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Spike lay on the bed with his head propped up in his hand, staring at the warm beauty who was curled up, using his chest as a pillow and still sleeping. He hadn't been able to sleep yet tonight after coming down from his amazing orgasm induced high earlier. He hadn't been able to take his eyes off of his new mate since she had drifted off to sleep on his chest six hours before. The bruises he had left on her had healed rapidly, leaving him in awe at actually being able to see the colors shifting and disappearing as the blood was absorbed back into her body.

At one point she had become restless in the throes of a dream, she had called out his name a few times while in the midst of a dream, twice with lust in her voice and once with fear, but he had no idea what she had been dreaming about. When he had tried to peek into her thoughts to see her dreams he had only 'seen' blindingly bright light that he was unable to penetrate while only sensing her emotions. Her thoughts had been blocked by the light.

Strangely enough, a little later he had no problems at all watching her dream about being at an amusement park with the Scoobies and her watcher. There was a gigantic white bunny chasing them among the amusement rides. For some reason the demon girl-former demon now-was dressed like a gigantic carrot. Spike had trouble for a few moments controlling his laughter enough to let her sleep uninterrupted when dream Buffy climbed to the top of the stalled ferris wheel in an attempt to attack the bunny from above and fell down the rabbits ear. He lost control of his laughter and nearly did wake her when she climbed out, gripping handfuls of the silky white fur and covered in ear wax. The expression on dream Buffy's face was classic Buffy. The same expression of disbelief and disgust she used to give him when he would make any sexual comments during their fights.

As if he couldn't smell how she really felt.

He had been laying there for hours now just watching her and feeling things that he didn't want to dwell on or even understand when she finally began to stir.

He probed the bond while she became aware of her surroundings, following her emotions and thoughts from muddled to clear, curious about her reaction now that it was the 'morning after'. Would she remember and be alright with everything that had happened the night before? Would she suddenly come to her senses and be horrified at the things that she had done? Or the reaction he expected and feared the most, would she be angry and hateful? Blame him for ruining her life?

Buffy slowly came to her senses with her mind flipping channels between what she was sure was a prophetic Slayer dream she had had last night and the dream that she fervently hoped wasn't prophetic. Her first clear thought was that if she saw Anya dressed like a giant carrot-ever-she would turn right around and go back to bed immediately, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars. As soon as she thought this her attention was jerked to the low rumbling laughter of her cool man shaped pillow and she was slammed with a tsunami of images from the night before.

She briefly felt shocked and disgusted with herself for the alley scene with Spike, her new mate, but that was quickly followed by amusement and satisfaction at Angel's humiliation, joy at Gile's acceptance of her new circumstance and finally, a strong wave of lust when she remembered the rest of the night alone with Spike in the motel room.

The motel room she was still in.

Shit!

Panic set in and she jumped out of bed and ran for the phone, noticing the mixed expression of resignation, anger and sadness on Spike's face, but too freaked out about her Mom's reaction to her not having come home all night to deal with him right away. She quickly dialed her home number, not surprised at all when her Mom answered before the first ring was even finished.

"Buffy? Is that you? Are you okay?" her Mom demanded immediately. So much for the time honored tradition of answering with a hello.

Shit, shit, shit!

Her Mom was gonna kill her for making her worry like this, and yet she couldn't stop thinking about the things that Spike had done to her last night.

"I'm fine Mom, I'll be home in a little while and I'll explain everything. I'm sorry I didn't call before this but everything is fine. I'm not hurt," just a little sore, but it was a good kind of sore and she wasn't complaining. "There's not an apocalypse and I'll be home in..." it would take ten minutes to get dressed and out the door, fifteen minutes to walk home... "Two hours. I'll explain everything then, okay? Just don't worry about me, nothing's wrong, it's just... well there are some new developments with the whole Slayer improvement package thing, and I'll tell you all about it when I get home. Okay?" Now she just had to hang tight for some more Mother-of-the-Slayer freak out. She'd gotten used to calming her mother down ever since her mom had found out that her daughter's life was in constant danger and she couldn't do anything about it. There was no way for her to protect her baby girl from saving the world.

"Buffy Ann Summers! Don't you ever do that to me again! Why are you calling me from the Sunnydale Inn, and where is your cell phone?! I bought that for you so you could let me know if you got held up on patrol, I have been sitting up all night long worried to death about you and terrified that Rupert was going to call and tell me that a new Slayer had been called! I know that you have the weight of the world literally sitting on your shoulders, but would it have killed you to take two minutes and let an old woman relax?!"

That was a joke. Ever since her mom had found out about her being the Slayer she hadn't been unable to relax unless Buffy was home, safe and sound.

"No Mom. I'm really sorry I didn't call, I left my phone at home because I forgot to charge it, but you can quit worrying now. I'm alive, unharmed," She was mostly unharmed anyway. There was nothing wrong with her that she wouldn't like to be wrong again. Preferably soon. "I will be home in two or three hours with a full explanation. I even have documentation. It's nothing bad or apocalypse-y, it's just...different...and really unexpected, but everything is fine and I'll see you in a while, okay? I love you Mom. Bye now." Buffy hung up without giving her mom a chance for anymore recriminations and turned to Spike, wondering what the best way to jump his bones would be.

The look that was still on his face however made her realize that the jumping of sexy vampire bones would have to wait.

She should have told her mom she'd be home in four or five hours.

She just stood there by the phone with her hands hanging uselessly down at her side and looked at him, letting what he was thinking and feeling wash over her and amaze her.

He was afraid.

The cocky, belligerent and fearless enemy that had caused her many sleepless nights over the years for many different, sometimes terrifying, sometimes embarrassing, and always infuriating reasons was afraid.

Not of her, but of her reaction to everything that had happened the night before and all the changes that had been made in her life. He seemed certain that she would now try to beat him up and blame him for something that she herself had initiated. Stupid vampire, it was almost like he didn't have a direct connection to Buffydom and all the crazy thoughts flying through there.

She smiled softly at him and walked slowly towards where he was now sitting on the edge of the bed watching her as intently as she had ever watched an attacker, ready to defend himself.

"Do me a favor Spike?" she asked him softly. He cocked an eyebrow and waited. "Since you so...vehemently insisted that I let you into my head last night, will you please do me the favor of taking a peek in there again this morning and then telling me why you look like I kicked your puppy?" she asked him as she finally stood in front of him and rested her hands on his broad shoulders.

Spike looked at her, confused for a moment, before granting her request and opening the link he had shut off when she jumped out of the bed in a panic. What he found there now amazed him for a brief moment. The main thought on her mind was getting him back into bed and shaggin' his brains out again before she had to go and face her duties as a daughter and a Slayer again. Behind that was the same fear that he had. Fear of rejection, of him becoming cruel and sadistic as her first, and until last night, only lover had done.

Without any conscious thought from him his hands reached out and wrapped around her waist and he buried his face in the soft skin of her bare stomach, tightening his grip on her and pulling her close between his legs. In that moment he wanted no more than to just feel her in his arms. She was holding just as tightly onto him as he was holding onto her. The dirty lascivious plans that he didn't object to in anyway would have to wait for a few moments. Right now they just had to revel in this pure moment of relief and not quite love or affection, but something. Something new that they had no doubt would continue changing everything for the both of them.

They just hoped they would be able to survive the changes.





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