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Buffy wriggled against his chest until she could look up at the profile of Spike’s face. He seemed engrossed in the film they were watching and a mischievous gleam sprung into her hazel eyes. She brought her hand up to his ribs and began to slowly, but intensely, tickle him. He tried not to react but she could see his jaw clenching in restraint. After a minute he swatted her hand away. She just smiled and resumed. Through gritted teeth he snarled,

“Stop that you stupid bint”.

Buffy giggled but just tickled him harder.


“I said bloody stop that!”


“Make me!”


“Oh I’ll bloody well make you in a minute slayer!”


Before Buffy could blink she had been flung on her back along the sofa and Spike had instigated an all out tickling assault. She squealed as his long sure fingers found, as always, her most sensitive spots. As soon as she could draw breath she used her slayer strength to flip their positions. He growled as her attack intensified. They rolled off the sofa and around the floor, neither gaining dominance for long. Buffy’s squeals and Spike’s growls filled the room as the film and their friends were forgotten.
Spike seemed to have gained the upper hand, until Buffy sprang to her feet and sprinted for the kitchen.


“Bloody cheat!” Spike yelled from the floor.

“Looser!” Buffy yelled from the kitchen.

“Stupid bint!”

“Evil vampire!”

“Bitch!”

“Ponce!”

Spike roared at that one and leapt to his own feet, giving chase. The squeals and growls quickly resumed.
Xander scowled at the doorway and Willow gave him a small smile, whilst sneakily turning up the TV in an attempt to distract him. It didn’t work.

Eventually Buffy and Spike returned to the living room, walking, but bound together in a mass of flailing limbs. Clearly no one had won the battle yet. They didn’t break eye contact as they lowered themselves awkwardly onto the sofa. After a long minute they said, in unison, “Truce”.

They released their iron strong grip on the other instantly and snuggled back down to watch the film. Buffy flung her legs over Spike and nestled her head under her chin, whilst he snaked his arm around her waist and drew idle patterns on her hand.


Xander glared at them and muttered bitterly “You are such a couple.”


He knew he shouldn’t have said it as soon as the words were out of his mouth, but by then it was too late.
Two pairs of eyes, one green one intensely blue, flashed to him, narrowed in anger and glinting gold to different extents.

“We are NOT...” Buffy began,
“a couple” Spike finished.


Xander couldn’t stop himself shooting back “Well you sure as hell act like one!”


Willow inwardly groaned, she had been hoping to avoid yet another scene.

To her surprise, a scene never came. Buffy and Spike looked at each other for a long, silent moment, and then seemed to forget completely that Xander had said anything at all.


In the past, if Xander said anything about them being a couple they would both react badly, Spike would flare his nostrils and growl softly while Buffy would stare him down or stomp her feet. Both would claim that just because they weren’t trying to kill each other anymore didn’t mean they were anything more than mortal enemies, turned allied friends.
Now they seemed to have finally realised that the time when they were enemies, and even the time they were just friends, was long, long passed.

The front door suddenly flew open and Dawn bound brightly into the living room, her school bag hanging off her shoulder. Everyone turned to her with a smile and Buffy and Spike moved away from each other enough to leave a Dawn sized space between them. Without invitation she flopped onto the sofa.

“Hey guys”.


Spike reached up to ruffle her hair and she looked at him with pretend annoyance. “Hey nibblet”. Buffy took Dawns hand absently as Spike tucked her other arm beneath his own.


“Good day?” Willow asked as she paused the film.


Dawn scrunched up her nose prettily. “Uh, kinda, got given a big assignment I so don’t want to do, and we’ve got a new French teacher who’s a big ho bag...”


“Dawn!” Buffy said reproachfully, “That’s your influence” she continued with a mock glare at Spike. He just looked at Dawn with a proud smile and replied

“Great innit?”


Buffy rolled her eyes.

“Oh but yeah!” Dawn burst out excitedly, “I got an A on my English essay!”

Now both of them looked at her with pride and Buffy gave her a big, genuine smile. “That’s great Dawnie, you are so the brains of this family!”


“No argument here pet” Spike chimed in.

Buffy reached around Dawn and pinched Spikes arm. Hard. Dawn giggled as Spike glared. He looked at Dawn and his gaze softened, “This calls for cornbread and chilli I reckon”. If it was possible Dawn brightened even more at the mention of her favourite ever dinner.


