The mind is made unchanging, for it finds
Miracle, ecstasy, the impossible hope,
The flagstone under all, the fire of fires,
The roots of the world.’
William Butler Yeats
Giles had decided to call it a day after that. Xander went off to pick up pizzas while the rest of the team broke up into small groups, keen to discuss the information Wesley had divulged.
Buffy and Rowan had borrowed Willow’s laptop and were looking up anything they could find about Atar. The two girls were excited and intrigued by the articles they found, the concepts and descriptions so reflective of Buffy’s experiences and Rowan’s visions. They sat together reading, comparing ideas and considering the implications their new knowledge would have on Spike’s whereabouts and rescue.
Willow and Oz had gone through to her and Kennedy’s room so they could try some self-meditation. It didn’t take long for Oz to get Willow to relax enough to slip into a meditative state. Although she wasn’t able to single out that particular memory, they both felt pleased at the progress they’d achieved so quickly and Willow promised to practice again that night.
Giles had drifted over to Wesley, eager to find out any extra information about Cyvus Vail. In turn Wesley wanted to know more about both of the prophecies. It wasn’t long before they wandered down the hallway to the room that Giles shared with Xander so that the Watcher could dig out a copy of the prophecies and also show Wesley the scythe.
They were both keen to try and fill in some of the missing pieces of the puzzle, and Giles couldn’t help but consider how much more he enjoyed working with Wesley now than he had all those years ago in Sunnydale, and whether the ex-Watcher would be interested in joining their new organization. Giles began talking about his hopes for the new Council and the progress they’d made so far in rebuilding, subtly, or so he hoped, baiting the hook.
Faith had taken Kennedy under her wing. Although their upbringings had been as removed from one another as you could possibly get, she sensed a lot of similarities in their underlying personalities. Kennedy’s brash over confidence seemed to Faith to thinly veil a mass of insecurities. She could clearly remember the confusion and frustration she’d felt at discovering her unique gifts and abilities were already shared by someone who seemed to do it better: slay better, make friends better, earn more respect.
Faith had made her peace with those feelings now, but her journey there had been a hard and bitter one, one she hoped Kennedy could avoid. At Faith’s suggestion the two girls made their way down to the hotel gym so they could work off some of their energy and in the younger slayer’s case, some frustration. A few circuits and some light sparring and Faith knew they’d both feel better.
The two Slayers were the last to make their way back to Buffy and Rowan’s suite. Xander had already been back for a while, and everyone sat around munching on pizza and sharing plans and ideas for rescuing Spike. Buffy smiled at her two Slayer sisters as they grabbed their slices and came to sit on the floor beside her. Oz had left earlier, due to play in a gig with a group of musos he’d met in Seattle. Kennedy’s humour was much improved on noticing the bass player’s absence, and she was content to listen to her girlfriend chatter on about her meditation experiences.
Faith had plonked herself down next to Buffy, ripping into a pile of pizza, ravenous after her workout. Buffy looked at her colleague enviously and a little nervously.
“You know Faith, I’ve just realised that I haven’t trained or fought or done much of anything since Sunnydale. That’s almost six weeks of nothing.”
“Well you’ve had a heap of stuff on your mind B.,” Faith commiserated. “You’ve had it tough, so give yourself a break.”
“Yeah, but that’s the trouble. I’ve given myself a huge break. I’m probably so unfit.” Buffy chewed her lip anxiously. “I’m worried about how I’d cope if we have to fight this Vail guy. Shit I could so get my ass kicked.”
“Well for a start I think you’re totally underrating yourself. You’re still the one B.” Buffy looked up sharply at this but Faith was staring into space. “You know I’ve thought about this a lot since Sunnydale, and even more over this last week. I mean I know I got these mad skills and I’m pretty much always bitchin’ keen for a fight. But you’ve just got that extra something. Maybe its instinct, maybe its that you back yourself, but whatever it is you’re the number one, the top dog. And I’m okay with that, as long as I get to be your second in command Slayer wise. That Kennedy’s an okay kid, but she ain’t getting my spot.”
