Spike kicked down the door to the mansion and ran over the threshold without giving a second thought to the vow he had made the year before, in what now seemed like someone else's life, to never darken that particular door again. He had his Slayer cradled gently in his arms exerting great effort to not jostle her in any way. His gentle handling of her was in great contrast to the fierce look on his face.
To an outside observer, he appeared ready to kill someone in the most painful way he could. Most likely the deviant who had hurt the petite woman he was fretting over as he gently laid her on a soft mattress before running from the room at inhuman speed and dashing into the kitchen.
The outside observer wouldn't know that the fierce look of hate on his face was directed inwardly. After all, he was the deviant who had hurt her so terribly. He was beyond pissed at himself for losing control the way he had. He and the demon that granted him such an unnaturally extended life had always gotten on well together. He had become a Master vampire at such an early age because he had an accord with the demon inside. The poncey poet that he was in his 'real' life had wanted the strength, power, and most importantly, the confidence provided by the demon, and the demon wanted a host with enough intelligence to not only survive, but to thrive. In return, William reluctantly accepted the demon's need for blood and violence, and the demon reluctantly accepted William's need for love and affection.
Despite the internal conflict he felt over moving on from his beloved Dru, both demon and man knew they had hit the jackpot with Buffy. She was perhaps the one being that could fulfill all of the needs of both of them. She was the one creature in the world who could satisfy the collaborative union of the demon and William, the collaboration that had adopted the name Spike.
She was, for Spike, the ultimate pinnacle of everything that every side of him had ever yearned for and he had hurt her badly. May have killed her even, all because the demon lost control, and even worse, William had lost control of his demon.
He finally found what he was searching so desperately for. The emergency room quality first aid kit that Angelus had always kept well stocked in order to keep his victims alive longer. He grabbed it out of the cupboard it had been hiding in and ran upstairs to do what he could for his mate. It didn't take long for him to apply the pressure bandages to her neck and then he began to pace back and forth in the large bedroom, yelling at himself for his foolishness.
"Fuckin' genius you are, finally get everything you ever dreamed of wrapped in a beautiful package, and leave it to the Big Bad to fuck it all up!" He paused in his ramblings and went back to the bed to check on Buffy, hoping for some sign of improvement.
Nothing. She was still too pale under her tan, breathing shallowly and her heartbeat was still too slow, so he resumed his useless pacing and ranting. "God only knows what would show up on the machines at the hospital so ya can't take the risk of puttin her in the hands of doctors, so what do you do ya stupid git? You rip her damn throat out and damn near drain her when she can't even go and get a damn transfusion…" The light bulb flared and he stopped in his tracks lifting his head up in sudden comprehension.
Of course! Her demon was the same as his wasn't it. Meaning she didn't need IV's and machines and bags of blood for a transfusion, she just needed a fresh supply! He briefly considered going out and finding her a happy meal on legs but the idea wasn't even fully formed before he dismissed it as impossible. There's no way in hell she would ever forgive him if he fed her one of the innocents that she was called upon to protect.
Gods blood, he really was a stupid git! She'd already shown her preferences in that area, hadn't she? Before he even thought about it he was at her side in game face and ripping into his right wrist with the same violence he had used on her creamy throat earlier before he placed the gaping wound he'd inflicted on himself over her parted lips and allowed his thickened dead blood to slowly drip into her mouth.
Putting on his game face effectively put the demon in control, but William had a firm grip on the demon this time, threatening to walk out into the sun if he ever did something so foolish again. The threats were pointless and needless though. The demon was looking down at his bandaged and bloody mate with remorse pouring out of his golden eyes. He had done this to her. He had hurt his own mate and put her on death's door, it was his job, his duty, to fix this. He began to croon softly to her as he brushed her hair away from her face. It was a soft animalistic sound, somewhere between a whine and a purr. She finally began to respond. Her fangs popped out with a light clicking sound and her mouth latched onto his wounded wrist with enough force that his crooning ceased and was replaced with a pained hiss.
With the absence of his soothing crooning, her own demon began to feel agitated. Buffy was still unconscious but her demon was suddenly aware and confused and angry.