“With chocolate pie for afters?”


Spike gave her a crooked smile “Course Bit, might even stretch to ice cream to go with it.”


Dawn sighed contentedly. “I’m gonna have to be smart more often.”

Spike chuckled.


Willow looked at the family before her. Despite what Spike and Buffy might claim, the three of them were a family, and as much as Buffy loved her friends and they loved her, they were not a part of the intimate family unit.


After a while they flicked the film back on and they all enjoyed the peace that had settled over the house.


When it had finished Spike drifted off to the kitchen to start cooking. Willow couldn’t help but notice that while he was out of the room Buffy’s eyes were continually drawn to the doorway, as though waiting his return. Once she called out “Spikeeee...” and though Willow wouldn’t have had a clue what this meant Spike obviously did as the next second a pack of Oreos flew through the air, to be deftly caught by Buffy as she called out “Thanks!”

He then came in with a jug of milk, enough glasses for all of them, (apart from Xander, some things would never change) and a jar of peanut butter, which he handed straight to Buffy. The domesticity of it all and the sweetness of his actions shocked Willow, even though things had been heading this way for a long time now.


Buffy pulled out a couple of Oreos and passed the pack around before dipping one in the peanut butter and standing up to feed it to Spike. He ate half and she popped the rest in her own mouth. He reached over and brushed away the little bit of peanut butter which had clung to her lip before bringing the finger to his own mouth and sucking it clean. Their eyes met with a look of such smouldering intensity Willow could have sworn she saw sparks flying, and even Xander, who was never normally attentive, noticed and coughed pointedly. Spike looked away with a little difficulty and said
“Thanks luv” in a huskier then normal voice as he padded back into the kitchen.


Xander was still in a sulk, and though the biscuits had cheered him up a bit as soon as he saw Buffy follow Spike into the kitchen and heard the following murmur of soft, intimate voices he went straight back into super sulky mode. Willow felt like hitting him out of his idiotic attitude.


She really didn’t know why he had such a problem with this. Buffy and Spike said they weren’t a couple and even if the facts staring her in the face screamed that it wasn't the truth she was certainly not going to be the one to bring them out of their denial. Particularly as this whole bizarre situation could be considered to be her fault. If she hadn’t done that spell all those years ago things might have been very different.



Spike stared out of the window pensively, his jaw tense and his arms crossed. Buffy stood at the doorway and watched. Spike had been out of sorts for days now, quiet and thoughtful, hardly an oath had crossed his lips. Very not like himself. Buffy knew from experience the only way to get him to say what was on his mind was to wait until he came to her. He always did, in the end.

Sensing she was behind him Spike put his arm out and Buffy moved to it without thought, snuggling into his side. She felt his shoulders drop, his tension temporarily lifted, and he sighed deeply. It was coming, he was going to tell her what was wrong, and for some reason Buffy was scared.


“Buffy...” Spike said hesitantly.

She was instantly more afraid, Spike only ever called her by name when something was seriously wrong, otherwise she was pet, or luv, or goldilocks, or when he was particularly annoyed, slayer.


He let a long pause hang in the air then sighed again.
Buffy felt a stab of cold hard terror in her gut. She couldn’t be patient anymore. “What is it?” she spoke more softly then she’d intended, her words came out more like a whimper. Spike took her hand and squeezed it lightly and when he looked at her his bright blue eyes were aflame, but with what she just couldn’t tell. Her breath caught in her throat, and her heart started to pound, trying to jump from her chest. She couldn’t break her eyes from his.

“What?”

Years seemed to pass before he answered, and when he did his voice was unusually flat. “Pet, I’m, I’m goin away for a bit.”


He waited to see what effect his words would have. He didn’t have long to wait. Her violent reply spoke volumes despite its brevity. “NO”.


Spike couldn’t contain the smirk. “I wasn’t askin your permission pet.”


Her eyes were wide and angry but her voice shook. “You’re not leaving me”.


He shook his head gently and reached up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. His fingers lingered on the side of her face, barely tracing the outline of her cheek, but leaving a trail of icey fire behind.


“’m not leavin you luv, I promise, but I there’s somethin I need to do. I won’t be gone long.”


Buffy was still suppressing the pleasurable shudders which coursed through her body at his slightest touch as she replied, “What do you need to do?”


His eyes twinkled slightly as his head tilted to the side in the gesture she knew so well. “Can’t tell ya pet, not yet. You’ll just have to trust me” the last was said slightly hesitatingly, as though he still wasn’t sure how much she trusted him.


