Buffy wasn’t sure if she slept that night. She wasn’t sure if the images that plagued her were dreams or imaginings.
When the sun had not long risen the phone began to ring again. Buffy made no attempt to answer it but dragged her puffy eyes under her sheets. She could hear her mom walking down the hall, heard her picking up the phone. She heard the faint murmur of her moms side of the conversation, then a pause.
Her bedroom door was eased open. Buffy stayed safely hidden by her sheets and tried to feign the deep breathing of sleep. After several moments her door closed again. She heard her mom speaking, and then the phone was put down.
Buffy breathed a little more easily. She knew Spike would keep calling until she spoke to him. For all she knew he might have been back already. But she wasn’t ready to face him, not yet. Hearing his voice, seeing his face, it would all be too hard now she suspected what he really was.
She needed someone to talk to, someone to give her parental concern as well as honesty.
She couldn’t turn to her mom, she just wouldn’t understand how important having a soul was when you were dealing with demons. When Angel had lost his soul Buffy had tried to protect her mom from the worst of his actions, and Joyce’s general opinion had been that Angel had always been an idiot anyway. In that it seemed she was right.
But right now Buffy needed her other parent. She needed Giles. He would give her the answers. He wouldn’t sugar coat the truth, and her mind was in such turmoil she knew that only the truth would stop it whirling.
She dressed without seeing what clothes she had chosen, and crept out of her room as quietly as she could.
She wasn’t quiet enough. Her mom stood at the foot of the stairs, her eyebrows raised and a smile playing around the corners of her mouth.
“Honey, it’s before seven. In the morning. And you’re up. Is everything ok?” Joyce said it jokingly, but then she saw Buffy’s pale, drawn face and red rimmed eyes and her smile dropped away.
“Buffy? Honey? Whats wrong?”
Buffy ran a shaky hand through her hair. “Nothing’s wrong mom, I’m fine.”
Joyce gave her a look that said plainly, “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
Buffy tried giving a strained smile, but it was too much effort. “Really mom, I’m fine, just had a bad dream and couldn’t get back to sleep after.”
Joyce’s brows furrowed in concern. “Was it one of your slayer dreams?”
Buffy felt herself visibly relax, “Yeah, I think so, not really sure what it meant though so I’m gonna go talk to Giles. What are you doing up so early anyway?”
Joyce waved a hand airily, “I’m expecting an overseas delivery for the gallery, and they couldn’t give me a tighter time frame then ‘from between 7 and 12’” She rolled her eyes, and Buffy tried to smile. Joyce didn’t miss the effort it took, and stretched out a hand to stroke her daughters face. “Honey, I know I can’t be of much use when it comes to vampires and things, but I am here to talk if you need me.”
Buffy gave her mom a brief hug, and pulled away before her tears came back. “I know you are mom, thank you, but everything's ok. Promise. I won’t be back before you leave for the gallery, but I’ll see you later?”
“Sure, say hello to Mr Giles for me.”
“I will.” Buffy shrugged on her jacket and tugged the door open, only to be painfully halted by her moms next words.
“Oh! Buffy, I almost forgot. Spike called a little while ago.” Buffy forced herself to turn round and put on a falsely normal expression.
“Oh yeah?”
Joyce was smiling again, under the ironic misapprehension that news of Spike would cheer Buffy up, and take her mind of whatever was worrying her. “I told him off for ringing so ridiculously early. For a young person he keeps very odd hours. He wanted to speak to you, I told him you were, like most normal people, still in bed. He actually made me go check on you, as if I wouldn’t know if you’d stayed out all night! I called him a cheeky so and so, said you were sleeping and he said he’d call back later. He also said he’d tried ringing a couple of times last night? Did you go out?”
Buffy nodded dumbly. “Uh yeah, did a patrol then went to the Bronze for a bit with Willow.”
Joyce noticed that Buffy seemed to have turned paler still. “You go and talk to Mr Giles honey, tell him about your dream, let him work out what it means and take some of the pressure off you for a change.”
Buffy was touched by her moms concern, but knew that the longer she stood there talking with her the more likely it would be that she’d burst into tears. She gave her a swift hug though, feeling so grateful that she had one part of her life which would always be steady.