Beyond angry, she was in a rage. She plunged her fangs deeper into Spike's tendons and ground them down relishing the cry of pain he let out. As musical as his pain was to her ears it wasn't enough. Not for what he had done. She ripped her fangs out roughly, making sure to take a chunk with her. After looking up and spitting the chunk into his face, she sat up and buried her fangs in his neck with a loud growl, she shook her head back and forth as he had done to her in the empty lot and then began to gulp down the thick cool liquid as she sat up and pushed him down underneath her.
He had seriously injured her, almost killed her in an attempt to show his dominance over her. That alone was enough to piss her off, but when it was coupled with the way he had dominated, demanded and received her submission the night before, the fact that he would attack her, injure her, and nearly kill her for the submission he already knew he could easily gain was enough to make her lethal.
It was time for him to die now. She wouldn't let him fight her off or stop her in any way. The fact that he was her mate wasn't going to be enough to stop her this time. The fact that his demon had been tending to her and crooning apologies wasn't going to save him. Neither was the fact that he wasn't fighting her at all.
DAMN IT!
She snarled in frustration and pulled her fangs out of his neck, pushing herself up so she could look down at him. His eyes were closed and he had a look of peaceful acceptance on his paler than usual face. "Look at me!" she growled angrily.
His opened his eyes and the remorse he felt was clearly displayed in his still golden eyes.
Damn it!
He reached one hand up to touch her now flushed cheek, relief shining clearly on his all too expressive face, but she jerked away so roughly that she nearly threw herself off of the bed. "You don't get to touch me anymore!" she hissed at him. "You nearly killed me just because I said you had to wait for sex! What the hell, Spike?" Her voice was getting louder with every word and the look of betrayal in her eyes broke his unbeating heart.
"Buffy, Love…" whatever he was going to say was cut off by the resounding slap she landed on his cheek.
"You don't get to call me that anymore!" she screamed at him. Then she looked down at the palm of the hand she'd slapped him with. The angry betrayed look left her face and was replaced with horror. There was a fine coating of dust on her hand that hadn't been there before she slapped him. She looked up at his face and gasped. Her handprint was clearly outlined on his prominent cheekbone.
It was outlined in dust and she could see teeth and muscles inside the perfectly delineated hand print.
Under her horrified gaze, more of his skin began to slowly flake away. Oh God! He may have nearly killed her, but she had without a doubt killed him in return. So yeah, that's what she had wanted when she was angry, but now that it was happening she began to scream and cry in denial. She leaned down and pressed the uninjured, unbandaged side of her neck against his lips. "Drink!" she ordered. He merely turned his head away and pressed his lips together. She grabbed his chin, intending to place his mouth back on her neck, but she could feel his skin dusting and flaking away under her fingers and she pulled away, afraid of causing him more damage.
"Get out." he said in a low voice. He refused to say anymore but she searched through their link and could see that he intended to let himself die. Stupid retard thought she could find herself a better mate if he died, one that could do right by her.
"If you die, I die remember!" she yelled down at him, trying desperately to make him see sense.
"Claim's new kitten. Might hurt a bit, but you're just stubborn enough to make it through that part and move on." he whispered hoarsely determined to follow through. After what he had done he had no doubt that she could find someone better for her. Someone who wouldn't nearly kill her just because their demon wanted to play. "Now leave. This may take a while and you should be someplace safe when the pain hits you."
"Just what am I supposed to do if you die?" she asked, tears running down her face. "I will not make it through the pain and I will not move on! If you're so determined to die here at my hands, then I will die with you. I don't want to be immortal if I have to do it alone." Please please please let him see sense.
"Nah. 'S not like you to give up Slayer. You're the strongest woman, the strongest Slayer, I have ever had the honor of knowing. You might grieve, but you will survive. You will find somebody else and move on."
At his assertion her demon stepped into control and growled at him.
"I have been jumping from one body to another for thousands of years looking for someone I could love fully, someone who could love me back. In all those centuries I have only found love for and from my own kind three times. The first one that I loved was dusted a long time ago. The second one that I loved could never love me in the way I need to be loved. The third one is you and I will not let you die, no matter how selfish and overdramatic you want to be. So help me Spike, if you don't drink from me, I swear on everything that I have ever held dear that I will go to Angel. I will do what it takes to shove his soul out and I will spend the next thousand years with 'Angelus' just because I know you will be able to see us from hell!"