She took his other hand and closed the space between them, so they were standing nose to nose, his cool breath tickling her cheek.
She was swimming in his scent, drowning in it. She would never get enough of his scent. It had been a long time since she’d slept in anything but his shirts, needing the heady aroma of smoke and whiskey and him to make closing her eyes worthwhile. As exposed to his scent as she was it still made her dizzy, and she subconsciously breathed in deeply. Through half lidded eyes she looked into his own and when she spoke her voice was breathy but certain, “I trust you Spike. More than anyone.”


He couldn’t hide his shock, or his obvious delight at her words. He rested his forehead against hers and chuckled. The rumble spread from him to her, and it suffused her body with heat, causing tingles to shoot in her womb. “You don’t know how much that means pet. You really don’t.”


Buffy smiled. “You might be my mortal enemy but your also kinda my very best friend. When your nor trying to kill me that is.” Her heartfelt tone belied the flippant nature of her words. Despite their rocky history he was her best friend. Her very best friend. The best friend she had ever had. And yet he was so much more than that.


Spike let out another rumbling laugh and wound his fingers more tightly within hers. She knew the feel of them would linger for a long time after he let them go. Thinking of him leaving made her tighten her grip. “How long would you be gone?”


Spike sighed, his forehead still pressed on hers. He was still replaying her last words to him, over and over again. When he had control of the emotions he just couldn’t explain he answered, “A month, at most”.


She pulled away from him with a start and her eyes flew to capture his, both were shocked and mourned the loss of contact, but Buffy was too angry to listen to her body and go back to him. “A MONTH? You want to go away for a month? A MONTH??”


Spike shook his head again, “I don’t want to go Buffy, I need to”.


He looked at her imploringly, willing her to understand that he would never leave unless he had to. This was something he had to do.


Buffy ran a hand through her hair in a gesture so reminiscent of Spike that he had to smile.


“I know you don’t want to tell me why you’re going, but I have to know, is it... it’s not, it’s not about... Drusilla, is it?” Buffy hated asking and she hated saying the name, but she had to know, she’d feel sick unless she did. Drusilla had popped up a couple of times over the years, usually to cause trouble or try to tempt Spike away. Spike had never failed in his loyalty to Buffy, but she hated Drusilla all the same.



Spike took a cautious step forward. “It’s not Dru, I promise.”


Buffy nodded. The feeling of unease in her heart lifted a little, but not much. He was still going away, for a month. In four years Buffy had never gone a day without seeing Spike. At first his constant presence was irritating beyond belief, but it soon became necessary, then welcome, and then essential to her. He had lived with her and Dawn for almost two years, since her mother had died, and she took for granted that he would be the first person she talked to in the morning and the last person she spoke to at night. She didn’t know how she would cope without him. He could never take the burden of being the slayer away, but he shared the weight of it with her, she wasn’t alone when he was there. She didn’t want him to go. But she couldn’t make him stay.


Spike had been edging towards her slowly and was now close enough to put a hand on her arm. She fizzed from the contact, and managed to give him a small smile. “When do you go?”


“Tomorrow. Tomorrow night.”


She heard the hiss at her own sharp intake of breath.

“Tomorrow...” she murmured. She looked at him with another small smile “I don’t envy you telling Dawn”.


“Can’t you tell her?” Spike pouted.

“No!” Buffy laughed a little at the hurt look on his face.


“Oh bugger it” he swore softly. I suppose I’ll have to make another chocolate pie, soften the blow like”.


Buffy squeezed his hand again. “I don’t think it will soften the blow much.”



Without saying another word Buffy turned to leave the room, keeping a firm grip on Spikes hand to make sure he was following. After Joyce had died Buffy had moved into her room, wanting to feel close to her mother, and wanting to be surrounded by things which were wholly her. Spike had Buffy’s old room, he had seriously redecorated it, it was very much his room, but some of Buffy’s things lay scattered about, just as some of his things lay scattered in her room. It was to her room they went now, and, as they had done on so many nights in the past they curled up under the covers of the bed. Spike was in sweats and an old tee shirt. Buffy was in her standard pj’s, which were one of Spikes tee shirts and an old pair of his sweats.

