M. Scott Peck
Buffy lay wrapped in Spike’s arms. She felt totally sated, a little achy and absolutely blissful. They’d spent the last two hours getting… reacquainted, and what a lot of ground there had been to re-familiarize themselves with.
Of course the majority of the time had been spent rediscovering one another’s bodies, mapping out every plain, every summit, every basin, every ridge; memorizing the topography by touch and taste; sensually re-traversing the terrain of one another’s erogenous zones. For the first time ever, they made love to one another openly, giving voice to their passion and devotion, sharing their emotional joy and physical pleasure.
He’d almost distracted her with his very important and highly relevant question about the extra heartbeat. As her hands had trailed down his chest towards his belt, Buffy had had only a split second to decide whether to answer him then and there or put that discussion off for later. The touch of his wicked tongue, tracing a path down her neck, had settled the matter by default. No contest! Guh!
They’d begun by tearing one another’s clothes off in a ravenous hunger before melting, naked, into one another’s arms, desperate to connect skin to skin. Buffy had sunk down onto the bed, bringing Spike with her. He’d lain prone upon her, every part of him touching every part of her, his hands smoothing her arms and shoulders, his tongue savoring her mouth, her jaw, her neck; his grinding hips stirring her senses, heating her from within. All the while declarations of love and sighs of lust had fallen from their lips.
When Spike had finally pushed his way into her, Buffy was dripping wet and already on the verge of bliss. He’d thrust hard three times which took her over the edge. Feeling Buffy’s muscles contract sharply around his cock had been enough to set him off as well and only half a dozen strokes later Spike was coming. His warmth had flooded her, and she had come with him, climaxing together in a red-tinted haze of rapture.
Despite this euphoria, for Spike, the intensity of their coupling had been easily eclipsed by the subsequent, simple experience of lying alongside his love, legs entwined, fingertips dancing gracefully over one another’s arms and sides, gazing into one another’s eyes as they’d exchanged tender kisses and whispered words of devotion. Nobody had ever looked at him that way before, she’d made him feel precious and worthy and totally irreplaceable.
For Buffy, lying next to Spike, her equal, her mate, made her feel safe and unburdened and utterly treasured. Finally, after weeks of waiting to exhale, she could breathe again. In his arms, his palm cupped lovingly over her lower abdomen, she was home.
Slowly their kisses and caresses had grown more fervent and the gentle embers of their afterglow had ignited anew, roaring into a sudden, glorious blaze. This time, they had spent longer, taken their time to build the pleasure, through peaks and plateaus, until they’d finally screamed out their completion.
They had drifted in and out a light slumber, until a polite but insistent rapping on the bedroom door dragged Buffy from her blissful reminiscence. She slipped out of Spike’s relaxed embrace, wrapped and fastened her robe around her naked form, and checking that he was left decent by the drape of the sheet, tiptoed over to the door to crack it open.
Faith stood there, smirking gleefully while trying to peer past Buffy into the room.
“Shit B, you’re goddamned glowing!” the brunette exclaimed enviously, as she shook her head in wonder. Buffy beamed back at her openly. Her eyes were clear and bright and radiating pure contentment.
“I can’t explain how amazing… its not just the sex, although the sex… but the love… and the connection, its… its…” Buffy’s voice drifted off dreamily as her eyes lost their focus. “Oh Faith, I’m so happy I could burst,” she squealed, uncharacteristically bouncing on her toes before throwing herself into her sister slayer’s arms for a joy filled embrace.
Faith returned the impromptu hug awkwardly, a virtual stranger to such simple expressions of friendship as this. But slowly and insistently, a timid sense of delight began to filter through her natural feelings of discomfort, flooding her with a mixture of wonder and longing, as she stood enveloped in her friend’s arms. Buffy’s euphoria was infectious, and the simple act of sharing it with her made Faith suddenly yearn for more… what she didn’t know – friendship, intimacy, a love of her own, maybe all three, but her very being was unrestrainedly crying out for things she’d never even dreamed of.
Faith stepped back, drawing in a deep shaky breath. Buffy grabbed her hands, squeezing them convivially. The two girls stood, hands linked, eyes sparkling as they grinned at one another, one unrestrainedly, the other somewhat wistfully.
“You look fantastic B,” Faith remarked earnestly. “You really are glowing girl, practically radioactive. The vamp loving certainly puts a sparkle in your eyes. And if it was up to me, I’d leave you and your honey in peace for as long as you wanted.” She dropped Buffy’s hands and shrugged apologetically, “But Giles is getting super jittery. He keeps pacing up and down then stopping with his head on the side as if he’s listening for something. Then he seems to realize what he’s doing, whips his glasses off, polishes them hard out and then yells at us. We can’t take much more. And Angel is just as bad, muttering unflattering things about Spike under his breath and whining that Buffy must be under some sort of spell. He doesn’t seem nearly so hot when he’s whimpering like a kicked puppy,” she mumbled to herself.