Buffy, and a still drowsy, and not-very-amused-at-being-woken-by-slayer-strength-knocking, Giles were sat in the living room of his flat drinking tea. At least Giles was drinking tea, Buffy had been staring into hers for some time while Giles waited for her to explain why she had come. It took his coughing several polite but pointed times before she had focused her mind enough to know what to say. She had ruled out telling Giles out right about Spikes lack of soul. To Giles Spike was a hero, a fantastic mythical figure from Watcher legend. He would either be crushed by the news, refuse to believe it or go all stakey on him. Buffy decided to get a few impartial answers first, before Giles became emotionally involved.
“Giles, what happens when a person becomes a vampire?”
Giles eyebrows shot way, way up. This was the last thing he’d expected to hear. “Buffy, if you don’t know the answer to that by now I’ve been doing a very poor job as your watcher.”
Buffy managed a tired smile. “I know the process, obviously. I do listen to you some of the time you know.”
Giles snorted, and Buffy pointedly ignored him. “What I meant was, when a person gets bitten what happens to their soul? How come vampires are soulless?”
Giles frowned. He wasn’t sure where this turn in the conversation was coming from. His only explanation was that Buffy was thinking of Angel, but when he thought of her reaction to that name in recent weeks he was fairly sure that, for Buffy at least, that particular ship had sailed. She looked so sober though, so unusually grave that Giles thought it best not to probe into her reasoning, but merely answer her question.
He removed his glasses for their minutely polish and pondered on how to explain, “Well, the council can’t be ah absolutely certain of course, theology is a very elusive concept after all – “
Buffy interrupted with a raised hand, “Um Giles, Buffy here, not so good with the language having, small words please?”
Giles suppressed his sigh at what he considered her continued butchery of his beloved mother tongue and carried on, “but what they have deduced, I mean ‘concluded’, is that when a human is bitten, and blood is exchanged, a primal, eh excuse me, I mean ‘ancient’, demon emerges within them. This demon battles with the soul, darkness fighting light if you will. The demon is always stronger, possibly something to do with human weakness, but more likely to do with the extreme strength of evil within the demon. The soul is banished from the human, leaving behind a husky shell for the demon to wear.”
Buffy felt her heart constrict a little in her chest. This was the explanation she had come up with herself by piecing together the little bits of Giles’ teaching which had stuck. The way he’d phrased it though, his mentioning of the ‘extreme strength of evil within the demon’, had her resolve not to cry in front of her watcher wavering. Was Spike, after everything, just another evil demon?
Her next question came without pause, “And not having a soul, what does that mean, really?”
Giles rubbed his brow. “Again, that’s a difficult question to answer. In the case of vampires it means that they have no conscience, they cannot distinguish between right and wrong. And, of course, they cannot love. They do not care for anything beyond their own existence, and making that existence last as long as possible.”
Buffy nodded vaguely, but was immediately lost in thought. It seemed that Spike had a conscience most the time, though he did occasionally do or say things which could argue otherwise. But it was the thought of his loving, or not loving, which had Buffy really worrying. Had Spikes feelings for the woman who Angelus had so cruelly destroyed been love? Or merely obsession? Had he genuinely cared for her? Or had he viewed her only as a possession?
It was impossible for Buffy to know for sure, she hadn’t been there and Spike had not spoken to her about it apart from in the briefest manner.
If he couldn’t love, if he was incapable of it, then how did he see her? It was true that they had never said the words, neither of them had been very open about how they felt for the other, but Spike looked at her sometimes, and his eyes were so open, so full of... what? What was the name of the emotion she could see swirling in the mesmerising blue? Love? Lust? Selfish desire?
The path they had been headed on had seemed so clear only a day before, now it was so messed up. Buffy knew she needed to see him, speak to him, to find out for certain, one way or another. But the thought that he didn’t have a soul, and what that would mean, scared her witless. It would be worse than losing him to hell.
Buffy remembered belatedly what she had thought of last night, her beyond creepy meeting with Tarot, the messenger of the Powers that Be. He’d said that every time Spike had done a reading he had pulled the death card. Back then she hadn’t really considered the implications of that. She wasn’t well versed in what the different cards meant, but she felt it was safe to assume that death was never of the good. What if it had meant actual deaths, deaths which Spike would cause? Though her chest panged painfully at how quickly she was betraying her trust in her saviour, Buffy had to know. Her next question for Giles sprung from that errant thought.
“Giles, in tarot cards, what does the death card mean?”