She curled into his side, loving the way she fit there so perfectly, the cut of their bodies seemed to be made for each other. She had often thought that they were like one piece of paper which had been torn in half, they needed to be put together to be whole. She had never told Spike she thought this, she knew he’d just call her a soppy bint and smoke more than usual, but it’s how she felt. They talked for hours, about nothing, everything, and all the things in between. Time seemed so inconsequential when she was with him, he was with her, and they were together. They bickered and they bitched and they laughed and they held each other. It was the way they were, and Buffy would not change it for anything.

As usual Buffy fell asleep in his arms. Usually when she woke it was to find that Spike had moved to his own room during the night, and she would delight in sneaking in and waking him up as loudly and dramatically as she could. But today, before she even opened her eyes, before she was even fully conscious, she knew he hadn’t left her bed. She could sense him. Her sleep had been the most restful she could remember having. She felt safe, loved. And warm. How strange that a vampire, with his cold skin, could make her feel so warm. She didn’t want to open her eyes and break this spell. Spikes arms were wrapped tightly around her and her leg had threaded through his during the night. She couldn’t help letting out a contented sigh. He stirred against her and his long, hard erection was suddenly pressing against her thigh, and it was as though the layers of clothing between them had melted away. A rush of pure naked desire shot straight to her groin and she gasped before she could help herself. Spikes deep throaty chuckle alerted Buffy to his now wakeful state.


“Sorry pet, musta dozed off before I could move to my room. Didn’t mean to startle ya.”


Buffy mumbled some incoherent nothings; it was all she could do to get her raging hormones under control. Spike must have been able to smell her desire, hell, she could smell it. But he didn’t say anything, just peeled himself from her embrace and chucked her a cocky grin as he walked to the door. His hair was all mused from sleep, soft blonde curls springing out at all angles, and his bright blue eyes were still heavy. He stretched his arms above his head and his tee shirt rose up to show off an expanse of alabaster brilliance and a light brown trail leading to an area of Spikes body that Buffy was not as familiar with as she wanted to be. The muscles in his arms bunched as he flexed and Buffy held her breath. She’d never seen anything so beautiful.


He caught her eye and she blushed red to the roots of her hair. He winked at her, and smirked but didn’t say anything as he headed to the door. “I’d better go make the nibblet somethin good for breakie before I try an break the news. “


Buffy shelved her embarrassment and jumped out of bed. “I’m coming too. Don’t want to miss this, Dawn is gonna go NUTS.”


Buffy was right.


Dawn ranted. Dawn raved. Dawn cried. Dawn tried to hit Spike. Dawn begged Spike to stay, claiming she would starve in his absence as Buffy was such an appalling cook. Dawn wouldn’t stop hugging him. Then Dawn had to go to school, so she accepted the situation as long as they had a special dinner together that night before he left, and as long as he rung her everyday.


Spike readily agreed but as soon as she left the house he let out a long held breath. “That was no bloody picnic”.
Buffy rolled her eyes at him over the top of her coffee cup. “Your stupider then you look if you thought it was gonna be”.


Spike stuck his tongue out at her and snatched a piece of toast off her plate before she could react.


She swatted his hand but said seriously, “Spike, your like Dawns dad, her big brother and her best friend all in one, she’ll hate you not being here.”


He swallowed down the toast and ran his ringers through his hair, messing it up even more. “I know. She’ll hate it even more when she finds out I won’t be able to ring her.”


Buffy slammed her coffee cup on the table, slopping it all down the sides. “What the hell do you mean you won’t be able to ring?” she demanded.


Spike didn’t look shocked by her outburst, just resigned. He was already cleaning up the mess she’d made as he replied, “Where I’m going, I won’t be contactable. At all.”


If possible Buffy became even angrier. “Then how are we supposed to know your ok?!”


Spike took Buffy’s chin gently in his hands and made her look up at his face. She wished he wouldn’t do that, it was so hard to stay angry with him when she was lost in his eyes. “I’ll be ok Buffy.”

“But how will we know?” Buffy pleaded.

Spike tilted his head to the side and let a slow, sexy grin spread across his face. “Baby I’m the Big Bad, if my slayer can’t kill me nothing can.”


Buffy glowed inwardly at the possessive sound of my slayer but she was still worried enough to be annoyed at him.
She was about to say more when he cut her off by brushing a finger of the hand which held her chin slowly, sensually across her bottom lip. Buffy felt herself go wet instantly, and became a human shaped pile of goo. “Lets’ not fight eh pet? Not when this is the last day I’ll have with you in a while.”


