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Author's Chapter Notes:
Thank you all for your patience with this story, I am trying to start back up on it. Enjoy.
Spike watched Buffy shiver. He knew she needed release, and most of all, the freedom to be able to achieve that release.

"What do you think about, Slayer, when you're all alone in your bed at night?" he asked in a curious tone.

Buffy was surprised by the question, yet her face remained blank.

"Well, mostly how much easier my life will be once you're dust." She replied snidely.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. Think about me at night, do you?" Spike teased.

"Look, what do you want from me? Just let me go!" Buffy yelled.

"Let you go? Slayer, we both know you could have broken out of those bonds centuries ago if you had really wanted to. The question is, why are you here?" he asked as he leaned both hands on her chair, his face inches from hers.

"Because you brought me here, you freak!" Buffy responded, outraged.

"Slayer! Why are you here?" Spike asked once again, making Buffy's lower lip tremble.

"I don't know, okay? Because I'm tired of my friends not understanding what it's like for me, because I'm tired of men always leaving me and not giving a shit about me, and because I'm tired of pretending like I don't want you as much as I do!" Buffy's eyes went wide as she realized what she had just said. She hadn't meant for all of those things to come out, but she had been unable to stop herself from venting. Now, as she looked at the vampire before her, she waited for him to start laughing at her stupidity… yet when he actually did, she reeled, as if she had hoped in the bottom of her heart that he would be kind, and spare her the embarrassment.

"Oh, this is rich! So the Slayer's got her knickers in a twist over me, eh? Pathetic!" Spike mocked her.

Buffy reeled back at his harsh words. Why was he saying this to her? For a moment he had seemed like he actually cared, and now... well, now he was being downright cruel.

"Is that what you brought me here for? To mock me?" Buffy asked in a hurt tone.

"No, Slayer, I brought you here, to give you what you crave… this."

He thought she craved being treated like crap and humiliated? What the hell was wrong with him?

"Look, Spike, I do not crave being mistreated, especially by the likes of you, so untie me now."

"Oh, but that's where you're wrong, luv. All you've ever craved is this. You need to be treated like this, so you won't feel so horrible about knowing that you're better. Fucked up world, isn't it? You get to have friends, yet they will never be good enough."

"That's not true!" Buffy screamed.

"But it is, pet. They'll never know what it's like. Surely you've realized that, and because they will never know what it's like, they will never suffice. They may help, and even be useful sometimes, but never good enough. That's why you need this. You need to be walked on, and abused so you won't feel the burden of knowing that in the end, they are inconsequential. In the end, Slayer, you'd be better off without them."

Buffy's eyes were watering as she heard the words coming out of Spike's mouth. She started sobbing from shame. It was true… it was all true. She knew these things, and hated herself for thinking them. She felt like a horrible person, because she had always known that she was better… and she despised herself for it. Her friends loved her, and she should have been grateful for their help, yet all she felt was superiority, and so she needed to feel punished, and unimportant, because she deserved it.

"Please… stop." She begged as the tears started flowing freely.

Spike kneeled before her and lifted her chin with his hand.

"Just let me give you what you need, Buffy. I offer you an escape from all the guilt, a place where you don't have to feel like a dreadful person, if only for a few hours. Let me help you find that release you so desperately crave." He whispered to her, as his bright blue eyes locked with hers.

"Spike…" she gasped.

"I know you see the truth… how it could be. Let me give this to you."

"Why?"

"Because I need you as much as you need me."


Chapter End Notes:
This is my first chapter for this story in a while so please review and tell me what you thought. Should I continue it? Do you like what's going on so far? You're comments help greatly.



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