There it was! He growled and reached out, grabbed her by the hair that was hanging over her shoulder and yanked her down to him, placing his mouth at the almost entirely healed wound on her throat. Having achieved the goal, Buffy's demon receded as soon as she saw that he would feed and live. Or unlive. Whatever.
Despite the rage that had shown in his eyes at her threat he was gentle as he carefully probed the small mark left on her throat with his tongue. Receiving only a drop or two and knowing that it would not be enough he slid his fangs into her supple flesh as gently as he could and took small, slow sips of her blood. Buffy couldn't help but compare the contrast of his gentle suction with the unforgiving grip he had on her hair and the ferocious growls rumbling out of his chest and she was confused by it. He was in game face, so his demon was in control just like it had been earlier but he was being so gentle and almost loving. Well, as long as she ignored the fact that her scalp was stinging where he was busily wrapping her hair tighter around his fist.
As horrified as she was at the way he was turning to dust under her touch, and as much as she wanted him to stay…not really alive but here with her, she had still been afraid of allowing him to feed from her again. Her fear was quickly eased with the tenderness of his lips and fangs though and her horror was fading as she could see out of the corner of her eye that his cheek was healing even as he fed from her. It was almost fascinating to her to watch his skin growing to cover her handprint and hide the muscles and bone that had been exposed when she smacked him.
She wanted to protest when he pulled his fangs out and licked her neck to close the small punctures. Her handprint still showed clearly, the new skin was not finished growing yet and was a startling bright pink against his pale face. The sight made her feel guilty, not for smacking him because he so totally deserved that, but for draining him to the point where a well earned smack could cause his beautiful face to crumble into dust. He may have nearly drained her, but she had no doubt that he had come closer to death tonight than she had, and the only result that would please her right now was him being as nearly completely healed as she was.
"That's not enough, you need more." she stated calmly as she pressed her neck to his mouth.
"If I take any more from you it will just be a repeat of what we've already been through. I will not leave you weakened to heal me from my own mistake."
"But Spike," she began to protest. She was still pissed at him and she needed him back to complete health so she could take her anger out on him. If she had been thinking clearly when she came to with his blood pouring down her throat she would not have done what she did. Two wrongs don't make a right and all that crap.
"No Buffy. I don't even deserve what you've already given me after what I've done to you." he insisted firmly.
"Oh drop the broodiness Spike. I sent Angel away for a reason you know." she mumbled as she pushed herself off of the bed and walked towards the bathroom to clean herself up a little. She had preperations to make since Spike had made it clear that he was too busy playing the self flagellation game to worry about the fact that she needed him healthy…or…whatever you call a member of the undead in fit condition, and she had better things to do. Like not laugh at the loud snarl coming from behind her.
"I swear to everything I ever held dear that if you ever compare me to bloody Peaches again, or even so much as mention his name one more time tonight I will rip your fuckin' tongue out. Am I clear Blondie?" he shouted at her when she closed the door behind her after entering the bathroom without responding to his angry snarls.
"If you don't want the comparison then maybe you should stop acting the part.' she thought at him.
"Goddamn it Slayer! If you're feeling well enough to talk shit to me then why don't you come out here and do it to my face!" he shouted through the door. Stupid little bint couldn't respect the fact that he felt regret for what he had done to her and just let things be. Nooo… she had to poke the bear and compare him to the big broody Forehead. Even worse! He was pretty sure that she'd said something about spending eternity with his dear ol' granddad just as everything started to get dark. The soulless evil prick version no less! As soon as he got his strength back he'd…he'd….well he'd damn well do something that she wouldn't like even if he didn't think he could bring himself to hurt her again after tonight.
She couldn't even be bothered to acknowledge the fact that he, an evil soulless vampire felt regret for his actions, something that was unheard of!
Buffy heard all of his silent ranting but she was too busy trying to clean dried blood off of her self with out any water to do more than smile a little. She needed to look somewhat respectable for what she was about to do. Maybe they were right when they said that two wrongs don't make a right, after all she felt really bad for doing to Spike what he had done to her, but that didn't stop her from wanting to go out and see if three wrongs could make a right…
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Wow! Update this soon! I hate to say it but don't get too excited, I'm trying to catch this site up with everything I have on this story while I still can. Money is becoming a major issue in our house and I may not have my internet access for much longer, but like I've said a million times already, no matter how long it takes, this story WILL be finished, unless I die or something, but even then I have plans to put in motion someone else to finish it for me...