Buffy raised her eyebrow in mild interest at that last statement, but decided not to comment. “Alright,” she grinned generously, “I wouldn’t want to subject you to anymore Giles-fretting or Angel-whining torture. Give us ten minutes to shower and dress and we’ll get the show on the road.”
“Sounds good,” Faith sighed in relief, “but no showering together alright, cos I’m staying right here and I don’t want to be exposed to your groinyness,” she bit her lip enviously. “Do you want a snack? You’ve missed lunch so you must be starving.”
Buffy’s tummy rumbled and she nodded hungrily. “Oh and Spike must be…”
“It’s cool B,” Faith interrupted. “Oz has already been out and picked up some blood. You go and get ready and I’ll be all June Cleaver in the kitchen.” She blinked and shook her head in self-incredulity as Buffy finger waved and slipped back inside the bedroom.
Twelve minutes later a clean, dressed Buffy strode back into the lounge, this time linked hand in hand with a doting Spike. He was grinning in delight and seemed somehow younger and less aloof than the vampire Faith had got to know in Sunnydale. He finally dragged his eyes away from Buffy as they reached the kitchen and glanced over at the brunette slayer, smiling warmly at her.
“Hey Faith,” he greeted her openly and stepped forward to quickly embrace her. “It’s great to see you.”
“Whoa!” Faith gazed at Spike in shock, “What was that? You’re …”
“Yeah, we’re not sure yet,” Buffy shrugged nonchalantly, “One of Spike’s upgrades we think.” She glanced at her lover who just smirked in pleasure. “Oooh, pizza,” she squealed as she spotted the food laid out on the breakfast bar.
Faith had nipped next door while Buffy was showering to assure everyone that the super duo were on their way. She’d grabbed two bags of blood and the leftovers from lunch, using the microwave to prepare the mini feast. Now she watched in amusement as the two blondes gulped and guzzled their way through their snacks (Spike consuming a large slice of pizza as well as two mugs of blood) before they all set off down the hallway towards Giles’ suite.
The room was silent as they stepped through the door, its occupants holding their collective breaths. The wide range of expressions indicated an array of reactions to their intimate stance and firmly linked hands, from Rowan and Willow’s obvious approval through Wesley’s fascination to Giles’ concern and Angel’s dark scowl.
Giles cleared his throat and slid his glasses firmly back into place, taking stock of himself as he rose from his armchair. “Welcome back Spike. Its um, good to see you. I apologise profusely for interrupting your um, ah, recovery time,” he blushed and reached for his glasses again before steeling himself and continuing. “However it is critical that we determine the circumstances and location of your hiatus in order to establish if your return is indeed permanent and that your previous status is uncompromised.”
“Huh?” Buffy, Xander and Faith all uttered at the same time, looking at Giles in confusion.
“What he means pet,” Spike uttered affectionately to Buffy, “Is he wants to know where I was, what it was like there, whether I’m back for good, and if I’m as undead as ever. Oh, and whether I’m still all souled up I’d wager.”
“Yes well, that’s essentially the gist of it,” Giles added impatiently, “And I’m sorry if it’s inconvenient, but as I’m sure Buffy has explained, your existence is rather vital these days.”
Spike turned to Buffy, eyebrow raised in question as he shook his head at her mischievously. Turning back to Giles he smirked unashamedly and boasted, “Nah, we didn’t quite get down to sharing those sort of details. Bit busy with other types of communication.”
Buffy could hear Angel’s low growl from across the room as Giles rubbed his forehead briskly. She squeezed Spike’s hand and whispered “Behave,” in his ear to dampen his amused chuckle.
“Right then,” Spike continued, “Best we get ourselves comfy and exchange notes.” He glanced around the room, noting a short, dark-haired guy, the Wolf boy he realized with a start, vacating an armchair for them. He tugged Buffy’s hand and they made their way over to the seat. As Faith perched herself on the arm of Angel’s chair and Giles and the young wolf made themselves comfortable around the room, Spike settled into the empty chair, pulling Buffy down onto his lap. Neither of them could bear to be out of contact with one another.
“Okay, guess I should start at the beginning. When the bauble went off it certainly hurt like a bugger but at the same time it felt great. The light seemed to pour into me and channel out through my soul. Scary shit but made me feel strong and invincible, with a bonus that I was killing everyone of those ugly Turok Han in sight. Then Buffy was there, holding my hand an’ telling me she loved me.” Spike locked eyes with the girl on his lap, stretching out his right hand to her left, once again feeling the heat, this time emotional rather than physical, flare between them.
“Knew you were telling the truth pet. Could feel your love burning through my body, caressing my heart.” He spoke directly to Buffy, but although his voice was quiet, it carried to every corner of the silent room. “Felt so good kitten, but I had to get you outta there. My turn to save you; be the hero and all that rot. So I denied your love and sent you away.”