Buffy smiled and shook her head, but Faith continued on.
“We’ve got your back anyway B. In fact you can just sit back if you like.”
“Look I really appreciate that Faith, but I wanna be in the thick of it, in fact in the front of it. I mean he’s my guy and I guess I wanna be able to fight for him. God knows I did little enough of it while he was al … well you know, before the Hellmouth,” Buffy finished glumly.
“Wow girl, this is the real thing huh?” Faith asked in amazement.
“Oh Faith, its like I can’t breath without him here. All these years he’s been this pain in my ass, getting in the way, being rude and smart and annoying. But he’s always been there and for most of the last three years he’s always been there for me. And now there’s this great big hole where he used to be. And my heart aches like all the time. The only thing that’s keeping me from flying into a million pieces is the thought that in a few days time I can find this warlock and seriously kick his ass and make him give me my boyfriend back,” Buffy growled.
“Okay, if that’s what you want, then its you and me, down in the gym, tomorrow morning. I’m gonna put you through your paces. You’re gonna to be aching and calling me every kind of bitch, but we’re gonna get you ready to kick some serious sorcerer ass.” Faith grinned and punched Buffy lightly on the arm before she jumped up to grab the last piece of pizza.
Wesley wished them all a good night, assuring them that he’d be back mid morning with as much info on Vail as he could find out. Giles followed him out, heading back to his room for a quick nightcap before he turned in for the evening. Willow, Kennedy and Faith all wandered off to their suite, Willow keen to try her meditation techniques again before she and Kennedy turned in. Buffy wanted to ring Dawn so she went through to her room, leaving Rowan and Xander still deep in conversation.
The two brunettes had been sitting and talking with one another every since Xander had arrived back with the pizzas, so intent on their discussion that when Buffy called out goodnight, they seemed surprised to see that the room around them had emptied out.
After catching Dawn up on their developments and Dawn sharing all the progress that she and Althanea had made, Buffy had passed on her love, wished her sister good night and collapsed into bed. One minute she was sliding between the cool sheets, her head sinking into the plush pillows and the next she was wrapped up against Spike’s cool body, her head cushioned by his shoulder. His lips grazed her forehead as his fingers skated along the contours of her spine.
She lay half astride him, her belly resting on his hip and the thigh of her splayed right leg pressed against his semi-hard erection. The abundant wetness and pleasant, deep-seated ache of her sheath indicated the nature of their recent activity. Buffy lazily opened her eyes, and realised they were back in her basement, entwined on the cot in one another’s arms, the night before the battle. She smiled as she felt Spike’s cool spendings trickle from the mouth of her pussy, aware at that moment that his emissions, deposited high in her belly would give rise to their child.
She remembered the regrets she’d had in the Hellmouth about not letting him know her feelings earlier and decided to fix that now – dream or not. Buffy tipped her head back and looked earnestly into Spike’s beautiful blue eyes. She smiled shyly at him before taking a deep, steadying breath.
“You know I love you don’t you?” she said quietly.
Spike’s eyes widened in delight and he smiled back at her. Drawing her back into his arms he held her tight and whispered, “ Oh pet, you don’t need to say that. It’s enough to be able to make love to you and to have you lie here in my arms. And I know you’re fond of me. Maybe one day you really …”
“Oh you stupid, pig-headed, blind vampire,” Buffy yelled at him, pulling back far enough that he could read the lines of frustration written across her face. “This is that ‘one-day’. In fact it has been for quite a while. Spike,” her voice softened as her eyes glistened, “I love you, I do. How can I not, when there is so much about you to love?”