Giles’ eyebrows shot way up again, it took him a minute to get his head round the sharp turn the conversation had taken. To him the questions seemed unrelated. He was desperate to know what they meant to Buffy, but after his little chat with Spike the other day he decided to wait, and trust in her to tell him things when she was ready. Giles had been doing a lot of thinking, and Spike had been right. Buffy wasn’t a little girl. She wasn’t a tool, to be wielded by the council the way they wanted. She was a young woman, she was the slayer for pities sake. She had proven herself to have more physical power, and more internal strength, in her little finger then all the Council of Watchers put together. She was more than capable of making her own decisions. Giles was grateful that Spike had made him aware of the way he had been, how he had been inadvertently manipulating Buffy. Just because what he thought was right wasn’t always what she thought was right didn’t make her wrong. He had to show her that he had the faith in her she deserved.
Giles was so glad he had the chance to correct this error now, before it became an issue which could potentially drive them apart in the future. His occasionally frustrating little charge had filled the place of family in his heart. His own family had always been sadly lacking, Giles hadn’t realised how much he needed a real one until Buffy had shown him. Despite the different blood which flowed in their veins to him she was a daughter, his only daughter, and he would do what every good father must – send her out into the world on her own two feet, and trust that if she fell down she’d ask him to help her get back up.
Right now her questions might be confusing him, but for whatever reason she needed them answered. “The death card? Hum, well, I er, I’m not as familiar with the meanings of Tarot as I perhaps should be, being a self proclaimed expert on all things of the occult, but I do have a book around here somewhere... let me see...” And Giles was off on a book hunting search, which took him around the room twice.
Despite the painful turbulence flooding her head and heart, Buffy couldn’t suppress a small, affectionate smile at the sight. “Giles, you’d think that a big nerd – I mean, a really good librarian, like you, would have a decent filling system.”
Giles rolled his eyes, a habit he was annoyed to find he’d picked up from the often overwhelmingly irritable teenagers with which he spent most of his time. “I do have a filling system Buffy, all the books are ordered alphabetically by title, and then cross referenced with author and date of publication. If you’d ever bothered to look, you’d see I’ve actually put little numbers on their spines. See?” Giles pointed at one in an over dramatic gesture that would have made even Spike proud.
“Ah”, Buffy swallowed the angry ball of pain thinking of Spike inspired and looked at Giles with confusion. “Then why are you taking so long to find the book?”
Giles threw up his hands in frustration, “Because I can’t remember what the blasted things called, when it was bloody written or who by!”
Buffy smiled at his expression. “Oh.”
“Yes, quite.”
Sometime later however Buffy was pouring over the book Giles had eventually, triumphantly, shoved in front of her. She flipped through manically until she found the page she wanted. La Mort. Death. The book had a picture of the card, with a very not-of-the-happy-inspiring illustration, and a definition;
Upright - The beginning of a new life. As a result of underlying circumstances transformation and change. Major changes. The end of a phase in life which has served its purpose. Abrupt and complete change of circumstances, way of life and patterns of behaviour due to past events and actions. Alterations.
Ill Dignified or Reversed - Change that is both painful and unpleasant. A refusal to face the fear of change or change itself. Agonising periods of transition. Inertia. Lethargy. Mental, physical or emotional exhaustion.
Buffy read through the meanings several times. It seemed it didn’t mean death in the literal sense, but the kinda vague meanings it did have were in no way reassuring. She didn’t know if Spike had pulled the card facing upright or reversed. Either way badness could be read into it.
‘The end of a phase in life which has served its purpose. Abrupt and complete change of circumstances, way of life and patterns of behaviour due to past events and actions.’ – Spike deciding to no longer be the saviour of slayers?
‘Change that is both painful and unpleasant. Agonising periods of transition.’ A change that would be painful, unpleasant and agonising, but for who? Buffy’s heart hurt to think that it could be Spike affected in such a way, but her heart hurt equally thinking that it could be a change he would inflict on others.
Her head ached. Without being consciously aware of it her hands began to turn the pages, until they found what else they had been unconsciously looking for. La Justice. Justice.
Upright - Amicable and favourable resolution of conflicts. Triumph over bigotry and prejudice. Clarity. Fairness. Arbitration. A straightforward choice. Judgement.
