lot of dates, yeah?"

Buffy giggled. "You don't know what I look like," she said. "But thanks, anyway."

"You're welcome, luv. So, aside from a coffee date with Sean McCarthy, what have you accomplished this evening?"

The conversation quickly went into an exchange of information about the day's happenings and the expectations for the evening. Promising to check back before closing time to see how her date had gone, Will told her "good-bye" and she went back to her dusting chores.

Buffy's nerves were calmed considerably by seeing how comfortable her boss was with Sean when he returned promptly at seven; and she went off happily with Marcia's "take your time; enjoy your dinner" ringing in her ears.

Instead of Starbucks, Sean insisted on taking her to one of the fast food restaurants in the mall, saying that if it was her dinner break, he was going to be "damn sure" she got a meal. Finding a relatively quiet table, they ate their meals and exchanged small talk about themselves. Fortunately for Buffy, Sean seemed quite happy to monopolize the conversation, telling her all about his job working for a law firm downtown, about his apartment near the beach and about how he and Will had known each other since high school.

"So, you guys are like best friends?"

"I guess so. We've gone in different directions career-wise, but we still enjoy each other's company enough to hang out as much as we can."

"He sounds very nice over the phone," Buffy said. "Is he really like that in person?"

Sean pretended to think, then laughed. "Yeah. He's pretty much what he seems to be. He's a great guy. As long as you don't piss him off, anyway. He's a hell of a fighter if he loses his temper. Studied all sorts of martial arts and stuff like that."

Buffy's mind inexplicable strayed to the wide assortment of martial arts moves she seemed to have stored in her memory and she temporarily lost the gist of the conversation.

"Buffy? Buffy? Where'd you go?" Sean was smiling at her with a bemused look on his face.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry! I just--" She blushed and cringed mentally, but he was laughing and seemed unbothered by her zone-out.

"Hey, no biggie. I do that myself sometimes - I get distracted by something and the next thing you know, it's Tuesday already."

"Heh. Well, I'm sorry, anyway. It was rude of me."

"So, what was it?" he asked. "That took you away from me?"

"Oh, it was...it was the martial arts stuff, I think. I used to...that is, I think I...You know what? It doesn't matter. Tell me more about your job. It sounds fascinating."

It was soon time for Buffy to return to the store, and Sean walked her back, chatting the whole time about his job, his weekend activities and his latest hobby - making it easy for her to resist volunteering more information about herself. They got back to the store to find that Marcia had already left and in her place was a young man wearing rimless glasses and too-long curly light brown hair.

Before he could introduce himself, Sean bellowed, "Will! What are you doing here? I thought you weren't working tonight."

"Had to make sure you were doing right by Buffy, didn't I?" Will said with a smile in her direction. He extended his hand and Buffy automatically reached out and shook it as he continued, "Did he treat you right? Or do I have to take him out behind the mall and put the fear of God into him?" He squeezed her hand lightly before releasing it to favor Sean with a mock glare.

Buffy laughed nervously at the idea of the slender, bookish man in front of her taking the much larger Sean anywhere, but stopped when she remembered what he'd said about Will and his temper. She quickly nodded, saying, "Yes, he fed me and entertained me and got me back to work on time. So it's all good." She favored Will with a dazzling smile, pleased when he smiled back at her and stopped pretending to glare at Sean.

"Glad to hear it." He turned toward Sean and answered the other man's earlier question as if there had been no interruption. "Marcia had to leave for some kind of baby emergency, and she called me to come in for her."

"What's wrong?" Buffy's anxious question brought his head swiveling back to her.

"Nothing serious. Just something the babysitter couldn't handle and Dad wasn't home yet. We're not to worry - those were her direct orders."

Buffy nodded and moved away from the two men to wait on one of the browsing customers who was staring at a shelf and frowning. While she helped the woman find the latest book on becoming multi-orgasmic - "for my best friend," she hastened to assure Buffy - Sean and Will chatted quietly at the front of the store.

It was a busier night than normal for that time of the year, and after having one too many conversations interrupted by either Buffy or Will - or both - having to help a customer, Sean told them "goodnight" and left, promising Buffy he would come back soon and treat her to a real dinner.





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