Bradley Whitford
Giles leapt to his feet in disbelief. “Buffy, I can’t believe you didn’t tell him. I can understand waiting for the rest but this at least you should have shared immediately. And that’s the father in me speaking, not the Watcher.” He shook his head in disappointment.
“No, no I was going to, in fact he asked or at least wondered,” she babbled, “But then we got, um, kinda distracted…and really the heart beat thing could have been either…” she tailed off, heat staining her cheeks as she pressed back into Spike’s side for comfort. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, drawing her into his arms, hiding her embarrassment from the room while simultaneously smirking at everyone, particularly Angel, over the top of her head.
“Its alright kitten. I already know, kind of, in an intuitive way.” His hand moved down to settle on her belly. “But wanna hear it from your lips pet. Tell me why and how.” Spike soothed Buffy adoringly.
She gazed back at him, unwavering in her connection as she placed her own hand over Spike’s, pressing his palm gently against her abdomen. “Its true Spike, we’re having a child. The night before the Hellmouth,” she reached up with her spare hand to stroke his cheek, “We made a baby together. And the why is easy Spike – because I love you with all my heart and soul. Although I’ve only just found out myself, part of me knew all along. I just couldn’t let go of you, couldn’t give up on you. Maybe somehow the baby kept us connected cos I dreamt of you every night.” She graced him with a gentle smile and leaned in so he could place a tender kiss upon her forehead. “As for the how, best we can figure it was the amulet and maybe Sagaria too.” She shrugged casually, quite unconcerned with the mechanics now she had her man back.
“So the heat wave jump started my little swimmers did it?” Spike smirked delightedly while from the other side of the room he heard Xander groan, “Oh no, not this again!” Suddenly the reality of the situation hit him and his wide-eyed gaze drifted down to where his large hand still lay protectively splayed across Buffy’s womb. Blocking out the room’s other occupants, he focused on Buffy and the life they’d created within her. Delightedly he looked up, his glance locking with hers as he broke out into a silly grin. “I can hear her… his… the baby’s heartbeat,” he said reverently.
Buffy and Spike sat there beaming at one another, wrapped in a warm cocoon of bliss, amazed at their own cleverness and good fortune in creating a child. Everyone else sat quietly exclaiming over Spike’s revelations. Meanwhile, Giles politely gave the happy couple a little time to themselves to share the excitement of their news, although he still thought it irresponsible of Buffy not to have told Spike earlier.
But, as if to make up for her oversight, it was the Slayer herself who resumed the show and tell session with a fascinating little piece of information. She had a quick whispered conversation with Spike then cleared her throat to gain everyone’s attention. “Actually we think the amulet did something a little more far reaching than just a temporary jump start.” She paused while everyone looked at her expectantly. Faith nodded smugly, privy to at least part of this next little bombshell. Buffy chewed her lip and shrugged, “Spike’s kind of body temperature now, as in live body temperature, not dead. Um inside and out.” She looked at her lover questioningly and he nodded in affirmation.
The shocked silence was broken by an excited explosion of exclamations and questions as everyone tried to work out Spike’s status. Unobserved by most, Angel’s previously sour expression transformed into one of absolute dismay as he stuttered, “The, the Shanshu. He’s, he’s…” before stumbling to a despairing halt.
Wes however, who’d caught the vampire’s shocked reaction and could decipher at least one of the words he was muttering, threw Spike a quick question. “So you’re human then, alive?”
“Nah wouldn’t go that far mate. Can still fang up fine, just a bit warmer now s’all. Well that and the heartbeat.”
The room erupted once again, everyone clamoring for details until Giles cleared his throat loudly. “Perhaps Spike it would be best if you could specify all of your current ah, features and abilities. Then we should share the Song of Sagaria and the Pergamum’s Days of the Chosen Ones prophecies with you, which if I’m not mistaken Buffy has also failed to mention as yet.”
“Will do my best, but guess I don’t rightly know myself what I can do yet.” Spike replied honestly. “Still a vampire, in as much I still need blood to nourish me, although that pizza before tasted better than I remember and went down a treat. Demon’s still inside me too, but seems quieter, almost content, as if it got all cleansed as well. Best I can figure, it’s as if my demon’s residing in a live body now instead of a dead one, like the Fire was a super defibrillator and the formally deceased William Pratt is now back among the living. And the soul’s in the driver’s seat for sure, only much more confidently so. Feel strong, powerful, not just physically although that for certain, can’t wait for a rumble to try out my skills, but also spiritually. Like connected or centered or something. Hard to explain, but just an absolute sense of being, of oneness.” He rubbed his hand over the nape of his neck self-consciously before Buffy squeezed his hand in support.