Ill Dignified or Reversed - Injustice. Inequality and bias. Separations not yet ratified or legalised. Delay. imbalance. Complicate negotiations. Unfair or delayed judgement.
She almost laughed when she read the definition. Clarity? A straightforward choice? That was so not the case here. Judgement? She considered that for a moment. Being the Slayer meant she was often judge, jury, and executioner. It wasn’t her choice, it was just the way the gig worked. And here she was, yet again, having to judge. But this time she was judging Spike, her Spike. Her feelings for him, coupled with her experience of a soulless Angel were tearing her in two. Was she being bigoted? Prejudiced? Or was she being fair, considering the circumstances?
It was just so hard. She knew that to really get some answers she’d have to talk to Spike, but if she saw him, if he confirmed her worst fears, she’d have to turn away from him and it would break her. She honestly didn’t think she’d have the strength.
Giles had been quietly watching Buffy as she read, he saw the emotions playing on her face, pain being among the foremost. He was desperate to know what was wrong, what he could do to take her pain away.
“Buffy? Are you alright?”
Buffy gave a tormented sigh, and allowed a tear to fall before hastily brushing it away with a trembling hand. “Not really Giles, no. But – I don’t think – I can’t talk about it right now.”
Giles was tempted to push the issue, but he didn’t. Buffy would tell him, when she was ready. “Alright Buffy, but you know that I’m here for you, when you need me.”
Buffy’s smile was watery, “Thank you.”
The harshly ringing phone broke the moment. Buffy’s heart instantly began to drum a wild beat in her chest. Spike. Spike. Spike.
She knew it was him as surely as if she’d watched him dial. She could feel him.
Giles stood up but before he could answer Buffy chocked out a strangled “Wait! Giles, can you not tell Spike I’m here? I can’t talk to him right now”.
Giles raised an eyebrow, but nodded. How she knew it would be Spike on the other end he had no idea, but he was beginning to get an inkling of what was wrong with Buffy.
Before Giles could even say hello Spikes voice was coming out loud and clear. And irritated.
“Bloody hell watcher, had one too many doughnuts have we? Took time enough for you to get your lardy arse off the sofa didn’t it?”
Giles was at a bit of a loss as to what to reply, which didn’t matter much because Spike wasn’t finished ranting.
“You’d think a watcher, livin under the constant threat of doom and bloody gloom would be a bit quicker to answer his soddin phone. Never mind though eh, s’not as if I was ringin about anythin important. You go back to doin your puzzle, or tryin to get a shag or whatever you were doin.”
Buffy could hear Spike from her position on the couch. The timber of his voice was doing havoc to her heart rate while what he was saying was causing a bittersweet smile to pull at the corner of her mouth. God how she missed him.
Giles opened and closed his mouth. “Uh, well, I’ve just gotten out of the uh, shower, and it took me a moment to reach the phone.”
There was a pause.
“Thanks a soddin bunch watcher, that’s really an image a bloke needs first thing in the morning, you gettin wet and soaped up. I suddenly have the need to drink a hell of a lot.”
Giles turned a deep red, “That aside, um, well how is your mission going? Have you had any luck locating this Anna person?”
Spike sighed. With her enhanced hearing Buffy heard it. She couldn’t block out the sound of his voice, just as she couldn’t stop the tremors that coursed through her body at the sound of it. She wanted to hold him, to make him sigh in pleasure, not frustration. She wanted to trace the lines of his face, and have him trail his lingering kisses along her neck. She wanted him. She had to force herself to remember his deception. No matter how intimately it felt like she knew him, she didn’t know him at all. Not really. If she didn’t keep reminding herself of that her resolve would crumble and she would be running to LA to throw herself in his arms.
“It turns out Hell A’s a lot soddin bigger then I remember. And everyone in its a lot thinner. And more orange. I went to Anna's old apartment last night, but she’s moved on. Met up with a couple of contacts last night, and they told me roughly what area she was in. I found her place, but she wasn’t there. Turns out she’s trackin a pack of werewolves somewhere up north.”
Giles rubbed his forehead. “A pack?”
Buffy heard Spike inhale and could practically see him pacing around restlessly and chain smoking away.
“Yes Rupes, a pack, as in more than one, try to keep up will you? It doesn’t often happen, wolves banding together, they’re even more territorial than vamps. When they do though they’re damn near unstoppable in wolf form. I’m gonna have to go try and find her, help her take them out so she can get to Sunnyhell quicker. Unless your research’s turned up a better plan?”