Silent tears had filled Buffy’s eyes as Spike moved forward to touch his forehead to hers. “Love you Buffy. Know you love me. Never gonna leave you again,” he whispered solemnly. Sighs filled the room as he reached down to place a gentle kiss on her lips then pulled her into his arms.
The loving scene had done a good job of dispelling any lingering doubt about Spike’s feelings. Even Angel could no longer deny the sincerity and depth of the blonde vampire’s love for the Slayer. It didn’t mean he had to like it though.
Spike cleared his throat and continued on, “Could feel my body start to incinerate after Buffy left. Didn’t hurt though. Know I’m gonna sound like a poof, but it was like my soul was singing with joy; felt like my heart was gonna burst with happiness. Was yelling and laughing like I was in some sort of rapture; knew my body was disintegrating but it was like I was standing on the threshold of another, well not another world, but another plane of existence. A kind of Nirvana!” he murmured self-consciously, “And I couldn’t wait for my body to drift away so I could cross over.”
“Oh my God,” Buffy gasped in despair, “I pulled you out of Heaven. How could I, after …”
“No pet,” Spike interrupted firmly, her hand still clutched in his. “Wasn’t like that, not like Heaven.” He paused, carefully considering his description. “It was more like an experience than a place. It was Light and Divine Fire.” His voice had taken on a reverent tone and his expression was serious as he began to recall everything that had occurred. “I know some of you won’t believe this,” he glanced over at Giles and Angel and Xander, “But it was like a religious experience, one of spiritual enlightenment.” He paused again, struggling with the feelings of awe and astonishment that continued to envelop him that he should have been chosen to undertake such a process.
“Actually Spike,” this came from the tall, quiet Brit across the room, one of Angel’s crew Spike recalled, “Nothing of what you’ve said is unbelievable to any of us. Astonishing, even shocking perhaps, that the recipient of such an experience could be one such as yourself, a vampire. But we had suspected from our research something of this manner had occurred. All that remains is for you to provide us with the details.”
“Right then,” Spike nodded self-deprecatingly at the eager faces that surrounded him, including Buffy’s who was stroking his hand and looking at him in awe. “On with the tale then. Being consumed by that blaze was like undergoing a fiery test, but one that I somehow knew all the answers to.” He had subconsciously slipped into a more refined and solemn mode of speech. “I wasn’t scared or confused at any stage. It felt right, like I was exactly where I was supposed to be, going through something I was born for. The Light and Fire flowed through me and around me, filling me with physical and spiritual strength, wisdom, truth and love with serenity. My soul was incandescent with joy,” he shook his head again in amazement, “And I felt pure, cleansed, free of sin, all my evil deeds wiped away. Which, yeah, I know, considering …”
A broody Angel had glanced sharply at Spike during this last statement, muttering darkly about cleansing bubbles and enviously considering the opportunities he had missed.
“How long were you there for?” Buffy asked in wonderment, her question completing their earlier exchange.
He shrugged calmly. “It could have been but a moment or it may have been endless eons. Time was totally irrelevant. It was utterly peaceful and my mind seemed to expand to take it all in. I floated in that perfect Divine Light, filled with tranquility and strength, endless knowledge and passion, truth and boundless love.” He gazed at Buffy lovingly, “And my love for you echoed strongest of all, across time, across space, across dimensions. I always knew you’d bring me home Buffy, that we belonged together and that finally I was worthy of you.”
There were a few teary eyes and wistful expressions around the room as the two lovers embraced and kissed once again. Xander snuck Rowan’s hand into his as he smiled down at her bashfully. Willow, seated next to Kennedy, with Oz seated on the floor at her feet shook her head in confusion as she felt both of her companions subtly lean into her. Angel, busy once again contemplating his own navel, looked up suddenly, right into Faith’s wickedly glittering gaze. She winked at him as she slowly ran a sharp fingernail down his bicep.
Wes and Giles, oblivious to the racing hearts and increased sexual tension in the room, interrupted the little love fest with a string of excited questions.
“So were you consciously trying to get home, back to Buffy as it were? Could you sense the child as well as her?” Wes asked in measured tones, exactly as Giles burst out impatiently with “Do you still feel enlightened and pure? Are you even a vampire anymore?”
They turned and eyed one another sheepishly before grinning ruefully and turning back to Spike.
“Hold your horses Holmes and Watson.” Spike’s voice cut sharply through the chuckles, underlined as it was by a note of confusion. “All good questions I’m sure but what, what the hell was that bit about a child?”
His voice had risen in a high little quaver as all eyes turned to look at Buffy in surprise.
The girl in question blushed and bit her lip nervously as she glanced up at Spike. “Ooops?”