“Maybe it sounds like a bunch of mystical shit, but I feel enlightened, saturated with wisdom and truth. Don’t mean I’m a saint or that I won’t stuff up now and again, but I can see things now or sense them or just know them. I’ve come back for a reason too, a purpose, this Sagaria stuff no doubt, but also for Buffy and our child.” He gazed at her dotingly, pulling her hand to his chest. “My heart beats anew my love, it beats with love for you. Hah,” he laughed, “Well there you go, filled with endless, ageless wisdom I may be, but still bloody shite as a poet. Still, the sentiment is sincere luv, even if the delivery is a little weak.” He kissed the tip of her nose before turning back to his audience.
“So my heart is ticking away alright, a mite slower than the average person’s but probably no slower than the average 130 year old. Don’t need to breathe but, though I don’t think that’ll stop me – never have managed to break that old habit. Warmer than I used to be, maybe not quite normal human temp, don’t know? Might well have a bunch of other advantages as well – feels like it. Fire for instance, somehow don’t think that’ll pose the normal problems it does for vampires after what I’ve been through, but who knows. S’pose I’ll have to sort things out as they come up.”
Both Giles and Wes had been riveted by Spike’s disclosures, and Willow and Rowan seemed pretty rapt as well. Buffy could see he was in for a big Q and A session. She was quite happy where she was, but she could see Xander and Angel getting pretty irritated with all the Spike attention and the two other slayers were getting antsy. Outside it was still light, but the approaching dusk was slowly leaching the summer sky of its brilliance and down on the street, the shadows of the tower blocks crowded out the sun’s radiance.
Suddenly Buffy’s tummy rumbled and it echoed hollowly across the room, signaling an obligatory food run, and a perfectly excusable escape clause for the restless natives. In honour of Spike’s return, Buffy opted for spicy food, ordering tacos and fajitas. Everyone else followed suit, and shortly Xander, Oz and Angel headed out for food, while Faith and Kennedy dashed downstairs for a quick workout.
This gave the remaining groupies a chance to quiz Spike further. Wes and Giles were debating some possible mystical role that they thought Spike might or might not have fulfilled and most of the questions they framed were designed to prove or disprove such a theory, depending on who was asking. Willow was more interested in the spiritual and emotional insights he’d gained.
Rowan had sat quietly in the background until Buffy called her over. She was eager to meet Spike in person, but a little overawed to be finally face to face with her childhood romantic hero. She smiled shyly when Buffy introduced her, then stood by self-consciously as the older girl detailed Rowan’s abilities and her role in locating and rescuing Spike.
The vampire’s blue eyes twinkled in genuine appreciation as he took both of the young witch’s hands in his. “Well luv, it’s a pleasure to meet you. S’not often one gets to meet a real live angel, leastways one that doesn’t wander around in a broody snit all day.” He winked at Rowan disarmingly. “Hope I can live up to all those dreams you had of me. Doesn’t seem right, a young, innocent girl like you dreaming about a right sexy bloke such as myself. Hope I behaved myself in these dreams of yours.”
Rowan blushed furiously at Spike’s flirtatious banter, while Buffy slapped him on the arm and told him to behave himself. Giles soon called their little group to order again and with still about 20 minutes before the others were due back with the dinner he began to lay out the details and implications of the two prophecies.
Surprisingly, Spike became totally focused on Giles’ discoveries, frequently offering his own theories and possibilities in a serious, measured manner. The rich, deep timbre of his voice rumbled through his chest as Buffy lay snuggled in under his arm, in a light half-sleep. With such a serious theme bringing out the scholar in Spike, the room was awash with cultured English accents. Apart from his proximity, it was hard, in her half conscious state, to tell the three Englishmen’s voices apart. Adding Rowan to the tally, she and Willow were seriously outnumbered she realized sleepily.
Buffy could sense how chuffed he was that he was an integral part of such a crucial prophecy, and that his foreseen role was right by her side, along with that of their child. It seemed to give him more confidence in himself, and even though he knew she loved him, maybe he felt that the Song of Sagaria validated their relationship in the eyes of people like Giles and Willow. She tried to follow their conversation, knowing how important it was, but wrapped up in Spike’s arms she felt so warm and tranquil and safe, that she relaxed to the slow, steady thump, thump of Spike’s new heartbeat and the deep drone of the men’s voices and drifted off.
The dull thud of the door shutting and the sudden flurry of noisy feet and excited voices, the smell of spicy beef and salty French fries and the tender caress of Spike’s lips against her forehead gently roused Buffy from her little nap. She buried her face deeper into his chest, snuggling there for a few more seconds, just listening to the bustle, relaxed chatter and humorous anecdotes of her friends. She felt Spike tense up as footsteps approached and something, a mug she guessed, was placed on the side table.