Giles leaned heavily against the counter. “I’m afraid not. I was up until inhumanly late last night trying to find another course of action, but I couldn’t find one. That doesn’t mean I wont though. My books have never let me down yet.”
Spike snorted. “Well in that case I’ll go with my plan.”
“How do you expect to find Anna if you only know she’s up north somewhere?”
“God you're dim in the mornin. Use your noggin watcher, I’ll do a locator spell. Was gonna do one the minute I got here, but I fancied meetin up with some of my contacts, seein whats been goin on lately. A lot of sod all apparently.”
Giles felt a little foolish. “A locator spell. Oh yes, of course.”
“Anyway watcher, can I speak to the slayer?”
Buffy’s eyes widened and she made frantic headshaking gestures in Giles direction, which were impossible for him to miss.
“Uh Buffy? I’m afraid Buffy’s not here right now Spike.”
Spike snorted. “Yes she is, I can hear her breathing.”
Giles was speechless for a moment. “You – you can hear her breathing? Over the phone?”
“Well yeah, she breathes loud.”
Buffy was still shaking her head. Giles didn’t like lying to Spike, but Buffy obviously didn’t want to speak to him.
“That’s um, thats not Buffy, that’s Willow. She er, came over early to do some research.”
“Well that’s a load of bullocks. I know the difference between Red and the slayer Rupes. Put her on the line. And we’ll get to why you were showering while she was in the house later on.”
There was a definite growl to Spikes words. He didn’t mean what he was insinuating, he was just frustrated and confused as to why Giles would lie to him.
Giles got very flustered, he wasn’t sure what to do for the best. Buffy fled to the bathroom and made his decision for him. “She’s a little busy at the moment Spike, can I get her to call you back?”
“Yes you bloody well can. And you can tell her that whatever’s got her panties in so much of a bunch that she doesn’t want to talk to me won’t get sorted out until she does. Stupid chit.”
“Did you want me to tell her she’s a stupid chit?”
The only response Giles got was the dial tone as Spike hung up.
Buffy left Giles not long after, she still hadn’t told him what was wrong, but she seemed more upset than ever.
Buffy just wanted to be alone, in the dark of her bedroom. She wanted to sleep, to get lost in unconscious thoughts and have a moment to forget the horrible duel pain of Spikes absence, and Spikes lies.
That day, as Buffy tried to block out the world, the world wouldn’t let her be. The phone rang almost as soon as she got through the door. Buffy had to clamp her hands to her sides to prevent her answering. After the phone rang for the sixth time in an hour Buffy unplugged it.
She still couldn’t sleep.
Xander stopped by that afternoon, sent by an anxious Giles who hadn’t been able to get hold of Buffy.
Only the inner certainty of knowing she would have felt Spikes presence if it was him made Buffy open the door.
When she saw Xander standing there she almost wished she hadn’t. She loved her best friend dearly, but she wasn’t in the mood for his bad jokes.
As Buffy was wearing only fairly skimpy pj’s Xander didn’t notice the grey twinge to her skin, the red and puffy state of her eyes or her obvious lack of joy at seeing him.
He walked straight on into the house without waiting to be invited. “Hey Buffster! I’m here on a Giles sanctioned mission. You know there’s been this funky knew invention called the telephone, you might want to learn how to answer one.” Xander flopped into a chair. “Have you got any cookies? I’m in need of some sugary goodness. Cordy’s been driving me mad –“ He put on a high, whiny, and eerily accurate imitation of Cordelia’s voice. “ – You never take me anywhere! You never buy me anything! Blah blah with a dollop of blah on the side.”
Buffy couldn’t really think of anything to say, other than “Where’s Willow?”
Xander rolled his eyes, “Oz is sick or something so she’s ‘looking after him’. She’s spending all of her time with him these days. I don’t get it. Don’t get me wrong, I like the guy and all, but he’s not really Mr conversation, you’d think she’d prefer to hang out with her best friends.”
Buffy’s lips twisted into a small smile, “Yeah, cause with all the research and dangerous monster slayage and deadly situations we’re way more fun to be around then a nice normal boy who crushes majorly over her.”
“Exactly!” Xander clearly didn’t get the sarcasm.