She nodded dumbly. She couldn’t have done anything else. In unspoken agreement they ended up on the sofa in the lounge. Before either of them were aware of it Buffy had her legs around Spikes waist and her head against his neck. Their arms were around each other, holding as closely together as was humanly possible. It wasn’t enough for Buffy, she needed to be closer. She needed to be inside him, part of him and never have to let him go.

She felt his arousal pressing into her and felt her own arousal steadily soaking her panties and the sweats she wore. She had desired him physically for such a long time, but she never allowed herself to consider it a possibility. She knew he desired her too, but he never said anything either.

If there was one thing Buffy had learned in her life is that lovers left. They came, they took what they wanted and they left, leaving you just a bit smaller, a bit more broken, then you were before. But Spike had fixed her. He had made her whole again. Made her feel more content and made her laugh more then she had even before she was called. He wasn’t just in her heart, he was her heart, and she couldn’t risk it. Couldn’t risk him. Lovers came, lovers left. What she and Spike shared was forever, for always. For eternity. She was his and he was hers. Mine.


Thinking of those words drew her back to the constantly reoccurring thoughts she had been having about the Vampiric claim. She had been reading up on it, a lot, but she hadn’t mentioned to anyone her desire to claim Spike as her mate. People would think it was a sexual thing, when it wasn’t. It was spiritual. Giles might not think Spike had a soul but Buffy knew different, through his eyes she saw deep within him, and she saw light. And anyway, how could he be her soul mate if he didn’t have a soul? While these thoughts were racing through her head she had been unknowingly brushing her lips along Spikes neck, just where his pulse would be. She only became aware of it when she heard a soft moan escape him, and his hands tighten around her back. She didn’t stop, but carried on exploring his neck with her lips, barely touching, just feeling the electricity crackle. God he smelt so good and he tasted better. She wanted to taste more, wanted to taste everything, wanted to taste what he was. She swore she could feel a pulse pounding against her lips, as though at that moment Spike had become alive again just for her. Conscious thought disappeared to be replaced with want and need and something stronger, something primal and instinctive that she could not fight against.
She didn’t think, she just felt. Her mouth opened widely and she brought her teeth against his neck. And she bit him.
The first taste of his blood was overwhelming. She heard him gasp, but didn’t worry, somewhere inside she knew it was a good gasp. His blood swirled on her tongue, and stars appeared before her eyes. It was as though she was seeing in colour for the first time, touching things with her skin rather than through cloth, feeling things with all pretences and falsities stripped away.

Her orgasm was upon her before she’d known it was building, and the wave crashed against her, again and again and again as she pulled his sweet blood into her mouth. There was no world, there was no family or friends, there was nothing beyond this, the two of them and the pull of his blood. She was almost carried away on the tide of her emotions but her grip on Spike kept her grounded.

When at last she pulled her teeth from his neck she couldn’t see anything but stars, could barely breath from the amazement of it all. She heard herself say the word in a growl she had never spoken in before, “Mine”. As she spoke she swirled her tongue over the bite wound to help it to heal, and she knew in every inch of her that it was true. He was hers, he had to be hers. In a gaspingly hoarse and emotion filled voice she heard Spikes reply “Yours”. And the world tilted again.


He was her

She was him

They were one, and they were everything all at once.

They went through all time and eternity and she knew him better then herself

He was Spike, the demon.

He was William, the man.

And he was a thousand shades of gray and contradictions in between.

It was as though they had left their earthly bodies and come together as one entity, one being on another more fantastic plane of existence. She felt it was all too much and yet just enough at the same time. They shared thoughts and memories and hopes and dreams and it was impossible to distinguish whose were whose, and in the end it didn’t matter anyway, because they were one now.

Buffy had absolutely no idea how long they sat there. The apocalypse could have come and gone and she would have had no idea. Every once in a while she would nuzzle her bite mark and whisper “mine” and he would reply fervently “Yours”. And that was enough. It would have been enough forever, but eventually reality had to intrude.


Dawn came home and barged into the living room just as Spike and Buffy had managed to untangle themselves from each other, with difficulty. Buffy went to stand but her head swam and she would have fallen were it not for Spikes strong arm being flung about her waist. She found she liked it being there more than ever. She looked up at him, he looked down at her, a wealth of words flowed between them without a sound needing to be uttered.





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