“Thought you might be hungry. Or thirsty.” Xander offered guardedly.
Buffy could feel Spike’s chest muscles bunch up as he tilted his head to the side, and could just imagine his eyebrow lifting up in deliberation. She held her breath, waiting to see his reaction to Xander’s tentative overture.
He paused and then let out a little breath. “Yeah, thanks mate,” he responded judiciously. “Am a bit peckish.”
“Well,” Xander paused awkwardly, “Rowan’s plating up some fajitas and tacos for Buffy. Could get you the same if you like Mexican?”
“Sounds good. Ta.” Buffy grinned at such a circumspect conversation between the two former adversaries. Neither was exactly renowned for thinking before they opened their mouths, so she really appreciated the effort they were both putting in to avoid pissing the other off. As Xander wandered back to the kitchen, she gave Spike a little squeeze and lifted her face up for a kiss.
“Heard that did you?” he asked gruffly. “Little eavesdropper!” His gentle kisses belied his terse words.
“Couldn’t help it,” she grinned unabashedly, “With the sound of you two serenading one another to the accompaniment of a stringed orchestra, there’s no way a girl can sleep.” She giggled delightedly at his gobsmacked expression, deciding to press just a little further. “Besides I was worried I’d have to jump out of the way. Sounded like the two of you were about to throw yourselves into one another’s arms.”
With that Spike looked fit to burst, and Buffy squealed and leapt into the air, dashing over to Willow, who was carrying a heavily laden plate of food, and sheltering behind her. Spike sauntered over menacingly, growling at her fiercely. Poor Willow was trapped between the cat and the mouse, plate held high. It didn’t take Spike long to catch Buffy and subject her to an intense round of tickling.
Finally, after several snarky comments from Xander, some extended broody glaring from Angel and some suggestions to ‘get a room’ from Faith the couple ate their dinner, chatted with their mates and finally escaped for the evening. Rowan came with them. After offering to move in with the other girls she was keen to get her stuff then rather than risk ‘interrupting’ anything later.
As soon as Rowan had gone Spike took both of Buffy’s hands in his and tugged her gently towards them. They stood perfectly still, staring deeply into one another’s souls, letting their eyes communicate their boundless love for one another. Buffy had never felt this way before. To love completely and be utterly loved in return, without fear, without guilt, was beyond her experience or understanding. But it felt so amazingly right that she couldn’t imagine anything better than this feeling and this moment.
As for Spike, he had never really been loved by anyone, not in a romantic sense. Dru had tried her best, in her own way, but her heart and her head had both been too fractured, too scattered to give him even a fraction of what he craved. But the emotions emanating from Buffy were so powerful, so incredible, that for a moment he felt overwhelmed and his confidence faltered. A little part of his old self-doubt filtered through and he shook his head in disbelief that she could love him so deeply; sure for a second that this must be some sort of cruel trick.
But just as quickly he banished those thoughts, and taking a deep, steadying breath he stepped closer, suddenly absolutely sure of what he needed, what he wanted to do. He looked down into her shimmering green eyes and what he saw there filled him with a calm confidence.
“Buffy, I love you more than life. You are my heart’s desire, my soul mate, my best friend. We have been through so much together, good and bad, and all I know is that we belong together. Everything in my life, everything that I am exists because of my love for you. Now we are going to be a family, something much bigger than just the two of us, charged with a life for which we are responsible and have been blessed with. And I want to be by your side, every second of every day for the rest of our days. You’re still the one Buffy. Will you be my one?”
Buffy was shaking. Glistening pools of emotion filled her eyes and overflowed, leaving silvery trails across her cheeks. She gripped Spike’s hands tightly, her heart hammering out a chorus of hopeful anticipation as she gazed up at him solemnly. There was no doubting his sincerity as he caressed her face with his beautiful, azure eyes, but had she got his message right?
“When you burned up, I waited for you to come back to me,” she began softly. “I couldn’t believe you were really gone and despite everything I felt certain I’d see you again soon. But then days turned into weeks and I slowly started to lose hope. I began to think that that was it for us, that I’d never even get the chance to see you again. I missed you so badly, I felt numb most of the time, like I was only half alive.” She panted lightly, as her eyes reflected the pain of those memories. “And now you’re back and you’re asking me to …” Her courage failed her and her words dried up.
“Yes Buffy,” Spike, by contrast, was utterly composed and self-possessed, “I’m asking you to live with me, love with me, raise our child with me, stand by my side forever. I’m asking you to be my wife. Just say yes, and make me the happiest man on earth.”