Buffy fiddled with the throw on the couch. “So, what did Giles want me for? Did he have a break through with the research?”
Xander suddenly looked a little sullen, “Nah, he just got a call from captain peroxide he wanted to tell you about.”
Buffy tried to feign a lack of interest, even though the blood was pounding unnaturally loudly in her ears.
“Oh?”
The fact that Buffy hadn’t emitted a girly squeal and gotten all excited over the mention of the bleached menace improved Xander’s mood instantly, as did remembering the message Giles had asked him to pass on.
“Yeah, apparently he’s located that wolf hunter woman, contacted her and offered her his services in the ‘job’ she’s working on, in exchange for her coming here and helping us. She was keen on the idea apparently, had been beginning to worry she couldn’t take out the whole pack on her own or something. He said it was going to take a few days for him to reach her, she’s in Alaska or somewhere, and he might be gone for a week. Giles was majorly wigging about it, said it only left us with a week or so to find the werewolf, but if this woman’s as good as short and irritating says she is then that should be plenty of time.”
Buffy nodded and murmured agreements, like she knew she was supposed to, but inside her heart was breaking just a little more. This job Spike was going to be helping that Anna on was going to be dangerous. If one werewolf could do as much damage as Giles said than taking on a whole pack of them was practically suicidal. She wanted to ring Spike, tell him to come home, tell him that they would find another way to kill the werewolf. She knew he wouldn’t listen to her but she still wanted to try. She didn’t want him gone, especially not for a whole week. Especially when she didn’t know what he was doing or if he was ok. She’d have to answer the next time he called. She didn’t know what she’d say to him, but the need to hear his voice was clawing at her gut, and it was only getting worse.
After she heavily hinted, and in the end actually insisted, that Xander should leave so she could have a lie down he finally did, but he was very disgruntled about it.
“We never hang out any more Buff, not in the fun teenage high jinks way. You completely baled on the Bronze the other night. You’re always with Spike, and even when he’s not here your too busy moping about it to hang out with your friends. You know, your best and completely not undead friends.”
Buffy sighed, she so didn’t want to get into that discussion, but Xander was right, she had been more than a bit self centred, or Spike centred, lately. She loved her friends, she didn’t want them to think she was taking all the sacrifices they’d made for her for granted.
“I’m sorry Xand, I know I’ve been a bit Buffy-of-the-no-fun lately, but things have been a bit hectic, in a massive understatement way. I’ll make more of an effort to have some hang time, I do miss you guys.”
Xander’s face softened. “I know you have the most stressful job in the world Buff, and I know that, for a reason I can’t understand, you like spending time with captain peroxide, but we miss you too. I don't want to be selfish about it, I don't want all of your time and attention, I know how draining that can be from going out with Cordy. But me and Wills kinda love you. We kinda love you a lot.”
Buffy felt close to tears for the zillionth time that day. She pulled Xander in for a fierce hug that, while touching, had him gasping for breath and wincing.
Buffy laughed shakily and pulled away. “I love you guys too. How about a movie night? Tomorrow or something? That is if Willow gets a break from being super nurse to Oz.”
Xander smiled, “That sounds great Buffster. I suppose I’ll have to take Cordy shopping tomorrow day time or something then, try and get in her good books so she’ll loosen the leash a bit.”
Buffy wrinkled her nose. “That sounded kinda kinky Xand.”
Xander laughed, and gave an exaggerated wink, “It was meant to”.
Buffy gave him a hug of the less bone breaking variety and when he’d gone she found she was actually really glad he’d come. She didn’t feel any less torn up about the Spike situation, but Xander had reminded her that she had amazing friends who would let her lean on them and try to stop her collapsing.
Deciding it was time to face her demon, literally, Buffy plugged the phone back in, crawled into the safety of her bed with the handset and the ever comforting Mr Gordo and waited.
She didn’t have long to wait.
Ring Ring
Spike.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Super sorry for another tardy update, well aware that my promise to be finished with this fic this week has been horribly broken!! Literally on the home straight now though :) Thanks so much for sticking with it, and for the wonderfully, massively happy making reviews. *I realised I made a mistake in the last couple of chapters, I put the name of the wolf hunter as Jane, when its actually Anna, this has been corrected now, but in this chapter I've used the right name, and I didn't want you to suddenly think huh? whose Anna?* Sorry!
:)
:)