She brought her fingers up to gently trace his scarred eyebrow and stroke the sharp plane of his cheek. “This gorgeous, expressive face that is so dear to me.” She leaned forward to gently kiss his eyelids, “these eyes that have seen everything I do and always look out for me,” she ran her thumb across his plump bottom lip, “this mouth that lets me know when I’m right and when I’m being a bitch and always how much I’m loved,” she smoothed her hand across his shoulder, sketching the contours of his biceps, “these arms that have fought for me and protected me and held me close,” her hand curved round his arm and trailed over his chest, pressing firmly over his left breast, “this heart that has loved me without ever giving up on me,” her fingertips ghosted down across his rib cage, pausing at his hip before continuing down the side of his thigh.
Buffy slid to her left, drawing her splayed leg back from Spike’s groin, dragging her fingers lightly back up his thigh and across his abdomen towards his lengthening cock, gripping it firmly as she looked up at him once more, “and every inch of this beautiful body of yours, that has sheltered me, and strengthened me, that has filled me with more pleasure than I could believe possible, that has gifted us with a new life, all of this makes up the man I love.”
“Buffy, my sweet Buffy,” Spike whispered, as he gazed at her, the look of longing and hope and adoration blazing bright across his face. “Do you really mean it? Tell me, tell me again.”
She gazed at him, finally dropping every one of her defences, so that he could read the look in her eyes, see how much she adored him, worshipped him, cherished him, and loved him. With her heart open wide she told him, “Spike, I love you, now and forever. You are the one.”
“Oh God, Buffy. My Slayer, my love.” He rolled her onto her back, drawing her tightly against him as he kissed her lips passionately, hungrily. “I love you, I love you so much,” he muttered as he began to blaze a trail of hot kisses across her face and down her neck, licking and sucking his way over her chest until he closed his cool lips over one of her aching nipples.
“Spike, please,” she begged him, his mouth continuing to tease her breasts as his hand drifted down her body, tangling in her curls, before thrusting one finger, then two deep into her core. “Please, baby,” she gasped as she dragged his head back up, attacking his mouth with her own, “I need you in me, now.”
Spike pulled back, looking deep into Buffy’s eyes as he shifted his weight to his right arm. Reaching down with his left hand, he took hold of his rigid shaft and positioned the head at Buffy’s wet opening. Their gazes locked together as he slid deep into her heat.
“Oh God! Oh Spike! Oh yes, yes baby, yes! Oh Spike! Oh I love you, I love you Spike! Oh yes, yes!” Buffy moaned as she twisted her legs around Spike’s hips, shimmying her butt up off the bed and slamming herself up into each thrust of his hard cock.
“My Buffy! My Slayer! I love you kitten, I love you my sweet, sweet, Buffy!” Spike punctuated each declaration with a chorus of adoring kisses set to the rhythmic beat of his pounding hips. He leaned forward on his elbows, his fingers threading themselves through Buffy’s hair, shaking and groaning with passion as his lips danced wildly down her neck, latching onto the tender skin that quivered in time with the beat pulsing just beneath its surface.
Buffy panted as Spike nipped, licked and sucked the delicate skin of her neck and slowly dragged her hands away from his pumping butt muscles, where they’d been conducting the rhythm and tempo of their dance. Without hesitation, she slid them upwards, her left hand splayed across Spike’s shoulder blade, her right pressed against the back of his head, holding him firmly in place.
“Oh fuck Spike, please, please do it,” she gasped, locking him in the cradle of her body.
“Oh Buffy, Buffy, my Buffy, mine,” he panted just before she heard the whisper of his face shifting, and felt a sharp tug as her skin gave way beneath his gentle fangs. His body stilled as he drew one, two, three mouthfuls of her precious essence from her neck, then swiped his tongue over the wound and pulled back to stare deeply into her eyes. “My Buffy, mine,” he continued to echo as he rapidly began thrusting his hips forward, surging deep within her, groaning as he erupted into her core.
Buffy reached out, caressing the bony ridges of his demon face. “Take my heart Spike, it belongs to you. I’m yours Spike, yours!” she screamed as her orgasm exploded through her body, bursting into a myriad of colours and sensations in her brain, before all faded to black.